Private Group poll - poll CLOSED

lilpotatomama · January 2019

***READ DESCRIPTION: updated***
Based on the results of the poll & board member feedback, we won’t be moving to a private group before the big FB transition.
The transition will be happening sometime in March, and a separate thread will be opened at that time with any directions and rules.
Thanks for participating!
Any newbies - please feel free to interact and participate as much as possible until then!

mrstmoose · January 2019

FWIW, my previous BMB went straight to FB and besides one major fallout about 6 months after our babies were born, it's been pretty low key and I love those ladies. I don't think we will go wrong as long as the active members are the ones who are a part of it. Not to purposely leave out others, but we don't really want the randoms who posted one or two times to have access to our real lives.

kosmo86 · January 2019

I would prefer to skip the private TB group and go to a FB group in April. Unless there is some crazy drama I would skip the private group. We never did one with my last BMB and neither did any of the months around us so it seems to be a way bigger trend then it used to be.

I have a REALLY hard time bumping in mobile. I try to be active here (and I think I am) but I would be WAY more active if I could use my phone. I really only bump while at work right now.

lilpotatomama · January 2019

Good feedback for sure. The app is super wonky for me and I wonder if a private group would even work on my phone.
This is my first bmb, so I’d really prefer to follow the lead of the FTMs who’ve done this before (like y’all!) and it sounds like straight to FB in April works pretty well.

ETA: words

sheknows6 · January 2019

I'm in a few private groups, and I use mobile for them. The app is glitchy sometimes but for the most part it's not that tough to use....to be honest I would feel more comfortable moving to a PG before going to FB if for no other reason than I'm not quite ready to open up my entire private life to this group just yet, and it will allow the group to solidify more before transitioning.

I'm sure not all the regs here will wind up in the group once the babies are here, and it's always a good idea to be careful about who is able to see your personal info/life. I imagine we will be sharing quite a bit in these groups so better safe than sorry.

I totally understand if that's what the group decides but that's my $0.02

mrstmoose · January 2019

@sheknows6 at least with my other group, it started out with just you and baby info, and gradually as we got to know each other IRL, it became more personal. The first few months were basically figuring out babies out and trying to get each other through the day.

MRDCle · January 2019

I haven't voted yet because I'm not 100% of my feelings, BUT I will say I am nervous about waiting till April to make the switch, because by then I will be in like, the trenches with two newborns and I don't want you guys to leave me behind

sheknows6 · January 2019

@mrstmoose totally understand! I agree it will be a learning curve in terms of what is shared and when, but I would not feel comfortable going straight to FB until the group was more locked down.

I can share a baby pic here in a PG, contribute, and keep getting to know everyone without revealing my full name, city, and whatever else may be public on FB straight off the bat. Just from my personal experience (and it's different for everyone) it's not always a good idea to go real life so fast *shrug

MRDCle · January 2019

OK. I have deciding on my feelings. I think that a private group (earlier rather than later, preferably for me) which transitions to a FB group would probably be best. Give us some time to get a little more used to each other and make it easier to weed out the creepers. I also think it would maybe make the FB transition easier? Like, fewer hurt feelings. I know the move to FB process for my last BMB (F15, made the move to FB in late Dec 14) resulted in some people upset they weren't invited, but since I wasn't privy to the process behind who got invited I'm not sure how all of that went.

TheSouffleGirl · January 2019

I would also vote for FB in April or even May (when in April would we switch?)

I'm not sure I see a need to have a private TB group yet unless people are really frustrated by drive-bys or itching to share more personal info. My old group went private super early because they hoped it would get back a couple of banned users, but it didn't, and I don't feel like it added to my experience (mainly it just let everyone mock the people who didn't get invited, not that I think this group would do that). It also caused us to miss out on a couple of cool regulars who came late, AND I still felt obliged to keep up with the public board because there were a lot of people there who didn't make the cut but needed/wanted help, even into the first few postpartum months.

I also have to confess I didn't join my old BMB's Facebook group, which started months after our kids were born (we used another board service after everyone got sick of TB). I just didn't feel like we had a lot in common after our kids were 4-6 months old, and a couple of big political fights turned me off a lot of the people.

I think I would join one for this group, but I'd feel more comfortable & to me it makes more sense after our kids are 2-3 months old--there are initially even more threads into/after the birth month b/c it's all the old ones + every aspect of newborn life, and organizing topics on Facebook is a PAIN.

That being said, I don't plan on ghosting, whatever people vote for.

thatbaintforbetty · January 2019

I haven’t voted because I have conflicting opinions. The bump app and mobile site are glitchy as all hell and drive me nuts. But i am not a huge fan of the FB group layout/interface.

I would probably be more comfortable in late Feb or March then sooner. But I’ll probably roll with the majority. My last board went to FB around the time babies were born and it worked fine. They were much more dramatic then this lot so I’m hoping we will continue to be a chill group.

I promise we wont leave you @MRDCle regardless of when we/where we move!

mermaidca · January 2019

I'll echo what's been said above. I don't totally see a point of going to a private group before heading over to yet another private group just on a different app. I don't think our BMB is too hectic or overrun with randoms. For the most part I feel like we have a pretty solid core group and maybe I'm super naive but I like and trust all of you. It seems like moving to a PG before FB is a newer trend but I don't really see how it would weed anyone out per se.

But saying all that, I'm game for whatever the group decides in the end.

MRDCle · January 2019

@thesoufflegirl see for me, I think that the whole birth/early NB stage really helped our last BMB solidify on FB. Having some place to go when you're up BF/pumping/mixing bottles and having the weird gross night sweats that NOBODY tells you about and just have MOTN chatter was so nice.

And yeah pretty much what everyone is saying - I'll go with the flow (which seems to be a big theme in our very easygoing BMB) and thank you @thatbaintforbetty!!

mrstmoose · January 2019

I think once babies get here, FB will be much easier to access. Since everyone seems to be in agreement that TB app is glitchy, most of us aren't going to have time while we are feeding a NB to get on our laptops to bump. FB will be easier because it requires one hand. But I do see why we would go to a private group first and then transition around when babies are born.

jayhawkmom4 · January 2019

I am honestly game for anything as long as I am part of it

I have never been part of the process so I don't have strong feelings one way or another.

mrstmoose · January 2019

@MRDCle everything you said in your most recent post is on point 100%. We all will NEED that connection when our babies are tiny. It's hard.

TheSouffleGirl · January 2019

@MRDCle: That makes sense, that FB is likely to be more real-time and chatty. I guess our group went to FB so late I didn't get to see what it was like in the newborn stage.

Also I should add that I don't use the app, so I totally defer to anyone whose life would be made a lot easier by moving to FB.

thatbaintforbetty · January 2019

@MRDCle I totally forgot about the MOTN feeding and how nice it was to have FB at that point. And FB games. I went through like 2000 levels of cookie jam hella fast due to MOTN feedings. Lol.

kosmo86 · January 2019

MOTN chat were really good for us in FB. We had a whole extra group chat just for middle of the night.

How it worked in our group is about 3 weeks before the start of OUR month we switched to FB. We had 5 admins, if you wanted in the FB you had to PM them. I believe they had a admin chat going on and if they didn't think you were a regular poster they asked you to participate more.

I would share way more pictures and things on FB then I do here. Since I can't take the glichiness of the App and my pics are on my phone I don't really do many pictures (like hump day). I don't think going private would change that and its true that you would just find yourself going back and forth between the private and the original BMB which is a pain.

There are a lot of advantages to switching to FB (eventually) the best is that you can comment under someone elses post and keeps subjects together. I hate how it sometimes feels like I can't respond to someone in the randoms bc its too far up the thread.

honey_suckle · January 2019

I think for me it would be nice to switch to a FB group for a few reasons: I mostly use the bump app which messes up my writing all the time (adds words and jumbles the text whenever it autosaves) and doesn't update me when people likes or answers my posts. I have a hard time keeping up with the random thread as well with the time difference, and I mostly post in the weekly updates so I feel like I mainly follow the people due the same week as me. I think I would have an easier time to follow general discussions in a FB group, and I'd be able to be more active, but who knows.

I'm kind of in the same situation as @MRDCle in terms of likely delivering early, so I fear that I might miss the transition if it happens in april or the months after that, especially considering she's a lot more active in the group than me. In general I'm not too worried about people knowing who I am, but maybe that's because I'm already in a facebook group for twin moms 2019 where people are sharing birthing stories etc.

ysotte · January 2019

I’m on board with jumping straight to FB when the time comes. I’m in the group of people using The Bump app. It’s difficult to navigate because of glitchiness. Sometimes pages won’t load or it will log me out and it’s hard to keep up with conversations since I don’t get any notifications.

harveyisaboysname · January 2019

I currently use thebump on my iPhone through safari and it’s so annoying which is why I’m not as active as I want to be ( i hope I’m still considered active though). I’m not sure a private group would be much easier for me. I do, however, use the Facebook app regularly because I actually get notifications from it.
I don’t think I’d be interested in joining a group until late February/ March. I think that’s when my last BMB moved to fb because we had some early babies.

HGRich · January 2019

So I read about a third of the above posts so I might be just reiterating. But my former BMB moved to FB the month before, and while I did like that it stayed active on TB for the few who didn’t want to move/didn’t have Facebook, we had twins born at 24 weeks, and four other babies born before we moved over, and I totally understand about being there to support those moms on FB. So moving to FB earlier isn’t a bad idea. But I know as some have said, I feel strongly that it’s important to be cautious about who joins, just because it’s the privacy of our families and babies we’re surrendering somewhat. But I trust many of you who have been very regular from the start to make those decisions.

lyse01 · January 2019

I vote for a transition sooner rather than later 1) because I’m due 4/2 so a term baby could come as early as the second week of March, and 2) because last time I delivered SO early and was SO in the nicu trenches that I totally missed the entire BMB transition (I found the messages a year later...oops). I definitely don’t want any regulars to be left out because they are so swamped with a newborn or two that they can’t keep up with a glitchy app. (Strongly held opinion)

As for fb/private tb group...the app is def glitchy and I use it anyway. I wouldn’t mind bringing the regulars here (and I would consider all PP on this thread regulars) into my fb world, but I do want to be sensitive to those who might not use fb, or who are less comfortable, and give them a chance to get better acquainted first. I think any transition that divides the conversation runs the risk of making this public board less vibrant and gives the latecomers less of a chance to make the connections they want/need. I do want to give them a fair shot, though, and I think a private group here is more likely to have me continue contributing in this platform than a transition right now to a completely different platform. (Weakly held opinion)

rennie1108 · January 2019

I'd prefer a fb transition, although I don't have a strong opinion on when that would be. Like many of you, I have a difficult time using the app so I mainly bump at work, but I'm not allowed to have my phone in the lab (friggin' Nazi Germany over here) which is why I don't always post my bump pics that I take and why I'm not always as active because I get overwhelmed with all the responses when I don't have time to look at everything. Anywho, call me naive, but I'm not one to be too concerned about privacy when switching to facebook, although I will say that I don't actually post much on facebook because I don't like some of my not-so-close fb friends knowing all my business. I'd be much more likely to post on our private fb page, though!

mrstmoose · January 2019

A good point is that you can make your FB profile private (which it should be anyways), so even when we do start a FB, you can add the admin you feel most comfortable with and then delete them after you're added to the group. I'm friends with a good chunk of the previous BMB now, but that was gradual over the last 2.5 years.

If you were to look for me on FB, you'd only be able to see my profile picture and whatever the big picture is behind it. Neither have DD in them, just me and DH, to protect her privacy.

angelob88 · January 2019

I want to semi put my opinion in although I'm not as active as I want to be. I think a lot of that comes down to not being a huge fan of the app and preferring to hop on during the day at work when I have some time (which hasn't been a ton lately) and using the computer. I feel like FB would be more user friendly in that aspect. An earlier transition wouldn't be a bad thing but I would feel badly for those in the public group if they get left behind once everything migrates. Posting on a board that basically stops cold turkey is hard for those who prefer not to make the transition.

I'll leave it up to those who want to organize everything to decide the when but I feel like a straight transition to FB would be easier for some, especially those who don't prefer the bump app.

kangstadt · January 2019

I would be okay with a FB transition sometime in March, and agree that privacy settings can definitely help with some of the stranger-danger anxiety of joining a group on there. Would the FB group itself be private as well and invitation only? I'm not familiar with admin settings, but I'm sure there are ways to make it private and only choose people who have been regulars to join.

mrstmoose · January 2019

@kangstadt usually a few people get voted to be admins (it's also usually an odd number, just in case - so 3 or 5) who have been on this BMB since the beginning, are considered regulars, and have a good grasp of who participates regularly. The FB groups are also private, meaning you can't just "find" them on FB if you google them. Usually you will either tell the admin your actual name and they will add you, you will add an admin and then go from there, etc. I don't remember how my first BMB did it but I'm sure I can go back and figure it out (which sounds like a daunting task).

MRDCle · January 2019

Yes, it would definitely have to be a private, secret group on FB IMO. I think that those yes, you have to be added by an admin that you are friends with. If/when it happens yes, you can temporarily add an admin and then remove them as friends. When adding someone as a friend, you can also restrict what they can see if that part is worrisome as well.

kosmo86 · January 2019

@mrstmoose lol I just went back to my old BMB and looked at our FB transition thread!

Here were our guidelines
"The admins have been using a set of rules to screen people. There are 7 of us and you need a yes vote of recognition from at least 4 to get an invite. We also look at people's post histories if we are on the fence or aren't sure if we recognize you. We don't have a hard rule for number of posts per month or anything, but we look at how people usually contribute - is it more than the occasional short one-liner, do you try to give as much as you get, are you active on a variety of threads, etc. That said, we have generally been pretty generous about what constitutes regular, supportive posting, given that some people have more time to get on/read/participate than others."

I think we had a bigger board and ended up with close to 100 at the end and then it whittled down over the years. I am in a splinter group now with about 40 of us. There were quite a few people left out and were upset but they were more 'regular lurkers' then posters

sheknows6 · January 2019

Chiming in again to add I would fully be on board with a FB group provided it was a "Secret" group, especially since the majority seems to want to transition straight over at some point. Good call out @mrdcle!

I admin for my most active private group on our FB group and it's nice that one of the other admins or myself has to invite/approve members, and the fact that it's "Secret" keeps it from being searchable. Just an added layer of privacy in an online world that doesn't offer much.

I would also volunteer to be an admin for the group if others were ok with it. I'm familiar with it and a very active FB user. I second having an odd # of admins and I love the majority vote guidelines from your group @kosmo86

jlklec19 · January 2019

I second those who have said they're game for whatever the group decides. I do agree though that FB's app is easier to use than The Bump's (I wasn't having trouble until the last week or so and now it's gotten so glitchy that I just find time to catch up on my laptop because it's easier to read/see everything).

wildcosmiclove · January 2019

I prefer FB. My BMB for D12 transistioned to some other site for a while before going to FB and it was kind of a pain. We ended up switching to FB groups not long after, but a few of us had already become FB friends at that point. The group is a secret group and still going strong. I believe we switched shortly before due dates started rolling in.

MRDCle · January 2019

I'd second your nomination @sheknows6.

lin0442 · January 2019

Yes, a secret FB group starting in March/early April would be good. The private groups on TB can be a bit of a pain to access, and I don’t feel like our board is particularly overrun with drivebys and/or drama. Discussions can get a little lost in FB, but TB’s interface (app or browser) is a huge pain sometimes.

Ideally, I’d like a functional, private old-school message board interface rather than FB, but those platforms have fallen by the wayside a lot in favor of social media.

s_montgomery · January 2019

I would opt for any private non-FB group before a FB transition just because I am not and will not be on FB. It's a choice my husband and I made together and we are firm on our decision. I appreciate this board and agree The Bump app is glitchy. I will take as much more time as I can get with ladies here. On the positive side- if there's a regular in the group who can't stand my long comments or for other reasons just doesn't like me, they won't have to deal with me in the FB group.
It sounds really beneficial and almost makes me want to create a FB account just for the Mom support, but I don't think I would.

azpuruas · January 2019

I just joined you lovely ladies today because I stumbled upon this amazing site super late into this pregnancy, and I'm not sure if my vote would matter much due to that, but I can say that I would definitely prefer the FB group. It may be because I'm new and haven't quite figured out the interface of TB web page and app, but I'm in a few different groups on FB and I love how easy it is to communicate on there more so than on here. I feel like it's one of the best apps/websites to use as far as keeping up to date and communicating with each other.

And for those of you who are worried about privacy being an issue, if you have your personal FB set to private then that keeps the majority of your info hidden to those who you aren't friends with. The great thing about the FB groups is that you don't have to 'friend' everyone in that group to join and communicate with them, which keeps a certain level of privacy. Yes, they'll see your profile and select pictures that you have, but anyone online can view those, and I'm assuming we're going to be posting plenty of photos in the FB group anyway. So it's pretty much up to you at that point to divulge as much or as little personal info as you please.

But I would be down for whatever you all decide to do! I'm just relieved to finally have found a group of what seems to be drama free expectant mothers lol.

mrstmoose · January 2019

@mighty_montgomery if you ever change your mind, my other BMB had a few ladies who weren't on FB and they created a profile just for TB. So they had their first name, made up a last name (usually TB) and were still able to communicate without having to have a full blown FB account. And we knew who they were.

kosmo86 · January 2019

@mighty_montgomery came to say what @mrstmoose said. We had a few girls who created a facebook for the group and made it very private and did not friend anyone (so it was JUST for the group)

snowhite12 · January 2019

I vote skip private, go straight to FB. I would be a lot more open and active on FB. Like other posters said, I hate using the mobile app and usually only get on at work. Also, that creepy catfish shit going down on F19 freaks me out.

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