Alright I have a question for moms who have kids in kindergarten+ - I’m talking a bell rings and kids need to be there.
we are in the process of deciding where our kids will go to school as our oldest starts kindergarten this fall and decisions and deposits are due very soon. One of our options is probably the best education they can get in the city (maybe the state according to rankings - this school goes through 12th grade so the rankings are a little more clear). However, it’s a PITA to get to. It’s in the middle of downtown and at least a 20 minute drive each way and that’s assuming traffic is good and in the mornings we will inevitably be dealing with rush hour - so almost 2 hours each day. And we all know we will have brand new babies on board when school begins this year.
our other option I can literally walk to. It’s still a great school but only goes through grade 8 so it’s slightly harder to compare. The facilities and academics are great, but it’s 99% rich white kids whereas the other school offers as much diversity as I can find in a private school setting in our area.
I always said i would choose the best education that would expose my kids to cultural differences and the world at large as much as possible in their early years. However, I’m being drawn to the convenience of proximity!
so my question is - how much have you found having a schools proximity and convenience to be a factor in your daily routine, especially with multiple younger kiddos in tow? I know we will adjust to whatever we decide but I keep going back and forth qnd can’t get a clear head. Would love some input
@olivemomma My experience is strictly with public school, but close proximity means a lot to me. We moved two summers ago, as my oldest was starting middle school, and are within walking distance of our middle and high school. It’s been a life saver during those afternoons where you can’t be everywhere at once. I know for me if I had to undergo that much additional traffic my stress level would be through the roof before they even got to school!
@olivemomma I'm not much help but we are facing a conundrum with our twins... the closest schools have the most diversity but some of the worst scores in town. There are some other schools that we could open enroll in but they are across town and 95+% white but have some of the best scores in the state... Diversity is super important to me but so is quality of education....
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@olivemomma - We always said the same thing, and then last year when DD1 got into a very prestigious and very expensive private school for PreK, we took a hard look at the overall quality of life we would have when paying that kind of tuition. We ultimately decided after a lot of soul searching to stay the course and really hope for our parochial school. Ultimately, it came down to the community for us. Upon touring the schools, they also did not feel that different. The parochial school's proximity to our home helped, too. Of course, we're still waiting to see where she gets in because there is a lot of competitiveness and siblings get in first, so we'll see. But ultimately we had to think about what we wanted for the "whole child" experience and for our subsequent children as well. Finding out I was pregnant with #3 also played a role in our decision.
@wabash15 depending on why the school is low performing, your kids may do really well there and actually help to improve the school for all students. There's a growing body of research showing the best way to improve school performance is to integrate high and low risk students in the same school. This isn't exactly the article I wanted, but I will say most of the time, low risk students thrive in whatever school they attend and reap the benefits of diversity in lower performing schools which they don't get in homogenous schools--so whatever you choose, your kiddos will probably do great!
STM+ question: We're going to move DD (just turned 3) to the larger (slightly farther away bedroom) and get her a big girl bed. She's been sleeping in a toddler bed for a year. How far ahead should we make this change so she doesn't connect the dots that the baby is kind of evicting her?
@mwmiller4 I have no personal experience, as my 2yo is still in her crib, but I was JUST talking to my pediatrician about this since we’ll eventually need to evict her and I’m trying to figure out when to do it. She told me that she’s not convinced the whole “baby is stealing my bed” is really a thing...said she hasn’t heard of kids actually getting upset about it. Maybe someone with personal experience will refute that 😂 but now we’re not planning on kicking the 2yo out of her crib until we’re ready to use it - a couple months after the twins arrive (they’ll be in pack-n-plays in our room for a bit at first).
@mwmiller4 I don’t think you need a ton of time - I probably wouldn’t bring the baby home and move her to a new bed that day but honestly I think a couple of weeks or more than sufficient. Especially if you involve her in picking out a cool new big girl bed!
okay I have another question. Are any moms out there mini-van moms? Particularly the Odyssey or Pacifica. Do you love your car? I always told myself I would not be a mini-van mom. However, my highlander is just not going to cut it with 3 kids - I think I need a full size third row plus storage. I also want some bells and whistles like an entertainment system. It seems the cost to do all of this in a mini-van is SO much less than in a full size SUV that I just don’t think I can justify the difference. Plus I’m pretty sure I would eventually crash a car any bigger!
@mwmiller4 I wondered if the reason the closer schools had lower scores were because they had more at risk kids. Thankfully I have a bit of time before I have to decide. Thanks for the article. As for the bed moving thing we transferred the twins to toddler beds about 4-5 months before DD2 came, but that was mostly because I wanted time to adjust from crib to toddler bed and I was terrified about releasing the kracken from their pens. They took the transition really well (they were 2.5), this time around they will be moving to bunk beds and are so excited about it.
@olivemomma we have an odyssey. We never wanted a mini van but when #3 was coming we needed more space. we looked into 3 row SUV's but with the third row up the storage space was super small and we felt the 3rd row was often "cheaper/less well built/sturdy" than the other seats. The van is actually DH's primary vehicle and he LOVES it (if you had asked him 2 years ago he would never have said that was possible). the sliding doors are also a life saver with tight parking spots. we also felt like the odyssey had the best flexibility (number of anchors etc) for car seat placement.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@olivemomma we have a pacifica and love it. Got it about a year ago. It's actually DH who drives it 80%of the time...and he did all the research and picked it.
Any tips for pregnancy related insomnia? I can't seem to fall asleep any earlier than my normal time, but then usually one of the 3 or so times a night I get up to pee I have trouble falling back to sleep, which means I lose some sleep every night. I am yawning like 100 times a day. It's not like that extreme pregnancy fatigue from first tri, but it is just a general tiredness all the time.
@mwmiller4 I guess I'll be different and say move kiddo sooner rather than later. But not anything to do with the ''baby stealing my bed" thing. It's more to get the kid used to it before baby is born so they aren't being extra difficult ot disruptive. Some kids do really well with changes and some don't. So I like to give myself as much time as possible.
As far as all the school stuff goes we personally decided to go with the closest school. It's just our public school that we are.zoned for. I can't fathom spending more on elementary than I would for my kids college. Sometimes I wish I could, then I remember that there was only.one option in my town for schooling and it wasn't even good and that my husband went to a private school and we.both got into the same college. And we are probably both equally smart, just in different ways.
@wabash15 BUNK BEDS!!! I'm excited for them--I ALWAYS wanted bunk beds! But it was a hard no from my mom since I didn't share a room and was a crazy daredevil.
@aecm haha! I certainly hope not--I must say I'm very nervous about introducing all the changes (potty training, new room/bed--which will hopefully be exciting, new baby, new preschool) and want to do so slowly enough that she doesn't fight everything. Plus, she's my tiny little koala bear--we weren't sure we were going to get to have another baby and we're extremely close. When we found out this one was a girl, I asked my husband what would happen if the new baby doesn't like me as much as DD. And he responded "OH, LIKE A DADDY'S GIRL?! You're right. That sounds terrible!" He's been a good sport about DD's preferences but I know he's hoping to be new baby's favorite right off the bat.
@zamora_spin I'm still taking unisom or I'm up randomly like that. My doc said it's totally fine since it's an antihistamine. I do not have a minivan but everyone who gets them doesn't know how they managed without one. So they are either that amazing or a sophisticated brainwashing scheme...
@olivemomma I’m a (recently converted) Odyssey owner and I LOOOOOVE it. We actually considered the Highlander, but figured it would be impractical if we ended up with 3 kids in the long run (this was a couple months before I got pregnant...with twins...). Love the sliding doors, love all the storage space, love that it’s easy for everyone (even grandparents) to get in the back seat, love the way it drives / handles, and I have a feeling I’m really going to love the “magic seats” in the second row once we have three kids.
Fffc I read " highlander" and thought isn't that the show everyone watches? Then realized that's OUTLANDER. #tired #whoamikidding #iwouldhavemadethesamemistakeifiwasawake #popculturefail
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@olivemomma one thing to think about with the school that’s far away is after school things. What about conference night, music performances and other activities where you’ll have to go back to the school later that night? Or when you kid wants to have play dates with classmates?
@zamora_spin no advice but the exact same thing is happening to me. Add in when H gets home and comes to bed at 2am.
Re: Weekly Questions 2/17
we are in the process of deciding where our kids will go to school as our oldest starts kindergarten this fall and decisions and deposits are due very soon. One of our options is probably the best education they can get in the city (maybe the state according to rankings - this school goes through 12th grade so the rankings are a little more clear). However, it’s a PITA to get to. It’s in the middle of downtown and at least a 20 minute drive each way and that’s assuming traffic is good and in the mornings we will inevitably be dealing with rush hour - so almost 2 hours each day. And we all know we will have brand new babies on board when school begins this year.
our other option I can literally walk to. It’s still a great school but only goes through grade 8 so it’s slightly harder to compare. The facilities and academics are great, but it’s 99% rich white kids whereas the other school offers as much diversity as I can find in a private school setting in our area.
I always said i would choose the best education that would expose my kids to cultural differences and the world at large as much as possible in their early years. However, I’m being drawn to the convenience of proximity!
so my question is - how much have you found having a schools proximity and convenience to be a factor in your daily routine, especially with multiple younger kiddos in tow? I know we will adjust to whatever we decide but I keep going back and forth qnd can’t get a clear head. Would love some input
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2017/03/16/515788673/try-this-one-trick-to-improve-student-outcomes
STM+ question: We're going to move DD (just turned 3) to the larger (slightly farther away bedroom) and get her a big girl bed. She's been sleeping in a toddler bed for a year. How far ahead should we make this change so she doesn't connect the dots that the baby is kind of evicting her?
okay I have another question. Are any moms out there mini-van moms? Particularly the Odyssey or Pacifica. Do you love your car? I always told myself I would not be a mini-van mom. However, my highlander is just not going to cut it with 3 kids - I think I need a full size third row plus storage. I also want some bells and whistles like an entertainment system. It seems the cost to do all of this in a mini-van is SO much less than in a full size SUV that I just don’t think I can justify the difference. Plus I’m pretty sure I would eventually crash a car any bigger!
@olivemomma we have an odyssey. We never wanted a mini van but when #3 was coming we needed more space. we looked into 3 row SUV's but with the third row up the storage space was super small and we felt the 3rd row was often "cheaper/less well built/sturdy" than the other seats. The van is actually DH's primary vehicle and he LOVES it (if you had asked him 2 years ago he would never have said that was possible). the sliding doors are also a life saver with tight parking spots. we also felt like the odyssey had the best flexibility (number of anchors etc) for car seat placement.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Also I suddenly want a minivan.
As far as all the school stuff goes we personally decided to go with the closest school. It's just our public school that we are.zoned for. I can't fathom spending more on elementary than I would for my kids college. Sometimes I wish I could, then I remember that there was only.one option in my town for schooling and it wasn't even good and that my husband went to a private school and we.both got into the same college. And we are probably both equally smart, just in different ways.
@aecm haha! I certainly hope not--I must say I'm very nervous about introducing all the changes (potty training, new room/bed--which will hopefully be exciting, new baby, new preschool) and want to do so slowly enough that she doesn't fight everything. Plus, she's my tiny little koala bear--we weren't sure we were going to get to have another baby and we're extremely close. When we found out this one was a girl, I asked my husband what would happen if the new baby doesn't like me as much as DD. And he responded "OH, LIKE A DADDY'S GIRL?! You're right. That sounds terrible!" He's been a good sport about DD's preferences but I know he's hoping to be new baby's favorite right off the bat.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@zamora_spin no advice but the exact same thing is happening to me. Add in when H gets home and comes to bed at 2am.