@himolly88 Ugh, that sucks! I'm sorry you set aside all that time to go to a class that was just a waste! I would complain if I were you, but I'll mention that pregnancy has certainly brought out my "ragier" side...
@phoenix92885 I'm so glad you had a positive experience! That's awesome that you have some tools in your backpocket now, and that you're feeling more confident! You got this mama!
We went to a full day childbirth 101 class today which included a hospital tour. I found it very useful, but it completely freaked out my husband.
Part of me is sorry that he had a negative reaction that really triggered all his anxiety issues, but part is hopeful that this will help him become more involved in understanding pregnancy and delivery, and get him motivated to help with the nursery prep.
We are taking a baby care class next week, so we'll see how that goes. My husband really wanted to go to that one. (I've had a lot more hands on experience with babies.)
@jenbarrdoc take a night each week and review just a little bit of the class/write your birth goals. That way he can talk through things again and feel more control over whatever was to much all at once.
I'm going to a breastfeeding class this week with my hubby. I found out one of my super-conservative good friend is also going to the class. I'm having so much fun picking on her (she freaked out when we realized we had the same class... she really wants anonymity). I asked her today if she was going to volunteer to expose her boob as a volunteer...
That being said, STM's how the heck do you get past the immodesty of exposing your boob? My coloring has changed SOO much and I'm a little embarrassed by how dark and ginormous my boobs are now. My cousin recommended ripping the bandaid off and BFing in front for your FIL ASAP. That way "you get over doing it in front of the most embarrassing person ever- your FIL." Just the thought makes me so anxious....
@kayceebaby1, it's totally up to your comfort level. There are definitely ways to breastfeed that don't require exposing your breast, or at least for a very short amount of time (nursing covers/scarves/etc), or moving to a separate room or private location if available. However, with my first, it eventually just became a non-issue. When baby is hungry, it's your instinct to feed him and you kinda just don't care after a point if it means potentially flashing a nipple at a stranger.
Also, it's the most natural thing in the world, and nobody thinks it's immodest to watch cows/kittens/goats/dogs/any other animal nurse from their mothers. It's only "immodest," because society sexualizes women's bodies and breasts, even though their original function is to feed babies . I'll get down from my soap box now, haha.
@kayceebaby1 yes to all of the soapbox above. And I don’t agree with your cousin at all. Early BFing is so much trying to figure each other out that there is way more nipplage exposed than there is later on. You may not yet know all the hunger cues for your baby and then have to deal with an over-hungry baby that can’t settle enough to get a rhythm going. You may have a child that bounces on and off while sorting out suck/swallow/breathe (that may be primarily a preemie thing, I forget). You won’t have figured out whether you can use covers over baby’s head because you still need to see the latch to make it happen. Let that all pass before you throw FIL in the mix.
Honestly, I think FIL saw me primarily when he came into a room I’d tried to hide in, in order to nurse.
@kayceebaby1 when the in laws were visiting baby #1 was 10days-17days and we were just getting the hang of it. I used a Muslim blanket to cover when possible because I preferred that but when it was just me an hubs or my mom or my sister/sil it didn’t always get covered. Baby is more important than my modesty (which I am super modest just as who I am) and right after being basically naked in a room with a bunch of strangers and pooping on a table and pushing for 3 hrs with folks prodding and poking and peeking everywhere a nipple isn’t really an issue anymore.
As baby got got better at latching and I got better at helping her our modesty grew into a teamwork of cozy breastfeeding and being covered without using covers and it was lovely.
@kangstadt I totally agree with your soapbox. I thought I'd be like "f the man" and want my boobs out.... turns out I'm just a little shy about these new, huge boobs.
I do feel better taking the pressure off the FIL bandaid approach.
Totally with you, @kayceebaby1. I work with kids and feel like my preggo boobs are practically obscene with how much they've grown. Luckily kids are oblivious, and it's probably mostly me feeling self conscious anyway.
@kangstadt I work with kids too. One of the parents of a toddler I treat told me she knew right away that I was pregnant, "because of [my] boobs." I wasn't small before, and now I'm just annoyingly large. Obviously not a huge problem, but there are plenty of ways I expected to be self conscious during pregnancy and that wasn't one of them.
@kayceebaby1: Yeah, don't agree with your cousin either. I know I'm in the minority, but I never BFed in public. I'm super private by nature (cue a certain amount of BMB irony, of course) and if I don't *tell* people I'm not super close to anything about my pregnancy (still haven't announced on Facebook, whoop), I don't see it as a concession to "the man" to not *show* them its aftermath in process. I agree with the others that you shouldn't feel obligated to psych yourself up for it before it seems like a logical and appealing thing to do.
We did the birthing classes via our hospital Kaiser in California with DD and I thought it was super beneficial. I was terrified of labor and going in prepared eased my concerns. We are skipping it this time around but might take the refresher.
Re: Birth & Parenting Classes
@phoenix92885 I'm so glad you had a positive experience! That's awesome that you have some tools in your backpocket now, and that you're feeling more confident! You got this mama!
Part of me is sorry that he had a negative reaction that really triggered all his anxiety issues, but part is hopeful that this will help him become more involved in understanding pregnancy and delivery, and get him motivated to help with the nursery prep.
We are taking a baby care class next week, so we'll see how that goes. My husband really wanted to go to that one. (I've had a lot more hands on experience with babies.)
That being said, STM's how the heck do you get past the immodesty of exposing your boob? My coloring has changed SOO much and I'm a little embarrassed by how dark and ginormous my boobs are now. My cousin recommended ripping the bandaid off and BFing in front for your FIL ASAP. That way "you get over doing it in front of the most embarrassing person ever- your FIL." Just the thought makes me so anxious....
Also, it's the most natural thing in the world, and nobody thinks it's immodest to watch cows/kittens/goats/dogs/any other animal nurse from their mothers. It's only "immodest," because society sexualizes women's bodies and breasts, even though their original function is to feed babies
Honestly, I think FIL saw me primarily when he came into a room I’d tried to hide in, in order to nurse.
super modest just as who I am) and right after being basically naked in a room with a bunch of strangers and pooping on a table and pushing for 3 hrs with folks prodding and poking and peeking everywhere a nipple isn’t really an issue anymore.
As baby got got better at latching and I got better at helping her our modesty grew into a teamwork of cozy breastfeeding and being covered without using covers and it was lovely.
@kangstadt I totally agree with your soapbox. I thought I'd be like "f the man" and want my boobs out.... turns out I'm just a little shy about these new, huge boobs.
I do feel better taking the pressure off the FIL bandaid approach.