Ask A STM w/o 12/24

suzycupcake · December 2018

FTMs asking any and all questions of STMs!

vvitchhazel · December 2018

I have a question for any mom's with 3 or more kids... Was it easier going from one kid to two or two kids to three? I feel like it was a big transition, going from one to two. I'm wondering if it will be just as big (aka hard) of a transition, or once you've got more than one, it's just another body? If that makes sense?

missbmama · December 2018

@vvitchhazel it was way easier going from 2 to 3 for us. The biggest hardship was the amount of extra effort it takes to get everyone ready to go anywhere. I’m not a planny plan person so trying to remember everybody and all their stuff and getting them to not look like hobo children was a huge learning curb for me. That’s with a second child who wasn’t thrilled about our third and wasn’t adjusting well to not being the baby. Still easier than going from 1 to 2.

hey_clever_girl · December 2018

Great question @vvitchhazel, and one I have as well as this will be our third!

wanderlustsoul · December 2018

Two questions!

1) any skincare products you avoid? I know retinoid but any other?

2) any idea what allergy pills I can take? I’ll ask my midwife next week but my allergies are horrible today. I googled but it’s so confusing.

wabash15 · December 2018

@vvitchhazel since we started off with 2 I don't have a great perspective, but adding a 3rd was not that dramatic. Mostly just factoring a little more time to get ready. especially since the older kids are a little older now they are not quite so demanding of your immediate attention, they can play by themselves a little, they can get dressed on their own (mostly)... so I suspect it will not be as hard a transition.

@akuzreve benydryl is ok, but can you call your doc's office or message them? they should be able to tell you what is ok.

Any mom's still nursing or have previously tandem fed? I tandemed with my twins but nursing kids of different ages is a new ball game for me. How did you balance making sure new baby gets all they need and having older sibling nurse too? Did you wait to tandem till you milk "came back in" to ensure the new baby gets the colostrum?

vvitchhazel · December 2018

@missbmama Thank you! That's kind of what I thought. Leaving the house is a shitshow no matter what, so I expected just more of a shitshow with another baby. I can't wait for Instacart to start delivering in my area. 😭

Beauxbaton · December 2018

@vvitchhazel I think in the newborn stages going from 2 to 3 was pretty easy. But once the baby hit like 9 months things got incredibly difficult. Way more difficult that having two at that age. My kids are all pretty close in age. My oldest two are only 15 months apart. And then the third baby is 2 years young than the middle baby. So there is a total of 3 years and 3 months between my first and third kid. So I don't know if their ages had anything to do with it. But I have often hesrd that three is the hardest number of kids to have.

@AKuzReve I know Zyrtec, Benadryl, Claritin, Allegra, and Chlor-Tabs were all on my safe list last pregnancy.

wanderlustsoul · December 2018

Thank you both! I don’t have a doctor here so just the midwife. All are closed today too.

@Beauxbaton, thank you! I read it but some were iffy about taking during 1st trimester so it was worrying me. I’m going to take an Allegra because I want to breathe again.

Avrilmai · December 2018

@AKuzReve I'm a FTM, but I take Zyrtec daily and both my OB and RE said it was fine for me to stay on it. Hope the Allegra helps!

BigBadWolf12 · December 2018

@wabash15 I'm still nursing my 15 month old 2+ times in a 24 hour period. I will continue nursing him as long as he wants in the foreseeable future since he has so many food allergies he can't have milk or most milk alternatives available to us, so continuing on BM is a great way to keep his fats and nutrients up, even though he is a great solids eater.

I'm interested to see what others who have done the tandem nursing thing say about the colostrum (I've had that on mind).

Also I've heard nipple stimulation can initiate pre-term labour - does that count if you're just continuing to nurse your child or is there not a risk of pre-term labour since your body is just so used to it already anyways?

wabash15 · December 2018

@BigBadWolf12 I know a few moms who have nursed all the way through pregnancy and preterm labor didn't seem to be an issue, I also knew a few who just got too sensitive and had to stop later in pregnancy (due to nipple discomfort)... I'm still nursing 4-6 times a day but am weaning off the pump.... we are just trying the transition to cows milk but so far its not going over too well... I hope my supply will stay up enough for her. She eats solids OK but not near what the twins did at that age.

Twinkiedoll · December 2018

@AKuzReve I had a cold that would not go away for 3 weeks. My doctor said it's okay to take Benadryl and Flonase nasal spray to help with my congestion. He said Claritin during the day is fine too if Benadryl made me drowsy. I only ended up needing the Benadryl.

parrothead78 · December 2018

I’m not a FTM, but I do have a BIG question for those who already have two.

DD will have just turned 3 by time this one will be born. How hard is it to survive? I can only imagine being dead tired and my newborn is asleep but my toddler is not, so I can’t nap. Any tips, tricks or should I just plan for the inevitable of just being tired?

DD is already a sketchy napper so I have no idea if she’ll be having a consistent nap at that time or not. TIA!

labby18 · December 2018

@BigBadWolf12 from what I've read about and talked to my providers about, already established milk supply and nursing relationship does not affect preterm labor the same as someone who isnt already nursing. Not sure about the science on that, and I also plan on continuing to have DD nurse as long as she wants to. I know some toddlers self wean during pregnancy also because of the changes in the breastmilk.

Beauxbaton · December 2018

@aeubanks9 my oldest was 3 when my third kid was born. 3 years a pretty nice age difference. They are more helpful than a 2 year old. I took a lot of couch naps when my babies were babies. By living room is really well baby proofed, so I felt comfortable taking little naps while my kids were still awake.

elizabeth_1985 · December 2018

@aeubanks9 My daughters are 3 yes apart. The older one stopped napping just when her sister was born. So, we have "quiet time" when her sister naps. I put on a movie for my older one while I try to catch a nap on the couch. Also- Movies are waaay better than TV. With the TV, I end up getting jumped on during the commercials.

wanderlustsoul · December 2018

Thank you all. I took an Allegra and I can finally breathe again.

missbmama · December 2018

@aeubanks9 I’m going to agree with the other two ladies who answered you. Baby proof an area so that you feel secure, pop on a movie that goes over well and take naps. It’s the only way I survived going from 1 to 2 and by our third ‘quiet time’ became old hat. My oldest hasn’t napped since he was 2.5 but he understands that for 2 hours in the afternoon he is expected to play quietly in his bed and watch a movie while his brothers (and mommy) take a nap. It helped me survive my third pregnancy and It’s helping me survive this pregnancy too!

kmb7964 · December 2018

@vvitchhazel this will be our 4th babe. 2 to 3 was by far the hardest transition. I’m not sure if it’s because our third has a lot of health issues or it was just difficult. I’m hoping that 3 to 4 will be a breeze haha.

suzycupcake · December 2018

Does buying a crib changing station all in one affect the quality of the crib? Is a changing station a good idea? Cribs pretty much all look the same to me.

BigBadWolf12 · December 2018

@Suzycupcake for DS we got a basic ikea crib and a nice dresser (hemnes 8 drawer dresser also from ikea) that doubles as a change table. No regrets here.

Eta: crib we have linked below. .. I like the solid ends rather than the rails all the way around. It keeps the pacifiers in a bit better lol
https://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/30248575/

Dresser set up similar to this:

WinchesterGirl · December 2018

@suzycupcake Most people now tend to go with a dresser with changing pad on top. The attached change means you have to change the baby facing you (not the best idea), and limits you on moving stuff around. It's really personal preference though. I prefer changing to the side.

Twinkiedoll · December 2018

@suzycupcake we had DD in our room for the first year. She slept in a PnP that had a built in changing table. We were finally ready to pack it up when we learned we were expecting again so we let the PnP and still use that changing table for most of her changes.

We also have a dresser with a changing table on top in DD’s nursery that we rarely use because it’s easier to change her in our room. We got it from Target. Delta brand, I think. We don’t have IKEA where i live but that’s a good option too.

elizabeth_1985 · December 2018

I'm a soon to be third time mom. However....I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions regarding mini-vans or SUVs with third row seating. Any vehicle suggestions? I prefer smaller, but also need room for kids and their junk.

sourlemon · December 2018

A minivan is fantastic. We got a chrystler Pacifica about a year ago and love it. I wish we could trade in my SUV for another minivan even. That's how awesome it is. And DH loves it .He's the main driver and doesn't care one bit that it's a minivan.

wabash15 · December 2018

@elizabeth_1985 we never thought we wanted a minivan but LOVE our honda oddessy. we needed the room and the sliding doors are actually really helpful with tight parking spaces. Our problem with 3 row SUV's is you gave up storage space or the third row was more flimsy or didn't have a latch arrangement that worked for us. (my DH is the primary driver of the van also and he is shocked with how much he loves it)

vvitchhazel · December 2018

@suzycupcake We just use changing pads on top of the dressers. My parents had a combination crib/changing table in their nursery, but it never got used. It ended up being storage.

@elizabeth_1985 We looove our minivan. It was between a Dodge Grand Caravan and a Honda Odyssey, but we opted for a Grand Caravan because it was a lot cheaper for similar features. My husband loves it, I love it, and I don't think I'll over drive anything but a minivan.

elizabeth_1985 · December 2018

@wabash15 Do you have problems opening your trunk? We have a Honda CR-V, but the trunk latch doesn't open when it's cold. We've had it serviced 3 times. Didn't know how widespread of a problem it was.

moon1417 · January 2019

One resource I find very useful was the Facebook group “safe sleep and baby care - evidence based.” Some posts are very triggering so beware but it was a great resource for safe sleep etc.

wabash15 · January 2019

@elizabeth_1985 no we live in the cold and unless there is a ton of ice built up on the bumper we have not had any issues.

elizabeth_1985 · January 2019

@wabash15 That's great news. We keep ours in a garage and still have problems. I was hoping the problem was just specific to ours and not widespread.

olivemomma · January 2019

Okay this is a super specific question so I’m not sure how much luck I’ll have here but let’s try. I would love to know if anyone has done NIPT under unusual circumstances?? I ask because at my 6 week scan they found two babies. However, at a follow up a couple of weeks later there was only 1 heartbeat. They call it vanishing twin syndrome and apparently it’s very common (around 30%) in early diagnosed multiple pregnancies. I turn 35 this week so will be AMA when the baby comes and would really like to do NIPT. However, I’m not sure if it’s a smart idea given my situation as I would hate to get a false positive and freak out over nothing. I have found contradictory info on it online and my OB is out of the country and won’t be back until next week so no answers there. Off chance anyone has been here before or know of someone who has?

lilmamabebe3 · January 2019

@olivemama last pregnancy, my anatomy scan did not come back well. I basically didn’t have a choice and did NIPT. Everything came back fine. They just tell you your odds and if anything is elevated, their recommended plan forward.

I do know someone who didn’t believe in ultrasounds and did NIPT and she was told she was having a girl and her baby was definitely a boy, so just be careful!

lilmamabebe3 · January 2019

And I’m +1 for the dresser / changer combo. I had a friend tell me it was a waste of money because “you’ll change the baby anywhere” but that has t been the case for me at all. We always use the changing table (which is a changing pad on the dresser).

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

@olivemomma I'm not sure I understand your question, but I will try to answer based on my experience. The NIPT was just a simple blood draw. It screens for things and lets you know if your baby is likely to have certain genetic disorders. But a positive screen does not mean your baby for sure will have down syndrome or other things they screen for. It is an indicator for actual genetic testing. My friend who was AMA (in her early 40s) had a positive screen for one of the more serious disorders. She did an amnio and the results came back negative. Her baby girl is perfectly healthy and about to turn 2.

mwmiller4 · January 2019

@olivemama I’m so, so sorry to hear that. I did one of the NIPT blood tests (not panorama—but similar) and it all came back as low risk. It really helped me since my biggest fear was a fatal trisomy. I also did the quad screen which came back with an elevated AFP level. I got an early additional anatomy scan at 16w to check for dorso ventral defects. It didn’t find any and I had a few follow up ultrasounds to check for growth because AFP is also implicated in growth restrictions. My daughter was born right at term (7lbs6oz) and is a sassy, perfectly healthy almost 3 year old. I was diagnosed with focal placenta accreta after delivery (they manually removed the placenta after birth) and according to some googling there’s a correlation between higher AFP and the placenta invading the uterine wall. Overall, if I make it that far, I’ll do the NIPT again. I like knowing where I stand and being able to plan/be proactive is better for me—otherwise I just obsess about all the things that can go wrong (without knowing if it’s even reasonable to worry about it).

olivemomma · January 2019

Thanks ladies. @Twinkiedoll I’m sorry I wasn’t super clear. My main concern is that vanishing twin syndrome is most commonly caused by a chromosomal abnormality. And since my understanding of NIPT is that it uses traces of the babies DNA to test for abnormalities (and the sex!), that it may be possible to pick up remnants of the babies DNA that did not survive which could impact the results And potentially give a false positive on the remaining baby. I know this is a really specific question for which many people have likely no experience, but I can not find much information out there on it and the nurse at my OBs office seemed as clueless as me (OB is out of the country right now). So just hoping someone maybe knows more than me on it!

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

@olivemomma Ah I see. And no need to apologize! This is a complicated issue. Even without the vanishing twin, you could get a false positive, and in fact, it's common to get a false positive. The NIPT doctor warned me about that during the consultation, and then it happened to my friend. So I think ultimately, it comes down to whether or not you'd want to know for sure one way or the other and do the genetic testing if the screening comes back positive. The vanishing twin issue may increase the chance of a false positive, but those chances are greater than zero anyway.

wabash15 · January 2019

@olivemomma my understanding is at most practices the blood work is done in conjunction with an US. if all looks good on the US and the blood work is questionable then I would think you could have a strong case to link that to the vanishing twin and non the remaining twin.... Does that make sense?

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