Weekly Questions 4/21

purplg8r · April 2019

What questions do you have this week?

elizabeth_1985 · April 2019

I'm a TTM, but first time boy mom. My husband is very pro-circumcism, so that is the way we are planning to go. My questions- How hard is the recovery? How hard and long is the care? It makes me super nervous...

olivemomma · April 2019

@elizabeth_1985 this will be boy 2 for me and my first was circumcised. Like you, I was also very nervous about caring for it properly. However, I found it pretty simple - after the procedure we were given several tubes of ointment and told to place a large amount on any time the diaper was changed to prevent any sticking and to ensure it stayed clean. I remember about 1 week total for healing but it never caused any problems or tears for my little man.

law_and_little1 · April 2019

@elizabeth_1985 -- Sorry, no answer for you. I'm a FTM having a boy and also giving thought to the circumcision choice.

My question to add: has anyone switched doctors more than halfway through pregnancy? Mine only delivers at one location and I might want to deliver somewhere else. How was the switch for you? I don't know if it is even a thing for a doctor to start seeing a brand new patient at like 25 weeks.

Beauxbaton · April 2019

Re Circ care - both of my son's circumcisions were done with the plastibell method. Everything was fine. We didn't even have to put Vaseline on it or anything like that. It is supposed to fall of in like 7-10 days. DS1 took two weeks. DS2 I think took 5 days. Then never had any issues after that.

@law_and_little1 I switched doctors at 28 weeks with my first. I stayed in the same clinic because there is something like 7 doctors there. It went great. I'm still with the same doctor that I switched to. But if you LOVE your doctor then I wouldn't suggest changing unless they place they deliver has some serious serious draw backs.

BigBadWolf12 · April 2019

@law_and_little1 not the same medical system, but it is routine here to have regular pregnancy checkups done by a midwife. Then when you deliver, a different team of midwives are there, plus an OB if necessary. So here it's totally normal to change care professionals at the end, but it's obviously built into their recording and documentation system, so hopefully someone in the states has experience for you.

wanderlustsoul · April 2019

Should I be concerned I’m not gaining enough weight? I never get to weigh myself as I don’t own a scale and my midwife never weighs me. Our Airbnb had a scale this weekend so I checked and I’ve lost .3 kgs since I was last weighed 1 month ago. That means I’ve only gained 1.5 kgs this pregnancy. I’ll mention it to my midwife and see if she says anything at our next appointment but that’s not until May 6. I eat all the time (pretty decently) but I also indulge a lot in popsicles and my mini chocolate bars so I’m definitely not under-eating or anything. Maybe I should just shut up and be happy and/or the weight will pour on in the next few months lol.

BigBadWolf12 · April 2019

@akuzreve unless you started out underweight, I probably wouldn't worry. .3kg might even be within the range of "different scale calibration"? Idk. We also don't have a scale. But I gained 9kg this pregnancy so far.... I gained 10-12ish the whole pregnancy last time, so I'm already close to that lol 🙈 but im also starting this pregnancy 15+kg less than I started last one, so I'm sort of chalking it up to that (and that I can't stop eating unhealthy snacks....)

lovelikestardust · April 2019

@AKuzReve FTM here so I'm no expert, but I'd guess there's no reason to worry if your care team hasn't brought it up. Definitely ask at your next appointment though! I started on the small side, lost 15ish lbs over the course of the first trimester, and have slowly been gaining it back. I've now gained past where I was at my first OB appointment at 12 weeks, but not quite back up to my pre-pregnancy weight. My doctor is happy with my progress though and reassures me that baby was never at risk, so I try not to let myself get too anxious about it. If you're really worried about it maybe call just to check, since your next appointment isn't for a while?

olivemomma · April 2019

@AKuzReve I wouldn’t be too concerned as long as your OB isn’t. A lot of ladies gain their weight the last 15-20 weeks. My first 2 pregnancies I was only breaking even or so at 20 weeks after losing weight the first trimester. I more than made up for it the second half.

Allycat11 · April 2019

@elizabeth_1985 DS was circumcised and recovery was a breeze. Just had to put vaseline and a tiny square of guaze on at each diaper change for 5-7 days, then it healed. His circumcision healed faster than his cord/navel.

@AKuzReve I wouldnt worry unless your midwife tells you to worry. I am up 3lbs this pregnancy and actually lost 1 between my last 4 week checkups. My OB said no reason to concern unless baby is not growing properly (currently measuring 10 days ahead) or if I am not keeping food down. Disclaimer: I had plenty of weight to spare. If you started underweight it may be more concerning.

wabash15 · April 2019

@akuzreve as long as your measuring where you should be its OK. some people only gain 5kgs in a pregnancy and others gain 25 or more.... also some gain the weight early on and others gain it at the end.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@elizabeth_1985 This will be my third boy and circumcision was no big deal. The hospital will give you instructions on aftercare, but it’s pretty simple. With both of mine it was one of the last things they did before we were discharged.

@AKuzReve Ahhhh, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side! I’ve gained a good bit already (+20 lbs at my 20 week appointment and my 24 week is tomorrow, so we shall see what that number is - I don’t weight between appointments or I would be totally obsessed). I gained 60 with DS1 and 69 with DS2, but since I started larger this time I wasn’t anticipating this much additional weight. I’m a little nervous about where I’ll end up this time. But like everyone else said, what’s normal for one person may not be for another and as long as your baby is growing and your doctor isn’t concerned be glad you can keep some of the aches and pains away for longer!

sourlemon · April 2019

@thirdtimesacharm2019 I'm closer to you on the weight gain "abilities". My doctor hasnt said anything about it yet being too much but did say at the last appointment "I see you've gained 5 pounds this month" but didnt say anything beyond that.

My first pregnancy, at 28 weeks my doctor laid into me that I was gaining too much weight (I had gained 15 pounds and started at a perfect weight). I've always been so worried about it since then. I ended up gaining 45 total with that pregnancy. Lost 25-30 of that before getting pregnant again (2 years later) then gained 45 with that pregnancy too. I lost almost all of it before I got put on this heart medication and had real exercise restricted. I gained 35 pounds back over the first 9 months on medication. So I started this pregnancy higher than ever before and was hoping to keep the gain down. But....its a struggle. I am not allowed to work out (walking still ok but its hard with an irritable uterus not to freak out) and even though I dont over-eat, I'm still gaining weight. I think so far I'm between 15 and 20 pounds. I wouldnt be surprised if I gained about 45 again. It just seems to happen with me.

I'll work my butt off to lose the weight after this kid. This is my last kid and I'd like to get back to where I feel confident within 2 years. 2 years may seem like a long time, but I wont be allowed to do any real working out for almost a year due to the risk with my heart. I can walk...but walking is so boring lol. So it'll be diet more than anything.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · April 2019

@sourlemon I like how you call it an “ability”, really puts a positive spin on things!! I was in the best shape of my adult life before I got pregnant this time (not the smallest I’ve ever been, but I was exercising everyday, cardio health was good) and I’m looking forward to getting back there.

elizabeth_1985 · April 2019

Thanks for the replies everyone! Google was saying baby would be fussy after circumcism. And you could double diaper and place an ice pack between the layers. I was just worried about taking care of him (and me) all at the same time. I thought everyone was just going to have ice on their privates...

Allycat11 · April 2019

@elizabeth_1985 of course everyone's experience will vary, so take this with a grain of salt but DS was not fussy at all after. He was back in our room very quickly with no signs of crying (he did cry a tiny bit right when it happened but not prolonged). He nursed right away when he came back and was his usual chill self. The only time pain seemed like an issue was the first 2-3 days when changing his gauze, no crying but just a face of discomfort.

emqbee · April 2019

Anyone experiencing belly button pain? It’s driving me nuts! It started out as a twinge here and there and now the twinge stays for a while

wabash15 · April 2019

@emqbee in later pregnancy my belly button gets SO sensitive, any touching of it is very painful. Over the weekend when I over did it with yard work, it was super painful but is better for now.

emqbee · April 2019

@wabash15 like sensitive on the outside? This is internal. It’s odd, almost like my belly button is attached to a sore muscle or something. Guess it’s onenof those weird quirky pains to get used to!

wanderlustsoul · April 2019

Thank you all! I appreciate your insights. My midwife never ever weighs me but I’ll mention it next appointment. To be honest, I was afraid to weigh myself since I’ve been indulging more than I probably should. I think the next few weeks I will gain a lot of weight and it'll balance out and I’ll be complaining the other way. While not underweight before, I was pretty thin but I think he’s growing based on how my bump is growing!

goldfishcraker · April 2019

Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a doula? Or regretted choosing to hire one/the expense?

wabash15 · April 2019

@chillycanadian I have not heard of any negative experiences. (though I'm sure there are one or two out there) we loved having a doula last time. my doula team was not available for this pregnancy so I had to find a new one. We love the one we picked though she is definitely more expensive than last time

goldfishcraker · April 2019

Thanks @wabash15! I've never heard of anyone who regretted it. But my sample size is small haha

mrosek91 · April 2019

@chillycanadian, since no one is answering your question as you intended, I'll second @wabash15 and say it was a great decision. This time around I told DH I wasn't sure we should use her since I'm "experienced" I didn't know how we would justify the expense.
He looked at me like I was crazy, and said of course we're using her again. She makes you feel better, and that's worth the expense.

bluebonnet15 · April 2019

FTM here. I’m sure this is something that will be covered by my doctor at later appts, but just curious about “laboring at home.” It seems to be part of everyone’s birth plan and sounds good to me because I know once you check in at the hospital, you can’t have anymore food. But, curious as to how long any STM+ labored at home/at what point do you decide it’s time to go?

wabash15 · April 2019

@heml usually they say to labor at home until contractions are 4-5min apart and you can't talk through them any more... I've never had the opportunity to labor at home since my first was a scheduled C, my second I was GBS+ and leaking fluid. This time I hope I can hang out a home for a while.

goldfishcraker · April 2019

@mrosek91 thank you! And oh my gosh your husband is such a sweetheart!!!! 🥰

Allycat11 · April 2019

@heml the general rule is contractions 4-5 minutes apart. The night before my water broke with DD I went to the hospital with back labor that I couldnt time but was sent home because my contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. The following morning my water broke and contractions stopped so I showered, went to lunch and then headed to the hospital. I arrived about 2 hours after my water broke. With DS my water broke at 2:30 a.m. and contractions were immediately 2 minutes apart so we got to the hospital asap after FIL came over to watch DD.

cato99 · April 2019

@heml your doctor/hospital/birth class will have a guideline they'll recommend. 5-1-1 is pretty common (contractions are 5 minutes apart, last one minute, and you keep that rhythm steady for 1 hour) but my hospital is a little more hands-off and said 4-1-2 (closer to four minutes apart, last one minute, and you keep that rhythm steady for 2 hours). This is as long as your water hasn't broken--if your water does break you want to call the hospital for advice. Even if you're not having contractions you want to plan to head to the hospital soonish (but not immediately--like @Allycat11 you could have lunch, take a nap, etc) because the loss of amniotic fluid will eventually be a problem. (That's what happened to my mom with all of her births; her water broke without going into labor otherwise, so after a while she had to have pitocin to get things going.)

Having the 5-1-1 or 4-1-2 guideline in mind is helpful because on one hand labor is hard and scary, so there can be a push to rush to the hospital before it's necessary and the guideline can help counteract that instinct, but on the other hand if you're really gung ho about laboring at home as long as possible (but don't want a home birth), without that guideline you could wind up with a car or parking lot birth! Having those numbers was super valuable to me as something to focus on obsessively during labor at home. I had an app to time them.

BTW those were the numbers they gave me as a FTM, when labor is statistically slower. At my intake appointment for this pregnancy I was warned that second labors can go way faster so I shouldn't wait too long to contact or head to the hospital. I don't know exactly what that means so I will follow up with my doctor closer to the time--maybe there's a different set of numbers for STMs?

aecm · April 2019

@heml I’m probably in the minority, but I enjoyed laboring at the hospital, lol. I has directly admitted from my OB’s office, so I never had to make the call about when to go in, but FYI they MIGHT let you eat after you’re admitted. Depends on the hospital policy. I was allowed to eat a steak dinner while I was having consistent contractions every 3-4minutes. That said, I wouldn’t recommend eating so much...total rookie mistake, it all came back up in the end. And plus also when the contractions get intense, food will be the last thing on your mind.

mrosek91 · April 2019

@heml I'll just second what everyone else said about 5-1-1. It's standard to see it on birthplans, but it ends up being more of an issue if your water breaks. When the water breaks the doctors tend to be very conservative and want you monitored, and will often try to start intervention right away if contractions haven't started. Nautral birth advocates tend to tell you to not tell your doctor if your water breaks if you want to try and kick start labor nautrally. If your water hasn't broken and your contractions haven't got to the 5-1-1 mark, many hospitals will send you home again if you go in.

law_and_little1 · April 2019

All this talk about not being allowed to eat at the hospital makes me realize that being hungry is one of my biggest anxieties about labor! HA!

bluebonnet15 · April 2019

Thanks all for the insight! @mrosek91 @aecm @cato99 @Allycat11 @wabash15
We’ve got our birth class at the beginning of June, so I assume they’ll drill that timing home.

I know, @law_and_little1 I just can’t imagine not being able to eat for 12+ hours.

purplg8r · April 2019

I can’t remember if we had a thread on this but I need babymoon help. I’ve narrowed it down to what I want but need location ideas!!

Ideally, we’d love to go to a luxury resort on/near the beach that has a great pool (bonus points if there’s a lazy river or something fun like that), a pool bar for hubby (and virgin drinks for me!), and a spa that does maternity/prenatal massages. Does anyone have any suggestions?

olivemomma · April 2019

I went in when they were a steady 4 min apart. Found out when I arrived the hospital won’t admit you until your are at 4cm. Well after hours and hours I had made it a whopping 2 centimeters. They told me I was welcome to stay and walk around but I couldn’t be admitted to a room until I reached 4. Yea I wasn’t so thrilled about that. We went back in a few hours later when they were lasting 90 seconds and less than a minute apart and I could not take it any longer. They said I was just shy of 4 and I told them if they don’t admit me now I’m going to sue (yea not my finest moment). But they did admit me

Lesson: find out your hospitals policy on admission.

cato99 · April 2019

@purplg8r there’s definitely a thread on this somewhere! Maybe a GTKY? Sounds like an all-inclusive in the Caribbean or Mexico (or Hawaii, but that’s farther to fly and could be uncomfortable when pregnant) would hit the spot, which is a kind of baby moon I know many people have loved! The only place like that I’ve been was for our honeymoon, the Regents in Turks and Caicos, and it was awesome.

I’m generally not a beach/beach drinks/lazy river person but swimming and prenatal spa-ing are right up my alley (plus hiking), so in case it’s helpful here are some resorts (mainly in California where we are) I have loved:

-Bernardus in Carmel Valley (that’s where we did our baby moon)
-Fairmont Grand Del Mar in San Diego
-Tahoe Ritz-Carleton (I like going to ski destinations in the summer because the hiking is great)
-The Wigwam in Phoenix
-the Claremont Fairmont in Berkeley

and then a few in Napa Valley but why go there when you can’t drink wine?

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