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July 2019 Moms
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35+ Moms Check In

expatmom39expatmom39 member
in July 2019 Moms
I’m dying to know how everyone 35 and older are doing in the third tri!

I’m an FTM at 39 and have no point of comparison...wondering if STMs in this group can share what’s been harder at a later age than previous pregnancies.
And of course to hear from FTMs navigating these crazy last weeks like I am!

Symptoms, work/life balance, maternity leave...please share whatever you like.

I’m debating how soon to stop working before my due date. Fatigue has been REAL! Look forward to chatting...I know we’re a small group...please post! 😃
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Re: 35+ Moms Check In

  • mamanbebemamanbebe member
    I’m 37 and despite the complication of GD, this pregnancy has been smoother than my first at 31/32. I think I’m probably more tired but I am also physically stronger, sleeping better and feeling less anxious than I was the first time. Thanks to gestational diabetes I have had to eat much healthier / stay more active and I think that has been helping me feel a little better physically as I come into the final stretch. 
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    I’m 39 and this pregnancy has been a lot harder. BUT. Subsequent pregnancies always are, regardless of age. And I’m chasing a 4.5 year old. It’s hard to say what’s due to my age. I also feel calmer, more relaxed and less stressed about what’s to come. Maybe that’s due to age? 😉
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  • geoduck21geoduck21 member
    edited May 2019
    This pregnancy (37) has been harder than my first (31), with more morning sickness, more exhaustion, more discomfort. Who knows whether that's related to age, pregnancy number, parenting a high energy child with special needs, etc. I do think age plays a part, though.
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    I will say that I’m taking more ownership of my leave this time. I’m not as stressed about missing work and feeling like I need to excuse or apologize. That’s partly about where I work now but I think is also age. Like....my POV on the world has changed in 9 years and I know everyone will be fine. 
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  • key33key33 member
    edited May 2019
    I just turned 35 in March, and this is baby #3 for me. My first was born 2 months before I turned 28.

    My immune system, this time around, has been horrible. I was sick for a week or longer every month from Oct. - Feb. I got the Flu in Feb after a cold and got it again in April. I have BH a lot more, if I am walking or standing they are every 2-10 minutes and have been for months now. I also have a lot more pelvic, hip, and thigh pain. Asides from these 3 things everything else has been pretty much the same.

    Not sure how much keeping up with a 4 and 6 year old is affecting things. Since they are in Kindergarten and Preschool, they bring home all the germs. So they might have a part in why some symptoms are so bad.
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  • expatmom39expatmom39 member
    @mamanbebe I was doing well in my 2nd Tri with exercise, but in the past few weeks have been having mechanical pain from the weight (feet feel bruised). The shortness of breath is also killing my motivation, since it’s making daily tasks exhausting. And now I’ve got insomnia waking me up so early I’m wiped out all day. Really feeling trapped in this cycle...I may try some upper body weight lifting exercises I that used to be part of my regular workouts, since my foot pain is too much to work with.  Maybe that will help with the insomnia. Glad this one has been easier for you, and it’s good to hear there are perhaps some adjustments I could make to help myself. 🌈

    @Happyin14  Yeah...I definitely have all the first-timer stress. I really try not to feed it, I know better. But...big life change for me,
    think it’s inevitable to wonder what’s next and how hard it might get! I’ll try channeling that STM confidence...🙃
    And about work leave, yeah I feel guilty. 6 peoples’ jobs depend on me and I don’t see the project moving forward without me leading it. Feels like a car crash about to happen, to put it dramatically! But I know the nature of contract work is like that for them...and I pray they all come back when I return! 

    @geoduck21 It’s really hard to know if it’s age...I asked my doctor if I would feel differently at 25...and her answer was kind of meh. Every body is different. My mom had me at 36 and said age made a difference for her...but I was also baby #5...so that’s a big factor!

    @key33 Sorry you’ve been so sick! And with 2 LOs to keep up with. Amazing. I feel like a light weight. 😅 I used to work in schools and I think I caught enough bugs to stock my immune system with antibodies for a lifetime! Nothing like having a kid cough in your face...guess I better get ready for this germy little guy to expose me to stuff all over again!

    Thanks for your posts, ladies! “Advanced maternal age” plus FTM stuff can be sort of confusing.  Trying to figure out how to manage this third tri any better, if I can! Look forward to hearing your stories...in all the many threads here... 🤓

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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    I'm 40 this time around. I was 34 with DD. I am exhausted this time around. I was much sicker overall with my first but find I am so much less mobile this time...and my belly is so much bigger. I went off on medical leave almost a month ago now and don't regret it one bit. I feel so much better overall not being at work. And I'm loving the time off with DD (I'm keeping her home from school to spend time with me:)
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  • erynpdxerynpdx member
    I’m feeling very over it this time. I was a terrible chronicler last time at 32, so I can’t say for sure, but I kind of can’t believe I have 7 weeks to go like this. Seems like I feel about 38 😂 
    hard to say if it’s age (37), chasing the preschooler, work being fairly busy, the move. We were always going to be done at 2 kids, but if there had been any doubt...
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  • CbeanzCbeanz member
    Hey ladies, thanks for this check-in!

    I've had babies at 32, 34, 36, and now 38. I don't think 35 is a magic number; I think it's just gotten harder each time for me. And I don't know if it's age or just the fact that I'm caring for more kids each time. Most likely the kids. They are draining the life and energy out of me. I'm counting down the days until I'm on maternity leave although I'm basically worthless already at 32 weeks.

    I'm planning to take about 6 months off, maybe 7. We'll see how long it takes me to get my life somewhat together after a fourth kid...
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  • key33key33 member
    edited May 2019
    @expactmom39 - I thought I had pretty good immune system up until this pregnancy. I don't even remember ever having the flu in the past. This LO just took all my immune system for herself, and my older two like to cough and sneeze directly in my face. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Hoping I'm in the clear for a long time now that it's finally starting to feel like Spring/Summer here. 

    @Cbeanz - I'd bet on it being the kids too. Having just two is draining!
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  • indulgentgypsyindulgentgypsy member
    For me without a doubt this pregnancy is so much harder at 41 than my lost at 31. My belly is bigger, my body is slower, I'm just super stressed and tired.
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  • hoodevil0611hoodevil0611 member
    edited May 2019
    Turned 35 in March.  This is my first, so no point of comparison, but I think I'm doing pretty well for almost 35 weeks.  Definitely feeling the fatigue lately, though.  I've slept 9 hours the past two nights (though spent some of that time lying awake both nights - thank you, pea-sized bladder), and I'm still struggling to keep my eyes open right now.  May have to do with getting very little sleep Monday night, but I usually bounce back a lot faster than this.
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  • hinoteshinotes member
    @expatmom39 Thanks for starting this thread.  I'm 38 and a FTM, and have been wondering some of these same things.  I have been pretty tired lately, also due to trouble sleeping and needing to pee throughout the night, but I guess that is impacting younger moms, too.  I'm still trying to keep up with working out and eating well (probably more so than I would have in my 20's), but I have been noticing some minor joint pain and back pain, which again, I'm not sure is age or normal 3rd trimester symptoms.  Work has been stressful, and since starting my first full-time job many years ago, I have never taken off work for more than 2 weeks, so it's hard to plan to be out for months like I'm hoping to do.
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  • CbeanzCbeanz member
    @hinotes How long are you planning to take off?
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  • hinoteshinotes member
    @Cbeanz Most likely it'll be 3 months straight, then I might work out a part-time return to work for another 1-2 months, coordinating with my husband (his company has some paternity leave he can take in phases).
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @hinotes With my first at 34 I stayed active all the way through. Now at 35 weeks I can seriously barely walk most days. I've been cleaning and organizing the house and likely carrying things from room to room that I shouldn't be...but the pain is crazy and I'm attributing it to age. I packed and moved at 36 weeks pregnant with DD, pulled an all nighter doing so, and still made it in for a full day if work the next morning. Now at 40 I carry a few things from one floor to another and need to take a 2 hour break:/
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  • expatmom39expatmom39 member
    Yep!
    Make breakfast: eat and 30 min with feet up.
    Shower: lay down for 30 min.
    Nap instead of working: wake up hungry.
    Body is officially shutting down to just feed and rest.  Started contractions this week, too. Those are show-stoppers!
    Trying to accept the new normal...but it’s so far from normal!  Miss workouts...making food like a normal person...and walking without pain!
    Hope I bounce back after a while and enjoy workouts/going up stairs again! This is like a preview of old age and Im not into it! 👵🏻🚫 Guess I’ll appreciate my “youth” more after this!
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