Ask a STM+ March

cindler · March 2019

I feel like I always start this thread. I just have so many questions!

cindler · March 2019

So this one is a minor question, but it's bugging me. We were fortunate enough to get a pack n play for really cheap from a friend. Before we knew we would get this one, I had registered for a new PNP. I specifically registered for one (Graco brand) that had a mesh insert that would act as a bassinet when LO was tiny. I can't seem to find anywhere that I can buy just the insert. Is that even a thing?

As a follow up, is it realistic to use a PNP with no insert as a place for LO to sleep around the house, especially when she's really little?

Cbeanz · March 2019

Here's a question for moms who have 4 close in age:

Can you describe your bedtime routine?

Right now the 6 and 4yos can listen to books/read, brush teeth together etc. And I'll rock the 2yo for a while and do books, and put her in the crib. They all go to bed around the same time ~8. How will we tagteam 4 including a newborn? And how do you orchestrate it when you're solo?

mamanbebe · March 2019

@cindler I think with Graco, you may be able to go directly thru them for accessories or parts but it could be specific to that particular pnp like many of their cool accessories are. But, you can have you LO sleep directly in a pnp or crib without a bassinet function. The only real challenge is if someone is recovering from a cesarean, bending down over the side of a crib or pnp is out of the question. I assume the main reason for the bassinet height is easy access to the baby, esp when they are parked next to your bed at night.

key33 · March 2019

@mamanbebe - I only ever really used our pack and play for sleeping with the bassinet insert and portable napper when my kids were newborns in the bedroom. They slept in the napper and I could keep diapers, ect in the bassinet part. I never had a c-section and I can’t imagine reaching all the way down to pick them up or out them in. I personally would never use a regular pack and play with a newborn because it’s just so amward.

The only time time I used my pack and play after the newborn phase was outside in the summer.

jenniferjoy37 · March 2019

@cindler We set up our PNP downstairs and used it mostly as a changing table AND a napping place when DD was a newborn. Once she started rolling over, we had to change it up a little. But it was one way to keep an eye on her if I needed to do dishes or something else while she was napping. I also had a CS and can’t imaging having to bend over to get her out of the PNP or a crib for that matter. We will still probably bring the PNP up for diaper changes for this baby, but for naps I want to get a Doc-A-Tot. My friend said with her 2nd, it saved her sanity.

nolemomma14 · March 2019

@cindler the PnP we had could be set at two different levels. The pad that came with it could be at the very bottom or could be set higher up. My first slept in the PnP for the first 2 months or so while it was on the highest setting. It also came with a small infant bassinet that sat right in the PnP, and we used that for naps a lot since I could set him in there or move it to wherever i was in the house since it was moveable

foodislove · March 2019

jenniferjoy37 said:

@cindler We set up our PNP downstairs and used it mostly as a changing table AND a napping place when DD was a newborn. Once she started rolling over, we had to change it up a little. But it was one way to keep an eye on her if I needed to do dishes or something else while she was napping. I also had a CS and can’t imaging having to bend over to get her out of the PNP or a crib for that matter. We will still probably bring the PNP up for diaper changes for this baby, but for naps I want to get a Doc-A-Tot. My friend said with her 2nd, it saved her sanity.

This exactly is how we used ours. Also looking at a dock-a-tot for this time around.

nopegoat · March 2019

@Cbeanz our kiddos are spaced the same, my boys are currently 8,6,4, and 2.

My oldest two bathe together and then get themselves dressed and then their stuff ready for the next day while I'm bathing the littles. They all get their vitamins then we brush teeth and read a book all together. The baby always tags along either in my arms/carrier or in laid on the floor or in swing nearby. I've also breastfed my newb while reading the bigs their book if need be. I bedshare for the first 6mos or so and cosleep for the first year so baby is the last to go to sleep.

Once my babies are about 1.5yrs old they get put to bed at the same time as the bigs and just like the bigs. Story and snuggles all together and then put in their crib, nightlight/sound machine on, and they fall asleep on their own. It takes a bit to get to that point but for everyone's sake it's the easiest thing to do.

I know it all seems super overwhelming right now, and some nights it is, but you'll find a new routine pretty quick.

mom2b77373 · March 2019

This is such a silly question lol, but since this is your second time around being pregnant how do you count your pregnancy weeks into months? The reason I ask is because I will be 25 weeks tomorrow which I thought was 5 months 2 weeks, but some of the websites I see would say I am already in my 6th month. I do not see my Dr. for another 3 weeks so I am curious how ya'll were told to count or are counting. And is there truly a right way?

Cbeanz · March 2019

@cindler you should be able to order replacement accessories straight from Graco. Enter the PnP model number on the website below or call and you should be able to buy a bassinet insert. I used the bassinet a ton in the newborn stage - it definitely saved my back from having to bend down a million times.

https://www.gracobaby.com/ReplacementPartsModelView?catalogId=65051&categoryId=76003&langId=-1&storeId=65051

Cbeanz · March 2019

@mom2b77373
Take the number of weeks and divide by 4.33 since there are 4.33 weeks in a month, on average.

25/4.33 = 5.77

So you completed 5 months and are 77% through month #6.

nopegoat · March 2019

@mom2b77373 I always use this graphic and tell people I am in my such and such month.

mom2b77373 · March 2019

@nopegoat see this is why I am confused b/c this is the chart I have been going off of. Your chart says I am 6 months almost 7. But I have been saying I am 5 months almost 6.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/2r/an4gowggkdn2.jpg

nopegoat · March 2019

@mom2b77373 the difference is basically just semantics. The one I posted shows what month you are IN. The one you posted tells the months you've COMPLETED.

runsoncoffee · March 2019

@cindler @jenniferjoy37 @foodislove we used the pack and play with dock a tot for 6 months with DS2! It worked out great! If by bassinet you mean the part that is raised so you aren't reaching to the very bottom of the PnP then yes, that's what we used, along with the dock. We are planning on doing the same this time around as long as baby will tolerate it. DS1 would not lay flat at all no matter how hard we tried.

hestia-is-wearie · March 2019

@mom2b77373 Thank you for asking this question! So many people (usually women my mom's age) ask me how many months pregnant I am, but I've only been counting weeks. Then they stare blankly at me and go, "So how many months is that?"

mom2b77373 · March 2019

I am still slightly confused. I am 25 weeks today, so I am still letting people know that I am in my 5th month. Plus, next week when I am 26 weeks I will be 6 months, which makes more sense to me since due date is July and 3 months away.

mamanbebe · March 2019

@mom2b77373 I think what you're thinking/saying makes sense.

kingdommom · March 2019

@cindler I bought a used PNP for our oldest. It also doesn't have the insert, but it does have a changing table and diaper holder. I love having it downstairs for almost the first year just to have something to change diapers on and also a place to nap once in awhile (the baby not me😜). My second was a csection and I didn't do stairs at first. But we also have a co-sleeper that can stand alone or attach to the bed. So we just brought that down so I wouldn't need to bend over. I'm sure you could find the bassinet insert on their website or something, but I have done fine without it!

Cbeanz · March 2019

@mom2b77373
You completed 5 months at 22 weeks. At 25 weeks you're 3 weeks into your 6th month. You will complete month 6 at 26 weeks and begin month 7.

Just like a kid who has turned 5 is in his 6th year, you're well into your 6th month.

Just divide the number of weeks by 4.3 if you're ever unsure where you are.

canuckmomma · March 2019

We used dock a tot in pack n play and raise the pack n play base to the higher setting. No really bending over.

leylea89 · March 2019

My question is a trigger warning in it’s entirety.

I’m a rainbow mom and now that the movement is consistent and I can interact with him, it’s getting real lol.

Did anyone else struggle with infertility/miscarriage prior to finally getting pregnant the first time? Is it normal to start freaking out that maybe I pushed so hard for my rainbow boy because I’m stubborn not because I wanted a baby?

I subsequently fear they were gonna be the worst mom ever because of it.

If so, how do you combat that fear? I’m almost 23 weeks so viability is just around the corner.

cindler · March 2019

Thank you for all the great responses! We are OAD and welcome all the gifts and hand me downs we can find! I'll have to pull out the PNP we got and see if the bottom will raise. I'll also grab the model number and see if I can get an attachment that will work. My plan is PNP upstairs since we'll spend a ton of time on the deck and can move it around the house. The crib is also upstairs. I'd like to then have a swing of some sort downstairs where our family room is so I dont have to pack crap around the house.

I appreciate all the insight from you ladies who have done this before.

ketomommy · March 2019

I had two losses before my DD. Honestly, I just did my best not to think about it until like 26 weeks. Once I hit 26 weeks I would think "well if something happens now there is a chance the NICU can save her." Each week I got more confident.

tsa208 · March 2019

@leylea89 We struggled with fertility, finally had a baby after 4 rounds of IVF. Definitely felt sometimes like we were just going through the motions - oh, it didn't work, let's try again - without giving it enough thought. Even now with this second pregnancy, sometimes both DH and I are like "WTF were we thinking - WERE we even thinking??" But all works out.

leylea89 · March 2019

@tsa208 yes exactly. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I just keep telling myself when he’s here I’ll be too in love to freak anymore.

@ketomommy I had multiple losses as well. Sometimes I can block it out but others I’m just really aware and a I think I obsess too much. It’s like a cross between wanting to be pregnant and wanting it to be over because I’m too anxious about it.

tsa208 · March 2019

@leylea89 Totally. I didn't have the OMG I LOVE HER SO MUCH feeling the moment she was born, but I definitely felt a protective feeling and just a sense of wonder and awe that she was finally here after all that time. The OMG I LOVE HER SO MUCH came a little later as we bonded and is overwhelmingly there now (she's 16 months)

I was honestly worried I'd be a "cold" mother before I had her, and now my husband laughs about the fact that I ever thought that.

Panaceia · March 2019

@leylea89 I was a hard core OAD er after DD was born. It is SO who pushed for a second. We had 2 pretty tough MMCs before this pregnancy. With both those losses I'm still not sure that I was in a place where I was convinced that a second child was what I wanted and I was mostly doing it for SO because I knew how much he wanted it. But with this one I knew beyond a doubt I wanted a second. And with DD I was like @tsa208 . I didn't have the immediate love and connection I thought I would. I felt immediate responsibility and protective instincts, but it took a little while for me to truly bond with her and feel that overwhelming love. But now she is my world. Even when she's being a jerk:)

greeneyedgirl12 · March 2019

Is it worth it/do I need to spring for "baby" hangers or can I go straight to children's?
The ones labeled "baby" at Target appear to be ~2" bigger than then kids ones I'm eyeing, and I know that's not a lot, but obviously baby clothes are small...

ketomommy · March 2019

You don't need them. I don't think I bought hangers for my two year old until recently. I ended up putting most of her stuff in the dresser it was just easier for me.

indulgentgypsy · March 2019

@greeneyedgirl12 I think it depends some on the size of your baby. Mine tend to be larger than average (8.8lbs 21in & 9.3lb 21.5in) so they skipped NB size and were in 0-3M size for 1 month. Kid hangers were fine for the 6-9M + clothes.

If you have a dollar store I think you can find a ton of hangers there. If not, they aren't that pricey and can be worth having.

greeneyedgirl12 · March 2019

@ketomommy @indulgentgypsy Thanks! I HATE the flocked/velvet ones and those seem to be most of the baby ones, but the ones I like come in kids AND they’re at BBB, so I can register for them. If I end up needing a couple packs of baby, I found some super cheap...

cindler · March 2019

Just sprung for 50 children's hangers at Shopko (not a major purchase, $10 total). Couldn't wait to set up her closet. I'm thinking I'll hang most of her clothes because that helps me see what's on them. I also hang pretty much everything I own, so that's my go to. Her dresser will probably be for diapers, blankets, bedding, etc.

Panaceia · March 2019

I never used baby or children's hangars. DD's clothes were always folded on shelves or in drawers. She is very picky about her clothes and has been dressing herself since she was 2 so hangars weren't practical for us since it has always been easier for DD to access drawers and shelves. So you cam definitely get away without them if you don't want them:) They do come in handy for jackets and coats though. I wish I had a few for those...but we make do with hooks for her right now.

mamanbebe · March 2019

I bought toddler/kid hangers for DS when he was a baby and it seemed mostly useful for organizing before he could dress himself. I stopped using them around 2.5 and now they just sit in storage.

nolemomma14 · March 2019

I’ve used kid hangers for my boys from the beginning. I hang everything except for onsies. Those i just lay flat in the dresser drawer. My boys are 4.5 and 2 now and all of their shirts and sweaters are on hangers. I’ll definitely be using hangers for this baby as well.

Bear14+ · March 2019

I'm with @nolemomma14 ... all of my kids shirts/sweaters get hung on kids hangers. Basically every shirt except pajamas.. I love them too because when I buy stuff for different seasons and also the next size up, I can hang them up in a section of the closet instead of in a drawer I never open...I've missed clothes sizes on accident from stuff in drawers.

gingermama46 · March 2019

Baby clothes question: should I be washing all the baby clothes or waiting until he arrives - I hear that some babies don't fit into newborn items so I wasn't sure which was best. Also, I already use the All detergent pods that are free/clear for sensitive skin. Will that work or is purchasing baby detergent necessary?

Cbeanz · March 2019

@samanthak46 any free/clear detergent is great and actually better for baby's skin than baby-scented detergent like dreft. I would personally wait to see how big your baby is before washing newborn-size stuff. You can wash the 0-3 month clothes beforehand since every baby will fit those at some point.

ketomommy · March 2019

@samanthak46 I washed all of the clothes before DD arrives. I did it because I was in a place that if none of it fit, I could buy more and donate those clothes. If you may need to exchange it, then don't. I just needed one less task once the baby got here. All should be fine. I like baby detergent because I think it takes the stains out better.

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