@chichiphin AH. I actually can help w/ that bc I suffered with the same and tweeted angry tweets at twitter who never responded but friends did with helpful advice and it finally stopped BUT I have to go teach a class and I don't remember what I did so I need to go back to those tweets. I will be back in a bit to help you with that bc I FEEL YOU I was... really so so angry/upset every time I opened the app and even more pissed that there's no settings section on IG to make it stop? I'll dm you when I'm done class to let you know what I did to make it stop.
@chichiphin I'm so sorry for your loss. Your feelings are completely valid and normal. I'm a little over a month out after my D&C and I still feel like my feelings are everywhere. One day I want to TTC and the next I don't want to even think of it. Sending hugs your way.
@sorarose I'm sorry about the confirmed loss and the D&C. Take care of yourself. I think the 2 month wait is standard. I was also told to wait 2 cycles but I'm thinking of maybe waiting 3 instead. Just to give me time to heal physically and emotionally but who knows, my mind changes like every other day. Sending you hugs.
@wanderlost sorry about your loss. I know it's hard to deal with all those emotions and if I could have locked myself up for 2 weeks I totally would have. There are days now where I feel like not interacting with anyone but I am feeling better as the days go by. Hope you do too. Sending you hugs!
we finally found out the gender and it was a gut punch. I knew it was a girl and I swear it was my only chance at a girl bc MH side is only boys. I know I should just want a healthy LO at this point, but holy sh*t that one hurt.
*TW: PG & LC* My mom passed away a few years ago. Her two best friends are my “aunties”. Their daughters both became pregnant at the same time as me & we were all due around the same time this month. When I had my loss at 18 weeks I confided in both of my aunties, as they had both experienced traumatic late losses or stillborns and could support me. They said they had been so excited that we all were going to have the next generation of grandbabies at the same time, that it was like they were still going through something along with my mom. Well, one of their daughters had her baby 10 days ago (you might remember I mentioned this before) and I just saw the announcement that the other one had her baby today. I was due tomorrow. I’m happy for them but just bummed for me, selfishly. And numb. And like, wow, this chapter is really really over. Life moves on.
OK, I want to get back on track with being a contributing member & not just dumping all my emotions on you all. That was my second big vent this month, I just didn’t know what to expect with this milestone...it’s been a doozy. I know I don’t have to apologize, but I am sorry for just blasting it all out there. Ok, done with that hopefully!
@kagesstarshroom Nice job on the GTKY this week, everyone’s responses are great.
@Spartanrd4 I’m sorry this milestone time is hard for you too. It’s weird to have such an invisible pain, isn’t it?Hey, if you were on that baking show you could make so many things to help us all drown our sorrows.
@holly321 It’s old news by now but I’m sorry for your disappointment with CD1.
@kagesstarshroom Really sorry that the financials are that bad right now. MH & I were right there two years ago. The worst of the worst. Now we are on the other side of it—thank you Jesus!—with lots of budgeting and monitoring and small extra side gigs like tutoring. You will be just fine once you finish your dissertation & get offers. Just know this is temporary and take it day by day. Literally one day at a time if you have to. One tiny thing at a time will get you to the end goal, hang in there! Glad to read your update on job stability for awhile longer!
@_khaleesi Sorry the milestone week was so tough, but Hope the bday weekend was great!
@maserrano714 I’m alsonrrally sorry about your milestone this week, I hope you’re doing ok and feeling better overall, including the cold.
@omg1108 I hope things start looking up. You know I’ve been rooting for you since you joined us, I hope you get answers soon!
@wanderlost I’m so sorry for your loss & how rough it has been for you. I can totally relate to everything you put in your post—down to the rotting veggies. My life has been incredibly difficult as well—a lot of death & loss & hardship—but I just keep striving forward so people think it’s easy and charmed. I’m sorry this has to be another thing for either of us to add to our list of challenges. HUGS to you❤️❤️❤️
@sorarose I’m sorry for your confirmed loss, that was such a roller coaster you were on. Glad you’re feeling better physically. Hugs hugs hugs to you too.❤️❤️❤️
@chichiphin I’m so sorry. I hope you get your genetic testing results back super quick. That was a hard wait for me. I pray your results don’t show anything hereditary so you can feel great about trying again if and when you’re ready.
@keikilove I'm so sorry, that's so hard to deal with - you're welcome to vent as much as you need to. Big hugs from me. Hopefully someday the three of you will have 6 or 7 little ones of all different ages running around.
@keikilove Thanks for your kind words--and glad you liked the GTKY! I'm so sorry about those conflicting feelings that so many of us go through when we're both happy for those ppl we know but then sad for ourselves at the same time. Those feelings are totally okay and totally normal--I think the bigger picture problem is that births are celebrated and loss is shoved under the carpet. So while ppl we know are being showered w/ gifts, we're too often hanging with the dustbunnies, ya know? Sigh. I'm glad you felt comfortable to tell your aunties about your loss; I think it's special, despite the sadness of it, that they were able not only to listen but to be ppl whom you know would understand bc of their experiences. / We are def. still in deepity deep financial waters, but knowing I might have even the minimal grad student wage again in the fall is helpful, and every little bit counts. I still haven't heard back if they're allowing me to extend or not--they do really want me to teach this one class, though, so I am hoping they do and if not they can find a way to pay me to teach it anyway.
@ruby696 & @kagesstarshroom Thank you both so much, as always. I just want to hug you back right now.
I also realized that I never responded to the GTKY that I liked so much. As a couple of people have said, if I were on a reality show it would probably be something on Bravo--my mindless trash TV guilty pleasure. It would be Real Housewives of Somewhere, except that my girlfriends and I are hilarious all the time when we are together and not b****y to each other, and we all have real jobs, and most of us are working middle class (except for a couple who married hard-working men who earn lots of money and they look every bit the part of fabulous Real Housewives of Somewhere). There would definitely be lots of margaritas, mimosas, wine, bubbly--just lots of drinking in general. I miss my girlfriends!
@chichiphin I don't think there's much I can say that the others haven't already. So many hugs to you. Feel all the feelings and take all the time you need to feel them. There's no guide to handling loss. I hope you get some answers from your genetic testing. 💜
@keikilove I am so, so sorry you had to see those announcements. Hugs to you.
@ruby696 I hope your IUI went well. I have EVERYTHING crossed for you this cycle!
@kbrown2385 I hope you don't have to wait too long for your results and I am glad that your RE listened to you.
@Spartanrd4 announcements are such a gut punch, especially when they coincide with all our "should-haves".
@kagestarshroom I'm sorry you're struggling, especially with the financial situation. When I was laid off from a teaching job and subbing for two years, it gave me such anxiety. Hugs.
@holly321 I'm so sorry that your plans for this new cycle got derailed.
@shamrocandroll I know you were sick earlier this week. I hope that you're feeling better!
@_khaleesi I actually had to google Breckenridge. Ha. I knew it had to do with skiing, but thought it was on the East coast near me. Duh.
@maserrano714 I hope that you're feeling better. There are some nasty illnesses going around right now.
@omg1108 I'm sorry that your testing has been so frustrating.
@wanderlost that's good that everyone at the hospital was kind to you. I hope you're healing well.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 1 early miscarriage at 5 weeks 1 day
Status: TWW
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I am not hopeful about this cycle and neither is DH. Our timing was great, but it was great last cycle and nothing happened. *TW*
I also got a baby shower invitation for DH's cousin. I am completely dreading it along with seeing DH's family at Easter. We spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family, so I really can't avoid seeing them. There are so many KU ladies and young kids in the family, it's triggering so much anxiety. Not sure how I am going to respond if the "you need to get busy so *nephew'sname* can have a cousin" comment is made.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? If this cycle is a bust, I am going to call and make an appointment with a fertility specialist. I've made my peace with that and DH is finally receptive to it.
GTKY: Which reality TV show should you totally be on? (If there isn’t an existing one that suits you, make one up.) Definitely a dancing one! I'm nowhere near the skill level of professionals but I love to dance.
@chichiphin Of course you can join us, the more the merrier! And we don’t haze new friends like they really do on RH. Hahaha!
@emeraldduchess I’m so glad to hear that YH is on board with the thing you’ve come to peace with. It seems like all of us on the IF thread had to get to that point too, and then once you see an RE it’s usually super comforting, like you might figure out answers and get a plan for success. But of course I hope this is your successful take-home baby cycle before that point!
Re: TTCAL w/o 3/18
I'm extra angry/salty today. My instagram feed isn't helping. the algorithm needs to learn that I'm not preg.
married 11.1.14
ttc #1 since 5.18
bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone
d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks
bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI
little girl A born 3.26.20
@sorarose I'm sorry about the confirmed loss and the D&C. Take care of yourself. I think the 2 month wait is standard. I was also told to wait 2 cycles but I'm thinking of maybe waiting 3 instead. Just to give me time to heal physically and emotionally but who knows, my mind changes like every other day. Sending you hugs.
@wanderlost sorry about your loss. I know it's hard to deal with all those emotions and if I could have locked myself up for 2 weeks I totally would have. There are days now where I feel like not interacting with anyone but I am feeling better as the days go by. Hope you do too. Sending you hugs!
@chichiphin you were definitely not salty. It needed to be said! Also, hi we love you and miss you
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Also **tw**
married 11.1.14
ttc #1 since 5.18
bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone
d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks
bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI
little girl A born 3.26.20
@kagesstarshroom Nice job on the GTKY this week, everyone’s responses are great.
@Spartanrd4 I’m sorry this milestone time is hard for you too. It’s weird to have such an invisible pain, isn’t it?Hey, if you were on that baking show you could make so many things to help us all drown our sorrows.
@holly321 It’s old news by now but I’m sorry for your disappointment with CD1.
@kagesstarshroom Really sorry that the financials are that bad right now. MH & I were right there two years ago. The worst of the worst. Now we are on the other side of it—thank you Jesus!—with lots of budgeting and monitoring and small extra side gigs like tutoring. You will be just fine once you finish your dissertation & get offers. Just know this is temporary and take it day by day. Literally one day at a time if you have to. One tiny thing at a time will get you to the end goal, hang in there! Glad to read your update on job stability for awhile longer!
@_khaleesi Sorry the milestone week was so tough, but Hope the bday weekend was great!
@maserrano714 I’m alsonrrally sorry about your milestone this week, I hope you’re doing ok and feeling better overall, including the cold.
@omg1108 I hope things start looking up. You know I’ve been rooting for you since you joined us, I hope you get answers soon!
@wanderlost I’m so sorry for your loss & how rough it has been for you. I can totally relate to everything you put in your post—down to the rotting veggies. My life has been incredibly difficult as well—a lot of death & loss & hardship—but I just keep striving forward so people think it’s easy and charmed. I’m sorry this has to be another thing for either of us to add to our list of challenges. HUGS to you❤️❤️❤️
@sorarose I’m sorry for your confirmed loss, that was such a roller coaster you were on. Glad you’re feeling better physically. Hugs hugs hugs to you too.❤️❤️❤️
@chichiphin I’m so sorry. I hope you get your genetic testing results back super quick. That was a hard wait for me. I pray your results don’t show anything hereditary so you can feel great about trying again if and when you’re ready.
Eta: words
I also realized that I never responded to the GTKY that I liked so much. As a couple of people have said, if I were on a reality show it would probably be something on Bravo--my mindless trash TV guilty pleasure. It would be Real Housewives of Somewhere, except that my girlfriends and I are hilarious all the time when we are together and not b****y to each other, and we all have real jobs, and most of us are working middle class (except for a couple who married hard-working men who earn lots of money and they look every bit the part of fabulous Real Housewives of Somewhere). There would definitely be lots of margaritas, mimosas, wine, bubbly--just lots of drinking in general. I miss my girlfriends!
This is for @wanderlost. Your description of your "normal people" reality show reminded me of this short little clip I just saw.
married 11.1.14
ttc #1 since 5.18
bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone
d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks
bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI
little girl A born 3.26.20
@chichiphin I don't think there's much I can say that the others haven't already. So many hugs to you. Feel all the feelings and take all the time you need to feel them. There's no guide to handling loss. I hope you get some answers from your genetic testing. 💜
@keikilove I am so, so sorry you had to see those announcements. Hugs to you.
@ruby696 I hope your IUI went well. I have EVERYTHING crossed for you this cycle!
@kbrown2385 I hope you don't have to wait too long for your results and I am glad that your RE listened to you.
@Spartanrd4 announcements are such a gut punch, especially when they coincide with all our "should-haves".
@kagestarshroom I'm sorry you're struggling, especially with the financial situation. When I was laid off from a teaching job and subbing for two years, it gave me such anxiety. Hugs.
@holly321 I'm so sorry that your plans for this new cycle got derailed.
@shamrocandroll I know you were sick earlier this week. I hope that you're feeling better!
@_khaleesi I actually had to google Breckenridge. Ha. I knew it had to do with skiing, but thought it was on the East coast near me. Duh.
@maserrano714 I hope that you're feeling better. There are some nasty illnesses going around right now.
@omg1108 I'm sorry that your testing has been so frustrating.
@wanderlost that's good that everyone at the hospital was kind to you. I hope you're healing well.
@sorarose I am so sorry. So many hugs to you.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 1 early miscarriage at 5 weeks 1 day
Status: TWW
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I am not hopeful about this cycle and neither is DH. Our timing was great, but it was great last cycle and nothing happened. *TW*
Any testing coming up/any recent results? If this cycle is a bust, I am going to call and make an appointment with a fertility specialist. I've made my peace with that and DH is finally receptive to it.
GTKY: Which reality TV show should you totally be on? (If there isn’t an existing one that suits you, make one up.) Definitely a dancing one! I'm nowhere near the skill level of professionals but I love to dance.
@emeraldduchess I’m so glad to hear that YH is on board with the thing you’ve come to peace with. It seems like all of us on the IF thread had to get to that point too, and then once you see an RE it’s usually super comforting, like you might figure out answers and get a plan for success. But of course I hope this is your successful take-home baby cycle before that point!
@keikilove its so hard when life moves on for others and you are still stuck on what should have been