May 2019 Moms

Finances

I haven’t seen a thread about finances and planning for your new addition. What strategies are you using to save? How’s your insurance stacking up? 

Personally, I’m a little distraught. We are not nearly as prepared financially for baby #2. My husband and I took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class the year before we found out we were pregnant (which I HIGHLY recommend). In a matter of less than 1 year we paid off all or debts including credit cards, vehicle loans, and my student loan! Unfortunately, we have fallen off the budget  wagon and have also purchased a used truck. Now I feel lost and I HATE the payments every month. The costs of a new baby keep adding up in my head and it’s starting to really stress me out. I had to change insurance this year so that adds another layer of unknowns. In the end I know we will figure it out, as I know people have done more with less but it’s still daunting!
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Re: Finances

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  • @chloelavon if y'all had a system that was working and you stopped using it, common sense says just...you know, start using that system again? 
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  • I haven’t seen a thread about finances and planning for your new addition. What strategies are you using to save? How’s your insurance stacking up? 

    Personally, I’m a little distraught. We are not nearly as prepared financially for baby #2. My husband and I took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class the year before we found out we were pregnant (which I HIGHLY recommend). In a matter of less than 1 year we paid off all or debts including credit cards, vehicle loans, and my student loan! Unfortunately, we have fallen off the budget  wagon and have also purchased a used truck. Now I feel lost and I HATE the payments every month. The costs of a new baby keep adding up in my head and it’s starting to really stress me out. I had to change insurance this year so that adds another layer of unknowns. In the end I know we will figure it out, as I know people have done more with less but it’s still daunting!
    Girl, if you really want to participate you need to get to know us first. Introducing yourself and commenting on other posts before you start your own thread would be a start. Just FYI. 


  • If you follow Dave Ramsey, you know what to do. Sell your car and buy something you can afford without payments. Stop borrowing money. Make a budget and stick to it.
    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
  • @anonellis tell me more of this Dave Ramsey hate... my fiance listens to him a lot, and I'm curious.
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  • FWIW we follow Dave Ramsey, use the Every Dollar budget religiously, and it's saved many a fight. I'm the one that needs financial regulation as DH is awesome with money and I need to be reigned in so he spearheaded that for us. But yeah, if it worked before just go back to it. It seems like an easy solution?
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  • @DuchessOfCambridge ok that was my number one complaint tbh. My fiance has literally never paid a bill late in his life BUT he also refuses to get any sort of credit card, so he has zero credit history. His credit score should be excellent, but because he has no credit history, it's just in the good-very good range. I am trying to gently persuade him to get a card that earns some useful rewards and pay it off every month just to boost his score. 
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  • I have not read any of his stuff but we use credit cards for everything and pay in full at end of month. By using credit cards we get cash back, miles and other benefits vs paying cash and our credit card gives us another 2 years of warranty on purchases.  Using credit can be good especially when managed well. We wouldn’t have been able to buy a home without credit either 
  • @DuchessOfCambridge @sleepy33 yes, I know very little about Dave Ramsey but the idea of using NO credit at all just seems ridiculous. Why do I want to drive around in a crappy car just so I can pay cash. I have 0% interest on my loan for my car. My mom also put me on her credit card way back when to start building my credit. Right out of college did I carry a small balance some months on my own credit card - yes, even though I was working a great job in tech I was living in one of the most expensive areas in the country and I didn't want to pass up great opportunities to travel, either on vacation or to visit my family across the country (those were the months I had a balance). DH and I have great credit and when we leave the Bay Area and buy a house that will be HUGE for us. Does he recommend buying a house in cash? Or just renting forever? I don't understand how the no credit thing makes sense in that instance.

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  • @kvh22 I think he recommends buying a house in cash and if you can't do that then you shouldn't. Which is so unrealistic in today's world. And yes, you need to LIVE. It's great you didn't pass up opportunities. Obviously being smart about money is important but we definitely spent more on fun stuff before we had DS and I don't regret it at all, it was a wonderful time in our lives.

  • @anonellis oh yes, I remember part of it was tithing? I'm not Christian so I sort of ignored it. My religion does its own thing and it's at a particular time every year and is 2% based on what you have AT THAT TIME. Not based on income or anything like that. If you have x amount in the bank plus a few other types of savings/wealth, it's 2% on that. It's nice because if the month before you had, I don't know, a big hospital bill or something, it doesn't tear you apart to do the 2% (which goes to charity).

  • @anonellis that is much better phrased and thought through than anything I could have written although I don't have very much knowledge on the particular philosphy anyways. Having gone to 6 years of Catholic school and taken 6 years of CCD (Sunday school) before that, I'm not aware of any current teachings that were ever emphasized in my classes on debt/loans, etc. DH's brother and SIL are against credit/debt although we don't discuss it. They don't travel or spend money on much and won't even take out a home loan to fix their second bathroom (toilet is disconnected because something is broken but it's been that way for a decade DH says). They want to move closer to both of their jobs but can't sell their house in the state it's in but can't fix it because they won't take out a loan? I'm very confused.

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  • @DuchessOfCambridge I agree so much.  Credit is extremely important in this day in age, and responsible credit card usage is one of the fastest and easiest ways to build good credit.  True there are some people who really do need to go back to basics and live without a credit card for a while to build more responsible spending habits, but even in those cases I think it’s important to work back up to having a credit card again to rebuild your credit.  And like you said the points you get back on many credit cards can save you a lot of money in the long run.  Not to mention the fact the walking around with large amounts of cash on me would make me so nervous.  If someone steals my wallet and all I have is credit cards in it, all I have to do is call up my credit card company and report my card stolen and any fraudulent purchases.  If cash is stolen, there is no recourse for getting that money back, and reporting your debit card stolen is a much messier process that can take months to resolve, potentially leaving your bank account drained and amassing overdraft fees and what not in the meantime.  Credit cards are an incredible tool providing you are responsible with paying them off and still stay on a budget.
  • @beccaneu maybe a UO, but when I see someone use a debit card to pay for something I seriously side-eye their level of maturity/financial responsibiltiy. Why don't you have a credit card? It just seems like the "adult" thing to do. This has happened maybe twice and maybe they just lost their credit card or got it shut off for some suspected (but not real) fraud. BUT - if your debit card gets compromised the way a credit card sometimes does, you're much more screwed. And I've had multiple issues with credit card fraudulent purchases - all quickly and easily resolved with no loss on my side.

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  • @kvh22 after going on a super long rant about how great credit cards are, I will confess that I use my debit card at places where I can get cash back because I often randomly need cash and never go to the bank.  I get nervous if I don’t have somewhere between 20-100 in my wallet, including some singles, for reasons I can’t explain.  I also have a bad habit of putting a credit card directly into my purse/jacket pocket and then switching purses/jackets and only having a debit card when I reach for my wallet.  So, there’s my confession for the day.  😳
  • @anonellis I mean, there's no more risk in that than getting cash out at an ATM (which is what I do usually). 

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  • I generally use my debit card for daily purchases and only use credit cards for certain things. I've had some fraudulent activity in the past on debit cards and never had a problem getting cards frozen, replaced and being reimbursed. IDK if that's just because of where I bank (small, local bank) or what. 
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  • I exclusively use my credit card but treat it like a debit card. The limit means nothing to me because it's more money than I can fathom spending. I basically NEVER have cash, which is annoying sometimes for things like tip, but overall doesn't affect me. @anonellis not sure if this is something you would like, but I have a card case on my phone that holds my license and credit card. Lord knows I always know where my phone is (eyeroll at me) so I don't forget either of those things.

  • I use my credit card exclusively for cash back, but right now we also have no debt other than the mortgage. I would like to not have debt for my next car, but I know that is not realistic and may not be smart depending on the rates. My husband on the other hand is not allowed to have a credit card. He is a notoriously bad spender, can't budget worth anything, and had some bad experiences with cards. He is on a couple of my credit cards so I was able to boost his credit, but he cannot be trusted with debt. I feel like Dave Ramsey's advice is good for those people like him that can't handle it. I think it is a good starting point, but then you need to move on to a higher level of personal finance.
  • This is all just reminding me of my SIL. Maybe this would be a good method for her although I think my brother has her on a better path now. I feel like I've mentioned before that she took out loans for college and DIDN'T THINK SHE HAD TO PAY THEM BACK!!!!! 12 years out from college and she still has $100k in student loan debt plus credit card debt. She is probably the person this method is for.

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  • @kvh22 whoa...  That's... Interesting. 

    I can't say we're financially responsible people. We have a lot of work to do. We actually filed bankruptcy when H got out of the army. But here we are almost 4 years later and we just bought a house, our credit is way better than it was and we keep working on it. We still have bad habits, but we are also a lot more responsible than we used to be. We have credit cards, I have one, H has 3 😳 I think one actually closed out so that's fine, but we pay them all monthly, and we don't really use them right now. We're making efforts to be more financially responsible and honestly it's a constant work in progress. 
  • kvh22 said:
    This is all just reminding me of my SIL. Maybe this would be a good method for her although I think my brother has her on a better path now. I feel like I've mentioned before that she took out loans for college and DIDN'T THINK SHE HAD TO PAY THEM BACK!!!!! 12 years out from college and she still has $100k in student loan debt plus credit card debt. She is probably the person this method is for.
    Wow, that's a special kind of failing to understand what you're signing. This is why reading comprehension is so important.
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  • @eatinwatermelonseeds bankruptcy is sooo common which is why I love and care about financial literacy.  I practice in bankruptcy court a lot (like for big corporate restructurings, not for individuals) and when I started it surprised me how many people file at some point!  And you really can’t stereotype the “typical” person going through it...it’s everyone.  This is the stuff they should be teaching alongside health class in high school, but they don’t.  

    I understood that I had to pay my loans back when I took them up (because duh), but do not think I fully grasped how interest worked when I went to college.  Like, I knew in theory that interest would accrue, but didn’t understand how that would add up.  It might not have mattered though —that amount of money was so abstract to me at the time.  
  • @anonellis it was majority H's debt we filed for (I had NO idea how bad it was until then) but we did make some of our own debt (against my better judgement). Obviously not all his fault, but he's made a ton of changes and I chalk a lot of it up to being young and needing to learn the hard way. 
  • I try to never use my debit card except at ATMs. I had a credit card number stolen once after using it at a TACO BELL. A legitimate business! It's insane. We aren't actually sure how much we'd be protected if a debit card was stolen, so we try not to use them as payment methods. The gas station pumps in my area are also notorious for being rigged with those little credit card info stealers. It happened to so many of my coworkers over the years. 
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  • Dh and I have good credit and pretty much exclusively use our credit card and just pay it off each month. But I don’t think our rewards are good enough, you’ve all inspired me to research and see if I can find us a better one!
  • @eatinwatermelonseeds H and I both have quite a few credit cards that we use for different things. I never closed out my longest running credit card, I just never use it.

    @kvh22 ...she thought she could just take out $200k...for free...?

  • One of my roommates in college stole my debit card and went on a shopping spree with it.  She completely emptied my account which incurred a bunch of fees and caused an important check I had just written to bounce.  Everything eventually got sorted out and I got most of my money back, but it took several months of back and forth with the bank and the police and caused a lot of problems.  Thankfully my mother was able to loan me money to cover my expenses while I waited for the bank to complete their investigation otherwise I don’t know what I would have done.  Ever since then I have used credit cards exclusively because I never want to go through something like that again.  
  • I’m not A disciple, but I’ve listened to Dave Ramsey casually since I was in high school. My parents thought I was crazy wanting to start a retirement account at 22 making $6k/yr. :lol:

    He doesn’t say you need to pay cash for a house, but that you should get a house you can “afford” meaning 20% down and payments no more than a quarter of your take home pay on a 15 year mortgage. 
    We don’t have consumer debt but I use my credit cards everyday. Sorry Dave! 

    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
  • This sparked a really good discussion! I've really enjoyed reading everyone's perspectives.

    We are not Dave Ramsey followers, but we do have hang ups about debt. MH's stems from his parents' overspending and going through bankruptcy in his late high school years. Mine just seems to be a natural inclination to stay debt free. But, I would really like to get us on a system of using a great rewards credit card and paying it off every month. I really feel like we are missing a great opportunity. We are financially responsible, but it's easy to be when you don't give yourself much access to high limit credit cards. We have two open credit cards, one with no balance, one with just a small balance. We have our home and one car payment. We have a great credit score. I just can't figure out why we are so scared. We are very conciencious of living within our means, but I think that maybe we deprive ourselves sometimes and feel guilty for charging something that we really want to do (like a special trip, or a home update). I think I will really work toward trying to get us on a buy and pay off rewards credit card system. Any recommendations on the best cards?


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  • @beccaneu That's terrible and would of been so frustrating!! I also only use my credit cards and hardly my debit card too! 

    @poshspice I don't use credit cards at the gas pumps either since they are so easy to hack. I'm the annoying one you have to wait for while I go pay inside haha.
  • @keighty80
    I actually love talking about personal finance, so I was kinda bummed the post originated from a drive-by! 

    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
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