A friend of mine brought me a gift last night. It was a knitted blanket, hat, and booties for a rainbow baby. I absolutely loved it. It's so pretty and soft. He will be so adorable in it.
Im in that frustrating middle spot where my 1st tri symptoms have almost all faded but Im not feeling any kinds of consistent movement (and what movement I do feel is very "is it or isnt it"). So now I dont feel pregnant and I am terrified this has all just bern a dream. Going for my check up Tuesday morning and just praying everything is ok.
@purplefan1 I have been checking the baby's HB almost daily because he gives a good little kick (obviously I still feel it as a flutter but it's more noticeable than other times i feel it randomly). I was just checking once a week.
@purplefan1, I was fearful that it would worsen my anxiety too, but it has been helpful to be able to use the doppler. I only allow myself to do it once a day, and I use it as my mental check in each day. I’m sure all will be fine on Tuesday at your appt, and those regular movements are just around the corner.
Thanks for the reassurances. Im happy the appointment is fairly early in the day so I dont have to spend all day fretting. I truly think it will be ok too but my anxiety wont allow me to fully relax. I both love appointments and dread them!
This "not feeling pregnant" thing that comes with the 2nd trimester is throwing my PGAL brain into overdrive. I *think* I am getting occasional movement/flutters but not consistent. Only 9 days to my next appointment. Hope it goes quickly.
I have my next appointment tomorrow morning. I will feel so much relief seeing that my uterus is still clear of any SCH. I honestly have no idea what I will do if I have to be on modified bedrest again.
I bought my doppler 5 years ago to use with my second pregnancy. I used it until I could feel consistent movement. Then with all my other pregnancies I never used it. I need it for this pregnancy. My anxiety has been through the roof and honestly, seeing a healthy HB on the US isn't even comforting for me. I had a great US and then my baby was gone 3 days later. So being able to check-in a few times a week, or daily now, has been the only thing to keep me from spiraling.
I don't plan to rely on it after you are suppose to do kick counts. I think this is where the warnings come in. Counting kicks is important because if baby stops moving something could be wrong but their HR could still be fine. If you don't go in you could miss the window to save the baby if something has happened where they could intervene.
I'm sure you could always call the nurse and come in and do a quick doppler check at the OB office. I know lots of women who do that.
@drama_llama Im definitely struggling with the in between 1st trimester sickness and not feeling consistent movement yet. I swear at night when im laying still and focused on it, I can feel flutters. Especially when I push gently on my uterus. I leave in about 30 minutes for my appointment so hopefully hearing everything is good this time will help reduce my worries. Cant wait for regular movement and hopeful for no anterior placenta so I can get all of the kicks!
@emeraldcity1214 I honestly never feel total relief after an appointment. After losing my 1st to MMC I know that just because at that moment everything looks fine, things can change in an instant. With my last pregnancy we were going to annouce to family at 10 weeks after my check up but since all the doc did that day was a doppler I sobbed and said I didnt want to tell people until we had proof that baby was still in there. This time around i have been telling people since about 7 weeks (family) but that is because they knew we have been trying for 2 years and I wanted all the prayers and love sent to this baby. Not after thoughts. I still tend to tell people Im "sorta pregnant" or "kinda pregnant". I was supposed to go on a ride along with the fire department and they were asking when I wanted to schedule that and I said "Im kinda pregnant so we might need to wait". They couldnt figure out what kinda pregnant meant. But for me, it is really hard to attach to pregnancy in the fear that I will lose it.
Im glad you are doing what you need to do for your anxiety. I know for my own anxious issues, I would become OCD about it and wanting to check all of the time and never quite believing I was finding the right thing. My OB specifically requested I didnt get one personally because of my anxiety and he didnt think it would provide me much relief.
Also, about the SCH, I wish they would scan mine to see if it resolved. They have never seemed concerned about it. Which makes me worried they are ignoring something that could be a problem!
@purplefan1 I hope your appointment goes well today. I will be anxiously awaiting your update. ❤
As for my SCH, I had a very large one last pregnancy. It was abnormally large. My doctor said she has only seen 1 or 2 other that big in her whole career. I asked to be closely monitored during this pregnancy due to my loss last time. She agreed to do that for me. I asked if I could have another US before leaving for AK just to make sure everything is still good. So they are only following me so close because I have asked for it. I pay out of pocket for my US too. If your dr isn't worried about your SCH, you should be fine. I'm just overly anxious about mine.
@emeraldcity1214 appointment went well! Heard heartbeat on doppler and NP said baby was moving all around which feels reassuring. Go back on Thursday for glucose test and in 4 weeks for anomaly scan. They will check SCH at that scan but since I havent had any cramping or bleeding since early April they arent concerned. I also did genetic testing today so should get those results some time in the next few weeks.
@purplefan1 glad the appointment went well! 🤞 for the glucose challenge test for you.
@emeraldcity1214 will be thinking about you for your appointment. I am glad the doppler helps a little.
I hate the way the experience of loss robs you of that sense of security. I see other expectant mothers who haven't had a loss and I envy their sense of security. It is hard to explain to someone without a PGAL experience that precarity. It can so easily consume you. I have found that even physicians often don't understand the PGAL experience.
@emeraldcity1214 you are right that the biggest concern is people using the doppler for reassurance instead of going in and missing something important. They also warn that (basically) lay people often use them incorrectly. IDK, if it helps you more power to you, I figure. I think for me it would just add a compulsion to my anxiety. That momentary reassurance would quickly give way to the reality that I can't know "for certain" and it really us out of my hands. I suspect I would be looking for that hit of reassurance over and over again. So, instead I just try to manage my anxiety.
Kick counts are important! A gal on my grad program went in when kick counts slowed and it saved her baby's life.
@drama_llama Using a doppler isn't for everyone. Its important to do what feels good for you and your anxiety. PGAL brain is hard and I think just getting through it the best we can is all any of us can do.
Ok, I know this is crazy but I still have belly butter left that I was using last pregnancy and I have been hesitant to use it because I have been avoiding doing the same things I did last pregnancy. I started using a new prenatal last pregnancy. Yep, I ditched those and went back to my old brand. I know it's so stupid but it is something I have been struggling with.
Not crazy at all. It is totally normal to try to take control of a situation that previously felt outside of our control. I have done similar things as well.
@purplefan1 glad you had a great appt, that’s exciting! What are you doing a ride along for? My husband is a firefighter!
@emeraldcity1214 Good luck in the morning! And that’s not crazy about changing things up, I think the same way down to using the same shampoo I used during my son’s pregnancy.
I have my first ob appt tomorrow. It was rescheduled from last week since I was sick and I’ve been so anxious waiting for it. I’m seeing a new doctor that my friend recommended, but I’m really not looking forward to rehashing my history of the past year with her. My midwife (who didn’t have any appts open this week) is a family friend and I talk to her semi-often, I saw her after my first three losses, she’s the one who referred me to IVF, she was at my wedding, and is just way more comfortable to talk to than anyone else. I’m hoping it’s not as bad as I’ve psyched myself to think it’ll be.
@rogro118 I have been working with the local fire department to increase mental health awareness. One of the approaches we are using to get them more active in talking about mental health and substance use is to get the counselors learning more about their culture and exposing us (the counselors) to the firefighters daily lives. Hoping to reduce barriers to firefighters seeking support, reduce suicide rates, improve feelings of overall wellness and reduce burnout, compassion fatigue, and cumulative trauma leading to PTSD. Tell your husband thank you for what he does!! It is a tough job!
@purplefan1 can you come to MA 😅. Seriously though, that is an amazing concept! They so need it. There’s such a stigma against getting help since they have to go through formal channels to get any support through the union, they’re all scared it would impact their ability to stay on the job. His department is about 3/4 retired military, so there is a lot of it, and the things he’s seen on the ambulance alone have messed with his head big time. Thank you for what you do, that will make a huge difference in so many lives.
My ultrasound was great! He has a FHR of 156 and he had the hiccups. It was so adorable. We also confirmed he is definitely a boy! 💙 Also, no signs of any SCH. I have a healthy baby and healthy uterus!
@emeraldcity1214 yay for healthy baby and ute!!! What a relief you must feel!!
@rogro118 I love so much what I do and appreciate so much what our first responders do. It is a blessing for me to get to work with them and their families!
Do y'all want me to start a new thread or just finish out the month of May and start doing weekly PGAL next week? I would just start the first week on the 1st.
The first works for me too!
@emeraldcity1214 Yay for your healthy baby, that is such happy news!
My appointment went well, the heartbeat was 140 and all looked fine. The new ob was ok, but I probably won’t make another appointment with her, mainly because she said I shouldn’t gain more than 10 pounds, and “if it’s more than 15 we’ll need to talk.” I nearly laughed, but I get that they have their standards and BMI charts, I just believe it should be a conversation about nutrition versus pounds gained. I’m like ten pounds over my happy, feel awesome weight, but I’m a size 8, not obese and I eat super healthy. I know my body has been through a lot this year and it shows, plus, my big thighs and short height have has always kept me out of the “normal” range since elementary school. Anyways, I’m not concerned, but majorly annoyed, she should be my TW this week I suppose 🙄
However, we also got our nipt results this afternoon and they are NORMAL!! Woo! The genetic counselor made us a bit worried when we met with her last week since my IVF embryos a few months ago were all abnormal and I’ve had the recurrent losses, so I am super relieved to say the least! I’ll post the gender in the announcement thread too, but we have a healthy baby girl, and I am so surprised by that, I thought for sure we had another boy 💕. It’s been a good day!
I haven't felt movement for 2 days. Logically I know this is completely normal at this stage of pregnancy, but PGAL brain LOUD today. Please tell me it is normal to feel movement a few days in a row and then not for a few days at this stage.
@drama_llama It is very normal. I felt movement for a few days that seemed like it may start getting more regular and now I haven't felt anything for 2 days now (I think it's been 2 days). I listened to his HB yesterday just to be sure and he was still ok. I will probably check again today. His HB was a little more difficult to find and I'm assuming that was because he was in a different spot which likely has something to do with me not feeling anything. If you are still worried and haven't felt movement by Monday, call and see if they can fit you in for a doppler check.
@emeraldcity1214 thanks. I know Mothra is probably just tucked behind the partially anterior placenta, but you know how it can get. My monthly is Tuesday, so I don't have that long ti wait.
@drama_llama Yes, I know exactly what you're going through. I'm sure that everything is fine. Just remember that at this stage, there is a 1% chance (or less maybe) of MC.
@drama_llama I have desperately been searching for movement for a couple of days now and not finding anything that feels like a possible sure thing. Same as you I keep trying to remind myself that it is still early. And the anterior placenta definitely makes things hard. I usually find drinking some caffeine and laying on the couch helps while pushing gently on the stomach in different spots, or taking a bath. Can not wait for regular movement but also know that brings its own hosts of worries (moving enough? Moving too much?) Agh! Hoping your little one gets wiggly for you tonight.
FWIW, i went for my monthly last Tuesday and they were using the doppler and said "baby is on the move today! I couldnt feel any of the movements but they were chasing it with the doppler.
Re: May PGAL
When were you do? My June due date is coming up quick.
I bought my doppler 5 years ago to use with my second pregnancy. I used it until I could feel consistent movement. Then with all my other pregnancies I never used it. I need it for this pregnancy. My anxiety has been through the roof and honestly, seeing a healthy HB on the US isn't even comforting for me. I had a great US and then my baby was gone 3 days later. So being able to check-in a few times a week, or daily now, has been the only thing to keep me from spiraling.
I don't plan to rely on it after you are suppose to do kick counts. I think this is where the warnings come in. Counting kicks is important because if baby stops moving something could be wrong but their HR could still be fine. If you don't go in you could miss the window to save the baby if something has happened where they could intervene.
I'm sure you could always call the nurse and come in and do a quick doppler check at the OB office. I know lots of women who do that.
@emeraldcity1214 I honestly never feel total relief after an appointment. After losing my 1st to MMC I know that just because at that moment everything looks fine, things can change in an instant. With my last pregnancy we were going to annouce to family at 10 weeks after my check up but since all the doc did that day was a doppler I sobbed and said I didnt want to tell people until we had proof that baby was still in there. This time around i have been telling people since about 7 weeks (family) but that is because they knew we have been trying for 2 years and I wanted all the prayers and love sent to this baby. Not after thoughts. I still tend to tell people Im "sorta pregnant" or "kinda pregnant". I was supposed to go on a ride along with the fire department and they were asking when I wanted to schedule that and I said "Im kinda pregnant so we might need to wait". They couldnt figure out what kinda pregnant meant. But for me, it is really hard to attach to pregnancy in the fear that I will lose it.
Im glad you are doing what you need to do for your anxiety. I know for my own anxious issues, I would become OCD about it and wanting to check all of the time and never quite believing I was finding the right thing. My OB specifically requested I didnt get one personally because of my anxiety and he didnt think it would provide me much relief.
Also, about the SCH, I wish they would scan mine to see if it resolved. They have never seemed concerned about it. Which makes me worried they are ignoring something that could be a problem!
As for my SCH, I had a very large one last pregnancy. It was abnormally large. My doctor said she has only seen 1 or 2 other that big in her whole career. I asked to be closely monitored during this pregnancy due to my loss last time. She agreed to do that for me. I asked if I could have another US before leaving for AK just to make sure everything is still good. So they are only following me so close because I have asked for it. I pay out of pocket for my US too. If your dr isn't worried about your SCH, you should be fine. I'm just overly anxious about mine.
@emeraldcity1214 will be thinking about you for your appointment. I am glad the doppler helps a little.
I hate the way the experience of loss robs you of that sense of security. I see other expectant mothers who haven't had a loss and I envy their sense of security. It is hard to explain to someone without a PGAL experience that precarity. It can so easily consume you. I have found that even physicians often don't understand the PGAL experience.
@emeraldcity1214 you are right that the biggest concern is people using the doppler for reassurance instead of going in and missing something important. They also warn that (basically) lay people often use them incorrectly. IDK, if it helps you more power to you, I figure. I think for me it would just add a compulsion to my anxiety. That momentary reassurance would quickly give way to the reality that I can't know "for certain" and it really us out of my hands. I suspect I would be looking for that hit of reassurance over and over again. So, instead I just try to manage my anxiety.
Kick counts are important! A gal on my grad program went in when kick counts slowed and it saved her baby's life.
@emeraldcity1214 Good luck in the morning! And that’s not crazy about changing things up, I think the same way down to using the same shampoo I used during my son’s pregnancy.
I have my first ob appt tomorrow. It was rescheduled from last week since I was sick and I’ve been so anxious waiting for it. I’m seeing a new doctor that my friend recommended, but I’m really not looking forward to rehashing my history of the past year with her. My midwife (who didn’t have any appts open this week) is a family friend and I talk to her semi-often, I saw her after my first three losses, she’s the one who referred me to IVF, she was at my wedding, and is just way more comfortable to talk to than anyone else. I’m hoping it’s not as bad as I’ve psyched myself to think it’ll be.
@emeraldcity1214 thank you!
@rogro118 I love so much what I do and appreciate so much what our first responders do. It is a blessing for me to get to work with them and their families!
My appointment went well, the heartbeat was 140 and all looked fine. The new ob was ok, but I probably won’t make another appointment with her, mainly because she said I shouldn’t gain more than 10 pounds, and “if it’s more than 15 we’ll need to talk.” I nearly laughed, but I get that they have their standards and BMI charts, I just believe it should be a conversation about nutrition versus pounds gained. I’m like ten pounds over my happy, feel awesome weight, but I’m a size 8, not obese and I eat super healthy. I know my body has been through a lot this year and it shows, plus, my big thighs and short height have has always kept me out of the “normal” range since elementary school. Anyways, I’m not concerned, but majorly annoyed, she should be my TW this week I suppose 🙄
However, we also got our nipt results this afternoon and they are NORMAL!! Woo! The genetic counselor made us a bit worried when we met with her last week since my IVF embryos a few months ago were all abnormal and I’ve had the recurrent losses, so I am super relieved to say the least! I’ll post the gender in the announcement thread too, but we have a healthy baby girl, and I am so surprised by that, I thought for sure we had another boy 💕. It’s been a good day!
ETA: congrats on the girl!
Tell your provider to shove it with the weight talk. The focus should be on health, not a number.
I haven't felt movement for 2 days. Logically I know this is completely normal at this stage of pregnancy, but PGAL brain LOUD today. Please tell me it is normal to feel movement a few days in a row and then not for a few days at this stage.
FWIW, i went for my monthly last Tuesday and they were using the doppler and said "baby is on the move today! I couldnt feel any of the movements but they were chasing it with the doppler.