Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
HoneyBear40
member
Re: Week 4 Check-In: week of 1/21
Due date: March 24
Any appointments? Questions?: Appt. w/ GD dietician Thursday and 32 week appt. on Monday. I’m so excited to see baby on ultrasound for the first time since 20 weeks!
Rants/Raves?: Rave - Snow day today!! I plan to get started on preparing for my maternity leave sub.
How are you feeling?: Pretty good overall. When I read about how uncomfortable some of the ladies in the group are I feel pretty fortunate that I am not experiencing much of that yet. Still 8 more weeks to go though, so it could still be coming!
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? I know I have had strange ones, but I can think of them right now. I did have a naughty dream about my college boyfriend the other night though. 😳
Due date: 3/28
Any appointments? Questions?: Growth scan this Thursday. Excited to see this little girl again. Hoping I'm right and she's head down as for what I've been feeling lately.
Rants/Raves?: Rant: Sleep, breathing and eating can be a pain in the butt lately. Rave: Babymoon is next weekend so I'm excited to escape for a few days of rest.
How are you feeling?: Feeling good. Wearing my old lady compression socks today. Work was so busy yesterday due to the holiday and didn't sit for 3 hours and my feet told on me!
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? One I can remember was one with a Lion in it. It was just weird all around!
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Any appointments? Questions?: appointment yesterday, actually. Baby was measuring ahead for fundal height and is now right on track at 30 weeks.
Was anyone offered optional NST's? I was because I'm in the gray area (AMA but not over 40) and just wondering if anyone else was in that same boat. Everything else has been terrific so far in the pregnancy so we're both thinking we probably don't need to do it, but wondering if I'm missing something by not taking advantage of it.
Rants/Raves?: My provider is due a month after me (which is a yay!) but she will be cutting back her call schedule right around my delivery so if I go to 40+ I will have less than a 20% chance of having her at delivery (there are 5 docs in the practice). Definitely now need to meet a couple of the other docs so it's not so "hey, nice to meet you, let me check your cervix" in one breath. The provider I feel like I'd connect with the least is who my next appt is with.
Hoping she's a little different one on one, she's very aloof personally.
How are you feeling?: So much joint/SPD pain. Like hurts to walk pain, and forget standing on one foot to put on pants/socks.
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? I've had some weirdies, but I can't remember a lot of them. I had one where I was back in school and was participating in a spelling bee.
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19
Due date: 3/29
Any appointments? Questions?: Next appointment is in February.
Rants/Raves?: It’s really hard to stay motivated at work right now. I just want to be home getting ready for baby plus knowing I’ll be out at the end of March until the the next school year makes it hard to motivate myself to do anything!
How are you feeling?: Tired, sore, acid reflux...the usual
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? I’ve had some weird ones, but twice I’ve dreamt about baby talking to me like 2 days after she was born. I can’t remember now what she said, but it felt strange when I woke up.
@jesiannv Me too!! I'm less and less motivated daily at work.
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Due date: 3/29
Any appointments? Questions?: 30wk last Friday, got told baby is measuring 33-34 weeks fundal height. Never been told where I was at based on that measurement before, let alone that I was measuring ahead, so that was strange to hear.
Rants/Raves?: Ranting about my back the last couple days. I need to find the perfect mix of activity - on my feet all day Sunday and my back was killing me, sitting at my desk all day yesterday and my back was killing me. I feel so finicky! Raving that my rings are still fitting - found a note from my 1st pregnancy that I had to go down to just my wedding band at 27 weeks - so far I'm almost 4 weeks longer rocking my rings
Also raving about this kid moving a ton more than I remember DD moving.
How are you feeling?: Other than my back and some severe indigestion over the weekend I'm still doing pretty good considering how far along we are.
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? Last night's dream prompted me to ask you ladies what your strangest dream is because jeepers...I have weird dreams anyway but add pregnancy and they get out there! Last night I helped deliver a friend's baby via c-section and shortly after was in labor for my own baby. Fast forward and I'm at a waterpark with a newborn (not sure the gender) and I'm rocking it in a bikini. Not only are there coworkers of mine there (company outing maybe?) but there's a super hunk of a blonde guy that turns out is my husband & baby's daddy?? Say what? I think I might know who the dreamboat was supposed to be and if he looks like that shirtless in real life I need to reach out and say hi hahahaha.
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Due date: March 25
Any appointments? Questions?: Next appointment is next Tuesday, January 29
Rants/Raves?: I'm boring today
How are you feeling?: Tired, huge and having trouble breathing still
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? Oh I can not remember them to save my life!
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Due date: 3/25ish
Any appointments? Questions?: routine OB appt Friday, chiro next tuesday. I feel like this baby dropped and I had lightening, and then he un-dropped, is that a thing that happens? DD never really dropped, I dont think, so I didn't experience lightening the first time around.
Rants/Raves?: none atm.
How are you feeling?: anxiety is currently getting the better of me, I plan to start sertraline (Zoloft) immediately after delivery.
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? Oh man, I don't think I've had any normal ones I can remember. The most vivid one was of hookung up with the character Daredevil from the most recent incarnation on Netflix, so sad they cancelled that show.
@catlady2105 , the nurses did 99% of checking my cervix, and I didn't know any of them before going in, lol. I did end up with a different Ob for my unplanned cesarean, but I dont blame her for us not having a vaginal birth. DD came out 9lb8oz at 41w2d with a 98%+ head. I suspect I just didn't have a 98%+ pelvic opening and I feel like I got the same care I would have from my original Ob (she was out on vacation).
Due date: 3/25
Any appointments? Questions?: I feel like I should have another appointment but I don't think I do until 34 weeks.
Rants/Raves?: My goodness, I have MN winter. Every year I wonder why we can't just move.
How are you feeling?: Actually, pretty ok. The different belly bands and compression things are helping. I'm trying to sit down off and on, which helps, too. Energy could be better, but for sure could be worse. Not too much to complain about over here!
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? I wish I remembered. I'm not good at recalling dreams
Due date: March 24
Any appointments? Questions?: Had one on Tuesday, everything is good. Doing at ultrasound at the 34 week mark.
Rants/Raves?: I'm sorry I've been so busy and neglected the bump! Hopefully things will be calmer here soon.
How are you feeling?: Like a punching bag, still. Ribs are in pain, back, pubic bone. Have stopped taking the stairs at work, wearing compression socks, leaky boobs, you know, sexy things, hahaha.
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? I was leading a dog sled team and we were racing against wolves and polar bears. Then we started to get chased by buffalo.
Welp it hasn't been so fun. Been having such horrible headache and tooth pain on the whole right side of my face since Jan 7th and it couldn't be a worse time. I have two cavities that I have to wait on getting surgically pulled atleast until April. Until then dealing with this pain on and off and it's been excruciating. I've taken all the antibiotics and there is not yet any relief of pain. My OB approved me Tylenol mixed with codeine --Been having to take that regularly since the 8th, and I hate it for the baby's sake. lt works about 1/3rd of the time. On days like today the pain reaches maximum and nothing at all helps. I have a quite physical job that's getting to be so much strain. Experiencing strong pelvic/crotch pain since my 5th month and here lately it's been a lot of that mixed with major tightening I think because my job involves so much bending, lifting, cleaning. It's been difficult but it's almost better than being home, trying to rest and unable to achieve any. I'm holding on for my boss who is still looking for my replacement and doesn't keep me updated... Everything has been hectic, I come home exhausted to two wild kiddos..dishes and messes piling up and have no energy. And i could really use a dishwasher machine right now! 😐 Get no sleep at night & sometimes all I can do is lay there and wish the pain would stop. I really want to have a talk with my doctor next week about it but idk what can be done to help. I just can't imagine dealing with this through my last month. I was looking forward to rest... Vent session over😁😭
Due date: 3/29
Any appointments? Questions?: Last Friday the baby is measured between 33-34 weeks at 34 weeks so he’s doing well.
Rants/Raves?: I have an anterior placenta so I love finally being able to feel him move. I can see my stomach moving and it’s crazy.
How are you feeling?: Feeling great for the most part! Heels actually feel better on my feet then flats these days, but with the winter weather I make sure to wear flats on days where parking lots could be slick. I can’t wait to get my pre-pregnancy energy back, but hoping I still feel at least this good for the next 6ish weeks.
GTKY: What is the strangest dream you've had this pregnancy so far? So many strange and graphic dreams. I can’t remember many specifics right now except for the one where all of the diamonds fell out of my wedding and engagement band...I woke up angry lol!