TTCAL Week of 6/24

emeraldduchess · June 2019

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why?

ejoseph16 · June 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

BO 4/19 at 10 weeks

Status: WTO, but O is here! TWW in the next few days!

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Feeling positive this cycle, even though O came very late (I’m on CD 24), but that’s how it was when I got my BFP, so good vibes I guess? MH and I have hit it hard this month with BD, so I’m hoping for a good result. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. Just glad to be done peeing in a cup for a bit!

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why?

Jessica Biel. She’s athletic but also stylish, which is very much my philosophy. Plus, she is married to the love of my life, so... maybe I could hide out in that closet until he gets home? 🤦🏼‍♀️

kagesstarshroom · June 2019

@ejoseph16 FX for you this cycle! I am going to have to pack my cup to pee in bc we're traveling to NJ for a wedding this week haha, so I wish I were done w/ that like you are. Also, once, an ex of mine and me got into a fight bc I said I would bang DT. I was like, "why are we fighting about this. It's never going to happen. But if the situation presents itself, I WILL have sex w/ him." el oh el.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP Oct. 2018, MMC w/ D&C Jan./Feb. 2019

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? $-related rant ahead. Spoiler bc long.

Things are super sucky bc we can't afford our end of the month bills. I am re-applying to Barnes & Noble right now (went to the library for internet), but I'm worried that we'll have nothing for the two "pay what you can" payments I have w/ the OB/surgical hospital. DH & I almost got in a fight bc I told him not to spend $ on the party we had this weekend (a whole other point of contention I won't get into) & I mentioned something related to TTC & he was like "we can't even afford a kid rn" & I got LIVID & nasty. I was like "cool, great, we can't even afford the bills we already have from my surgery earlier this year, too" & started to cry bc like--that's not fair of him. The summer is always a broke time for us & has been since we've been together & we've always managed to make it thru. This one is PARTICULARLY bad, for sure, but like--that's why my dad paid for our trip home & hotels for the wedding? & why I literally do nothing except go out once a week so that I don't spend money on anything but groceries (& vitamins! so expensive!). Speaking of vitamins being expensive, I'm only buying my PNV & I also got DH's vitamin bc they're just...we can't afford any of the others we were taking rn. I hate that. But, ya know, bills. I have some leads on some possible gigs/a job/etc., but a lead is not the same as actually bringing real money in.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just OPKs

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why? Janelle Monae or Gwen Stefani. I just love both of their styles--I love the 90s & I love a black & white aesthetic & they both dress up & down super well--& are USUALLY dressed up, as am I.

EmilyLove25 · June 2019

Hey, Ladies! I hope everyone had a good/restful/fun/relaxing weekend at least in some respect!

I had one loss around 10/11 weeks and had a D&C on 5/8

Status: TWW. My first since the loss! I’m happy to be here!

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going pretty well overall. I told myself I wouldn’t stress this cycle and just appreciate that I had a normal cycle. I’m sure I’ll still be disappointed when AF comes, but I can see the bigger picture!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Only if I bust out my crazy and take a HPT next weekend.

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why? Literally everyone in the world dresses better than I do, so I’d take anyone’s, but let me think… someone like Kate Middleton. I could wear all that stuff to work and not look like a slob (my current MO).

@ejoseph16 Hey, girl, hey! You and DH really deserve an award simply for how much you DTD. I’m impressed! Yay for O (how many times can I congratulate you hahaha).

@kagesstarshroom Hugs. I really had financial issues. I remember summers when I was doing my PhD. Always broke no matter what planning I did. Have you ever tried doing any editing work/free lance work? Our business school hires English people for that ALL. THE. TIME. Just a thought.

tyrion_ · June 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Early loss May 2019

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

My first cycle AL is behind me. I started spotting yesterday and am spotting today. Expecting AF fully by tonight, maybe tomorrow. And I’m surprisingly doing ok with it. Pumped to dip some OPKs soon. Last Friday was a little more emotional than I had expected. It was when I had scheduled my U/S. But I handled it gracefully and got drunk at my niece’s birthday party 🥴

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why? Whatever celebrity wears the most lululemon or any higher end athleisure. Because that’s what I live in.

kagesstarshroom · June 2019

@EmilyLove25 I just don't know how to get those jobs? I've done a bunch of friends' manuscripts/thesises in the past but that was all word of mouth. And I joined something call UpWork, but they want you to pay to bid on jobs? And they take TWENTY PERCENT of your earnings plus a fee? Two of my fellow PhDs do it, but they are only asking $15/hour--plus 20% plus a fee that's... I mean. I've charged between $25 (For friends) & $40 an hour (10 pages/hour) when I was copyediting/freelancing, so it just seems like a scam. I don't want to pay them to bid out of principle, too. Anyway, I haven't had the internet at my house since Thursday, so I haven't even been tempted to do anything more with that site. There's nothing on the local Craigslist for editing--any tips on how to get jobs like that/where to look for them? I wouldn't charge that much if I weren't... an excellent grammarian/copyeditor.

tyrion_ · June 2019

@ejoseph16 Fingers crossed for you! It’s hard to keep the ttc motivation going when you O that late. Hope I can channel some of that energy in case I have a long cycle this round.

@kagesstarshroom Bills, money, the future, retirement stress me the f out. I don’t work and I have guilt every day over the burden of that. I hope you guys get through the summer without too many more bumps in the financial road.

mhamik · June 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MM at 10 weeks end of May.

Status: Not a clue, waiting for my period at this point I think?!

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am feeling better in general about things at the moment. Not sure still what the heck is going on with my cycle, but feel like AF may be on her way and that would be very exciting.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope!

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why? That is so hard, I'm not really a clothes person but I do love some purses so someone with a ton like a Kardashian maybe.

mhamik · June 2019

@kagesstarshroom - that is SO hard. money is a tough conversation to begin with, and then add in everything that goes along with each of those bills and saying that about having a baby rn would upset me too! I hope things are better today.

@EmilyLove25 - congrats on the first TWW al! that would be exciting, love your optimism!

@ejoseph16 - fingers crossed for you this cycle!!

@tyrion_ - hugs, totally get milestone bummers.

emeraldduchess · June 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 early miscarriage at 5 weeks in December

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am doing pretty well this week, despite being in the TWW. Not much as far as BSC, but that'll probably start if I get past 9dpo without spotting. *TW*

I got an invite to my cousin's baby shower and I didn't get teary or sad, nor am I dreading it. I may feel less excited if this cycle is another bust, but I am looking forward to seeing her (she lives across the country) and celebrating with my family.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? DH has his SA this week. I hope he can get the clinic to call him with results so that we'll at least know something. It's been a month since our initial appointment, I've had multiple blood draws, but I know absolutely nothing. The doctor is waiting for all the initial screening before following up.

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why? Definitely Kate Middleton. I love her style, even thought I have absolutely no reason to wear all those coat-dresses and fascinators.

tyrion_ · June 2019

@emeraldduchess I almost said Kate but I was honest with myself. I hate real bras and clothes so that would be unrealistic. I’m glad you aren’t dreading your cousin’s event and I hope this cycle is it for you!

Edit: so many spelling errors

emeraldduchess · June 2019

@ejoseph16 woohoo for O and a positive attitude! I hear you on needing a break from OPKs. I am very happy to be on summer break and don't have to try to sneak in testing during my lunchtime!

@kagesstarshroom I am so, so sorry about all the financial stress. Before I got my current teaching job I was a per-diem building sub for two years, so the summer was really tough. Worrying about $$ kept me up at night. I hope you can find something to ease the strain soon.

@EmilyLove25 yay TWW! Do you follow the blog What Kate Wore? Sometimes they have tips on where to buy similar pieces (they call them "relpi-kates...HA) for a fraction of the price. There's one for Princes George, Louis and Princess Charlotte too.

@tyrion_ milestones are always tough. Sometimes emotion still hits me out of nowhere, too. Hugs to you.

@mhamik I hope AF shows soon so that you can move forward!

emeraldduchess · June 2019

Thanks, @tyrion_

I live in yoga pants when I'm not at work, but I do like to dress up once in while and Kate's style is my fave.
Edit: spelling

kagesstarshroom · June 2019

@tyrion_ I am really trying not to have guilt; it's so hard! I appreciate your beginning-of-a-new-cycle optimism. It's a good place in the cycle to be, IMO.

@mhamik I hope yr instincts about AF are right! That would put you & @tyrion_ on a similar path. I don't love purses, but I DO love coats, which I feel like is...similar somehow? But different bc... It's one of the sad things for me living in Louisiana-- there's very little coat weather. It's always purse weather!

@emeraldduchess Thanks for the well wishes re: the money stuff. It's truly been bumming me out--esp. bc it'll be the first and then the billing cycle starts all over. I'd love to win some sort of "We'll Pay Your Bills for a Month!" lottery. That would be so freaking great. I hope you get those test/blood draw results soon.

hanshotfirst77 · June 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Two back to back MMC's, 2/19 and 6/19

Status: Benched - waiting on testing

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

I am majorly on the struggle bus. My D&C may have been incomplete. Last week I passed a very large piece of tissue/clot and I went back to my RE and he told me that he may have erred on the side of caution cause my uterus was so soft and thinks he did not get "enough". He has assured me that he did remove the baby and that was sent off for testing but my lining is still super thick and U/S showed a whole bunch of clots. So I ended up having to take a dose of Misoprostol also. But now were not even sure that is working. So I am going back for another U/S tomorrow. And I am just like so done. Like it's bad enough I lost another baby. When will this miscarriage be over?!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Still waiting on the tissue results, also on my genetic results and hopefully tomorrow I can confirm this MC is complete and over and we can start to talk about next steps.

EmilyLove25 · June 2019

@hanshotfirst77 Sending you all the wishes that you get some good information at the US (as if any of this is good) and that the medicine did work. Unreal. Not fair that it isn't just over. I hope, hope, hope it is fully and truly over again for you very soon. Hugs.

tyrion_ · June 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I am so sorry this process is dragging on. I really hope the medicine worked and tomorrow confirms your miscarriage is over.

ruby696 · June 2019

@hanshotfirst77 sending so all the love and hugs. I had retained tissue with my last month and it was horrible. It's so frustrating and you can't even begin to move on. If you need to talk, you're welcome to PM me.

shamrocandroll · June 2019

This week has been complete hell, so I don't have time to do tags or give a real TTCAL update, but I just wanted to stop in and say I'm lurking and supporting you ladies!

shamrocandroll · June 2019

And extra special "thinking of you" and hugs to @hanshotfirst77

tyrion_ · June 2019

@shamrocandroll I really hope things start looking up. Sorry it’s been so rough on you lately.

kagesstarshroom · June 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I am so sorry that the process feels like it is being dragged out. I feel like one of the reasons we chose the d&c was because it seemed like it would help put everything behind us more quickly--so I imagine if that was also a factor for your reason, it's a big let down. Please update us after the u/s tomorrow if you feel like you can. Even though we have never met IRL, I'm sending you a big virtual hug & hope that you can find some peace sooner rather than later.

@shamrocandroll Thank youuu--thinking of you, too, this week, even though you are not around as much.

emeraldduchess · June 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I am sorry that you're struggling so much. It's so unfair. I hope that your U/S shows that the MC is complete and that the testing can give you some answers.
@shamrocandroll lots of hugs to you. I'm sorry things are so tough right now. 💚

chichiphin · June 2019

I haven't been a great TTCAL participant, but I do want to say @hanshotfirst77 that effing sucks and I am so sorry you have to keep going through this. I really hope this is all you have to do and you can move forward.

NYTino24 · June 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

NMC at 7w6d in 1/17, BO diagnosed today at 7w

Status: benched

How are things going? Waiting for rhogam shot. It always burns!

What is something that you are struggling with this week? *TW LO mentioned* today is DS’s last day of daycare and I’m hoping that this MC goes fast because I need to take care of him. A lot of our major life decisions kind of hinge on having a baby (selling, moving, job)

What is going well for you this week? R/R? Keeping it together so far. Saw two pregnant ladies at the OB and two more at the hospital lab. Just trying to think of the babies as miracles and hopefully I’ll be lucky to have one of my own in the future.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just did HCG. It was under 700 with my first loss, so I’m assuming this is even lower and will hopefully get to 0 fast.

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why?

Nobody... I would feel so guilty wearing stuff that costs more than all of my monthly payments combined!

emeraldduchess · June 2019

@NYTino24 noooo...I am so sorry to see you here. All the hugs to you. Please be kind to yourself. 💜

shamrocandroll · June 2019

Ohhh @NYTino24 My heart just sank seeing your name here. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Big hugs. 💔

ejoseph16 · June 2019

Noooooo! @NYTino24 I’m so sorry 😩

hanshotfirst77 · June 2019

@NYTino24 I’m so sorry to see you back here. And I always felt like rhogam after MC is like adding insult to injury. Hugs!

Thank you everyone for thinking of me. I’ve been horrible at keeping up. But all your comments really do mean a lot to me. I wish my news was better but it’s not.

It's the miscarriage that never ends. Two weeks out from D&C and u/s still shows lots of clots and blood. RE wants to wait for my bloodwork to decide what to do. Either wait this out or another D&C. Last week HCG had crashed from over 50k to 4800 so I am hoping it took a major dive again this week. But I can’t do anything until I stop bleeding. Then I need another Saline sono. My 3rd in under a year, awesome. But he did say he would do it before my next AF since my cycle is so unpredictable. And after that who knows. He did say that my fetal tissue results should be in by our consult this Monday. So maybe that will at least give some answers and direction.

I just so badly want to move on already. So far this has been so much worse than my first MC. I can just feel my first due date approaching and the thought of possibly not even being able to move forward by then is really causing me anxiety. And I know I'm worrying about like way too many things that I can't control. And I do want my body to be ready. But ugh why does it have to be this hard.

NYTino24 · June 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I’m sorry it’s being such a mind F, and I’m sure the hormone crash that accompanied the HCG drop didn’t help matters. I hope you get some answers and that you’re quickly on your way to a THB.

@shamrocandroll I saw your post yesterday about your family member and it’s always something I think about as DH is a veteran and FF. In fact, he responded to an incident that didn’t go well for someone else the other day. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. I hope that services go / went okay.

AFM, it’s all new “official” news, but I was pretty confident that this was not going to work out from the first test. I’m doing okay, but you know how the whole thing goes AL. One minute you’re fine, and the next you’re not. I have been pretty open since I made our first MC public and then with our TTC struggles, so I have support IRL. It really does lift a weight off my shoulders to be able to talk freely about what I’m going through and not feel like I need to hide the pain. If you look back at love tits, I’ve been here all along rooting you ladies on. It’s sad to think that I created this thread almost 3 years ago and that so many people still need it, but I’m glad it’s providing much needed support.

I’m gonna revive the Benched / TTA thread if there is interest / probable participation. Anyone?

ruby696 · June 2019

@NYTino24 Oh no, I am so sorry. My heart sank when I saw your name back on this thread.

chichiphin · June 2019

@NYTino24 I'm so sorry. I hate seeing you back here.

kagesstarshroom · June 2019

@NYTino24 I am so sorry--the roller coaster emotions for something like what you're going thru are so real and relatable--even if you didn't think it was going to work out from the start, it doesn't matter that you felt that way, the emotions are real. I also think that it's a hugely frustrating thing for ppl going thru MCs to have to sit in waiting rooms w/ ppl who are KU. (I wonder if there are any clinics, and how many of them there are, able to do something about that so that those suffering don't have to suffer more.) I think reviving that thread is a good idea, I know we have some people here who are benched/TTA & part of this community might benefit from it. I would hope they'd be willing to participate to get it off the ground. Hugs to you.

tyrion_ · June 2019

@NYTino24 I am so so sad to see this update. I’m sorry for your loss. And sorry you’re back here.

mokay19 · June 2019

@NYTino24 I’m so sorry for your loss and I hate to see you back here! Hoping you get continued peace!
Did you say that you’re moving now, too?

puppylove8910 · June 2019

@NYTino24 I am so terribly sorry to see you back here. Sending you hugs and strength.

NYTino24 · June 2019

@mokay19 Just *talking* about putting the house on the market and moving

[Deleted User] · June 2019

So sorry to see you back here... @NYTino24 I believe at least one other person is benched at the moment, so I don't see why not revive the benched thread! (((Hugs)))

EmilyLove25 · June 2019

@NYTino24 You were a big source of knowledge for me re: this board, fertility, TTC back in the day (I want to say 2016 or early 2017). I think I lurked more then, but just want to send you well wishes. ****TW**** Glad you have someone to snuggle at home. Man oh man does loss suck. With this one, I too had a sense something wasn't right early on, which I think "helped" but don't really know. Hugs!

keikilove · June 2019

Hey friends, I'm sorry to be so sporadic with posting here. I've been totally absent from commenting on the boards this week: this new progesterone-in-oil injection crap has put me in a coma and I wake up so exhausted that all I can do is love-tit. I've been taking multiple naps per day and sweating through all my clothes & bedclothes--gross! Today I'm finally coming out of the fog so trying to participate today...

@NYTino24 I am so sorry to see you back with us, my dear. So many hugs and prayers for you. We know what you mean about being fine and then not fine. Please let us lift you up anytime you're not ok. You know we get it.

@hanshotfirst77 I am SO sorry for the ordeal you are going through right now! That is horrible. I pray that it is resolved soon and you can really begin healing. If you have many clots you may be someone who needs blood thinners for successful pregnancy (baby aspirin, Lovenox, Heparin). I know I mention this a lot on this board, but it just seems so overlooked by so many OBs. Hugs to you!

@kagesstarshroom Girl, I feel you with those financial struggles! You might remember that I mentioned this before, but two years ago I was right where you are now. It WILL get better--hang in there! I mentioned that you might want to look into tutoring if you haven't already? Check Craigslist and search Facebook for Mom/Parenting groups in your area. You can post a free ad that you're available to tutor (whatever subjects you're comfortable with). The average where I live is $35-$50 per hour. You can also work for tutoring companies who charge much more per hour and they will give you a decent cut. It's better pay than retail. Good luck! (You can also just post tutoring signs in the business school at your university for the copyediting mentioned earlier.)

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Late loss at 18 weeks, 10.18, Early loss 1.19, Chemicals 4.19, 5.19

Status: End of the TWW, pretty sure I'm out w/3 BFNs in a row.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Trying to look on the bright side: I've been getting a ton of sleep! On the other hand, I am starting to question all this treatment I'm on. The late loss pregnancy was conceived with nothing but naivete and lasted much longer than all the rest, so I'm toying with the idea of cutting out all supplements (until confirmed ovulation) and seeing what happens. But I'm already super AMA so don't want to risk losing a cycle to this somewhat ridiculous idea.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Recent bloodwork finally showed great progesterone levels with adding the injections. But I'm really bummed out that I've done them this cycle for nothing because they hurt like a m*****f****r! Praying it will all be worth it soon. Actually, not for nothing, because it's now become clear that I need the shots to raise progesterone to a decent level.

GTKY: If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who would you choose and why? Honestly, I feel like @NYTino24: I don't want a bunch of expensive clothing, can't justify it with all the people struggling in the world. But I would want a closet full of flowy paper thin clothes that also don't require a bra . Haha!

**PS: Heaven forbid any of us experiences another loss, but just in case: I don't mean to be an a-hole and stress us all out more, but please very carefully weigh your options when opting for D&C's *if you have other choices*: you may want to try to avoid things that can cause scar tissue, as that can impact chances of conceiving in the future.**

keikilove · June 2019

@kagesstarshroom You may also want to look into teaching TESOL classes (Teaching English as a Second Language) in your community. Check with colleges & community colleges.

VIPKids lets you teach English at home from your laptop on a schedule that works for you, earning about $20 per hour. You can earn more if people use your link to sign up, if you post training videos to YouTube for other teachers, etc. You can find lots of info about how it all works on YouTube. You have to be really animated; based on your writing style, you will be great at that part!

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