September 2019 Moms

W/O 1/23: PgAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-in

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Re: W/O 1/23: PgAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-in

  • @dpchickens and @keikilove I am so, so sorry. It’s so unfair. 
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  • @kagesstarshroom glad to hear your appt went well! Hearing the HB really is toward the top of the list of best moments in pregnancy. 

    @sunshine2417 thinking of you today and hoping for a great appt! 
    *TW*
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3


  • @dpchickens @keikilove I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss, a lot of people don't realize the strength it takes to keep trying for a baby and having hope after suffering so much loss. :( praying for you both.

    @eme520 wonderful news, I've followed your story from last week so happy to hear things are going well!

    @40momma welcome to the community! I'm a 'geriatric' too with several losses and understand your anxiety well, and also a fellow Canadian! 🍁

    In other news I found out this week that I have hypothyroidism, a condition we are waiting to find out if I've just obtained or has gone undiagnosed. I urge all the momma's to be to get your TSH levels checked as the condition can be a big factor in miscarriage and infertility, as well as can cause birth defects in baby if left untreated. And I'm told it's not necessarily checked in prenatal tests and the symptoms are similar to pregnancy symptoms. Freaking out now thinking I've gone the last 8 weeks without being treated and crossing all my fingers and toes that it has not caused damage already.... 
  • @40momma To me it is so odd that the doctor even mentions age. I pointed out to my doctor my age & concerns. She scoffed me off & said it is fine--women are having babies well into their 40s. She is so upbeat & optimistic it keeps me hopeful. Although sometimes I want to strangle her when my anxiety is through the roof. LOL. I can't for the life of me understand why she doesn't want to see me weekly??? I need constant reassurance that this little nugget (or chocolate chip as they say) is nestled nicely & promises to grow appropriately. 
  • @omg1108 yes, I wish the OB would see me every day!!! 
  • sunshine2417sunshine2417 member
    edited January 2019

    Hey all--so the appt today was wishy washy... Basically they looked inside and I have a large gestational sac, but they didn't see a yolk sac or fetal pole yet, which was really disheartening. They said since my betas looked great initially though, they want me to come back in two weeks since technically we could just have our dates off or be too early to see anything since we believe we are only 6 weeks today, at the latest. And the waiting anxiety continues.... So I had betas drawn today and will do them again Sunday since I'm an anxious mess. The other side of this is that my left ovary is GIGANTIC with a cyst double the size of the ovary and the technician asked if I was in debilitating pain because of this. I said no, and she basically laughed and told me good luck if and when it ruptures! Ummm… what?!?! Hopefully it just reabsorbs but that won't be fun if it does not... Has anyone had a ruptured ovarian cyst while pregnant? I haven't even had one to begin with so I have no idea what to expect overall.

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  • @sunshine2417 so sorry you are in limbo! i'm sending you all the sunshiny goodness of peace-during-the-waits that you need. straight from... a rather cold Lousiana, i'm not gonna lie. there was frost everywhere this morning--but it feels nice in the sun! and woowww the technician does not sound like the nicest. um, are you able to talk to a dr/someone besides the tech to ask about the cyst? i feel like i would be rabidly consulting dr. google about the cyst & we all know docs don't *love* when we do that, so you'd think they'd want to tell you some more about it? 
  • @sunshine2417 I'm sorry there is more waiting & uncertainty. Sending all the positive thoughts & vibes that you're just a bit behind on your dates & things will look great next week!! 
    TTM - EDD 4/23 - Team Green <3 
  • @sunshine2417 I am so sorry you have to play the waiting game! Also, what a horrible way for the tech to behave. So unprofessional. I also have a cyst and it's a bit uncomfortable, but I have no experience with one rupturing. Hopefully they will reabsorb for both of us!
    *TW*
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3


  • @keikilove and @dpchickens I’m so sorry for your loss. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. 

    @sunshine2417 I had (have?) a cyst - I think I mentioned on another thread. My dr said it was the corpus luteum cyst - mine was enlarged as well and causing intense pain. I am now 7 weeks and the pain has definitely subsided. Also, don’t worry yet - I think 6 weeks (from my experience) is super early to hear a heartbeat. Fx for great bloodwork and a heartbeat at your next appointment. 

    @jaykay2004 welcome! I think we have the same due date :) I am also 36, turning 37 in September. 

    @kagesstarshroom great news and so sweet about your husband ❤️
    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img 
  • @dpchickens My heart is breaking for you, I am so so sorry to hear this. 

    @kagesstarshroom I'm so glad to hear this update! How far did they move your due date? 

    @keikilove yes, yes and yes. All of your feelings are valid. I completely understand knowing something is wrong when all of the tests say other wise. Sending so much love my friend.

    @sunshine2417 Girl yes, but know that is TOTALLY normal. That doesn't help PGAL brain though. Just try to enjoy the reprieve from misery :) 
    • How far along are you? 7wks 5 days
    • Current mood? Tired
    • If you haven't already, or want to share again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. Early October of 2018 I miscarried at 8 weeks. 
    • Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? Very excited for my first prenatal orientation appointment one week from today.
    • GTKY: Outside of your home state/province, what's your favorite state/city/province in your country and why? Nashville, Tennessee.
  • @naveed7, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism many years ago in college.  It was a bit of a challenge to find the right dose of medicine, but I've been on that dose and feeling great with hypothroidism ever since.  They do check my thyroid hormone levels once a trimester during pregnancy, as pregnancy can often cause one to need a higher dose of synthroid, but I've never had to have my medicine adjusted during pregnancy.  And even having hypothyroidism, they do not check my levels in the first trimester until I go in for the first ultrasound.

    In case one anecdote is any comfort, a good friend last year found out she had hypothyroidism well into her second trimester and started treatment right away - it sounded like her hormones were pretty far out of the good range, but she had a smooth pregnancy and has a beautiful 4-month old now. 

    @sunshine2417, I'm sorry that the first ultrasound has made you worry.  Just want to echo what others have said - it sounds like what I'd expect to see at max 6 weeks, but I understand the anxiety well.  I have mixed feelings about early ultrasounds after one caused me a week of needless (extra) anxiety even though everything was fine with my baby.  
  • @sunshine2417 I'm so sorry you're in limbo, a two week wait is such a long time when every day feels like forever

    AFM, I've had very light brown discharge since Thursday. Just a very little bit each time I check but it's still enough to drive me batty. Called the RPL clinic this morning and she assured me that's totally normal but it's hard to believe. Second beta drawn tomorrow. Any tips or tricks to get through the days when you're making yourself BSC? 
  • It was recommended that I join in here with ya'll after introducing myself on another board. So, hello! I'm still learning some acronyms used here, so I apologize if I mess any up.
    • How far along are you? 6wks1
    • Current mood? Anxious (f*cling terrified, more like), grouchy, moody, etc. And I am rocking a cold, which magnifies everything.
    • If you haven't already, or want to share again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. I miscarried in October at 6 wks, a few CP before that. I think my spouse took the loss even harder than I did.
    • Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? My first U/S is tomorrow, after my betas (is that hcg level blood work?) came back "really, really good!" At my guess of 5 wks (last wk) they were over 5000, and when I asked if that is unusually high I was told everyone is different and immediately scheduled for an U/S this week. Dr Google says that's really high. I'm glad I'm seeing someone tomorrow, I have questions. 
    • GTKY: Outside of your home state/province, what's your favorite state/city/province in your country and why? That is such a toss up for me. I love Florida, especially the Keys. Being warm is amazing. But when I visited Ireland a few years ago, I almost didn't come back. It was so beautiful and peaceful.
  • @cheshyre319 good luck tomorrow! My HCG was 8,000 at 5 weeks, and my first ultrasound at 6.5 weeks showed a babe and a healthy heart rate. Sending positive vibes your way!
  • @40momma I like to binge watch shows w/ intense narratives. Like, shows you HAVE to pay attention to or you'll miss something. I watched rest of The Magicians season 3 during my limbo week, for example. DH also kept suggesting I go on walks, which I only did once, and it probably would have been helpful if I'd tried to take in my surroundings and appreciate them instead of playing Pokemon Go on my phone the whole time.... I know you know this: they'd want you to come in if something weren't normal about what's happening. I would be bugging to, though, so I get it. I hope you can find some peace!

    @cheshyre319Those beta #s sound good! Most charts I've looked at online give a ridiculous range that differs in the thousands week by week--check out this one for example. I suppose the only concern I'd have w/ a higher # is the chance for multiples? So a higher end # is still "normal"! I know how impossible it is not to worry over every little thing, so hopefully you'll get some solace/answers at yr appt tomorrow. 
  • You guys, I spent most of the weekend trying not to cry because I felt like most of my symptoms were gone. I was basically begging my body to give me some sign the baby was doing ok in there, but nothing. I was devastated, because you always read that "sudden decrease" of symptoms can be a sign of miscarriage. Well, lo and behold, I woke up Monday morning sick as a dog. I had mild cramps all day (nothing concerning), horrible reflux/heartburn, and more nausea in the evening. Yay? What a mindf**k this all is.
  • Hi all. I’ve had a negative mindset this past week despite a good ultrasound last week. Unfortunately my instinct was right. I went into today and no heartbeat. Baby stopped growing basically at my last appointment (had a heartbeat of 170 at the time). Heart must have stopped that day or next. 

    I’m angry. And lost. This is my 5th loss and the 4th at 8 weeks. Negative workup. Probably genetic. If we ever try again it would be best to do IVF with genetic testing, but that’s at least $25,000. I don’t think my heart can take it, but that’s a decision for another day.

    Anyway, I wish you all the best and hope you welcome some beautiful rainbows in September. 
  • @eme520 I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you. I pray that you are able to have your miracle soon. Please take care of yourself. 
    TTM - EDD 4/23 - Team Green <3 
  • @eme520 I'm so so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine what your heart is feeling right now. Be kind to yourself though this process my friend. 

  • @eme520 my heart is so broken to hear this. It’s not fair. You’ve been through such a rollercoaster. I wish I had something great to say. You have been so wonderful to all here. Take care of yourself. ❤️ And spoil yourself rotten when you start feeling a little better. 
  • @eme520, I am so, so sorry.  My heart is hurting for you.  This journey can be so unbelievably tough, and I am so sorry.
  • @eme520 As others have said, I'm heartbroken for you. Life can be unbelievably cruel sometimes, and no words make the pain any less intense. You'll be in my thoughts friend, best wishes to you.
  • @eme520 I am so sorry. My heart broke for you when I read your update. It's just so unfair. I am sending you so much love and you will be so missed <3
    *TW*
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3


  • @eme520 I am so sorry you are going through this, again. RPL is so incredibly unfair. My heart goes out to you

    @jaykay2004 congratulations on the heartburn and nausea. I haven't felt any nausea yet and I'm so hoping I would, I know I'm crazy but I just want that reassurance

    @kagesstarshroom I've never played so many silly videogames on my phone before. Every time my mind starts to wander I crack it open and try to numb the overthinking brain 
  • @eme520 NOOOO! I am so mad and sad and angry for you! It is just so absolutely unfair! I hope that somehow a reason or resolution comes along so that you can have all the babies you want. It is so so heart wrenching! Please love and take care of yourself and PM me only you need to vent. It is so so so unfair. I’ll be thinking of you! 
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  • @eme520 I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Sending you hugs. It's so unfair. I hope your rainbow baby is in your near future.

  • @eme520 I am so sorry, that is deeply unfair. My heart goes out to you. 
    • How far along are you? 5 weeks 3 days
    • Current mood? Nervous and excited 
    • If you haven't already, or want to share again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. We lost our Zoe at 16 weeks in October. No reasons to why, my water broke at home and had to deliver her and have a d&c for my placenta. 
    • Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? Three HCG tests down! All looking good. Ultrasound on Valentine’s Day. Started progesterone the day we found out 
    • GTKY: Outside of your home state/province, what's your favorite state/city/province in your country and why
  • Oh, @eme520, I'm so sorry. *gentle hug*
    ---
    ♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
    TW: Living children & Losses:
    Mom of sons "Alpha" (Feb 2012) & "Beta" (May 2016)
    Pregnant after 4 losses via IVF/FET with daughter "Gamma" (EDD Oct 2, 2019)
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • naveed7naveed7 member
    edited February 2019
    @eme520 what awful, heart breaking news. I find it's almost worse when you have that positive initial scan with the heart beat. :( praying you have a great support system /family to get you through this. 

    @40momma I too have been having brown dishcarge / spotting the last few days coupled with some mild cramps and have been a wreck, it's so hard to keep our minds on something else when we've been down a crappy MS road in the past. You might want to check to see if there might be a sign of a hematoma as in my u/s they found one and think that is the source of the bleed.

    Does anyone else basically want to live at your doctors so you can do blood tests, etc. Every other day to reasure yourself everything is progressing? I'm a nervous wreck coming up on week 9 with another scan not until week 11 and the days when I don't have any symptoms are the worst. Who knew it would be normal to wish for nausea! Also doing my panorama test on Monday, spending $750 without knowing if all is still well is freaking me out.
  • zuuls_momzuuls_mom member
    edited February 2019
    @naveed7 I know exactly how you feel! I had to schedule an u/s for 10w because there was no way I could do the panorama test again and think all is well only to find out it isn't again. I know I can't prevent something from happening by having more scans, but it's definitely helping my anxiety just a bit. 

    Edit to fix tag
    *TW*
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3


  • @zuuls_mom ugh I'm so glad im not alone in thinking this way. I agree it's not like we have any control in thiss the first trimester for the most part but every positive blood test, etc is definitely reassuring!
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