Need to vent.. my shower is planned for May 18.. my friend who was my maid of honor in my wedding said she'd plan it for me. Its been about two weeks and we still didn't have a venue for it, I finally told her lets just host it at my house, I'll make it work. I hadn't heard from her since Monday, get a text last night saying that she is no longer able to plan it. Her dog got diagnosed with cancer and she can't deal with planning the shower right now. So now I am scrambling to get invites ordered and sent out because we are so close to the date. My SIL said she'd help me however she can, but I'm just annoyed that I'm left to scramble to get this done. I'm going to send out an Evite as a save the date just so people know when it is until I get can get actual invites out in the mail. I know its like first world problems and it will all work out, just really annoyed.
@jennm0724 Hugs, momma, that blows! I personally love using websites like Punchbowl and totally forgo paper invites (unless you really super want them). They help track responses and attendance, who has even viewed it over who hasn't, and they have some nice invites as well. Or, I could help you design one? I did this for my friend's shower in November.
[spoiler][/spoiler]
If you have any questions or need ideas/advice for hosting it yourself, hit me up. I've thrown about 5 baby showers over the last two-three years. Try to delegate what you can to people willing to help, and I definitely recommend looking into catering or party platter options rather than trying to tackle the food yourself so you aren't completely exhausted at your own party.
thank you @foodislove ! I ended up ordering invites from Zazzle. For sure going to do party platters of food, no way am I cooking! Thinking of small sandwiches, pasta salads and other little finger foods. I think now that I have the invites ordered, talked to my SIL and she is going to help as much as she can it will all work out. Now I can turn my focus on making sure my house is ready LOL! We are getting Pergo floors and a new patio slider, that all needs to be done in a month! AHH!
Any idea how many people are coming to your shower? My friend is hosting for me at her house and asked me to put together a list. She suggested co-ed, which I’m totally down for as it’s more my style, but it’s unbelievable how’s quickly this list has grown! I’ve been to one shower in my life and have no idea what a reasonable size to cut down to is...
@finnflan I guess it depends on how big the house is. I'm hoping to do mine at my house and we could easily host a group of about 40 people in my indoor and outdoor spaces.
Here's a good calculator to help calculate it. Use the square footage of the "party space" only. Consider furniture in your calculation. I also like to consider how many seats I have. Can about 1/3 to half your attendees sit somewhere? That's usually a good estimate for a more casual party. https://hiltonworldwide.hilton.com/en/hotels/groups/popup_space_calculator.jhtml
@finnflan my yard isn’t that large but I’m thinking we’re only having around 25 people. It’s mostly everyone who came to my bridal shower. Most of my friends live out of state so it’s just close family. The list can grow quickly!
Thanks guys. I had been thinking like 25 to start but when I wrote out a preliminary list it got to 60 REALLY fast! And that’s not even inviting all aunts/uncles/cousins, only some plus close friends. Space is definitely an issue, so some snipping is in my future.
This happened with my mom. She told me she would plan it then next thing I know it’s a week before my shower and she had nothing planned. Luckily my friend stepped up to help me and I had a great time.
Youve got this and your shower will be fun, promise.
I’m feeling like my sister hasn’t started planning mine. It wasn’t even a big deal for me but I get anxiety about unplanned things. I want it to be May 15th ish but still don’t even have a date yet. I have to plan my life around it too so it irks me.
My friend just offered to throw me another shower. I passed, since this is our second boy. I did ask that if she was willing to host a tea with our girl friends to get me some girl time (so much testosterone in my house...), I'd be grateful. So it looks like I get a tea for me, which sounds lovely and perfect and way low-key, no presents.
@leylea89 I totally know how you're feeling, when my friend bailed on planning it for me, it sent me into panic mode. I was really limited on dates so I had to go with May 18th and make it work. It's like a month away now and invites haven't even gone out. I did have my mom send out an evite save the date sort of thing so people at least can plan for it
@foodislove OMG that sounds lovely. I would LOVE a girly spa day - pedicures, manicures, coffee and sparkling water (I hate tea) and little cupcakes. Just a pamper me day. If my BFF wasn't thousands of miles away I know she would drag me out of the house for exactly that
Okay, so I had a friend offer to throw me a baby shower yesterday. Very sweet and her mom will be here to help her plan and yada yada yada... I literally just had to post a question on Facebook asking if people would come. I mean, honestly, I don't want her wasting time and money planning something that no one would show up too. And I don't need a lot of stuff - mostly bottles and cloth diapers and regular wipes. I would be cool with like a co-ed BBQ. I would be cool with a Spa day with just me and her and her mom. I would be cool with a mani-pedi spa party... and I am resigned to the idea of nothing. Right now this is just one more thing that is throwing my emotions and mental state out of wack.
@indulgentgypsy I’m sorry it’s causing you stress! Could you let your friend know that while you really appreciate it, what you could really use is a girls day out before baby arrives!? Maybe the spa like you mentioned, some lunch and shopping?
I might do that @nolemomma14. Although another teacher I work with wants to help plan a baby shower with my friend. I'm just, I... it's hard right now, my emotions are all over, and I would like a baby shower because I never really had one, but I don't want another 1st shower incident where nobody came. That was... not good.
@indulgentgypsy I want you to have a shower in some shape or form. After reading your story, I really want you to take your friend up on her offer. I know it's not my business but what you went through made me angry and I want something good to happen this time around.
I've never had a shower even though I've thrown them for friends/family and I can relate it's a shitty feeling to not have a chance to celebrate your baby.
@indulgentgypsy I agree with cbeanz! I think a girls day instead of a traditional shower could be just as awesome (or more awesome) and if that makes you more comfortable, I say do it! If your heart is really set on a more traditional shower, then do that! Whatever will make you the happiest.
@indulgentgypsy Hugs, momma. I understand the emotional labor and not wanting to get your hopes up. Definitely communicate those concerns with your lovely friend, don't hold them back. People won't know if you don't tell them. You deserve a shower that makes you and baby girl feel special.
My MIL just asked for dates to do a shower. Yay! However, now I’m on the hunt for a cute dress for the shower. I don’t want to spend a ton since I’ll only have about 6 weeks left of pregnancy. What are you all wearing and where are you getting it from? I loooove maxi dresses but it’s so hard for me to find the right length since I’m only 5’2!
@abmeier I love my dresses from Pink Blush and they weren’t too expensive. They have some cute high low hems that could be good so you don’t end up with something too long? They also have lots of coupons and 20% of deals, so that helped me save. I also got ones that were also nursing friendly so they last me for a while! They are super comfy and I’ll probably get a couple more as I normally wear just dresses all summer.
@abmeier I've also had some good luck with maternity clothes on Poshmark. There are tons of maternity dresses on there that people bought, wore once for their baby shower and are now reselling. I got one I had spotted on PinkBlush for like half off that way.
@abmeier I'm not having a shower but for maternity pics/just a nice dress to wear for summer I got one from Wren and Ivory. They aren't the cheapest, but they are designed to be able to wear pregnant or not, and the one I got is also nursing friendly!
Feeling really down ATM because my shower is going to be tiny and mostly old people. We invited 51, and only about 11-15 are coming. It's partially because almost all invitees (including me, but it's in my home state) are out of state, but it still really sucks and makes me feel un-cared about and pathetic. I'm sure hormones aren't helping, but I'm really upset.
For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him. Samuel 1:27 KJV DS born 1.25.18 (my rainbow) | Baby Girl Due 7.25.19
Just circling back here since I had a meltdown about this. Touched base with my stepmom about the baby shower yesterday. She is now hosting. She is flying out. She already started looking for a venue. (I heard my dad in the background, "I don't know that we need to make this a huge to-do." Then she said, "Umm... If I'm hosting, we do. This is our first grandchild." That made me feel so good.) All very exciting and I'm just really happy that it is finally coming together. I was super emotional about it before (I spent two whole days crying about it.) and now I am emotional because I'm so ding-dang happy that she wants to do this for me. It isn't until mid-June, so I'll only have a couple of weeks to tie everything back together, but I won't be ready for all of that stuff until then, anyway, so it is all working out. What a relief.
@greeneyedgirl12 I respect your feelings but for the most part- only 1/3 of guests show up anyway. So if 15/50 guests show up to an out of state shower, feel blessed. If it’s that important to you, organize something like a sip and see for the in town guests. Most people want to celebrate the baby so if they’re born then, they’re more likely to show up. My shower is 4 hours from where I’ve been living for over a decade so I know most people won’t be there but a lot of them still will send gifts for the baby.
@abmeier I just got my dress from Ross yesterday. I’m tall and overweight so there are actually fewer options there for me than there were for your size. I had 3 when your range would have probably 20. No exaggeration. I put it in the weekly bump pic but I’ll attach here too.
Speaking of being overweight, there’s a shower game where people try to guess how big you are with yarn. Not only do I hate to be touched, but I don’t have a big bump and i don’t feel comfortable with the game. My sister wants to do it but I want to 86 it. I don’t like being touched anyway. What do you guys think? Should a I just grin and bear it for 10 minutes people coming to stare at me and guess how fat I am?
@leylea89 I definitely think you get to veto a game that literally will make you uncomfortable and that you won't like. People are there for you and the baby, and I'm sure they would want to see you enjoying it, even the games.
@leylea89 I hear what you're saying. I'm less upset about it than I was, although not un-upset. I think my level of sadness yesterday was a combo of a random super-high hormone day (I was cry-y all day AND I puked for the first time in a couple weeks) and some other family issues. Appreciate the perspective though!
@hakele Hooray!! @greeneyedgirl12 I feel you! I have a huge extended family, but the only ones who live in state, my mom doesn't get along with. So my shower is going to be my mom, MIL, sister in laws and a handful of friends... so 12 total if everyone actually shows up. Kind of makes me feel like a loser. I know I'm not, but its like, "ug" right now.
@leylea89 There is absolutely zero need to have games that make you uncomfortable. You are the mom, put your foot down and let her know what games you do not want to play, and which you would be okay with (I put a ban on all games involving any kind of food/eating/drinking). And your dress is adorbs. @hakele Yay for a party! So happy for you.
For moms looking for dresses, I got this on Amazon, and I love it, compliments every time I wear it to work. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07LB7QS1J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I'm short, 5'3, so it hits me around my knees, but it's so cute and form fitting! Not bad quality either for $30. Not really something you can wear post-pregnancy though.
@greeneyedgirl12 I’m glad you feel somewhat better. I’ve been to a lot of showers and only in one was there more than 30 people. I totally get the hormones too. I keep crying at everything I see online that’s supposed to provoke emotion and I’m definitely not a cryer usually. Once in a while I throw up too.
And everyone else, thank you for the support! It gives me the courage to say no even though it’s a pretty standard shower game. I just really hate being touched and am not really fond of being stared at either lol. I do want it to be fun and about celebrating my little miracle on the way.
Re: Baby Showers
[spoiler]
If you have any questions or need ideas/advice for hosting it yourself, hit me up. I've thrown about 5 baby showers over the last two-three years. Try to delegate what you can to people willing to help, and I definitely recommend looking into catering or party platter options rather than trying to tackle the food yourself so you aren't completely exhausted at your own party.
Here's a good calculator to help calculate it. Use the square footage of the "party space" only. Consider furniture in your calculation. I also like to consider how many seats I have. Can about 1/3 to half your attendees sit somewhere? That's usually a good estimate for a more casual party.
https://hiltonworldwide.hilton.com/en/hotels/groups/popup_space_calculator.jhtml
Youve got this and your shower will be fun, promise.
@foodislove tea sounds great! YAY for girl time!
I've never had a shower even though I've thrown them for friends/family and I can relate it's a shitty feeling to not have a chance to celebrate your baby.
DS born 1.25.18 (my rainbow) | Baby Girl Due 7.25.19
Touched base with my stepmom about the baby shower yesterday. She is now hosting. She is flying out. She already started looking for a venue. (I heard my dad in the background, "I don't know that we need to make this a huge to-do." Then she said, "Umm... If I'm hosting, we do. This is our first grandchild." That made me feel so good.) All very exciting and I'm just really happy that it is finally coming together. I was super emotional about it before (I spent two whole days crying about it.) and now I am emotional because I'm so ding-dang happy that she wants to do this for me. It isn't until mid-June, so I'll only have a couple of weeks to tie everything back together, but I won't be ready for all of that stuff until then, anyway, so it is all working out. What a relief.
@abmeier I just got my dress from Ross yesterday. I’m tall and overweight so there are actually fewer options there for me than there were for your size. I had 3 when your range would have probably 20. No exaggeration. I put it in the weekly bump pic but I’ll attach here too.
Speaking of being overweight, there’s a shower game where people try to guess how big you are with yarn. Not only do I hate to be touched, but I don’t have a big bump and i don’t feel comfortable with the game. My sister wants to do it but I want to 86 it. I don’t like being touched anyway. What do you guys think? Should a I just grin and bear it for 10 minutes people coming to stare at me and guess how fat I am?
@leylea89 don’t do it if it’d make you uncomfortable. Your shower should be full of good memories.
@greeneyedgirl12 I feel you!
@hakele Yay for a party! So happy for you.
For moms looking for dresses, I got this on Amazon, and I love it, compliments every time I wear it to work.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07LB7QS1J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I'm short, 5'3, so it hits me around my knees, but it's so cute and form fitting! Not bad quality either for $30. Not really something you can wear post-pregnancy though.
And everyone else, thank you for the support! It gives me the courage to say no even though it’s a pretty standard shower game. I just really hate being touched and am not really fond of being stared at either lol. I do want it to be fun and about celebrating my little miracle on the way.