Not sure if it really counts cause they don’t know I’m pregnant yet but I feel like this would fall in the insensitive category since I’m not ready to tell yet last weekend I asked SIL when they would be getting a dog ( which they have been talking about for months) her response was to look me dead in the eyes and say “when you give my kids cousins” thank goodness S/O was in his game and changed the subject back to dogs I looked away so quick I’m not good at lieing😳
I've had several "Isn't it early to be telling people?" since I've basically told everyone in my vicinity and I'm only 7 weeks. I typically say "Yep, it could still die, but it probably won't."
Also today got a "Can you eat sushi?" when suggesting a sushi restaurant. "Yep, I can eat whatever I want!"
I got the give us cousins comment while I was struggling with IF and just said “at this rate never” that shut them up and it pretty much never came up again
i hate that we are made to feel like we should wait to tell it’s exciting and scary and we want to share that with people we care about and care about us! The only reason I’m not telling yet is because I want to tell my parents first, when I see them in person, they live far away and I won’t see them for a few weeks yet, though I’ve told a few people that knew when my most recent iui cycle was
@craftywitch the waiting till 12 weeks or whatever has never made sense to me *TW I’ve had multiple losses and it helps to have people to talk to. So if I’m gonna tell them if something happens then I might as well tell them I’m pregnant*
Not exactly about my current pregnancy: My favorite so far was a coworker who knew I miscarried 3 weeks earlier, say "ooohhh now you have to have a baby!" the day my sister had her little boy. I had no words.... some people are not very smart.
@craftywitch I don’t wait to tell people anymore. I went through two losses without telling anyone and it’s lonely.
I am sure i’ll able to contribute a lot to this thread over the next few months since this is my sixth baby. I’ve already had one that is a little too crude for me to post here, but it basically suggests other ways for us to have sex so that we prevent pregnancy. It’s always shocking to me how many people have comments about my bedroom habits since we have a large family.
@craftywitch We've told nearly everyone as well. Part of that is because everyone knew we were doing IVF and this is the intended result, but also because it's exciting and I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
@DDRRT1982 I’ve thought a lot about this topic. This will be our third. My sister, has made so many comments about us not needing to have another baby. She stopped at two and thinks that’s the magic number. And I know that she will be so upset when I finally tell her. I’ve decided that when people make rude comments about what causes pregnancy I’m just going to look confused and say it’s okay because we actually like children. That should make people feel sufficiently awkward and drop it. 😂
@DDRRT1982 and @doodleoodle I’m in the same boat. This will be our 4th and I’m already expecting lots of comments and opinions on the size of our family. I imagine my work will be very surprised too, since I just had my 3rd 11 months ago. Oh well! None of your business. I’m also really looking forward to walking through Target in a few months, hugely pregnant and with my three boys in tow. I’m sure the looks and comments will be abundant!
@therealbitts there’s nothing like the comments at target! I was just there with my five littles and there’s so much side eye! It’s going to be great walking in huge with these next two and my whole circus in tow 😂 And let’s be honest, we don’t always pick how many we get. We had twins the last go round to make 5 and really thought we were done. Surprise guess not. Lord knows I never in a million years thought I would have 7 kids!
I get so tired of hearing “are you just trying to get a boy?” Because we have 3 girls. My child having a penis is not important to me. The “I feel sorry for your husband” comments drive us mad... And if one more person says these negative comments in front of my kids again, I might lose it. They do not need to feel like burdens because they are girls.
@kmj1426 my sister, on the other hand, wants to have another so she can “have her boy” (after 3 girls). I find it obnoxious, especially since they already have things subsidized because they can’t afford the kids they have...
I have two girls and honestly, I’m kind of hoping for another girl. I’d be happy to have a boy, but thinking of all of the hand-me-downs and money saved is awesome.
@kmj1426 comments like that in front of your kids is a whole new level of insensitivity
@doodleoodle seriously. I was standing in the check out line with my kids one day and a man looked at me, looked at them and said “wow, better you than me”... yep, they are definitely better off with me than having a parent like you. Some people need to use their brains.
I was lucky when pregnant with DS that I never had someone make any off the wall comments....I honestly don’t know how I’d react! Reading everyone else’s just makes me wonder wtf is wrong with all these people that they feel it’s their place to share their shitty opinion on someone else’s family. Just unreal! I’m sorry for those of you that have to deal with this already!!
Me: 39 DH: 36 Married: Sept 2018 DS: December 2016 #2 EDD Feb 2020
I have two girls and honestly, I’m kind of hoping for another girl. I’d be happy to have a boy, but thinking of all of the hand-me-downs and money saved is awesome.
@kmj1426 comments like that in front of your kids is a whole new level of insensitivity
Same! I have 2 boys and I’d rather have another boy. I don’t have to redecorate the nursery, all the hand me downs, boy toys. Everyone thinks it’s a girl and is like “ohhh are you wanting a girl?” I bet you my own mother will have a ridiculous comment if this baby is a boy. I’m just waiting for it.
Oh the best comments came from this lady that worked in my same store, but different companies. She said (after I came back from maternity leave) “oh! It sure is good you lost that baby weight. You were so fat!” Why thank you? She said stuff constantly about my bump and weight the whole pregnancy.
Not that horrible, but when I told a coworker that this would be my last kid (my 2nd), she said “even if it’s another boy?” Uh, ya? Don’t really care if this baby has a penis or vagina, I just really wanted to experience pregnancy again and give my kid a sibling.
I didn’t even think about how much simpler it would be in terms of not having to redecorate the nursery @jessieR358!
I have no words for that @kmj1426 that’s got to be such a tough situation because I would have some choice words for him, but also not want to lose my cool in front of the kids.
@doodleoodle yeah, I had custom curtains made for this room and everything. My 20 month old is in it now, but he’ll move into the others room with the new baby. i worry about the nursery, but our babies sleep in our room until almost one, so I have time ha!
Not completely pregnancy related since nobody but my SO and I know we're expecting so far, but we've been married less than 2 months and anytime I called my family I was getting the stereotypical "Where are my grandkids/niece/nephews!?" Followed with "Well don't stress out about, stress only makes it more difficult to conceive!" 🤦♀️
I went to a wedding this weekend and one of my drunk relatives asked me at least three times when we were having number two. *TW she doesn’t know about my miscarriages or our two failed IVF attempts* but still annoying. I simply told her it’s not always as easy to have number two as it was number one.
That's ok, you can try again [this one isnt important?] Well, you werent that far along anyway At least you werent 24 weeks or farther [still death of a child] Maybe its gods way of saying youre not ready There was probably something wrong with it
All from family that hasnt experienced MC. Whether its 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 40 weeks, its still very painful and I need to grieve.
Re: Say What?!?!?!
last weekend I asked SIL when they would be getting a dog ( which they have been talking about for months) her response was to look me dead in the eyes and say “when you give my kids cousins” thank goodness S/O was in his game and changed the subject back to dogs I looked away so quick I’m not good at lieing😳
Also today got a "Can you eat sushi?" when suggesting a sushi restaurant. "Yep, I can eat whatever I want!"
I got the give us cousins comment while I was struggling with IF and just said “at this rate never” that shut them up and it pretty much never came up again
@craftywitch
i hate that we are made to feel like we should wait to tell it’s exciting and scary and we want to share that with people we care about and care about us! The only reason I’m not telling yet is because I want to tell my parents first, when I see them in person, they live far away and I won’t see them for a few weeks yet, though I’ve told a few people that knew when my most recent iui cycle was
My favorite so far was a coworker who knew I miscarried 3 weeks earlier, say "ooohhh now you have to have a baby!" the day my sister had her little boy. I had no words.... some people are not very smart.
I am sure i’ll able to contribute a lot to this thread over the next few months since this is my sixth baby. I’ve already had one that is a little too crude for me to post here, but it basically suggests other ways for us to have sex so that we prevent pregnancy. It’s always shocking to me how many people have comments about my bedroom habits since we have a large family.
hmmm maybe that’s a UO for another time...
@kmj1426 comments like that in front of your kids is a whole new level of insensitivity
Me: 39 DH: 36
Married: Sept 2018
DS: December 2016
#2 EDD Feb 2020
I have no words for that @kmj1426 that’s got to be such a tough situation because I would have some choice words for him, but also not want to lose my cool in front of the kids.
They still get to wait 2 weeks to find out.
At least you can get pregnant
At least you can try again
At least it happened early
At least you know what to do differently next time...
So bleeping mad.
what to do differently next time?!?!
As if it is your fault? Ugh.
That's ok, you can try again [this one isnt important?]
Well, you werent that far along anyway
At least you werent 24 weeks or farther [still death of a child]
Maybe its gods way of saying youre not ready
There was probably something wrong with it
All from family that hasnt experienced MC.
Whether its 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 40 weeks, its still very painful and I need to grieve.