I need to rant. It’s probably petty but I’m so frustrated.
When my nephew was due, my in laws booked a flight to visit him within a month of his due date so they could meet him immediately. They went for a month to Australia despite the fact that they were coming home in July for 1 month since we had a wedding to attend. Now our baby is due at the end of August and they’re like oh we’re going to go visit Australia in November since you’re coming home for Christmas (baby will be 3+ months). So you couldn’t wait to meet nephew but our baby, no big deal, you’ll meet it when we come home?
Their favouritism is always so clear. They have yet to visit us but instead went to Australia again for a month in November when we asked them to come for Christmas since we were alone. They’re retired and have loads of money so neither is an issue for them. I know it’s probably petty and I shouldn’t be annoyed but it drives me insane.
Girl in 1st Tri scheduled an ultrasound because her period is late and she has all the pregnancy symptoms, but no positive hpt... maybe start with a blood test?!
@AKuzReve I would be irritated too. Obvious favoritism amongst children has always been a bit boggling to me, especially since my parents are pretty good about treating my brother and I evenly. My ex-husband's mother was open about her preference for her daughter, and it was always so painful for him.
@dogmomma096 I have to assume she's paying oop for a private u/s, because I've never heard of a physician going for a u/s before a blood test.
@deecherise, she will say she doesn’t but their actions are so clear. But I am petty as hell so that’s fine if they choose that but I will choose to spend time with my parents and my family when we visit in December with my baby. I won’t be going to see them 3 hours away more than once so they will only get to see the baby 1 time. My parents have both already booked time off to come right after baby is born.
@dogmomma096 I get the feeling my physician's group is stricter than average--- they require a confirmation/education appointment where they confirm things by blood and urine before a u/s can be scheduled. I think that lady is being ridiculous to seek out an u/s if hpts are still coming up negative. They won't be able to really see anything.
@dogmomma096, the 7 weeks along one? Symptoms could mean a number of things. Without a pregnancy confirmation, she isn’t pregnant. People can get phantom symptoms and it happens all the time.
Ahhh @deecherise it’s such a knee jerk reaction to say “good _____!” When your kid does something good. I’ve had to consciously make an effort to praise the behavior instead: “Wow, I really love those manners!” Or “You just brushed your teeth by yourself, how great!”
But man sometimes “good boy/girl” just slips out 😬
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@AKuzReve Oh I know, I was just judging the crazy a little 😂 if you’re convinced you’re KU but have no positive hpt to prove it, maybe go for a blood test first before just scheduling an ultrasound! I hope she lets us know what happens.
The trimester boards never fail to deliver on crazy...
@AKuzReve We have mega favoritism issues with my in laws as well. SIL and her children are always prioritized over anything to do with us, even when DS was only 3 weeks old and her kids were significantly older (therefore, less immediate/urgent needs). I know it is so infuriating, but, it's about who they are, not anything you did wrong. It doesn't bother me anymore, but I no longer make efforts to force the relationship. My general feeling is screw them. They put in no effort, they get to have the relationship that reflects that lack of effort.
Anyone else snowed in? The part of Missouri I'm in is getting hammered, and everyone seems to be losing their minds a bit. The plows haven't been through to clear out anything, and I'm seriously doubting my ability to go to work tomorrow. 13-15 inches and it's still coming down.
While I do think it’s a little cray cray to schedule an US with no positive test there’s a small part of me that can get she probably wants to be pregnant so badly she’s just grasping at straws and letting her emotions take over her brain. Now what I can’t understand at all are the women who make it through their whole pregnancy without knowing they are pregnant! Didn’t there even used to be a show about that?? I think that is insane and a major WTF
Wow! Where is this crazy drama? I missed the thread!! When I was in the ER this pregnancy, they waited for my new beta results to refer me to EPAC because the early pregnancy clinic won't do an US below 2000 since you can't see anything before that apparently. Which is certainly waaaay more than necessary for a +hpt. So if you're getting BFN.... An US certainly won't show anything.
Also, apparently "I didn't know I was pregnant" is actually a thing. DH once had a patient who was a nurse at a hospital. She Went into ER on her shift with abdo pain, and delivered a full term baby. And it was her 3rd!!! She had no idea! DH said she still looked pregnant after the delivery, so can't believe she wouldn't know. I can't understand it. I feel like garbage ALL the time. I don't know how someone wouldn't realize... 😂
Any other former breast feeders having issues with the no longer a nursling? DS2 breastfed until September, around 2.5 years old. It was a looooong process to wean him, but I went on a work trip that I turned into a girls trip for a week. When I came back he asked to nurse once but nothing was there so we were done. He never brought it up again.
lately he’s been asking for “boobie milk” and asking if he can see my boobies. It’s been a few months of zero interest and now this? I used to think people were cray when they said the baby can smell you (like if you were still in the house but on the other side of the house) but this may have my mind changed 😬
@deecherise We got abou to 5 inches and everyone is acting like it’s the end of the world. Tried to grocery shop last night and the shelves were cleared of almost everything I needed and (most annoyingly) the stuff I was craving. I’m not impressed.
@aecm IDK how the grocery stores look here (I just went straight home when the snow started) , but my parents are 1 state over in an affected area, and they said all of the bananas were gone from their grocery store 😂😂😂
We're currently at 20 inches, and it hasn't stopped yet. My housemate and I (I live in an adjoined duplex) were entertaining ourselves after the internet went out by watching our neighbors try to leave the neighborhood in vehicles that are definitely not 4WD or AWD. It did not go well for the 3 that made attempts.
@calee633 Absolutely. Definitely reach out to HR. Our policy at work is 12 weeks unpaid from FMLA, but the first 6 can be covered by STD at 60% and the other 40% can be made up with sick leave. The last 6 weeks are required to be unpaid if you want to take the full 12. It varies widely by employer and by state (I’m assuming you’re from the US since you’re concerned about leave 😂).
Ok sorry everyone today was super busy. To make a long story short, my mother was an addict. It started when I was about 15/16 but didn’t get bad until I moved out when I was 18. It was awful. She always struggled with mental health issues but she and my dad had a surprise baby when I was 15 and I think there was some serious PPD that went untreated for many, many years (side note: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER THE BABY. So so important.)
I stopped speaking to her, blocked her on social media, cut her out of my life when DS1 was a couple of weeks old. I could go into the entire story but it’s painful and only my therapist, husband, and best friend have seen the messages she sent me that finally pushed me over the edge. She died two years ago this month. DS2 was 7 months old. DS1 was 4.5.
we drove to the funeral, paid for everything—funeral itself, cremation, catering, bought groceries for my dad and brother, clothes for them to wear to the funeral, etc. and then we “accidentally” left our portion of her ashes there. But one of my older brothers brought it back for me (so nice).
Once the urn was in my house, the weird stuff started happening. We woke up and one of our walls was COVERED floor to ceiling in flies. My mother was very gossipy and would always say, “I wish I could be a fly on their wall.” We had just built our house and called the developer to see what the hell happened. They found nothing externally wrong with the house and when we got home there was no sign of flies, alive or dead.
i was working from home from day, home alone, and all of a sudden all of my alarms started going off. Kids alarms, my phone, fire, carbon monoxide and I thought, “omg there’s a fire” so I ran upstairs and literally moment my foot hit the top stair, every door on my second floor (6 of them) opened and slammed shut and the alarms stopped. It was so scary.
Our basement is unfinished and never used and every morning the lights would be on and the door opened even though we checked every night. I would see her when I closed a door for a split second. I saw her in DS2s room a lot and then DS’s closet would always be opened and he started refusing to sleep in his room. I also saw her when I went to Florida to visit my best friend. I took the baby with me (he was 10 months at this point) and whenever I’d go in the room to check on him I would see her behind the door, always for a split second.
When I talked to the medium, he said that spirit will often take up space as theirs which would explain the basement. He also said the attempts to scare me were out of desperation because she spent so many years desperately trying to reconcile (maybe true but she also was a terrible mother who spread a ton of viscous lies about me and didn’t act like she wanted anything to do with me so no sympathy there). We saged, I did a ritual where I took her ashes somewhere and talked to her and told her not to come back. She’s never been one to respect a boundary though.
I am debating getting the medium invplved again. But even when I talked to him, he said that for someone that had four children and six grandchildren her biggest priority was on what other people thought of her and my dad (he was already seeing someone else after many years of marriage and a few weeks after his wife died) and she didn’t seem concerned at all about her family and it was pretty gross (his quote).
So now more weird stuff is happened and I felt this huge sense of relief and freedom when she died but here I am, still dealing with her stupid bullshit. And it’s really frustrating. I just wish I had a normal mom. I can only focus on being one for my kids though.
@lilmamabebe3 that is so fucked up. My sympathies. It kind of seems like her haunting flares up when you're pregnant/have a new child. Do you think that could be because she felt affronted about not being involved with DS2? I have no advice other than definitely contacting that medium again.
@deecherise well, she passed when I already had DS2, but she seems to be pissed about our house.
TW: drugs The day we closed, she knew and posted a meme of a guy in an alley about to shoot up and it said, “Sometimes we mourn the death of our children while they’re alive.” And she wrote this long ass message about how it was “so true” and “so sad” and uhhh I’ve never done drugs. You lost me because of YOUR drug problem. END TW
Shes just a boundary crosser and She wasn’t a part of any of my pregnancies so maybe that’s what it is? I have no idea. I just don’t want her here. My kids aren’t sleeping at night again and the same weird stuff is happening again. I’m so, so over it and so tired of it.
@lilmamabebe3 my DS asked to nurse if he saw me without a shirt for several months after weaning... I think if you can just redirect, offer a drink and some snuggles it can help. Yes, they can smell you. also sorry about your mom. family can be rough.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@lilmamabebe3 wow that is a crazy story. I grew up in a really old house - built in the 1800s - and weird stuff that was completely unexplainable would happen all of the time, although not scary or personal like yours. I would definitely involve a medium (or 2 or 3!). And well this may be extreme have you considered moving?
Re: Weekly Randoms 1/7/19
When my nephew was due, my in laws booked a flight to visit him within a month of his due date so they could meet him immediately. They went for a month to Australia despite the fact that they were coming home in July for 1 month since we had a wedding to attend. Now our baby is due at the end of August and they’re like oh we’re going to go visit Australia in November since you’re coming home for Christmas (baby will be 3+ months). So you couldn’t wait to meet nephew but our baby, no big deal, you’ll meet it when we come home?
Their favouritism is always so clear. They have yet to visit us but instead went to Australia again for a month in November when we asked them to come for Christmas since we were alone. They’re retired and have loads of money so neither is an issue for them. I know it’s probably petty and I shouldn’t be annoyed but it drives me insane.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@dogmomma096 I have to assume she's paying oop for a private u/s, because I've never heard of a physician going for a u/s before a blood test.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
But man sometimes “good boy/girl” just slips out 😬
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@AKuzReve We have mega favoritism issues with my in laws as well. SIL and her children are always prioritized over anything to do with us, even when DS was only 3 weeks old and her kids were significantly older (therefore, less immediate/urgent needs). I know it is so infuriating, but, it's about who they are, not anything you did wrong. It doesn't bother me anymore, but I no longer make efforts to force the relationship. My general feeling is screw them. They put in no effort, they get to have the relationship that reflects that lack of effort.
When I was in the ER this pregnancy, they waited for my new beta results to refer me to EPAC because the early pregnancy clinic won't do an US below 2000 since you can't see anything before that apparently. Which is certainly waaaay more than necessary for a +hpt. So if you're getting BFN.... An US certainly won't show anything.
Also, apparently "I didn't know I was pregnant" is actually a thing. DH once had a patient who was a nurse at a hospital. She Went into ER on her shift with abdo pain, and delivered a full term baby. And it was her 3rd!!! She had no idea! DH said she still looked pregnant after the delivery, so can't believe she wouldn't know.
I can't understand it. I feel like garbage ALL the time. I don't know how someone wouldn't realize... 😂
lately he’s been asking for “boobie milk” and asking if he can see my boobies. It’s been a few months of zero interest and now this? I used to think people were cray when they said the baby can smell you (like if you were still in the house but on the other side of the house) but this may have my mind changed 😬
We're currently at 20 inches, and it hasn't stopped yet. My housemate and I (I live in an adjoined duplex) were entertaining ourselves after the internet went out by watching our neighbors try to leave the neighborhood in vehicles that are definitely not 4WD or AWD. It did not go well for the 3 that made attempts.
20 inches - I get stocking up for a couple days. 5 inches - totally unnecessary. Smh.
I stopped speaking to her, blocked her on social media, cut her out of my life when DS1 was a couple of weeks old. I could go into the entire story but it’s painful and only my therapist, husband, and best friend have seen the messages she sent me that finally pushed me over the edge. She died two years ago this month. DS2 was 7 months old. DS1 was 4.5.
we drove to the funeral, paid for everything—funeral itself, cremation, catering, bought groceries for my dad and brother, clothes for them to wear to the funeral, etc. and then we “accidentally” left our portion of her ashes there. But one of my older brothers brought it back for me (so nice).
Once the urn was in my house, the weird stuff started happening. We woke up and one of our walls was COVERED floor to ceiling in flies. My mother was very gossipy and would always say, “I wish I could be a fly on their wall.” We had just built our house and called the developer to see what the hell happened. They found nothing externally wrong with the house and when we got home there was no sign of flies, alive or dead.
i was working from home from day, home alone, and all of a sudden all of my alarms started going off. Kids alarms, my phone, fire, carbon monoxide and I thought, “omg there’s a fire” so I ran upstairs and literally moment my foot hit the top stair, every door on my second floor (6 of them) opened and slammed shut and the alarms stopped. It was so scary.
Our basement is unfinished and never used and every morning the lights would be on and the door opened even though we checked every night. I would see her when I closed a door for a split second. I saw her in DS2s room a lot and then DS’s closet would always be opened and he started refusing to sleep in his room. I also saw her when I went to Florida to visit my best friend. I took the baby with me (he was 10 months at this point) and whenever I’d go in the room to check on him I would see her behind the door, always for a split second.
When I talked to the medium, he said that spirit will often take up space as theirs which would explain the basement. He also said the attempts to scare me were out of desperation because she spent so many years desperately trying to reconcile (maybe true but she also was a terrible mother who spread a ton of viscous lies about me and didn’t act like she wanted anything to do with me so no sympathy there). We saged, I did a ritual where I took her ashes somewhere and talked to her and told her not to come back. She’s never been one to respect a boundary though.
I am debating getting the medium invplved again. But even when I talked to him, he said that for someone that had four children and six grandchildren her biggest priority was on what other people thought of her and my dad (he was already seeing someone else after many years of marriage and a few weeks after his wife died) and she didn’t seem concerned at all about her family and it was pretty gross (his quote).
So now more weird stuff is happened and I felt this huge sense of relief and freedom when she died but here I am, still dealing with her stupid bullshit. And it’s really frustrating. I just wish I had a normal mom. I can only focus on being one for my kids though.
TW: drugs The day we closed, she knew and posted a meme of a guy in an alley about to shoot up and it said, “Sometimes we mourn the death of our children while they’re alive.” And she wrote this long ass message about how it was “so true” and “so sad” and uhhh I’ve never done drugs. You lost me because of YOUR drug problem. END TW
Shes just a boundary crosser and She wasn’t a part of any of my pregnancies so maybe that’s what it is? I have no idea. I just don’t want her here. My kids aren’t sleeping at night again and the same weird stuff is happening again. I’m so, so over it and so tired of it.
also sorry about your mom. family can be rough.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17