TTCAL w/o 2/18

shamrocandroll · February 2019

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: Where is your happy place?

kerco925 · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 CP 5/2018, Twin MMC 8/2018, possible CP this weekend

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I had a few faint lines on Friday, so I think I had another chemical. I am finding it tough to be optimistic because of it. I am grateful that AF came a day early rather than delayed because of it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? This is my last cycle before looking into testing.

GTKY: Where is your happy place? I always feel happiest outside by a pool or a beach. Very much looking forward to the winter ending.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC @ 10w in Nov. CP at 5w3d on 2/3.

Status: benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I've been pretty continuously anxious the past several months, so on Saturday MH and I went out on a really fancy date. I put on a dress, makeup, and did my hair up nicely, and we went to a really nice restaurant and ordered what we wanted without worrying about the bill. It was so nice. We came home and had some really amazing, romantic, (read: non-TTGP) intimate time, and it was just the perfect night. Until I woke up at 2am completely convinced I was having a heart attack and was going to die. I literally thought to myself "I'm dying... I wonder if I should wake MH up and say goodbye." I finally realized the last time I felt like that several years ago and went to the doctor, they told me I was having anxiety attacks, and this was probably the same thing. I did end up waking MH up and I told him I thought I was having an anxiety attack. He asked if I needed to go to the hospital, and I told him I just needed him to sit with me and tell me I'm okay. I was able to focus on deep breathing and muscle relaxation techniques, and that helped. I also put on some lavender lotion and got my weighted throw blanket, and that helped me get back to sleep. MH has never had even a touch of anxiety, so he doesn't really understand it, but he was very supportive. He asked me what I was panicking about, and I had to explain to him that panic/anxiety attacks don't necessarily happen when you're actively anxious or panicking. I honestly think what happened is we had such an amazing night, and my body was just releasing all of this pent up anxiety I've been carrying since we started TTGP in September. I'm doing a lot better since the episode, and if it happens again, I'm going to start seeing a therapist again. Whew, that was long. Thanks for reading.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nah

GTKY: Where is your happy place? The lake we live on. I like to say it's impossible to be upset when you're out on the lake. It's just so peaceful. I sigh just thinking about it. Unfortunately my happy place is only really accessible for about 4-5 months out of the year.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@kerco925 I am so sorry for your losses. I just went through a CP/early loss myself, and can relate to the mixed emotions of it. I hope you get answers soon!

kbrown2385 · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 6 losses; 12/13, 1/17, 11/17, 4/18, 9/18, 2/19

Status: currently going through loss

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’m kind of meh about everything right now. Not really letting this current loss affect me a whole lot, which I know isn’t good for my mental health, but that’s how i cope. I’m so frustrated with my RE and floored that she would go from progesterone supplements straight to Ivf. I feel like there’s a huge area we can explore between the two.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Not currently, but my RE doesn’t know what’s going to hit her at our next appt.

GTKY: Where is your happy place? I don’t know if it’s anywhere specific, but anywhere with DH. He’s in the military so if we are just able to be together by ourselves without work, stress or real life getting in the way, it’s my happy place.

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@kerco925 @shamrocandroll I’m so sorry you ladies experienced an early loss so recently as well.

@shamrocandroll That date sounds like it was a lovely time. Im sorry you had to deal with an anxiety attack afterwards, but hope you are feeling better.

Edit it for a tag

marebear15 · February 2019

@kerco925 - Hugs for your most recent loss. It doesn't matter how long you have those two lines, hope is still hope.

@shamrocandroll - It absolutely makes sense that your body was releasing the stress you've been holding on to in an anxiety attack. Those suck, but it sounds like YH was supportive and you had all the tools you needed to get yourself back in a better place.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP at 5w in Jan

Status: WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I really wanted to get pregnant this cycle. I know I do every cycle, but I felt like this one would ease the pain of the CP. It opens a fresh wound.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? no

GTKY: Where is your happy place? The beach with a good book.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@kbrown2385 My heart just sank seeing your name pop up here. I am so so sorry! I hope you find some answers soon and your RE is open to having a conversation about your options. Big hugs.

emeraldcity1214 · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC at 15 weeks 12/18

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? My period seems to still be out of sorts. I completely stopped bleeding and then 24 hours later I start spotting with bright red blood. It's like my uterus doesn't know what it's suppose to be doing. A this point I'm assuming that my uterus needs more time to heal and this cycle may not be the one. I think preparing myself mentally for it will make it easier to not stress in the TWW.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Still waiting for the same ones. The second attempt for genetic screening for our Angel baby and I am being checked to see if I carry any breast cancer genes.

GTKY: Where is your happy place? Has to be Disney World. I love that place. I have been trying to get DH to let me plan a trip for the past 2 years. He hates things like that so he is very resistant.

emeraldcity1214 · February 2019

@kerco925 hugs

@shamrocandroll I'm sorry your date ended in an anxiety attack. I have never had a full blown anxiety attack but I have had times when my anxiety was so bad I felt like I couldn't fill my lungs with air. I'm glad your DH was so supportive and helped you though it.

@kbrown2385 hugs, I'm so sorry.

@marebear15 I can relate to feeling like a BFP would help ease the pain of your loss. I have felt like a huge hole is inside me and the only thing that can fill it is a BFP. Hugs!

emeraldduchess · February 2019

@kerco925 I am so sorry. I hope that you don't have to fight your doctors on testing.

@shamrocandroll I'm sorry that you're struggling with anxiety. I live with it, too and it can be such a monster. I'm glad that you have some things at home that can help you when you have an attack. I might try some lavender scented things in the future (lotion, candles).

@marebear15 I feel the same way about wanting this cycle to work out. I am bracing myself because I know I'll be looking at an ugly meltdown if this cycle is a BFN for me.

@kbrown2385 I am so, so sorry to see you back here. It's so unfair. So many hugs to you.

@emeraldcity1214 I hope you get your test results soon. I'm sure it's so hard waiting for those answers.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss in December at 5 weeks, 1 day.

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Yesterday was two months since our loss. It hit me that I'd just be entering my second trimester right now. I was also supposed to go with DH to his parents' house for lunch, but just couldn't do it. I have plans with my mom and MIL on Wednesday and I am dreading it, especially if I get a BFN that morning. My hopes are much too high this cycle. I know I will be crushed if it's a bust. I have been super moody the last two days, too, which isn't helping things between me and DH. What's going well is that I am glad I decided not to temp. It took away a layer of stress, but I am still on the edge of the SS rabbit hole.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. Will start testing with some cheapies tomorrow. Way too early but I have a ton of them and my physical is tomorrow. Might as well have something to tell them.

GTKY: Where is your happy place? On stage performing. I love it an miss it so much. I haven't done a show in a year.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@emeraldcity1214 Happy to have you back again! I'm sorry about the wonky cycle. I'm currently on a reset, and as much as I hate waiting even longer, it does make it easier to not have to stress about the TWW. It's so scary when anxiety manifests so physically like that! Not being able to breathe is terrifying. I worry that I won't be able to distinguish a real physical issue from anxiety some day. :-/

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@emeraldduchess I have an amazing group of ladies as a support system, and after my MMC in November, they sent me a care package with the weighted blanket, lavender lotion, and some other comforting/self care items. I highly recommend the Lush Sleepy lotion. I'm pretty sensitive to overly perfumed lotions, and this one is very gentle and soothing to me.

https://www.lushusa.com/body/body-lotions/sleepy/06854.html?gclid=Cj0KCQiAzKnjBRDPARIsAKxfTRASfavX2XAe6L5zQCBarMuylmZxutqpJMgqJGz2qf6dmVM6xvtVfa0aAknmEALw_wcB

hanshotfirst77 · February 2019

@kerco925 I'm so sorry, hugs

@kbrown2385 I'm so sorry you are back here, and that your RE is frustrating you. I hope you can find a middle ground you are comfortable with.

@marebear15 I completely get your hopes being up for this cycle. Mine are way too high already for my first AL and I haven't even got AF yet. Hugs

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. : MMC 2/19

Status: Benched/WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

My hcg is down to a 3. So now I'm waiting on AF. I haven't temped in a long time but I'm pretty sure I ovulated a few days ago. I know it's possible to O shortly after a miscarriage, but I was expecting having to wait awhile given I have PCOS and a history of really long/irregular cycles and without meds I am usually a late ovulater. I meant to use opks too, but I kept forgetting.

But I am sure hoping that its true, so that means AF is coming soon.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing until I get AF, then Saline Sono.

GTKY: Where is your happy place?

Anywhere I have some good dark chocolate, coffee and bingeing my favorite shows.

marebear15 · February 2019

@kbrown2385 - I tend to push away my grief too, and it ends up popping up in weird places.

@emeraldcity1214 - I've been wondering how this next AF is going to be. Our bodies are weird, but I hope yours figures itself out and heals quickly.

@emeraldduchess - I so hope you get your BFP this cycle. It's crushing to have all your hopes wrapped up in a cycle that ends in a BFN.

emeraldcity1214 · February 2019

@shamrocandroll DH used to get anxiety attacks and he is very protective of the things that keep his anxiety level low enough to avoid them. Even DH told me last cycle that we should probably wait since my uterine lining isn't sure if it wants to grow or shed. That can't be good for implantation. I'm choosing to keep trying with the mindset that it might not happen until my uterus heals completely.

@emeraldduchess I danced for almost 20 years and I miss performing. I would love to find an actual adult class to take just so I could get back into the studio. Those were the days....

Spartanrd4 · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC in March 2016, CP last month

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I have decided to go to see a therapist- my work provides counselors to their employees for free so going to give the service a call and see if they can be helpful for my anxiety and just general well being. I feel like the stress of TTC and our losses (the CP kind of stirred up trauma that I had from my MMC and brought them back to the surface) is affecting me, my work and thus affecting my relationships. I hope I can get some help with coping skills.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Well I have been doing my CB digital opks and no signs of O yet- still getting low fertility. Based on recent cycles I should be getting high fertility by now (blinking smiley) so either I am going to O later this cycle or not at all. Kind of frustrating but also maybe could be a blessing because DH is going out of town for work tomorrow and won't be back until Thursday so we may of missed the window if I O'd at my usual time. I am temping so hopefully will see a temp shift at some point soon!

GTKY: Where is your happy place? On the beach with a drink in my hand off the lake.

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@Spartanrd4 therapy was the best thing I ever did. It really helped me work through my grief with the losses. I hope it helps you as well.

@hanshotfirst77 glad your Hcg has come down. Hopefully af shows up soon.

kagesstarshroom · February 2019

@kbrown2385 One of the things that book suggested AL is considering changing providers--is that something you can do? If yr RE doesn't see those in-between options like you do, that is. I am glad you are going in to your next appointment With Information.

@shamrocandroll I am so so glad you had the wherewithal during your anxiety attack to realize what it was and do as much as you could remember doing right for yourself during it. I separate my anxiety attacks from my panic attacks (neither of which i get often) by whether or not there was a trigger--I wonder what the actual (like, medical?) difference is?-- like, MH gets pissed at me when I have a panic attack when one of our dogs gets out? But I'm like "I am not choosing this!" even though there's a clear trigger. Anyway, I'm glad YH understood even after explanation and your understanding of it makes total sense to me! I had one after our wedding---like we got back to the hotel room and I had a meltdown and the way you describe it makes sense for that scenario too. Also, I am jealous of your ladyfriend support system.

@marebear15 I feeel you on wanting to get KU as quickly as possible after a CP! That's how I was this past fall (& that's even how/why I found & joined yall! & learned so much!) I wish I would have let myself grieve more though-- I felt like getting KU would "solve" that grief & it took me way too long to realize it didn't. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20!

@hanshotfirst77 I usually play dumb games on my phone before I sleep, but last night, instead, I was playing with the chart search feature on FF to look at when ppl O'd after a d&c, how long they bled for, what their cycles looked like. I hope you are more in line w/ those charts that had earlier O's! They were really all over the place, which made me feel both better and the same (but not worse!)

@emeraldduchess A million hugs. I am dreading the would-be milestone of end of first tri. I didn't have time w/ my cp to look that far ahead, but I did for my mmc. I'm glad you feel like you made the right decision in deciding not to temp.

@emeraldcity1214 It is helpful for me to hear that a subsequent cycle can be all over the place, not just what was going on down there immediately post-mc, so thank you for sharing.

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@kagesstarshroom I’m seen through a military clinic so changing drs isn’t the easiest. If it comes down to it and she’s not willing to work with me, I’ll be asking (demanding) a referral to a civilian dr.

kagesstarshroom · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP in Oct. 2018, MMC w. D&C in Jan./Feb 2019

Status: WTO/benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant: As I mentioned above, last night I was chart-browsing on FF, and that has given me some comfort & also some worries but not worries that didn't already exist. I think I am in for a longer cycle than usual, I just hope it isn't a monster one. Rave: Well yall, our flight for Jamaica leaves tomorrow morning pretty early, so when I disappear for a week, know I am thinking and rooting for yall to have excellent weeks. Non-AL Related Struggle: I *have* to get some grading done before we leave tomorrow morning or I will regret it. My goal today is to *actually* do that instead of just writing it in my planner and then doing something else.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? n/a

GTKY: Where is your happy place? DH & I met at a small music festival, and that's definitely my happy place. I've gone every year for over 20 years & his track record is similar. We're on a special committee now (he was always on it and I "married in") that spends extra time there before the festival actually begins to help set it up & the ppl there are like a second family. It's a really special place.

emeraldduchess · February 2019

@kagesstarshroom I'm glad that you got some comfort looking at different charts on FF. Have a wonderful time in Jamaica!

hanshotfirst77 · February 2019

@kagesstarshroom it gives me some comfort looking at what's happened to other people AL too. I haven't looked at charts on FF yet but now that you bring it up I probably will. But I've been googling everything, ovulating after loss, first periods after loss, hcg levels etc. I feel the same as you, it give me comfort but also worries me. It's a lot of unknowns that make me analyze every little thing a million different ways. I hope your cycle doesn't take too long.

emeraldcity1214 · February 2019

@Spartanrd4 I'm glad you're seeking therapy. I feel like I need to do the same. It's just hard for me to make it work with pur schedules.

@kagesstarshroom I'm glad I can shed some light on what can happen with subsequent cycles. It has made me realize that there are reasons they say wait.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@Spartanrd4 Oh my gosh, you just reminded me I have access to free therapy through work, too! That really motivates me to look into that and finding someone to talk to. Thank you!

@kagesstarshroom I use panic attack and anxiety attack interchangeably, and I wonder if that's incorrect. Have soooooo much fun in Jamaica! I hope it's the relaxation reset you need! And yes, I'm extremely fortunate to have the support system I have, for sure!

omg1108 · February 2019

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

~ 2 MMC September 2018 (D & C), February 2019 (mispropytol)

Status: just waiting...

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

~ I have been really emotional. I finally stopped bleeding Saturday after inducing last Saturday. I am still a bit numb; my feelings are all over the place. I want to start temping now & opk just for charting purposes. My cycles have always been very irregular, so I think it is really important.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

~ We are going to our first visit with the RE on Friday. I really hope to get some answers about why I am having difficulty growing the little ones.

GTKY: Where is your happy place?

~ I absolutely love the beach. A nice tropical vacation, swimming, sunning, etc. I went to Dominican Republic & Jamaica. Both beautiful destinations.

@kerco925 I am sorry to hear about your most recent CP.

@shamrocandroll I also suffer from high anxiety & panic attacks. Your evening sounds amazing. I am sorry it ended with that awful feeling. I have been wanting to try a weighted blanket for a while. I am going to look into one on Amazon.

@kbrown2385 Good luck with your RE & I am sorry about your loss. Stay strong & advocate for yourself loudly. That is my plan.

@hanshotfirst77 My OB hasn't said anything about testing my hcg levels down. Maybe because she knows I am seeing the RE this week. Fingers crossed for you.

@kagesstarshroom Enjoy your vacation!

hanshotfirst77 · February 2019

@omg1108 I started temping after I stopped bleeding from my loss too. I think its helped me have some idea what's going on and feels like I'm doing something even though im benched. Fx the RE gives you some answers.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

Okay, so... those of you who have told your families about your loss(es): How did you do it? I've told myself I was going to tell my parents (who I am extremely close to) for the last two weekends that I saw them in person, but I kept chickening out. I just don't know how to bring that kind of thing up. I mentioned to them that the last few months have been really rough for us when I was telling them about how nice of a time we had on our date, but they kind of just brushed over it and the conversation just moved on from there. Like, I kind of just want to text my mom about it and tell her I've been trying to find the right time to tell her in person but just can't bring myself to. But that just doesn't feel like the right thing to do... but is there a right way when it comes to telling someone something like that? Maybe it would be better because she'll have time to process it before feeling like she needs to respond (and reduce the chances of giving the wrong kind of response)? I don't know. But not telling them just feels like I'm keeping this huge secret from them. We don't ever plan on telling my in-laws, on the other hand.

emeraldcity1214 · February 2019

@shamrocandroll I just sent a text to my mom. She knew I was having complications. Personally, I would just call and talk to your mom. Just tell her.

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@shamrocandroll I’ve called in the past and other times I just send a blanket text to the family letting them know. We aren’t super close and they don’t know how to offer their support, but I just tell them because it helps me process it all.

Spartanrd4 · February 2019

@shamrocandroll I told my parents and in-laws because I had already told them we were pregnant and then had to tell them what happened after we lost the baby. My mom actually went and was with me when I had my D&C because DH was out of town. I haven't told my mom about the CP yet but if she keeps making passive aggressive comments to me in regards to TTC I might have to because I know if she knew she wouldn't be pressuring me so much.

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@emeraldcity1214 @kbrown2385 @Spartanrd4 thanks for sharing your experiences. They don't know we were trying and we hadn't told them yet, so part of me wonders if I should spare them the emotional burden of knowing. But then I know eventually the comments will come and I don't want to break down on them over something they don't even know about. So I'm just so torn about if/when/how to tell them. Like, I honestly just want to send a text and just get it over with. But that doesn't feel like the right way. But also I should be thinking about doing it in the most self preserving way for me, and not about the most "right" way for them...

marebear15 · February 2019

@shamrocandroll - I don't know if children ever gets brought up in conversation, but it comes up every so often in my family, and one time I just said to my mom that we've been wanting a baby for 7 months (at the time), but it hasn't been easy. She also knew about my pregnancy, and so it wasn't hard to tell them that we lost the baby. But I think I would just wait for it to get brought up naturally, and then just say something like, "We've been wanting to add to our family for (insert months) now, and we actually got our wish, and then ended up losing the baby."

shamrocandroll · February 2019

@marebear15 Yeah, it comes up casually, but I just don't want to make them feel horrible about bringing it up because they didn't know, you know? Also, in my case it's been 2 losses now and I just feel like I'm keeping this huge secret from them when I normally tell them everything. I know there's just no easy way to do it and I am just going to have to suck it up and just tell them, but UGH.......

emeraldduchess · February 2019

@shamrocandroll I think they would want to know, because then they can support you in whatever way you need them to. I think you were right saying that you need to do it in whatever way is easiest for you. If their noses get out of joint because of how you tell them, that's for them to deal with. I called my mom on the way home from the emergency room and DH called his parents when we got back to our house. Neither cared that we told them on the phone because it wasn't about them, it was about us and what we were going through. DH and I only felt bad because we hadn't even had the chance to tell them I was pregnant. That was the hardest part, telling them we lost the baby before they even knew he/she existed.

zuuls_mom · February 2019

*lurking*

@shamrocandroll I found it really hard to tell my mom about mine because I knew she would be devastated. She was, but when I told her I had been afraid to tell her, she got upset that I was trying to carry the emotional burden alone. She said she wanted to be here for me in the good times and the bad times. My mom lives three hours away so it was all over the phone, but if I could have done it in person I would have because no one gives better hugs than mom (in my opinion). Love you bunches, my friend. I'll be thinking of you and sending strength to have that talk.

maserrano714 · February 2019

@shamrocandroll I was afraid to tell my parents also. I told me sister and my bffs as soon as I left my docs office but they knew about the visit. I had waited to tell my parents because I wanted to show them the ultrasound. I stopped by and told them the day after I learned of the MMC and impending D&C. I'm glad I did. They were very supportive and loving. My mom even joined my DH at the hospital for my D&C. It was nice to have her there with me. Plus my mom had gone through the same procedure after she had me, so she could relate on a deeper level. I cried when I told them. It's like reliving it all over again but worth it. Hope that helps.

maserrano714 · February 2019

I'm so sorry for all you ladies going through a recent loss. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.

AFM:

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: 2 losses MMC @ 8wks 8/2018 & MMC/D&C @ 9wks 2/2019

Status: benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm still bleeding from D&C and it's been 10 days. Doc says if I'm still bleeding on weds to call them. Seems like its tapering off but I just want it done and over with. Seems like a constant reminder of my loss. Had a break down last night before bed and just openly sobbed while DH held me. He didn't understand what triggered me and I tried to explain that there is no need for a trigger, it just comes and goes. Felt good to cry though.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Results from the D&C were normal so most likely chromosomal abnormality. Doc ordered some labs for me (cardiolipin ab, lupus anticoagulant eval, & beta 2 glycoprotein). Will have my blood drawn tomorrow.

GTKY: Where is your happy place? Sunday mornings in bed with my hubby and doggy. Makes me feel so safe and just in our own little bubble with no worries or cares.

kagesstarshroom · February 2019

@maserrano714 Solidarity in the "still bleeding" club. I soothed my anxiety about it (slash stabilized it) by looking at other people's post-D&C charts via FF. I'm glad you had a "good" cry though--they're so cathartic sometimes, though it does suck to have reasons to cry. Hugs.

@shamrocandroll I told my mom after my cp bc.... I felt like I really wanted to? Like, I felt like I was somehow leaving her out of an important part of my life that she would want to know about. And I always give her crap for not telling me things. I called her and just .... told her. We talked about it since and she said she really didn't know what to say, but we were able to talk bout TTC and she says (tho she loves us blah blah blah) she wishes she waited until she was older to have kids like I have done. So for my second one I told her right away (I told her before DH!) that I was KU and then was keeping her updated about appointments and stuff and she was There For Me during it all and didn't ask any dumb questions, and I am just glad we can talk about stuff like this now. But it was sort of like--breaking down a wall to get to this point. My bro knows about this one because we had to cancel our trip to Jamaica annnndd then we rebooked it, and he'll be there, so he just knows by default. I have not told my Dad. My parents are divorced? So that makes being able to tell my mom and talk with her about it and not my dad easier? I am glad I haven't told my Dad because I just don't want to deal with his reaction that we're TTC at all.

@hanshotfirst77 I'm still bleeding off and on, though I THOUGHT I had stopped when I started temping. Anyway, I hope none of our post-AL cycles take too long--some of those charts are terrifying. But MOST of them aren't. FX.

ALRIGHT YALL. Until next week probably (though I won't lie if I have some downtime and access to some wifi and need/want yall I will likely pop in. Also this bitmoji 100% me IRL it's like they took a photo ^_~*--)
Bitmoji Image

kbrown2385 · February 2019

@kagesstarshroom have a great trip!

ruby696 · February 2019

Whoa, I'm late to the party.

@kagesstarshroom Have a great time!

@maserrano714 I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but I'm glad YH is supportive. It makes a huge difference.

@emeraldduchess FX so hard for you this cycle. It would be so nice to have more good news on this board!

@spartanrd4 I hope you o'd late so you hit your window!!

@kbrown2385 Has your RE considered clomid? My RE will put me on clomid to maximize the number of good eggs ready for ovulation.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 3 MMC's and 2 CP's.

Status: Benched.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? Tomorrow is my due date for one of my previous losses. My birthday is also in February, so this one is hitting me a little harder than the others.

What is going well for you this week? R/R? have a court appearance tomorrow that I am DREADING. Once that's over, I should have a pretty low key, but productive, week.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? One more hcg test to go. AF finally showed, so I expect an US and more labs next cycle.

GTKY: Where is your happy place? My family has property on the coast, where I wish I could be all day, every day. Unfortunately, its being rented right now, so I haven't been able to go for a few years.

Want a personalized experience?

TTCAL w/o 2/18

Re: TTCAL w/o 2/18

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