Yeah...wow is kind of what I’m stuck on right now. I’m glad I have the weekend to stew on it and make sure I have the right things prepared to say when we talk again...cause I’m pretty sure saying “what the actual f*ck?!” Is not going to get the desired response. My husband and I have discussed what it would take to make it so I could quit and stay home with baby while she’s tiny-which we would both much prefer....this may be the fuel we needed to be added to that fire. We shall see!
@thirdtimesacharm2019 exactly! Especially considering I know exactly what money flows in and out of the office. It’s a lucrative practice to say the least. With a minimal amount of overhead. I’m one of only three employees....the words ‘maxed out’ keep playing over in my head and making me boil 😡
I don’t know if this is bitchfest or TMI... but my feet are SO swollen! I have one pair of “nice looking flip flop type sandals” and another pair of “slightly nicer sandals” that go behind the ankle. That’s all that currently fits other than the cheapie flip flops I wear on the weekends. The wore the slightly nicer pair today and I want to take them off under my desk, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to get them back on to walk to the car. Guess I’m down to one pair of “work shoes” because I refuse to buy new shoes until I know what size I’m going to land in. I wouldn’t even buy new shoes while TTC because I didn’t want to outgrow them with in the year.
@emqbee HECK TO THE NO. That is what happened to DH at his previously place of employment. He was maxed out from the beginning because he came with a decade of experience, multiple certs, licenses and everything anyone could ask for. He didn't even bother moving his 401k over because they offered garbage, health insurance was trash, no vacation pay, nothing. Meanwhile the bosses and their families are buying brand new trucks and trailers, spending money like its no big deal while their employees live in poverty. He stayed for 3 years until he found a company that would pay him what he is worth with room to grow, as well as a heaping helping of bonuses. Its so much better now!
Its nice that they think you do good work but you can do that good work anywhere else and be compensated for it. I'm insulted for you that they had the nerve to praise you and then offer you nothing.
@agpandme thank you! That’s encouraging to know your husband found something much better! Where he’s compensated AND appreciated. That’s what I thought I was getting into with this job when I took it, with the understanding that it’s smaller private practice so not necessarily huge spaces for advancement. I feel like they played it up for me to get me in the door and now I’m seeing how things really are. It definitely feels like a slap in the face to hear the compliments, not even officially sitting down for the review yet, and then bring up financials(or lack there of) and just skate over it.
@emqbee WHA! I will NEVER understand companies who claim they truly value employees but underpay them/give no benefits, and then wonder why these valuable people leave?! That irks me to no end.
@flagchic I don't understand it either. Everyone is replaceable I guess.
At DHs previous workplace they are one of the largest employers in the area (very small area) so in their 40 years of business they were use to people lining up at the gate to get a job when the season started (logging). Unfortunately they did not adjust with the times and what use to be a good paying job became a back breaker with no benefits. After my husband left, the wife of the owner was calling our friends that did similar work asking if they wanted to work at that company. They all said NO because they knew that it wouldn't have been a step up. Its nice flashy big name company with nice equipment and a big fancy facility but on the inside, their employees are unhappy.
@cato99 I am full time. Full time salary. I was told when I was hired there were no health benefits. Then low and behold, when I told them I was pregnant and they knew I was trying to figure out health coverage/drs/hospital, out comes the policy the owners are signed on for along with one of my coworkers. They acted like they were doing me a huge favor by finding out if I could get signed up for it under ‘special circumstances’ and then gave me the info and it was almost $700 a month for just me. I laughed. And I’m still a little bitter that they know exactly what I make and acted like it was awesome that I could sign on to that plan.
In case anyone was itching for an update: less than 24 hrs in to the "family" vacation, I'm considering packing all our shit up and going home. It's been awful and I'm absolutely stressed out. DH is being a trooper, but he's about ready to go, too. I'm going to give it until this afternoon before I 100% decide, but ... I just can't with all this stress. I had a dream last night that I had to stab myself to come up with a reason to leave - and this was after I had been yelling and screaming in the dream before that moment. Ugh. Why are some grandparents so awesome and some just nightmares? I never thought my mom would be this way, yet here we are.
**History in Spoiler**
Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10 Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil) ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day) FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok) FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
The online check in won't let us change our seats for tomorrow. 7 rows apart, window seats on opposite sides of a 10-across plane. Ugh.
It's basically the worst set up for 2 adults, 1 pregnant and 1 with a lap toddler and the lap toddler has alleries so we were planning on having a clean buffer between him and unsafe food and contaminated surfaces. He's had hives and swelling from a seemingly clean coffee table before, so it's not just touching the actual food that is an issue or I wouldn't be as bothered. But if the person beside us eats anything with milk as an ingredient (chocolate, sandwich, cheese, cookie, doritos,...you get the idea) and then touches the arm rest between us before washing with soap and water for example we will have to re clean it or my son will certainly get hives and become a cranky itch monster I hope they can change our seats tomorrow or we have compassionate co travelers who will let us sit together on the aisle. Otherwise we are going to be constantly climbing over them to trade who has DS, for cleaning after food goes around (ds), for peeing and stretching (me).
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@mamak225 Could you leave DH and the kids and go home by yourself for a few days? Sorry it’s not a good vacation. I’m really looking forward to ours in two weeks, but a little apprehensive because of sleeping (or not) and getting tired really easy.
@thirdtimesacharm2019 - It wouldn't be fair to DH to leave him here, but I did consider it!
@BigBadWolf12 - FX that you get a great traveling neighbor and things go smoothly, I can't imagine how hard that is to deal with!!
Decided to stick it out the day and things are getting better, I think the key is to have zero expectations for them to want to do anything with us (which is ok) and just make sure we're having a good time. I think we'll stick it out until Wednesday, then go back and send DD1 back to school for Thurs & Fri and use those days to (finally!) set up the nursery and have a mini-staycation/babymoon of a few private lunches, adult pool time, and enjoy each other's company. Feeling much better about it.
**History in Spoiler**
Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10 Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil) ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day) FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok) FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
@MamaK225 That sounds like a great plan. I hope you guys can enjoy the last couple of days, even if you're spending them doing your own thing!
@BigBadWolf12 Good luck! Hopefully customer service will give you all some grace. That's a horrible seating arrangement, and surely after explaining the situation they'll understand. DH and I never reserve our seats when we fly internationally due to the extra charge, but we're always still seated next to each other.
Unrelated: My complaint is the damn TB app. I can't love tit or respond to anything from the app, so I only have access from my desktop at work or on the unusual occasion I pull out the iPad and open TB in Safari.
@mamak225 I hope today is a better day. @BigBadWolf12 good luck with the flight. I hope someone will switch with you. Food Allergies with little kids are the worst.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@oklahomak we'll be working on the migration this week. Hang in there. Mines been sucking the last few days and my work network just blocked it. Booooooo
@sourlemon Sorry, I didn't mean that to rush you ladies! I was just trying to respond to something on Saturday and was frustrated that I couldn't. That super sucks about your work network. Thankfully TB is still open on mine.
@AKuzReve@MamaK225@Oklahomak@wabash15 thanks! We've always just chosen seats at 24 hour online checkin. I can't think of a time when we've been given separate seats or a time that we haven't been able to change the automated ones at the online check in...somehow we got both on this one? Anyways, they changed our seats at the airport in like 5 seconds. Aisle seat together in the middle group of 4 (3-4-3 set up) so that was great. AND the person at the other end of our group of 4 had booked 2 seats for the extra arm/seat room and didn't mind us overflowing a bit onto the extra seat, using the extra tray, and even let us put DS's food bag under the extra seat's foot storage. YAY.
DS was a champ and traveled so well. Wiping everything wipeable on board in our seats and giving antihistamines before the flight helped. Last summer he looked like he had been beat up by the end of the journey his face was so red, patchy, and swollen but this time he only got itchy on his neck and legs. So I call that a win.
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@BigBadWolf12 just as a warning when the new baby comes if you are flying while DS can be an "infant in arms" that you can't have 2 "infant in arms" in the same half row... there are not enough oxygen masks... so you can be across the isle from each other or in front/back but not all together... It was a hard lesson when we were traveling early with the twins...
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
My Tuesday BF is the elevator at work is broken. I work on the 3rd floor. I’m so out of breath by the time I’m at my desk I may not ever go downstairs again 😆
@wabash15 good to know! This is ds's last trip as a lap baby - he's 2 in September. But someone else seeing your comment might benefit. Thanks for the heads up!
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
My quick BF: the property I work at has tons of hills and stairs. A Condo owner needs to shut off water to his unit to do a plumbing repair. There's one water main per two/three buildings, so for one person to need it shut off, we have to notify 32-48 resident's worth with notices on their door of the shut off. I was notified there needs to be a shut off Thursday, so 48 notices need to go out today.
I wore heels today. It looks rainy out. I don't have co-workers who could help with the notice delivery. Looks like it's all me! Every time this happens I get more and more winded and swollen from the process.
Re: weekly bitchfest
Its nice that they think you do good work but you can do that good work anywhere else and be compensated for it. I'm insulted for you that they had the nerve to praise you and then offer you nothing.
It definitely feels like a slap in the face to hear the compliments, not even officially sitting down for the review yet, and then bring up financials(or lack there of) and just skate over it.
At DHs previous workplace they are one of the largest employers in the area (very small area) so in their 40 years of business they were use to people lining up at the gate to get a job when the season started (logging). Unfortunately they did not adjust with the times and what use to be a good paying job became a back breaker with no benefits. After my husband left, the wife of the owner was calling our friends that did similar work asking if they wanted to work at that company. They all said NO because they knew that it wouldn't have been a step up. Its nice flashy big name company with nice equipment and a big fancy facility but on the inside, their employees are unhappy.
Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
It's basically the worst set up for 2 adults, 1 pregnant and 1 with a lap toddler and the lap toddler has alleries so we were planning on having a clean buffer between him and unsafe food and contaminated surfaces. He's had hives and swelling from a seemingly clean coffee table before, so it's not just touching the actual food that is an issue or I wouldn't be as bothered. But if the person beside us eats anything with milk as an ingredient (chocolate, sandwich, cheese, cookie, doritos,...you get the idea) and then touches the arm rest between us before washing with soap and water for example we will have to re clean it or my son will certainly get hives and become a cranky itch monster
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@mamak225, many hugs! I hope it improves or you can leave soon. I’m sorry you’re vacation is not going well because of people.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@BigBadWolf12 - FX that you get a great traveling neighbor and things go smoothly, I can't imagine how hard that is to deal with!!
Decided to stick it out the day and things are getting better, I think the key is to have zero expectations for them to want to do anything with us (which is ok) and just make sure we're having a good time. I think we'll stick it out until Wednesday, then go back and send DD1 back to school for Thurs & Fri and use those days to (finally!) set up the nursery and have a mini-staycation/babymoon of a few private lunches, adult pool time, and enjoy each other's company. Feeling much better about it.
Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
@BigBadWolf12 Good luck! Hopefully customer service will give you all some grace. That's a horrible seating arrangement, and surely after explaining the situation they'll understand. DH and I never reserve our seats when we fly internationally due to the extra charge, but we're always still seated next to each other.
@BigBadWolf12 good luck with the flight. I hope someone will switch with you. Food Allergies with little kids are the worst.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
DS was a champ and traveled so well. Wiping everything wipeable on board in our seats and giving antihistamines before the flight helped. Last summer he looked like he had been beat up by the end of the journey his face was so red, patchy, and swollen
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
I wore heels today. It looks rainy out. I don't have co-workers who could help with the notice delivery. Looks like it's all me! Every time this happens I get more and more winded and swollen from the process.