Monday B*tch-fest!

wabash15 · April 2019

What do you have ladies?!?

Allycat11 · April 2019

I have a few today.

We have a half acre property with a ton of huge oak trees. This weekend DH decided to take some down by himself and managed to drop one on part of our garage because it did not fall where he thought it would. Now we have a damaged garage, a dent in his car, wood chips all over our driveway and the entire effing broken up tree in our front yard. DH is the king of unfinished projects and we really do not have time for that right now. Thankfully after that incident he decided to leave the rest alone.

Every year we are allotted 6 snow days, this year we used like 12 or 13. We know a few will be forgiven due to state of emergency but the school district is pushing for all of them to be forgiven. While we wait for this to get figured out we have no idea when school will let out for the summer, which is making it really difficult to plan for June. And my UO around here is that they should not forgive all the snow days. There are laws in place for a reason and some of the snow days were crappy calls where the kids definitely should have gone to school. I get that no one wants to go later in June, but tough, too much school was cancelled this winter.

aukeev · April 2019

@Allycat11 What a nightmare with the tree! I can't imagine the self control it took not to release the full power of pregnancy rage on YH. Does he have a clean up/repair plan?

Allycat11 · April 2019

@oklahomak to my knowledge no plan. His attitude was, "Well that is what insurance is for." But I am concerned about how much we are still going to have to pay and if our premiums will go up. May be cheaper to repair it ourselves. This happened Saturday and aside from chopping up the tree and moving it to the front yard he has not done anything about it. He did take the time to build a new fire pit in the backyard yesterday, moved the trampoline and some other lower priority stuff too. I am sick, lightheaded and sore right now so I am useless for yard work at the moment and it is super annoying watching all of this unfold.

wabash15 · April 2019

@Allycat11 wow, I would have lost my ish. Sorry about the garage.

my MBF is far tamer in comparison... damn night sweats... I was so hot last night I had to get DH to get icepacks to put around me so I could go back to sleep.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@Allycat11 Sorry that happened, but you will pay one way or another and depending on other factors outside of your control (like even if you don’t have other claims) you could get dropped by your homeowners insurance. We had a tree come down in a storm a few years ago and took out part of our neighbors fence and deck. We opted to pay out of pocket to avoid the increased premiums for years. I was advised at the time not to even call the insurance company for advice because they can raise rates or drop you just based on preliminary information. Also be weary if you have “accident forgiveness” or something like it. I had it on my car, which was totaled, and the insurance company didn’t “raise my rates”, but they took away my discounts, which almost doubled the premium.

sourlemon · April 2019

This is petty but almost all of my maternity work clothes (pants especially) are getting too small and uncomfortable. I complained about it last week but just one week later its that much worse. And there's 15 weeks of work left for me! WAAAAHHHHHHHH

wabash15 · April 2019

oh I have one more... well two... I was asked if it was twins and was I sure it was just one... yup. thanks 4th time mom here so I get big fast...
oh and "when are you due"
me: august
person: was this planned or were you on some sort of time line? You've had them so close together...
Me; I'm old, we struggled with IF for years and this is a bonus baby, thanks...

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@wabash15 I think this was in my b*fest last week (I know I posted it somewhere), but every damn day I have this conversation:

YES! I’m due in August, yes that August, yes I realize that is FOUR months away.

No, it’s only one, yes I’m sure (so is my doc 😉).

Yes, summer pregnancies are hot! You must be an F-ing meteorologist!! I have a late July baby, so I totally know what “I’m in for” - whatever that means?!? I also have a January baby, and guess what - you still get big, fat, and uncomfortable you just do it in a coat.

(Here’s where my story varies a bit because my other kids are older)
Yes, we planned AND wanted this baby!
No, starting over isn’t any worse than having three kids under four - no offense if this is your life choice.

In other words, YES, I know I’m freakin huge! And guess what?!? All my shit hurts, so thanks for reminding me I look every bit as big as I feel.

I’ve been chill so far, but somebody soon is going to get unloaded on.

aukeev · April 2019

@thirdtimesacharm2019 I will never, ever understand why people think it's ok to comment on ANY woman's size.

My b*fest this week is people touching my stomach. At Easter lunch yesterday, DH's aunt reached out and touched and said, "I just have to!" So I reached out and grabbed her stomach right back. The look on her and DH's faces were priceless, for completely different reasons.

wabash15 · April 2019

@oklahomak
toast applause GIF

lovelikestardust · April 2019

@Allycat11 Oof that's terrible, sorry it happened, but hopefully your hubby will clear it up sooner rather than later? Though I have to say, I am in awe of the fact that you didn't just blow up. My rage would have been epic.

@wabash15 @thirdtimesacharm2019 I have no idea why people seem to lose their filters around pregnant women. It's infuriating. And then it gets worse if you respond with something other than laughter/acceptance, and they're like, "oh, hormones getting you?" No, you're just an a**hole, thanks.

My MBF is bras. My pre-pregnancy ones aren't fitting quite right anymore, all the maternity/nursing ones I've been able to try on have no underwire and/or aren't supportive enough or just plain aren't comfortable, and I definitely don't want to just buy new non-maternity/nursing bras, knowing that my size is likely to change more. I'm just so frustrated.

wabash15 · April 2019

@lovelikestardust have you looked at the bravado nursing bras? I have found the body silk seamless to be very comfortable, supportive and flexible enough to transition through different sizes.... They don't have underwire (as your not supposed to wear underwire for at least 8 weeks post partum to help prevent clogged ducts) but They supported me well at a 36F-G (I had been a 32D pre pregnancy, and went back to that late in nursing and was still able to wear the same bra)

elizabeth_1985 · April 2019

@wabash15 and @thirdtimesacharm2019 I'm getting similar comments. Someone asked me today if I was "done." He said women get tired the last 2 months....I still have 4 more months, buddy.

When people ask me when I'm due, I say August. But, it's my third and my body gave up. They usually stop talking then. Haha

cato99 · April 2019

I have the most shameful MBF that isn’t only petty but also ungrateful! This afternoon I had my OB appt and I’ve been SO disciplined about exercising etc and trying to keep my weight in check. But there were circumstances that put me in a position of eating a way bigger saltier lunch than usual (long story short someone brought me food personally and it would have been hellishly rude to refuse or defer) so I wound up weighing in at 3 lbs higher than an accurate count and it’s SO PETTY and SUCH AN INSIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE but I am SO BUMMED that that’s on my record!

lovelikestardust · April 2019

@wabash15 I have seen them online, but haven't been able to find a place near me that carries them for me to try on. But I'm frustrated enough that I'll take that recommendation and run with it to order online! Thanks!

Allycat11 · April 2019

@thirdtimesacharm2019 thank you for the heads up! I am definitely going to have him do some research before calling our insurance company. Update: just gave him.the heads up and he is planning to just fix it without involving our insurance company.

As for comments on size there is never a good reason to comment on the size of a pregnant woman. I am shocked that I have not gotten comments yet, baby is measuring 10 days ahead, this is my third baby and I am only 5'0" with nowhere for the baby to go....so I look huge right now. While I am dreading the heat I am thankful that I do not need to put on shoes or a million layers during third tri and will not need to navigate icy parking lots or brush of my car like I didnwith the other 2.

purplg8r · April 2019

@Allycat11 ugh! What a rough weekend!

@wabash15 @thirdtimesacharm2019 I really don’t understand why people don’t have a filter!

@oklahomak go you! I would have laughed so hard!

@lovelikestardust I went up in bra size early on and found $5 dollar bras at Walmart that I actually liked do I grabbed several!

I’m having a shitty day and just want to rant. Sorry that it’s so long

My day started off with a flat tire. I took H’s car and he texted me later to say he fixed it. I’m hoping that means he got a new tire and not that he just put the spare on it.

Then I learned that at school they are moving me from my big classroom to a portable. The portable is much much smaller and doesn’t have an office. First of all, I am not able to physically move anything this summer. And they always make you move your own stuff. So I don’t know how that’s going to work. Second of all, I don’t know where I’m going to put all of my stuff in this tiny portable. It’s such a crappy situation. I’ve been there since the school opened it so you would think that I might have some kind of seniority but no. Third of all, I had asked him earlier in the spring if I could just leave my whole classroom set up over the summer in case I deliver early or have to be on bed rest, and I would still be ready to go. He told me that would be fine. The portables are the last to be cleaned and often aren’t ready until pre-planning week (which would be 2 weeks before my due date). And then when we had to pack up our rooms to have our classrooms painted over spring break, I’ve already unpacked all the boxes afterwards. I could’ve just left everything packed up. But now I’ve thrown away all the boxes and don’t have anymore. I also don’t know where I’m going to pump since the portables don’t have an office. You can see right in through the front door and we’re not allowed to cover at the glass on the door for safety reasons.

Allycat11 · April 2019

@purplg8r ugh, that sounds like a very frustrating situation.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@elizabeth_1985 I would love to know what he meant by “done”... like, sure, I’ll just evict this tiny, helpless, half-baked person for my own personal comfort...

jrm_14 · April 2019

@purplg8r Ugh, that’s so many crappy things in one situation.

I dropped a brand new cup a friend gave me Friday. It broke & ice went went ALL over my office & the hallway.

Work shit. Uncompassionate jerks. I was told today that I will likely have to use paid leave as I accrue it for after baby. This means I will have to work Christmas Eve & the day after Christmas bc I won’t have any time left. “It’s just one of the things you have to deal with.” F* you.

mamamias · April 2019

Just came home from booking all the prenatal classes and everything including the hospital tour is scheduled for July. Since DS was born 3 weeks early, I am having a mini freak out if I can keep these dates. I seriously hope this one cooks inside until August 1st at least. FX

goldfishcraker · April 2019

@Allycat11 aww man! I'm sorry about the tree!

@purplg8r wow that seems so unfair that they are moving you! It sounds like not everyone is getting moved? How did you get the short straw!?!

@cato99 I feel ya. I know it doesn't matter in the end, but it still sucks that circumstances ended up like that! But hey...at next weigh in, you/theyll be pleasantly surprised at least?

@oklahomak you are my hero!!! 🤣😂🤣😂

My BF is lame.
I'm sick. It's turned me into a huge suck. I actually started crying today. I've got insane acid reflux which is making me Uber nauseated (on top of the sore throat and nasty cough and low grade fever). I coughed so hard that I threw up this afternoon. I can't go to sleep because I can't lie down without having to grab my puke bucket. I can't prop up on pillows because my neck is so F'd up from a drunk driver hitting me when I was 7, that I can't handle the strain.
Tums aren't helping. Ginger isn't helping. Crackers seem to sort of briefly help ...but as soon as I cough again, it's back full force. And today, nothing is giving relief for this throat...
So..I'm whining.

Lotus_2008 · April 2019

@chillycanadian So sorry that you're dealing with sickness!

I came here to bitch about being sick too. Apparently I caught something from my niece who had been sick late last week. Haven't been able to keep down anything for the last 12+ hours. Was up on and off through the night with nausea. Ugggg being sick sucks!

aukeev · April 2019

@wabash15 @purplg8r @chillycanadian Thank you, thank you. I highly recommend that move if you find unwelcome hands on your belly, ha! The look on my face was probably pretty bitchy, but I guarantee she won't be touching another woman's bump any time soon.

@cato99 I don't think it's petty! You've been working hard, I'm sure it's frustrating to not see the number you want when you know you're there!

@Allycat11 Summer pregnancy doesn't seem like the worst thing to me, either! I would think it's much easier to find flowy dresses and cute sandals that fit and are comfortable than pants, sweaters, fitted boots and big coats! Not to mention, we all have the perfect excuse to spend extra time lounging by the pool with our bumps unrestricted this summer

@purplg8r Ugh, that is awful! Do you feel it is set in stone? Legally (if they have more than 50 employees, I believe?) they have to provide a private place to pump that is not a bathroom. Maybe that point could get you back in your classroom? Obviously I have no idea what the situation is, but maybe worth a shot?

@jrm_14 Those type of incidents can really ruin your day! Maternity leave in the US is laughable (with most employers, anyway). I'll be exhausting my sick and vacation time before taking FMLA, as well, but thankfully my office is closed on days like Thanksgiving and the following day and December 24-26.

@chillycanadian I don't have any other suggestions to help with the reflux, but I'll be hoping it passes soon!

wabash15 · April 2019

@chillycanadian and @Lotus_2008 I hope you both feel better soon
@purplg8r well that's crap. Sorry you have to move rooms.
@jrm_14 I feel you. I have to use FMLA and my PTO concurrently (which I think is total BS) and without the PTO my leave would be completely unpaid. So I have not taken a day off since I found out I was pregnant and wont be able to for a while after i come back from leave because I will have used it all. oh yah and I'm on call 24/7/365 so I can't even guarantee I have weekends off...

my TBF... we were given this "gluten free" (the top of the container says GF) coconut based whipped topping for my DD... We used it to make a parfet for her... well it turns out its processed in a facility with gluten. WTF!!! this makes it NOT GF. sigh... so I nearly glutened my kid, thank goodness DH read the label more closely

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

I know it’s not Monday, but I’m feeling bitchy. Just left my 24 week appointment, baby is great, mom has gained 11 lbs in the last 4 weeks. I’ve carried large before, but this has me feeling all kinds of pissy. I wish a MF would say something about my size today... 😡😡😡

wabash15 · April 2019

@thirdtimesacharm2019 i am not looking forward to my appointment friday and seeing how much i've gained...

cato99 · April 2019

Yeah this is the time of pregnancy where weight seems to kick into high gear for a lot of people? With or without the extra numbers from my MBF above, more than half of my total weight gain this pregnancy has been in the last 5 weeks.

And I’m getting threatening notes on my employee website all “you are at or approaching your maximum vacation accrual” and like yes you automated monster, I have to hoard it for maternity leave. Last time a well-meaning HR person emailed me around this time to ask if I wanted to donate some vacation time to someone else “in need” and like... first of all that person in need should be given proper support by the institution, not fellow underpaid employees giving up their meager accruals, secondly I’m about to deplete every second of my time off so no?

(And I’m one of the LUCKY ones in the US: by cobbling together PTO vacation FMLA etc I wind up with 3-4 months fully paid leave. Many people don’t get anywhere near that!)

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@cato99 this will be my first paid maternity leave, but I would be a little peeved if someone asked me if I wanted to donate my time. It’s miiiinnnnnneeeee. Lol. I worked hard for it!!!

sourlemon · April 2019

I'm also gaining a lot right now no matter how careful I am with eating. Its just one of those things that I just have to accept and know Ill just have to work after the kid is born...but it doesnt make me feel much better about it! I hate it actually.

I also have to hoard as much PTO as possible. This one will be weird because Ill use up all my sick leave, then need to take some advanced (borrowed) sick leave (that is the fed govt's maternity "leave") to reach 8 weeks after the baby born, then take all of my annual leave after that. That will all be paid, but only gets me to about 12 weeks and Ill owe 4 weeks of sicks leave back which will take me about 18 months to catch up. After that, I may take unpaid FMLA. I'm undecided still and will play that by ear.

brianalee2984 · April 2019

I'm going to jump on the maternity leave train, even though it isn't Monday anymore.

Where I work, you can take 6-12 weeks off for maternity leave but it is ENTIRELY unpaid. If you have the few (4) vacation days that you get per year, you can use those but otherwise you're screwed. I work in a school type setting, and they don't hire anyone to work in your classroom, otherwise I would be a LITTLE more understanding.

I plan on taking a full 12 weeks because it is super important to me to have that time to bond with my baby and my SO is being more than supportive and thankfully we have a plan in place on paying bills etc. during that time.

But how can you have a building of women, seriously 18 women work here not a single man, and not have some sort of paid maternity leave?!?

agpandme · April 2019

Honestly as much as I hate it, I'm glad to see comments about weight gain. I am STRUGGLING today. My favorite pants are much too tight in the thigh right now. I'm wearing them anyway in desperate hopes that the dryer just shrank them. I have stuff I need to do today but mentally I'm devastated. I KNOW this is temporary. I know I have 17 weeks left until I can be more active. Clothing that doesn't fit comfortably is one of my biggest triggers for a depressing moment so I'm really not happy today. My stuff can wait so I've kind of decided to just sit on my deck and listen to the birds. Otherwise I'm definitely going to cry. Appointment on thursday to see just how much weight I've gained. I dont' even want to look at the scale. I gained 7 lbs in a month at my last appointment.

wabash15 · April 2019

@agpandme I will say that for me adjusting to the post partum body is the hardest. My body likes to hang on to the weight when I am BF. I try to remind myself that it took 9 months to get to where i was and it takes that long or longer for most of us to get back to where we were (if we ever get there).Try to remember your body is doing an amazing thing, growing a baby and these changes are a sign of the amazing thing we can do.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@agpandme *hugs* I get it on the clothes too. It makes me sick to think I’ll have to buy another round of maternity clothes to make it through the end of July... it may be the same outfit twice per week with a mid-week wash! I’d rather be buying baby clothes.

jrm_14 · April 2019

@thirdtimesacharm2019 I have about 6 work shirts & 2 pairs of pantsI am rotating through. I’m sure everybody thinks I wear the same thing every week - & I do - but at least it’s always clean. I’m over buying maternity clothes.

agpandme · April 2019

Thank you ladies

I am trying really hard to put this into perspective and carry on. Truthfully I have never wanted children and I adore this little boy so much already for someone that didn't want to do this. I know its worth it and I'll get over it in time. I decided to put on shorts and get a tan while I'm commiserating with myself. I also have a wedding to go to in a couple weeks. Using Amazon Wardrobe since I live rural with little access to maternity clothes. All of your comments about having limited clothing is seriously making me feel so much better! I am down to a handful of pants and leggings and I have 6 maternity shirts now. I insisted we stop to get more when we were out of town on friday.

This is the mondayist tuesday ever!

MollyH1987 · April 2019

My company pays for 6 weeks at 100% if a vaginal delivery and 8 weeks if a C-section. I want to take at least 8 weeks regardless so I'm saving up my PTO in case I need to use two weeks of vacation.

@cato99 I wouldn't give someone my time in that situation either. You're building it up for yourself!

I also have a limited stockpile of maternity clothes that I just keep rotating in and out of the wash. I'm sure I'll have to at least buy another pair of maternity work pants eventually as well as more summer tops.

purplg8r · April 2019

@chillycanadian I got the short straw because I’m next to a kindergarten teacher and they’re putting a kindergarten class in my room. Ugh. Reflux and a sore throat definitely don’t go together

@oklahomak I talked to a teacher today who is in a portable and wax BFing earlier this year. She said she put up a do not enter sign and used a cover.

mkrel · April 2019

Add me to the packing on the pounds train. The scale just keeps climbing lately.

I also stress about taking any PTO since it’s less paid time I’ll have after giving birth. I have been forced to use some for being sick and we planned a few mini trips with one day off. It’s hard though knowing how much you need it. I wish I worked somewhere with better leave, but unfortunately that isn’t the case!

jmesue1030 · April 2019

I’m self-employed so there is no paid maternity leave for me. I plan to take 8-10 weeks off and that will greatly effect our finances and my work... I work in private practice mental health counseling so I’ll likely lose a lot of clients over that time period. Working hard now and trying to save so I can enjoy my time off!

I haven’t weighed myself lately but I can tell I’ve been gaining a lot lately. At my last appointment (20wks) I was only 10lbs from where I was when I delivered DS. I’m having a hard time not comparing myself to my last pregnancy... I hate to even admit that I care so much but I guess this is what society does to us as women!

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