Question- why are so many mothers so obsessed with breastfeeding? Am I missing something? I get that breastmilk is "better" than formula...but at the expense of the mothers freedom and mental health?? A few of my friends have new babies and are killing themselves trying to breastfeed. Seeing lactation specialists ect. I don't get it. Why put so much pressure on yourself when formula is so available? Is it a personal satisfaction issue? After hearing the horror stories I'm pretty positive I'll be formula feeding my baby. I'm not about all that extra stress!
Question- why are so many mothers so obsessed with breastfeeding? Am I missing something? I get that breastmilk is "better" than formula...but at the expense of the mothers freedom and mental health?? A few of my friends have new babies and are killing themselves trying to breastfeed. Seeing lactation specialists ect. I don't get it. Why put so much pressure on yourself when formula is so available? Is it a personal satisfaction issue? After hearing the horror stories I'm pretty positive I'll be formula feeding my baby. I'm not about all that extra stress!
I think because as a mother, you want what’s best for your child. I tried to breastfeed and it didn’t work for us. It was heartbreaking. I pumped for 4 months (maybe 5) and let me tell you, no matter if your child is bottle fed or nursed. They take the same amount of time away from you. I’m also assuming that this will be your first child. We spent almost $170 on formula every month. Unless you have that money, by all means, knock yourself out. To each their own. I wouldn’t ever judge a mom who chooses which route they go. You do what works best for you.
@knottie your name is too long- t’s a personal decision on how you feed your kid. I know friends who struggle, hate it, and tough it out for a year because it’s important to them. The reason behind that importance doesn’t matter and varies by person. What matters is to them it’s important. I have friends that exclusively pump for the same reason, but for some reason or another, nursing didn’t work out.
I formula fed both my kids from the start and this one will be as well. It is expensive, there’s troubleshooting, it’s just as time consuming, it makes no difference when it comes to sleeping MOTN. DS1 was fine on regular brand name formula and ran us around $100/month. DS2 needed hypoallergenic formula because of his MPI, and that was at least double the cost each month.
You don’t need a reason to do either or both. It’s your choice, but to be blunt, no matter what you do, you will be judged by others. Nurse in public? Go find a private place- there’s a bathroom over there! You’re buying your kid a can of formula? You’re poisoning that child! You’re pumping? Why didn’t you try harder to make it work!?
just feed your damn kid how it works for you.
— after two kids, I have a lot of feels on this subject
I can say for me, it was something I've known for a long time (seriously, as a preteen probably) that BFing was something I would -neesed to- do. I don't even like DH messing with my boobs/nipples because they are NOT for his amusement. He loves that 🙄..... Anyway. I did get lucky and it came fairly easily. I know that is not the case and there are so many factors. I had a great boss who encouraged it and gave me my breaks when I returned to work. I know it may not go as easily this time around and I may not have the mental ability to power through. I had a friend who just couldn't go it. Same with my new boss. They both tried and didn't feel it benefited them or fit with their lifestyle. I find it very disappointing that women will shame and pressure one another. I always encourage my friends to try and offer my support any way I can, even if that's "convincing" them that it's okay to switch to formula (many late night texts with BFF on this subject). BUT ultimately as long as baby is thriving, who care what or how baby eats!
And as CMBT said, either way you will be judged. I was for nursing in public IN babies r us by a female employee!! But I was also praised in a crowded restaurant by older men (grandfatherly age and seemingly decent men with an older handicapped adult women, it was definitely not a praise of boob out thing and they paid very little attention to me after acknowledging). Everyone had opinions on everything and this is 1 of those ones where they think it matters at all what they think 🤷♀️😑
Question- why are so many mothers so obsessed with breastfeeding? Am I missing something? I get that breastmilk is "better" than formula...but at the expense of the mothers freedom and mental health?? A few of my friends have new babies and are killing themselves trying to breastfeed. Seeing lactation specialists ect. I don't get it. Why put so much pressure on yourself when formula is so available? Is it a personal satisfaction issue? After hearing the horror stories I'm pretty positive I'll be formula feeding my baby. I'm not about all that extra stress!
You may feel differently when your baby arrives. Don't go in with the mindset that it's super stressful and filled with horror stories. That's not always the case. A lot of people have a great, easy breastfeeding relationship. There are a lot of emotions that go into it as well that women struggle with. They struggle with thinking they won't have the same bond, opinions of others, cost of formula, etc. It's not an easy, "bamn, it didn't work out, I'm done" kinda thing for a lot of women. I didn't last longer than 6 weeks with my first due to a number of issues and it was heartbreaking for me. It was different with my 2nd. Every case and every woman is different. As mentioned above, moms will face judgement and opinions no matter what route they take. To each their own and it's important to allow that mom to have that right no matter how they end up feeding their child. Try and be understanding of what the mom is going through, listen and offer support.... that is what moms need the most.
Breastfeeding is hard until it isn't. I struggled a lot (and supplemented) with my first, and less so with my second, but once we found our groove it was way more convenient. Less bottles to wash, no running out, no expense, just pre-warmed pre-mixed milk on tap.
No matter what you choose, babies in general are stressful. Your life will make a drastic change. Choose what works for you and support other moms who are doing the same - even if their choice is different than yours.
Question- why are so many mothers so obsessed with breastfeeding? Am I missing something? I get that breastmilk is "better" than formula...but at the expense of the mothers freedom and mental health?? A few of my friends have new babies and are killing themselves trying to breastfeed. Seeing lactation specialists ect. I don't get it. Why put so much pressure on yourself when formula is so available? Is it a personal satisfaction issue? After hearing the horror stories I'm pretty positive I'll be formula feeding my baby. I'm not about all that extra stress!
There are a lot of reasons why I pushed through many many issues to have a long breastfeeding relationship. @ineedsixeggs said it best - it’s hard until it isn’t.
The biggest reason I did everything to make it work (including vastly altering my diet) is because my baby had a severe food protein allergy (called FPIES) and she couldn’t gain weight if any dairy or egg products were in my system or anything she ate. The one formula that would work for her was $1200 a month and we aren’t eligible for assistance nor did insurance cover it. You’d be surprised what lengths you will go to to ensure the health and safety of your baby.
The best plan is to figure out what works for you when it happens and to keep judgement about what other women do to yourself.
@knottie....it was a personal/emotional issue for me. It was more affordable to breastfeed and I went thru a lot of post partum anxiety after and I was scared if I stopped breastfeeding, my hormones would go even more out of whack and I would get depressed for not reaching my goal of at least a year bc I had heard of Mother’s stopping nursing and going into depression too. I got hit with mastitis pretty bad when my first baby was around 9 months but at that point I was so close and so stubborn to reaching my goal that I continued on. I learned from my oversupply/clog/mastitis issues with my first and had a way easier experience with my second. However, if you choose to formula feed or pump and bottle feed your baby, it’s none of my business and I’m not going to judge you as a mother. Your baby is happy and is fed either way so continue on momma! Again, my decision to breastfeed was total personal decision and I’m proud of myself for what I’ve done with it as a personal accomplishment and goal bc I worked my butt off to do that for my kids bc it was what I wanted to do. I hope to do the same for this next baby, but if it doesn’t work out, then we will formula feed or pump and bottle feed. However the baby needs to get fed is how we will feed the baby.
For probably 6 weeks I curled my toes in pain almost every time I fed my son. I was determined, prior to birth, to breastfeed until 1 year but had I not had postpartum anxiety about my son’s health I probably would’ve given up. In the end he nursed until he was 21 months and I’m so happy with my decision. I personally think breastfeeding is worth a try, but I certainly don’t judge anyone who formula feeds from day one, exclusively pumps or tries breastfeeding and ends up switching. Being a mom is hard. So my (unsolicited?) advice is to do what you feel is best and don’t judge the decisions others make because we’re all just trying to figure this out as we go! Supporting other moms is so important.
Question- why are so many mothers so obsessed with breastfeeding? Am I missing something? I get that breastmilk is "better" than formula...but at the expense of the mothers freedom and mental health?? A few of my friends have new babies and are killing themselves trying to breastfeed. Seeing lactation specialists ect. I don't get it. Why put so much pressure on yourself when formula is so available? Is it a personal satisfaction issue? After hearing the horror stories I'm pretty positive I'll be formula feeding my baby. I'm not about all that extra stress!
I’m going to be a bit less nice in answering this one, because I didn’t find this question to be very sincere (ie saying mothers are “obsessed” and wondering whether they BF for “personal satisfaction” is very judgmental). There are a lot of reasons mothers want to breastfeed. You’ve been given many in these responses. You could also try reading a book or taking a class if you honestly want to learn about the benefits. If you think hearing tales of breastfeeding woes are “horror stories” and too stressful, then you may need a wake up call about motherhood in general. L&D is a lot more horrific (and is actually life threatening!) than breastfeeding and yet women do it because it’s worth all the risks to them. Sleep deprivation, PPD, reflux, colic, asthma, allergic reactions and countless other health issues parents deal with are very stressful. And like others mentioned, Formula feeding is also not stress-free and full of freedom as you may think it is. How to feed your baby is very personal. Please stop judging other mothers before you’ve even become one. Most are just trying to do the very best they can for their families.
Question- why are so many mothers so obsessed with breastfeeding? Am I missing something? I get that breastmilk is "better" than formula...but at the expense of the mothers freedom and mental health?? A few of my friends have new babies and are killing themselves trying to breastfeed. Seeing lactation specialists ect. I don't get it. Why put so much pressure on yourself when formula is so available? Is it a personal satisfaction issue? After hearing the horror stories I'm pretty positive I'll be formula feeding my baby. I'm not about all that extra stress!
I’m going to be a bit less nice in answering this one, because I didn’t find this question to be very sincere (ie saying mothers are “obsessed” and wondering whether they BF for “personal satisfaction” is very judgmental). There are a lot of reasons mothers want to breastfeed. You’ve been given many in these responses. You could also try reading a book or taking a class if you honestly want to learn about the benefits. If you think hearing tales of breastfeeding woes are “horror stories” and too stressful, then you may need a wake up call about motherhood in general. L&D is a lot more horrific (and is actually life threatening!) than breastfeeding and yet women do it because it’s worth all the risks to them. Sleep deprivation, PPD, reflux, colic, asthma, allergic reactions and countless other health issues parents deal with are very stressful. And like others mentioned, Formula feeding is also not stress-free and full of freedom as you may think it is. How to feed your baby is very personal. Please stop judging other mothers before you’ve even become one. Most are just trying to do the very best they can for their families.
I did not read this question as sincere either. Or, maybe a better way to put it, I read it as a sincere attempt to stir the pot from a rando.
I absolutely love all of the responses to the most recent question. The ladies here are so supportive and I see their responses as a pack leader just trying to keep the peace in the pack by explaining the thoughts and feelings behind why someone may feel one way or another. I'm so glad I have you ladies with me on this journey.
Hear hear ladies! I read that post last night and had to do my best to ignore it and not post a snarky response. Especially the line of "seeing lactation specialists, etc" as women killing themselves. Not to mention, these randos never come back to read the responses given anyway. Regardless, I was glad to read the other mama responses because I felt they were more geared toward the community, as if one of our regulars had politely asked the question. All the responses were very informative, I think, for the FTM's as well as the STM's who may be questioning where they stand on the issue. So for that, thank you ladies very much!
Me: 41 / Fiance: 35 + One DS, one dog & two kitties...
First BFP: 1/17/16 = EDD 9/21/16 (MMC)
Second BFP: 6/24/16 (CP)
Third BFP: 2/7/17 = EDD 10/20/17 🌈 *** BORN 10/23 *** 🌈
mrsinterweb - Not judging moms who breastfeed! Just wondering why it was so important to them. I don't have a baby yet so I don't understand. Just genuine curiosity!
mrsinterweb - Not judging moms who breastfeed! Just wondering why it was so important to them. I don't have a baby yet so I don't understand. Just genuine curiosity!
I think the ladies above all gave you great answers to your question. As you can see each mother has her own ideas and opinions. Everyone of them are doing what they think is best and I believe that’s the key. I’m sure you’ll do the same.
mrsinterweb - Not judging moms who breastfeed! Just wondering why it was so important to them. I don't have a baby yet so I don't understand. Just genuine curiosity!
A google search on benefits of breastfeeding will give you a ton of info into why it might be important to them. For me personally (aside from the health benefits), these are the reasons I breastfed:
* It’s free, and I’m frugal 🤷♀️ * I was lucky in that it was a smooth journey for me. Once my milk came in, I was able to BF and pump without issues the first year. * I liked not have to pack bottles or worry about running out of formula. I had what I needed on-tap. * I enjoyed doing it. It was a special time for both me and baby, which I find hard to put into words exactly. * Pumping at work helped with my transition back to the workplace after leave. It was dedicated time for me to think about baby and do something for him even though I was away from him. It also gave my frazzled, tired brain some good breaks from the workday. *Baby had reflux and as a result nursed more often (it soothed his throat) and did not sleep through the night the first year. Nursing allowed me to comfort him easily and get him back to sleep without worrying about overfeeding.
mrsinterweb - Not judging moms who breastfeed! Just wondering why it was so important to them. I don't have a baby yet so I don't understand. Just genuine curiosity!
It varies by person. I have friends that it’s important to solely because they were told they couldn’t do it. I have others who’s kids were preemies so they did it for that. It all varies. Others didn’t want to spend the money on formula. To some, it gave them a way to bond with their child. A few I know liked being able to still provide for their child though they physically were no longer attached to them. There’s no right or wrong reason.
Feeding your kid is stressful no matter breast or bottle. I have a giant tub of bottles from DS2 that we tried and didn’t work- he would drink and proceed to have it all drool out of his mouth. Wasted hundreds of dollars trying new formulas for him when he couldn’t tolerate formula after formula, and it took 3 pediatricians to finally diagnosis his issue because he didn’t have the typical symptoms. I spent hours crying because I didn’t know why my kid spent the entire day and night screaming at me inconsolably and not knowing how to fix it and wondering why I couldn’t get him to eat, why he kept dropping percentiles. When he gave up his bottles at 9 months, we struggled getting formula into him for those last 3 months and his weight dropped.
my suggestion to you, knottie, is to read up and decide for you. The research is there and so is the raw data to form your own unbiased conclusions. There’s horror stories on both sides of this aisle, and frankly, there shouldn’t be an aisle at all. Just feed the kid an appropriate food.
Has anyone ever developed psoriasis in pregnancy? I thought I was having an eczema break out but its definitely not, it's been too long and not responding to my creams. DH has psoriasis and said it looks more like that (it's on my elbow so difficult for me to see) though I've never had it in the past. Will run it by OB on Tue but got me a lite weirded out....
mrsinterweb - Not judging moms who breastfeed! Just wondering why it was so important to them. I don't have a baby yet so I don't understand. Just genuine curiosity!
Definitely agree that your first post came off pretty judgy. A lot of moms (especially new moms) do things that might seem weird or crazy -- until your own bundle of joy arrives and knocks you off your high horse. Hopefully when that happens, you'll be surrounded by a circle of been-there moms ready to pick you up and say "welcome to the club."
NBR - does everyone use the app for the bump or the desktop version? I remember when they made the app years ago and it was still easier to get on through the website was easier. I was hoping it would be better now but it seems certain functions still don’t work. Like the back arrow when you’re in a topic, I always have to scroll down and tap “October 2019 Moms”
just wondering if anyone has these problems ℓσℓ
DD#1 December '12
DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
Married 07/09
@perfectlove09 I use the app and it’s still kind of a pain. I’ve found that I have to hold my finger on the back button for a few second or two my phone really hard.
Hey ladies, anyone with thoughts on using doulas? I went to an event and met 5 doulas this weekend, but I'm still very on the fence. I'm a FTM so everything is a mystery really.
Hey ladies, anyone with thoughts on using doulas? I went to an event and met 5 doulas this weekend, but I'm still very on the fence. I'm a FTM so everything is a mystery really.
I think some ladies here have used them in the past.
my thoughts are this- is your H going to be able to support and advocate for you or is he going to be more on the opposite side of the spectrum? For me, it’s not worth it. My H is my advocate during this process and has no issues telling the hospital staff to leave. He asks what I need and does it. I know others who’s H’s aren’t like that, and to them, having a doula supporting them makes the world of a difference.
I also think that the care provided at the hospital will make a difference— I see MWs and go to a birth center within a hospital, so they focus more on giving the mother the birth experience she is trying for (within reason) vs a more traditional hospital
@greenbean-2 thanks, I'll go check it out. Oops I hope I didn't miss an entire exchange on this topic, if I did everyone feel free to not re-write your thoughts on doulas! I'm searching now
Hey ladies, anyone with thoughts on using doulas? I went to an event and met 5 doulas this weekend, but I'm still very on the fence. I'm a FTM so everything is a mystery really.
My husband was great during both births. My labors seem to be on the faster side. I didn’t have a doula my first baby but I did my second. Even with my husband’s support it was nice having her there. She offered support in other ways we forgot about. She helped me remember I wanted to deliver on my hand and knees instead of back. She was there to give hubby a break if he needed, which is did not, she was there to help me feel better. I needed a lot of pressure put on my lower back and her and my husband were able to work on that together.
DD#1 December '12
DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
Married 07/09
@marbellie My doula was just on-call and inexpensively provided through my OB/MW office and I would have paid triple. She knew ways of physically supporting me and positioning to naturally relieve pressure/stress/pain. My husband was a great emotional support but doesn’t know anything about all of that.
I was sure I didn’t want to use an epidural so it was very valuable to me.
I have a formal wedding on June 22... need a maternity dress! Struggling with finding something appropriate that doesn't look too corporate or too casual/cheap. Any ideas other than Pea in the Pod?
I have a formal wedding on June 22... need a maternity dress! Struggling with finding something appropriate that doesn't look too corporate or too casual/cheap. Any ideas other than Pea in the Pod?
Have you looked at Amazon? They seem to have some good choices. I've also been told that Once Upon a Child has some maternity clothes, so it's possible you may find something there.
Has any STM+ had marginal placenta previa? I'm not hyper concerned at this point (the placenta is about 1.7 cm from the cervix opening, I think) as they said it usually moves as the pregnancy progresses, but I'm still curious about anyone else who may have experienced this.
I have a formal wedding on June 22... need a maternity dress! Struggling with finding something appropriate that doesn't look too corporate or too casual/cheap. Any ideas other than Pea in the Pod?
ASOS is my go-to! Free returns so you can just order and send back as much as you want!
@junebabyh I got my maternity shoot dress on PinkBlush! They're a little pricier(I hate spending a lot on clothes) but its good material, soft and they have a lot of styles!!
With the breast feeding question, I love the answers many of you gave!!! So glad to see that there's a broad range here, and no one is judgy or rude about either! I'm pro breastfeeding entirely, so long as the health of the baby and mom are top priority. I let pride get the best of me with DS and didn't ask for help pumping, so I barely produced because I didn't have a good schedule or system. Not to mention huge lack of support from both families. We did 1/2 and 1/2, he had formula when he was with anyone but me. It was hell hell trying to figure out a formula to give him to not upset his stomach from the switching and I was terrified to tell WIC because I figured theyd be mad I was potentially giving up. (Which was another pride issue and totally not the case at all. Wish I had known then, would have saved money in formula!) We bf'd for almost 14 months and then I gave in til DD was born. DD went nearly 18 months! Little did I know she has a lactose allergy and that's what was causing her eczema to be so bad, on top of me eating eggs and drinking dairy. So when she quit finding a dairy supplement was hell 😔 this baby I'd like to get to 2 years. Mainly because I have much better knowledge (I want to go to school specifically to be a lactation consultant one day) and because it's cheaper in the long run( I have to finish getting spare parts and a new tote since mine ripped 😭), healthier in my opinion and personally much better for sleep to me. Breast sleep is one of the best things I've ever done(safely of course).
It really is a personal decision. One you can come to quite easily with reading, classes and research. Don't just rely on someone you knows story because everyone is very different. Hell even between kids is different!
Has any STM+ had marginal placenta previa? I'm not hyper concerned at this point (the placenta is about 1.7 cm from the cervix opening, I think) as they said it usually moves as the pregnancy progresses, but I'm still curious about anyone else who may have experienced this.
I did with DS1. They called it a “low lying placenta,” at that time (perhaps terms have changed), where the placenta was less than 2 cm from the cervical opening. Only thing they did was check the location via a growth scan in 3rd tri. Over 90% will move out of that 2cm range as pregnancy progresses
Re: The Great Question Thread
I formula fed both my kids from the start and this one will be as well. It is expensive, there’s troubleshooting, it’s just as time consuming, it makes
no difference when it comes to sleeping MOTN. DS1 was fine on regular brand name formula and ran us around $100/month. DS2 needed hypoallergenic formula because of his MPI, and that was at least double the cost each month.
You don’t need a reason to do either or both. It’s your choice, but to be blunt, no matter what you do, you will be judged by others. Nurse in public? Go find a private place- there’s a bathroom over there! You’re buying your kid a can of formula? You’re poisoning that child! You’re pumping? Why didn’t you try harder to make it work!?
just feed your damn kid how it works for you.
— after two kids, I have a lot of feels on this subject
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I can say for me, it was something I've known for a long time (seriously, as a preteen probably) that BFing was something I would -neesed to- do. I don't even like DH messing with my boobs/nipples because they are NOT for his amusement. He loves that 🙄..... Anyway. I did get lucky and it came fairly easily. I know that is not the case and there are so many factors. I had a great boss who encouraged it and gave me my breaks when I returned to work. I know it may not go as easily this time around and I may not have the mental ability to power through. I had a friend who just couldn't go it. Same with my new boss. They both tried and didn't feel it benefited them or fit with their lifestyle. I find it very disappointing that women will shame and pressure one another. I always encourage my friends to try and offer my support any way I can, even if that's "convincing" them that it's okay to switch to formula (many late night texts with BFF on this subject). BUT ultimately as long as baby is thriving, who care what or how baby eats!
And as CMBT said, either way you will be judged. I was for nursing in public IN babies r us by a female employee!! But I was also praised in a crowded restaurant by older men (grandfatherly age and seemingly decent men with an older handicapped adult women, it was definitely not a praise of boob out thing and they paid very little attention to me after acknowledging). Everyone had opinions on everything and this is 1 of those ones where they think it matters at all what they think 🤷♀️😑
No matter what you choose, babies in general are stressful. Your life will make a drastic change. Choose what works for you and support other moms who are doing the same - even if their choice is different than yours.
The biggest reason I did everything to make it work (including vastly altering my diet) is because my baby had a severe food protein allergy (called FPIES) and she couldn’t gain weight if any dairy or egg products were in my system or anything she ate. The one formula that would work for her was $1200 a month and we aren’t eligible for assistance nor did insurance cover it. You’d be surprised what lengths you will go to to ensure the health and safety of your baby.
The best plan is to figure out what works for you when it happens and to keep judgement about what other women do to yourself.
For probably 6 weeks I curled my toes in pain almost every time I fed my son. I was determined, prior to birth, to breastfeed until 1 year but had I not had postpartum anxiety about my son’s health I probably would’ve given up. In the end he nursed until he was 21 months and I’m so happy with my decision. I personally think breastfeeding is worth a try, but I certainly don’t judge anyone who formula feeds from day one, exclusively pumps or tries breastfeeding and ends up switching. Being a mom is hard. So my (unsolicited?) advice is to do what you feel is best and don’t judge the decisions others make because we’re all just trying to figure this out as we go! Supporting other moms is so important.
I’m going to be a bit less nice in answering this one, because I didn’t find this question to be very sincere (ie saying mothers are “obsessed” and wondering whether they BF for “personal satisfaction” is very judgmental). There are a lot of reasons mothers want to breastfeed. You’ve been given many in these responses. You could also try reading a book or taking a class if you honestly want to learn about the benefits. If you think hearing tales of breastfeeding woes are “horror stories” and too stressful, then you may need a wake up call about motherhood in general. L&D is a lot more horrific (and is actually life threatening!) than breastfeeding and yet women do it because it’s worth all the risks to them. Sleep deprivation, PPD, reflux, colic, asthma, allergic reactions and countless other health issues parents deal with are very stressful. And like others mentioned, Formula feeding is also not stress-free and full of freedom as you may think it is. How to feed your baby is very personal. Please stop judging other mothers before you’ve even become one. Most are just trying to do the very best they can for their families.
Me 39 - DH 41
Married 8/26/07
TTGP #1 Jan '15 -
BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16
TTGP #2 July '17 -
CP July '17
Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17
CP June '18
BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19
I did not read this question as sincere either. Or, maybe a better way to put it, I read it as a sincere attempt to stir the pot from a rando.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
* It’s free, and I’m frugal 🤷♀️
* I was lucky in that it was a smooth journey for me. Once my milk came in, I was able to BF and pump without issues the first year.
* I liked not have to pack bottles or worry about running out of formula. I had what I needed on-tap.
* I enjoyed doing it. It was a special time for both me and baby, which I find hard to put into words exactly.
* Pumping at work helped with my transition back to the workplace after leave. It was dedicated time for me to think about baby and do something for him even though I was away from him. It also gave my frazzled, tired brain some good breaks from the workday.
*Baby had reflux and as a result nursed more often (it soothed his throat) and did not sleep through the night the first year. Nursing allowed me to comfort him easily and get him back to sleep without worrying about overfeeding.
Me 39 - DH 41
Married 8/26/07
TTGP #1 Jan '15 -
BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16
TTGP #2 July '17 -
CP July '17
Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17
CP June '18
BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19
Feeding your kid is stressful no matter breast or bottle. I have a giant tub of bottles from DS2 that we tried and didn’t work- he would drink and proceed to have it all drool out of his mouth. Wasted hundreds of dollars trying new formulas for him when he couldn’t tolerate formula after formula, and it took 3 pediatricians to finally diagnosis his issue because he didn’t have the typical symptoms. I spent hours crying because I didn’t know why my kid spent the entire day and night screaming at me inconsolably and not knowing how to fix it and wondering why I couldn’t get him to eat, why he kept dropping percentiles. When he gave up his bottles at 9 months, we struggled getting formula into him for those last 3 months and his weight dropped.
my suggestion to you, knottie, is to read up and decide for you. The research is there and so is the raw data to form your own unbiased conclusions. There’s horror stories on both sides of this aisle, and frankly, there shouldn’t be an aisle at all. Just feed the kid an appropriate food.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
just wondering if anyone has these problems ℓσℓ
DD#1 December '12
DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
Married 07/09
my thoughts are this- is your H going to be able to support and advocate for you or is he going to be more on the opposite side of the spectrum? For me, it’s not worth it. My H is my advocate during this process and has no issues telling the hospital staff to leave. He asks what I need and does it. I know others who’s H’s aren’t like that, and to them, having a doula supporting them makes the world of a difference.
I also think that the care provided at the hospital will make a difference— I see MWs and go to a birth center within a hospital, so they focus more on giving the mother the birth experience she is trying for (within reason) vs a more traditional hospital
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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@greenbean-2 thanks, I'll go check it out. Oops I hope I didn't miss an entire exchange on this topic, if I did everyone feel free to not re-write your thoughts on doulas! I'm searching now
DD#1 December '12
DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
Married 07/09
I was sure I didn’t want to use an epidural so it was very valuable to me.
With the breast feeding question, I love the answers many of you gave!!! So glad to see that there's a broad range here, and no one is judgy or rude about either! I'm pro breastfeeding entirely, so long as the health of the baby and mom are top priority. I let pride get the best of me with DS and didn't ask for help pumping, so I barely produced because I didn't have a good schedule or system. Not to mention huge lack of support from both families. We did 1/2 and 1/2, he had formula when he was with anyone but me. It was hell hell trying to figure out a formula to give him to not upset his stomach from the switching and I was terrified to tell WIC because I figured theyd be mad I was potentially giving up. (Which was another pride issue and totally not the case at all. Wish I had known then, would have saved money in formula!)
We bf'd for almost 14 months and then I gave in til DD was born. DD went nearly 18 months! Little did I know she has a lactose allergy and that's what was causing her eczema to be so bad, on top of me eating eggs and drinking dairy. So when she quit finding a dairy supplement was hell 😔 this baby I'd like to get to 2 years. Mainly because I have much better knowledge (I want to go to school specifically to be a lactation consultant one day) and because it's cheaper in the long run( I have to finish getting spare parts and a new tote since mine ripped 😭), healthier in my opinion and personally much better for sleep to me. Breast sleep is one of the best things I've ever done(safely of course).
It really is a personal decision. One you can come to quite easily with reading, classes and research. Don't just rely on someone you knows story because everyone is very different. Hell even between kids is different!
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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