PGAL w/o 5/29

kbrown2385 · May 2019

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL). If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation.

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you!

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer?

kbrown2385 · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 6 weeks

2. Previous loss(es)? 6 losses. 12/13, 1/17, 11/17, 4/18, 9/18, 2/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I’m going crazy. My anxiety has been ramping up the past few days. Physically my symptoms are all over the place. The only consistent ones are fatigue, sore bobs and decreased appetite. I’ve had nausea and cramping on and off.

4. Any appointment updates? Viability scan today 😬

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Hoping so hard for a heartbeat today. I don’t have a good track record so really hoping this is it.

6. Any milestones coming up? Viability scan

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? The smell of summer. All the flowers, grills cooking food, pools, campfires, sunblock, the sun/rain etc. I love it all and it makes me happy.

hanshotfirst77 · May 2019

@kbrown2385 omg it’s today! Fx so hard for both of us!!! When is your appt?

1. How many weeks are you? 6w4d

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 2/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I am a mess. I’m happy I’m sad. Physically symptoms come and go in waves but sore boobs, headaches and some rlp ish stuff seems consistent the most.

4. Any appointment updates? Today is my 1st scan!

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I’m really nervous for my scan. This is the exact same time in the PG I went for my first scan during my loss pregnancy and that did not go well. So I am just hoping and praying that there is a healthy strong baby and HB.

6. Any milestones coming up? Today’s scan.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? I’m not the biggest summer fan. I hate the heat and I’m not a huge outside person. I much prefer fall and winter. But I do like swimming and bbqs and going to water parks.

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@hanshotfirst77 10am! I’m freaking out and trying to do some deep breathing to relax. When is yours? I’ve got everything crossed for us!!

edit wasn’t finiished

hanshotfirst77 · May 2019

@kbrown2385 ahh you’re so close! Mine isn’t until 2:30 it will be an agonizingly long day. I’ve been doing affirmations all last night and this morning. Trying to will myself into positive thinking.

biolprof · May 2019

@kbrown2385 and @hanshotfirst77 I've got everything crossed for both of you!

1. How many weeks are you? 6wks?

2. Previous loss(es)? 12/18, 4/19 (CP)

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I had to run to the bathroom in fear of vommiting in between advising appointments yesterday. Kind of worried about teaching class today.. I never had nausea this intense in my last pregnancy so it has put my PGAL brain at ease a bit. Still 2 weeks before my first scan.... So long!

4. Any appointment updates? Met with an endocrinologist who confirmed my OBs strategy which was comforting. Scan isn't until June 11.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? After loss, when have people decided to tell people?

6. Any milestones coming up? Every day feels like a milestone.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Eating dinner in the sun!

MollySm · May 2019

My fingers are crossed for your appointments today, ladies!!!! Check back and update us when you can!

1. How many weeks are you? 6w 2d

2. Previous loss(es)? Blighted ovum between my first two daughters

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I caught a stomach bug from my kids, so I am feeling pretty terrible. For my pregnancy nausea I need to eat, for my sickness nausea, I need to not eat. Things are not going well. Emotionally I know it's fine to be sick, but of course it doesn't feel that way. I am worried about baby.

4. Any appointment updates? My first appt isn't until 7/2. So far away!

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rant, rant, rant about this stupid sickness. I am on day 3 and still feel like I was hit by a truck.

6. Any milestones coming up? Just waiting on the appointment.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Having the kids home from school to do things together that we can't during the school year.

motherof3dragons · May 2019

Good luck to everyone who has appointments today!!

1. How many weeks are you? 6 weeks

2. Previous loss(es)? One loss at 10/11weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I go back and forth between feeling confident that everything will be ok and worrying when my nausea fades at all. Physically I'm exhausted and nauseous.. I feel like I can't keep up with everything that needs to be done around the house.

4. Any appointment updates? I have an appointment 6/4 and I'm excited to tell the boys about the pregnancy. They've been really worried because I've been so sick and tired lately!

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Preschool has ended so I have 2/3 kids home and it makes me worried about handling all 3 full time while dealing with all this first trimester stuff

6. Any milestones coming up? Nope!

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? The pool, beach, BBQs and long lazy days.. everything but the heat/humidity and the wasps!

kbrown2385 · May 2019

Scan came back spot on at 6 weeks. I had a panic attack right before the dr walked in so that was fun. We’ve always measured behind at this point so it’s reassuring things are looking good. The dr said everything is perfect and is feeling confident. Hopefully this feeling lasts for 2 weeks until we go back for the next scan. The dr did remind me that the hormones are going up and down so having symptoms on and off is normal. I will add, with all my losses I haven’t had symptoms this far along, so having any right now is reassuring to me.

ruby696 · May 2019

*lurking*

@kbrown2385 Your news made my morning. Sending happy hugs!

@hanshotfirst77 FX so hard for you my friend.

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@hanshotfirst77 can’t wait to hear! Got everything crossed for you!

ruby0902 · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you? Almost 9 weeks

2. Previous loss(es)? 1 loss, a mmc that finally resolved in Feb. 2019

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically have had nausea, sore bbs and constipation on and off. Pretty much always tired and hungry and ready for a nap! Emotionally i'm still very anxious. Even though everything appears to be progressing okay, I hate how long in between I have to wait to see real confirmation. I've only had one u/s at 7wks where everything looked okay, but now I don't have another one until June 20th! With my mmc, I had one u/s where we saw the hb, but then my follow-up one the week after there was no more hb. I'm scared that is going to happen again, even though I know this is a totally new pregnancy with new chances for success. My dr. reassured that bloodwork and everything else looked good and there's no indication of anything being wrong, so I know I need to try to distract myself and stay positive.

4. Any appointment updates? Had a prenatal checkin with my dr. this morning. He tried to find the hb using a fetal dopplar, but we couldn't hear anything. Since i'm not 9 weeks yet, he said not to worry since it's usually meant for closer to 12 weeks. He offered to bring me in next week to try again if i'm still feeling anxious, but otherwise I need to try to be patient and wait for my next u/s.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Was so happy to see your news @kbrown2385!! ♡
Also, sorry that this post is approaching a novel.

6. Any milestones coming up? Not until my next u/s!

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Longer days! I love having so much daylight, just feels like I have more time to get things done.

biolprof · May 2019

@kbrown2385 I'm so hopeful for you that this time will be it!

@ruby0902 I understand what you mean about seeing the heartbeat not being as reassuring as you would like. I'm nervous for my first U/S in the first few weeks but I'm afraid even then if everything checked out I would be nervous since I've seen a HB before. Even though we all know each one is different it is impossible to forget what you have lost. Hang in there!

laurenmicheley · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 5w6d according to u/s today

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 2/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? A nervous wreck. Since my scan last week - I've literally been hanging on by a thread until my scan today. I'm still in limbo. Physically, I feel fine which is extremely bothersome to me.

4. Any appointment updates? Had another viability scan this AM. Last week I went in expecting to be 6w1d and all we were able to see was the yolk sac and no fetus. We ran blood and my Progesterone was low at 8.1, so my Dr put me on oral. He also let me know he did not think this pregnancy was viable. I went in today ready to have the loss confirmed and discuss next steps and a path forward. At first, all he could see was the yolk sac - but then he was able to measure the fetus at 5w6d and we got a heartbeat of 110. I was hysterical at that point and have not calmed down since. I had my LMP on 4/9 and I can't understand how I can be dating so small and still have a viable pregnancy. We will have to see next week if there is growth.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I feel like I'm having a miscarriage in slow motion. I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted. I was really ready to accept this loss, but now am holding on to hope that we will have a viable pregnancy. It's just so nerve wracking.

6. Any milestones coming up? Next viability scan Weds 6/5.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Easy answer from me is going up to Newport, RI for the last weekend in July to see the Newport Folk Festival. We've gone every summer since we've gotten married and it's easily the highlight of my year.

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@laurenmicheley I’m so sorry you are dealing with all of this. It’s such a tough spot to be in. Sending you all the hugs. I’ve been in your position a few times and the wait is agonizing. Always hoping for the best ❤️.

MollySm · May 2019

@laurenmicheley - I am so sorry you are going through this. The wait is so hard. I'll be thinking of you.

hanshotfirst77 · May 2019

@kbrown2385 I am so happy to hear your scan went good! Yay!!!

@laurenmicheley I’m sorry you are in limbo. Fx so hard for you!

AFM I had my scan today and it was mostly positive.

Baby measured on track at 6w4d and HB was 116bpm. My RE said he was very happy with the scan and he confirmed my official due date of January 18th.

But he said one concern was that usually the gestational sac is more towards the center of the uterus. And from what he saw it was closer to the corner. He didn’t seem overly concerned. And I’m fairly positive there’s no way it can be ectopic as it’s in the uterus and he didn’t say anything about ectopic or miscarriage or anything. But my pgal brain is in overdrive now and I’ve never heard of this being a concern. Google hasn’t been super helpful either. But I’m trying to focus on the positive news the HB the on track growth and I guess hope that the position is either not a big deal or somehow shifts as baby and uterus grows? Idk how that works. I go back in two weeks for another scan.

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@hanshotfirst77 I’ve been on pins and needles all day waiting! I’m so glad baby looks good with a great heartbeat! Interesting about the position. I’d imagine since everything is so small it will grow and end up moving.

hanshotfirst77 · May 2019

@kbrown2385 that is what im hoping! Just another thing for me to obsess over for the next two weeks

But I will say I am thrilled to have heard the HB and hear my RE say everything is on track. Fx this is it for both of us!

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@hanshotfirst77 there is always something to obsess over 🙄. Hearing the heartbeat is fantastic though! When’s your next appt? Mines June 12th and it will be the longest two weeks ever.

edit I forgot words

hanshotfirst77 · May 2019

@kbrown2385 Looks like were appt twins again! Mine is June 12th too! And yes it will be the longest two weeks ever.

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@hanshotfirst77 well at least we aren’t doing this alone haha.

laurenmicheley · May 2019

@kbrown2385 @hanshotfirst77 @MollySm
Thanks for your kind words - it's really nice to have the support of others who have gone through it before. I'm so happy to hear about the great scans today and FX for you all for June 12 - 2 weeks will fly by!

mammab120 · May 2019

First congrats ladies @kbrown2385 and @hanshotfirst77, happy the scans went so well!! And @laurenmicheley, fx for you too hun.
All we can do, for the babies, is stay positive and believe!

How many weeks are you? 6wk

2. Previous loss(es)? Mmc July 17 & cp 4/18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally up and down. Staying positive about baby, trying. But also trying to keep my extreme stress down, cuz it can't be good. Im stressed about my stress hahahha! Physically not too bad, sore bbs, exhausted, heartburn, constant bathroom runs, etc.

4. Any appointment updates? 1st appt tomorrow at 11, praying for a scan. New dr for me. Urg that's a long story...

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I ran myself out of tests today so no more sticks to pee on.... kinda sad about that.

6. Any milestones coming up? Every day moving forward. My mmc was discovered late week 7, but stopped growing around 6wks. Never had a heartbeat... so the next few weeks are gonna be tough!

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? All of it. Warm weather particularly. Long days mean more time to play after work (depending on my energy) lol. Plus we go hike w our dogs, play in waterfalls, take long drives exploring in the mountains.... and also steamed clams mmmmmmm.... if it could always be summer I'd be a happier girl!

justsuzie · May 2019

@kbrown2385 . The BEST news! You got this. Ride this high until your next ultrasound!
@hanshotfirst77 Awesome news! 116 was my daughter's HB! I wouldn't worry too much about the location. It's hard to turn PGAL off.
biolprof Conservatively people sometimes wait until the anatomy scan or until they cannot hide it. I waited until 20 weeks with my first LC pregnancy. I say, share when you are ready.

MollySm I am a teacher but work every summer. I cannot wait until money isn't tight and I can enjoy summer with my family like other teachers.

mammab120 hang in there....it's so hard to not think the worst. I feel ya.

How many weeks are you? Don't know for sure yet but I think I am 6+1?

2. Previous loss(es)? Ectopic 9/16, Mmc April 17 I had a CP somewhere along the way too.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally fine. I am kind of just letting things happen. I decided not to take my progesterone because my numbers were okay and my dr just gave it to me to reassure me. Physically I am doing great. I am reacting to smells which suck but no puking so that's a win. I'm trying not to look too deep into lack of symptoms.

4. Any appointment updates? first apt is June 12th

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 10 more days of school left!

6. Any milestones coming up? Every day I don't see spotting is a win! I stopped spotting 2 days ago.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? The long nights.

MrsJessS · May 2019

@kbrown2385 and @hanshotfirst77 hooray for good scans!!! @laurenmicheley so sorry you are going through all this stress but FX it’ll be good news next week

1. How many weeks are you? 5+6

2. Previous loss(es)? Early MC 4/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I feel utterly useless as a human being. There are a few hours every day where I feel ok, but most of the time I’m a zombie. But I can’t seem to sleep despite being utterly exhausted. Emotionally I am a lot calmer than I expected to be...in part because my symptoms are so strong. But I still fear waking up one day and feeling “normal” because that is what happened last time

4. Any appointment updates? Still waiting. Intake appt is next Thursday then they will schedule the US and my first tri appointment

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I’ve been feeling so guilty lately about not being able to do enough because I’m so tired. And guilty for not being more scared. And guilty for being scared at all rather than enjoying and appreciating the fact that I am pregnant. So just a lot of guilt.

6. Any milestones coming up? Just waiting on the US

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? When it’s over? Kidding. Kinda. We get to take a roadtrip this summer so I’m really excited about that! It’s mostly just too hot to function here all summer

ruby0902 · May 2019

@laurenmicheley - fx for you! It's so hard to go through the ups and downs and have to keep waiting through it all. Hoping for a positive outcome ♡

@MrsJessS - I get the same anxiety over symptoms! Mine have come and gone a bit, so whenever I start feeling good, it really freaks me out. Never thought I'd be wishing to feel like crap all the time. Tough to just take my foot off the pedal and relax

c1kc1kpol1cn1k · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 9w1 (can’t believe it)

2. Previous loss(es)? Sep18 Mar19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Feeling ok emotionally a lot better. Physically super nauseas, hungry but no appetite, happy to have symptoms though!

4. Any appointment updates? Nothing until June 18 for midwives intake and 19th for ultrasound

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Happy that the midwives group accepted me ! I was worried that I missed out.

6. Any milestones coming up? First loss was at just 9 weeks and it feels so much different. This time my symptoms are really strong and I’ve already had a positive ultrasound where the dr said everything looks good and she seemed confident so! I guess I just have to wait until the next ultrasound but I’m feeling confident

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Everything!! Light clothes, looking more tanned and not a pale ghost haha. Bbqs/ swimming / walks by the lake, fresh vegetables from the garden

@hanshotfirst77 yesssss on the good scans!!! What a relief

@biolprof after two losses I said this time I would tell some close friends and family right away no matter what happens

@laurenmicheley sorry you are dealing with this and I hope the days to your next scan go by quickly

@justsuzie great that you stopped spotting!

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@MrsJessS @c1kc1kpol1cn1k I’m so glad you guys are feeling more confident! It’s so relieving to get to that point!

hanshotfirst77 · May 2019

So I was still feeling kind of nervous after my scan yesterday. And usually they don't call about the hormone levels unless there is a issue. But I requested them from my nurse. As of yesterday afternoon my HCG was 51,353 and Progesterone was greater than 60. So that makes me feel a lot better. That plus the growth on track and heartbeat I think is enough to ease my anxiety for now. And hopefully in two weeks I'll find out the baby moved and everything is fine.

kbrown2385 · May 2019

@hanshotfirst77 im so glad your numbers look great and your anxiety has lessened. Im sure your next scan will be great!

somewhereinnyc · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 8 weeks 4 days or 8 weeks 2 days (not sure)

2. Previous loss(es)? Chemical pregnancy 2/19, and in this pregnancy, 2 of 3 triplets did not make it

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I’m so nervous.. shocked that I lost 2 babies in this single pregnancy.. also just trying to be positive but the “what if’s” creep into my brain. Physically, I have intense N/V and it’s not as bad as week 6 (when there were 3 babies and I was vomiting constantly).

4. Any appointment updates? Yesterday, I had an ultrasound. Doc said the baby looks great. Heart rate of 167 and measured 8 weeks 1 day. He/ she grew a week in 1 week.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? So hard keeping this a secret. Anyone else told some people already? I’ve told some ppl for support at work as well as a couple family members when morning sickness was terrible. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have because I’m so early still. I also heard I won’t be able to do the blood DNA screening since I’ve got vanishing multiples (?)

6. Any milestones coming up? I’ll be stopping progesterone suppositories this Sunday (this was an IVF frozen transfer cycle but I also conceived naturally at same time!). I “graduated” from the IVF clinic this week, and first OB appt in 2 wks.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Being outside! Eating outside at cafes w my husband and dog, going for walks in Central Park and getting bubble tea, going to rooftop parties..

marebear15 · May 2019

@somewhereinnyc - So sorry for your loss of two of your babies. Do you know why your doctor is having you stop the progesterone suppositories before 12 weeks?

somewhereinnyc · May 2019

@marebear15 thank you. Definitely mixed emotions and a bit of shock that 3 implanted at all. I had a feeling about this on last weeks U/S as there was 1 blighted ovum already, 1 baby measuring a few days behind with a heart rate of only 113 in week 7, and 1 baby right on track. Grateful one is doing well!

Not sure why stopping now. My friend did IVF and stopped suppositories after 10 weeks. I don’t have a documented issue with progesterone but it’s just part of the protocol. I had a natural cycle transfer of frozen embryos and that was the only med I’ve had. Maybe because the placenta is already partially supporting the pregnancy?

badtz-maru · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you?

At least over 7 (I don't know... I had a d&e April 3 and got pregnant without a period in between

2. Previous loss(es)?

Mmc in March (twins as I found out between the misoprostol and the d&e)

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

Bad... cant shake the feeling this is going to happen again

4. Any appointment updates?

Have scan on Wednesday I am terrified to attend

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer?

Not being cold.

I am just nervous and I wish i wasn't...i feel like I need to just calm down and accept thia pregnancy but every time i rub my now obvious belly (bloat, I guess. I have a child, but this is really early), I freak myself out and stop. Amd yes, I know im being silly

biolprof · May 2019

@badtz-maru PGAL brain is real. Don't apologize for having it. Thinking about you! Take it one day at a time. It's never your fault even if it doesn't work out this time but fingers crossed this is your rainbow baby!

mammab120 · May 2019

Ladies, had my appointment today but no scan. Boooo!!
They did blood, or tried to, but I have difficult veins so it wasn't fun, but enough to get my quants.
I was pretty happy but after reading some of your numbers... little concerned.
HCG was 8620 and progesterone was 21.8.
They were happy with my progesterone based on my LMP.
What are your thoughts?
They said no need to check blood again since its so hard on me, scheduled my scan on June 11th.
Hurry up and wait I guess!

biolprof · May 2019

@mammab120 there is no way to know if your beta are okay without a second number. The whole reason to do it is just to confirm that they are doubling in the right amount of time. There are huge normal ranges for HCG so it's probably fine. It's such a wait and see thing which is so frustrating. My first scan is at 8.5 weeks. It can't come soon enough!

justsuzie · May 2019

c1kc1kpol1cn1k I'm so happy you are having strong symptoms! And a great ultrasound hopefully lets you relax a bit. I'm sad I didn't get into the midwives group at my practice. I'm at risk for c-section so they denied me.

hanshotfirst77 Glad you got some extra reassurance!

somewhereinnyc We told our families. I don't want to hide the fact that I'm pregnant even if it doesn't go full term. I did that too many times and it was exhausting!

mammab120 My practice was only going to do one beta but I demanded a second to gaurantee doubling. Can you ask for a second beta? It might make you feel more confident.

c1kc1kpol1cn1k · May 2019

@mammab120 try and get one more beta done. My dr said there’s not point to just do one since it won’t tell you much without the second draw

@justsuzie sorry the midwives didn’t take you! I think with mine even if you end up high risk or with a scheduled c section they will still follow your care until it is transferred over, oh well

mommystuebs · May 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 8+4

2. Previous loss(es)? 7w3d 3/19 and cp 1/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I cant even look in my fridge without gagging.

4. Any appointment updates? Saw baby today measuring 8w5d with a hr of 179 and s/he was squirming and bobbing his head

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I feel selfish saying this but im in pregnancy and loss groups on fb and its becoming to much for me. It makes it so hard to see people even losing their child days before birth i cant imagine what they feeo and it makesme feel this fear will never leave

6. Any milestones coming up? 2 more visits at the RE then i get to see an ob/gyn. So grateful their keeping me on to 10 weeks hoping i feel more confident then

7. GTKY: What is your favorite part of summer? Im a floridian who moved to Pennsylvania so im so happy for this heat

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