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July 2019 Moms
Cbeanz
member
35+ Mamas check in
Cbeanz
member
Can we do another AMA check in because I'm feeling so old and tired and big and nothing will make me feel better like some commiseration. :-)
How old are you?
Other kids? Ages?
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to?
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)?
How old are you?
Other kids? Ages?
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to?
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)?
Re: 35+ Mamas check in
Three girls - 6, 4, and about to turn 2.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I caught some cold/virus and on top of being pregnant it's been awful. Hubs is basically overwhelmed caring for 3 kids solo. I can barely get out of bed. Ugh. And I'm just feeling way more "pregnant" than I should feel at 18 weeks. Got a long way to go... Unfortunately I'm afraid to have a 4th baby since we're already overwhelmed with the chaos of 3. So I'm not even looking forward to the birth that much. Just in a negative mental place right now.
My mom's in her 70s but really active. She lives out of state, about 9 hour drive away. We lost my dad before my third was born. My in laws are in town but their health prevents them from helping us with care. Hence us being so overwhelmed. We don't have any babysitter either. I'm afraid for this 4th baby because a lot of sitters aren't comfortable with 4 kids at once.
So, yeah, this is a pretty negative post but it's where I am right now.
Sorry you are feeling in a negative space right now.
Im not quite AMA, but I feel like it because im a FTM at 33... I’ll be a few weeks shy of 34 at birth time. So... I’m going to answer! Muahaha. And your question about parents triggers me, so yeah.
I’m having so much aches and pains that I wasn’t expecting. I have shoddy joints from being an athlete in college, so that helps me feel older. Haha.
Im looking forward the most to walking the baby. Is that dumb? Like I can’t wait to push around the stroller. And I’m also so excited to teach them all the things!
My mother passed away in 2015. It saddens me because she would have been the best grandma ever.
My parents are 61. (Dad and Stepmom). They live in GA. Which also makes me sad. They party harder than I do at 61. They are very young for their age and live an amazing life. It is so awesome. I just wish they were closer. I have my fingers crossed that they may come back to CO because of the baby... but trying not to get my hopes up.
My in-laws are FIL- 69 and MIL-62. They are as old as can be (in their minds). Lots of health problems. My MIL uses a cane. She can’t hold a baby unless seated on the couch. So she wouldn’t be capable of caring for a baby. My FIL is loud and obnoxious. He also has diabetic nerve pain, so he can’t lift much weight or move around well. He spends most of his time sitting on the recliner. So I feel you @cbeanz. Not going to be helpful. And really more of a pain because they honestly make for more work because we often have to do things for them. Definitely feeling a little sandwiched when thinking about caring for people.
Now that the first trimester is over, I’ve been feeling much better physically. I cycle through feelings of real excitement + that “wtf was I thinking” feeling... Am also experiencing a ton of nervous anticipation as we get closer to fetal viability time.
My parents are both 63 and are super active. They’re really excited about having a second granddaughter and have been talking about having baby sleepovers and taking care of the baby if we want to go on vacation. So yeah, they’re pumped. They are really involved in my niece’s life and spend a lot of time with her, taking care of her when my sister is in town, so I know they’re good for it!
My MIL is 73 and is unfortunately not doing too well. She’s developed some mental health issues over the last year and just really has a hard time even taking care of herself. My husband spends a lot of time parenting her and making sure she remembers to do basic self-care tasks. I’m not sure what kind of relationship she will want or be able to maintain with our child, sadly.
Other kids? Ages? 2 boys 9 & 11
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to? Seeing my boys with their baby sister.
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)? My dad is 66, my MIL is 68 or 69. Step FIL... Don't know don't care. FIL we think in his 70s.
My dad is the only one with reliable enough health to help, but they all live in Western NY and we live in Alaska. We are used to relying on just ourselves to take care of our family and we will keep doing so.
Ds 1 would be 8 but died at 2.5. DS 2 is 4.
Ive been feeling great but @Cbeanz, I can relate. Things are definitely hard and my body hurts. Doing this 9 years ago was much easier. Makes me worry a bit about energy levels for this babe...
My in-laws died 5 years ago. They were great about being back-up childcare. My parents are 70 and live far away. When my dad comes, he’s useless. When my mom comes, she does help a bit. And she’ll come for birth of this one. But always leaves the house trashed....
DD just turned 5 at the end of January.
I'm doing ok. The nausea has levelled off enough that I am starting to be able to be more active. If I wake up early enough I workout before work. I'm feeling pretty crap about myself physically at the moment as I haven’t been doing anything physical due to all the nausea but want to be in semi decent shape when baby gets here so that I will hopefully be able to keep up with DD and baby.
My parents are almost 80 but a huge help. They are gone 5 months of the year (over the summer months) but will come home to help with baby. MIL is the same age but I would never leave a child alone with her. She does help by cooking etc which is always nice. SO is living in a different city than us for work while our house is being built so I basically parent alone. I'm anticipating a very challenging summer.
@Happyin14 May I ask, what happened to DS1? If you would rather not discuss, that is of course completely ok
@indulgentgypsy This is completely off topic, but did your H get the boys all registered at school?
@pizzaplz I also have those wtf moments too. Usually it's when I'm exhaustedly lounging in bed and I catch myself in an "oh crap!" moment when I think about how much more tired I will be in 6 months and that there will be a tiny little person attached to me at all times.
@hakele Welcome to the olds! I hope your parents at least spend some prolonged visits with you all after LO is born. Have you talked about it with them yet?
@Cbeanz Thanks for reviving this! I am also at the 18w and feeling more pregnant than I should. I don't remember being this slow going before and feel like I need to ramp up my activity to bring my energy back up.. except it's disgusting outside and I don't want to.
How old are you? 36 (will be 37 when LO is born)
Other kids? Ages? 4.5
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to? I'm feeling ok but having a hard time getting around. I haven't really gained much yet but getting up off the floor, bending down, sitting in a low or crouched position are just so uncomfortable and a little challenging when I occasionally spend an entire day looking through a bag of legos on the floor in DS' room. I really need to get out and moving more. The weather has been crap (mostly cold and raining) and since I don't drink coffee anymore, my excuses to walk to anything nearby are pretty non-existent. I'm really looking forward to it warming up again so that I can do my grocery runs on-foot.
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)? My parents are in their early 60s but they live 2000 miles away and have absolutely no desire to participate in their grandchildrens' lives and are not at all excited about LO's arrival. My in-laws are in their early and mid-70s and also live 2000+ miles away. MIL was a lower elementary teacher, so she is really engaging with children and LOVES her grandchildren, but is also completely useless. FIL does nothing. When they visited us in the past, they would just sit on the couch alllll day long on their ipads and never lift a finger to help.
I don’t mind talking about it. So don’t feel bad about asking!!
ETA: your in-laws sound like my dad and his wife. Love being around but then just sit and read books when here. It’s sort of....incredible!
@Happyin14 wow. Going through all that and coming out the other side speaks a lot about your strength and resilience. Thank you for trusting us all with this knowledge. 💗
@mamanbebe my parents are currently focused on my Grandmas. Both of their moms are still alive and are both starting to need much more care. My dad’s mom has Parkinson’s. And she just got in her 3rd car wreck in a year so we are having to take away driving privileges because they won’t insure her anymore. She lives in IL with no family nearby, so considering moving her is rough.
My Nana is just aging. She doesn’t eat well on her own because she has no appetite. My little sister has been living with her to help take care of her, but she leaves for a job in London in a month and so that will change things again. So, we haven’t had much time to talk about anything specific.
My parents are amazing and I wish they were around. They are coming out the last week of July and first week of August. They are staying with us for a good chunk of that and my mom (step) will be a blessing and a half to have around. She is amazing with babies and is over the moon excited. I hope they will at least visit more than once a year now! We FaceTime often and have a really good relationship. It is stable and calm. I just wish they weren’t in GA.
@mamanbebe im sorry that your parents have their heads up their butts.
Other kids? Ages? All boys, ages 8, 6, and 2
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to? Physically my sciatica is killing me lately! I have no idea why since I didn't have this with the boys but I feel so old! Emotionally I'm so much better now that I feel her kicking! It's such a relief to have that extra confirmation that she's doing ok in there.
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)? My parents are the best! They came after all my other kids were born and cleaned and stocked my fridge/freezer, went shopping for me/us... they're just perfect! They live about 2 hours away so will be here to visit for a week or so to help but aren't normally around on a daily basis. My FIL and stepMIL are great but live overseas. They are great with the older boys but aren't super helpful when they're here and aren't really into newborn babies. My MIL is a waste of space and wouldn't let any of my kids around her unsupervised. She isn't around much thankfully. She doesn't help at all and is more in the way than anything else.
@Happyin14, I can't begin to imagine, I'm so sorry.
Other kids? Ages? Margaret turned 4 in December
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to? Physically much better than first trimester, but still fairly overwhelmed and easily exhausted. These next couple of months are going to be stressful with moving and such, but trying to keep my eye on being settled by the summer.
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)?
I forget which part of town you're in... know of anything hitting the market soon? 😂
How old are you? 34 (less than a month until 35)
Other kids? Ages? DD 6, DS 4
How are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to? I'm super sick again thanks to my tiny little humans who bring home everything from school. I've been sick with some sort of viral about 5 times now. It's been a very long flu season. Overall I've been exhausted by the time my kids go to bed. I'm also bigger and more easily out if breath much sooner with either of my other pregnancies.
What are your parents/in laws ages and are they helpful with childcare (or do they plan to be)? My Mom will be 67 this year, she hasn't been too helpful but has been making a slight effort my MIL will be 65 this year but is super helpful despite the fact that she is still working. Sadly, no Grandpas for our kids as my husband and I each lost our dads when we were younger.
As my username also suggests- I live outside the US, and there’s no family on either side here! My parents had me late, too, so they are very excited but not physically able to travel here (just 3 hrs away by plane, but it’s still too much for them).
DH’s family is younger, but we’re not planning to have them here in July. I’m not super close with my MIL, we’re fine, but I’d rather have my space and not deal with entertaining as well as recovering. She can be smothering and I don’t have the mental space! Want to bond with the baby and DH.
We do have a housekeeper and will likely increase her hours to cover my workday, which is a real blessing/luxury/benefit we wouldnt have if in the US, so I’m grateful for that.
I’ve been feeling better than first trimester for sure, but am starting all those big belly discomforts! I think the FTM experience is awkward- I sometimes feel like I’m having horrible extended PMS with a big stretching belly, too! I think all the marketing around pregnancy is too idyllic and I get a little disappointed I’m not just filled with good vibes! And everyone in the family is so gushy, which is so normal, but sometimes I don’t care about cute baby outfits and wish people didn’t just see me as the new baby bringer! I must sound cynical, I guess it’s that my mentality is probably still just a lady without kids! It’s all a little surreal and sometimes (lots of times) exhausting to make the transition.
But on the flip side, I’m really looking forward to stroller walks and bath time! Really want to see his face and not just imagine it! 🤗