February 2020 Moms

Say What?!?!?!

This is a thread to share the random, rude, inappropriate, insensitive, things people say to us or ask us in regards to our pregnancies.

I have a feeling by February we will have compiled quite the list.

Re: Say What?!?!?!

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  • @craftywitch the waiting till 12 weeks or whatever has never made sense to me *TW I’ve had multiple losses and it helps to have people to talk to. So if I’m gonna tell them if something happens then I might as well tell them I’m pregnant* 
  • Not exactly about my current pregnancy:
    My favorite so far was a coworker who knew I miscarried 3 weeks earlier, say "ooohhh now you have to have a baby!" the day my sister had her little boy. I had no words.... some people are not very smart.
  • @craftywitch We've told nearly everyone as well. Part of that is because everyone knew we were doing IVF and this is the intended result, but also because it's exciting and I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
  • @daffodil_shoe I can already tell you we will agree on that UO. 
  • @craftywitch Haha 😂 right! 
  • I have two girls and honestly, I’m kind of hoping for another girl. I’d be happy to have a boy, but thinking of all of the hand-me-downs and money saved is awesome.

    @kmj1426 comments like that in front of your kids is a whole new level of insensitivity 
  • I was lucky when pregnant with DS that I never had someone make any off the wall comments....I honestly don’t know how I’d react!  Reading everyone else’s just makes me wonder wtf is wrong with all these people that they feel it’s their place to share their shitty opinion on someone else’s family.  Just unreal!  I’m sorry for those of you that have to deal with this already!!

    Me: 39 DH: 36
    Married: Sept 2018
    DS: December 2016
    #2 EDD Feb 2020

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I have two girls and honestly, I’m kind of hoping for another girl. I’d be happy to have a boy, but thinking of all of the hand-me-downs and money saved is awesome.

    @kmj1426 comments like that in front of your kids is a whole new level of insensitivity 
    Same! I have 2 boys and I’d rather have another boy. I don’t have to redecorate the nursery, all the hand me downs, boy toys. Everyone thinks it’s a girl and is like “ohhh are you wanting a girl?” I bet you my own mother will have a ridiculous comment if this baby is a boy. I’m just waiting for it. 
  • Oh the best comments came from this lady that worked in my same store, but different companies. She said (after I came back from maternity leave) “oh! It sure is good you lost that baby weight. You were so fat!” Why thank you? She said stuff constantly about my bump and weight the whole pregnancy. 
  • I didn’t even think about how much simpler it would be in terms of not having to redecorate the nursery @jessieR358!

    I have no words for that @kmj1426 that’s got to be such a tough situation because I would have some choice words for him, but also not want to lose my cool in front of the kids. 
  • @doodleoodle yeah, I had custom curtains made for this room and everything. My 20 month old is in it now, but he’ll move into the others room with the new baby. i worry about the nursery, but our babies sleep in our room until almost one, so I have time ha! 
  • Not completely pregnancy related since nobody but my SO and I know we're expecting so far, but we've been married less than 2 months and anytime I called my family I was getting the stereotypical "Where are my grandkids/niece/nephews!?" Followed with "Well don't stress out about, stress only makes it more difficult to conceive!" 🤦‍♀️

    They still get to wait 2 weeks to find out. 
  • After learning we've miscarried: "At least you know you can get pregnant without medication!" 
  • elmann1 said:
    After learning we've miscarried: "At least you know you can get pregnant without medication!" 
    I think only people who have never had a loss say this nonsense.  I am so sorry.  
  • smogiesmogie member
    The "at least" statements made me LIVID after i lost my first. 

    At least you can get pregnant 
    At least you can try again
    At least it happened early
    At least you know what to do differently next time...

    So bleeping mad.
  • @smogie

    what to do differently next time?!?! 
    As if it is your fault?  Ugh.
  • What I heard after mmc:

    That's ok, you can try again [this one isnt important?]
    Well, you werent that far along anyway
    At least you werent 24 weeks or farther [still death of a child]
    Maybe its gods way of saying youre not ready
    There was probably something wrong with it

    All from family that hasnt experienced MC.
    Whether its 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 40 weeks, its still very painful and I need to grieve.

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