@tuxielove93 if not for Lillith Fair (which ruined it) I would 100000% name a kid after Lillith from Cheers. That woman is my hero! (I wouldn't really do it...but I'd think about it a lot more anyway.) Technically Lillian is our Disney name (I know it isn't how pregnancy works, but 40 weeks back from my due date we were in Disney World so both boy and girl names have a Disney tie) sooooo I can't oppose it all THAT much -- Lillian was Walt Disney's wife's name and is where the presidential train car on the Disneyland railroad (the Lilly Belle) got its name. Hoping it just grows on me.
@gta4334 yes DD2 name is Briseis. he suggested it before we were even married and I told him that it would never happen well he wore me down when I was pg. Now I love it and it fits her "uniqueness". Everyone mispronounces it though but o well I just correct them in the nicest way possible!
@antera23 its Bree-say-is. he got it off the troy movie she hector's and Paris' cousin the one that Achilles (Brad Pitt) falls in love with. I read it off the Iliad but it never caught my attention.
If I have a girl I’ve always wanted to call her Mieneke (min-eh-ka) because I really like the name and I’d never thought of boys names. My partner likes the idea of Stuart who is his late uncle that he was quite close to. So I think we’re set on first names.
Now the question is, what will the last name be? Mine or his? My partner wants it to have his last name so he can “feel closer to it” because he’s feeling “left out” throughout the pregnancy (he’s literally been to every appointment and scan unless he couldn’t make it due to work, and in those circumstances I’ve sent him as many pictures as I could take during the scan, and he insists I give him a symptom update at least 5 times a day) but then I kind of feel a bit left out not having its last name. We can’t hyphenate because it doesn’t work at all, no matter who’s name comes first. We’ve discussed last names when we eventually get married and I’m kind of set on keeping my last name and my partner is happy to change because he doesn’t feel like it belongs to him (he appears to have a bit of an identity issue).
Are there any unmarried mums or mums who kept their name last name when they got married who can give me an insight on how they went about choosing who’s last name your children get?
@wiseh I’m married and kept my last name. However I’m not sure mine is permanent as I may decide to swap to DH last name eventually. For us we decided the baby would take his last name. It sounds like your partner may switch to your last name? If that’s the case I’d say that’s your answer right there!
@cricket1688 his family are super against the idea of him changing his last name though and a lot of his friends have already had massive goes at him for even contemplating the idea. It’s pretty sad that we’re “expected” to take the man’s name even though it originates from a time when women were possessions and taking your husband’s last name indicated you were owned by him. We’ve contemplated just choosing a totally random last name that’s unrelated to anybody, but don’t even know where to start looking for last names! Haha
I had kept my last name officially but went by DHs last name for anything family related including FB. I eventually switched my last name to his a couple months ago (we had been married more than 2 years by then) since I don’t think I’ll go back to a professional career. His last name is common and my maiden was not - gave me some distinction and recognizability in my small specialized work circles. For me it was nice to have our family have the same last name (even if my drivers license said different). It’s hard to plan a last name if you and your partner are not sure what name he will take or vice versa if you ever do get married but I think you guys can make it special however you do it even choosing a new last name! My DH doesn’t even have his parents last name (long story) we have made it our own and there is something really cool about that, even if it doesn’t have the history my last name does.
Another option to consider if it appeals to you is giving your baby one of your last names as their middle name and the other as their last name. That used to be a pretty common tradition in the not so distant past, especially for the firstborn.
@Dcwtada I like the idea of keeping official last names and going by others, or vice versa. My partner has never used a resume and gets all his work through his name. We’ve really not put much thought into the ramifications. Our last names are Phelan and Wiseman so I’m not sure having one as a middle name would work? So many options!
Daniel is my mom's absolute favorite name and she used it for my brother's middle name (his first name is Joseph), but he goes by Danny. Since she passed last year I think it's a nice way to keep her memory alive with this baby who will never meet her.
Girl I still really like Maeve and my husband is coming around to the idea of it. My mom's middle name is Ellen so I think I would like Maeve Ellen.
@Erin1510, that’s a beautiful tribute to your mom, no matter which one you use. I love how family names keep memories alive. And Jameson is beautiful.
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@wiseh BF and I are trying to hash out the last name dilemma as well. Right now, the tentative plan is to use both names. For what it’s worth, I think Phelan-Wiseman or Wiseman-Phelan is just fine. And if you feel that’s too much, Phelan is a good middle name choice. It’s hard to decide though!
+1 for using Phelan as a middle name and Wiseman as the last! I think it solves the problem and allows you to avoid giving your child a super long hyphenated last name
I also like Phelan as a middle name! I'm married and I didn't change my last name nor do I have any intentions to - and I still publicly go by my maiden name as well. However, our little girl will have my husband's last name. It never really occurred to me for her to have my last name to be honest (and it's not that I don't like my last name - I like it a lot actually). Even though our last names are different I guess I've always thought of us as the 'insert husband's last name' family so to me it was natural for her to have his last name (plus I know it means a lot to him) and I'm completely ok with that! I think it just depends what is important to you. If having both names is truly important then I love the middle name, last name idea that way both families are acknowledged and he/she will have an awesome and unique middle name.
DH is on board for the girl name I really like finally! I think we’re going with Eloise for a girl. We just have to find a middle name to go with it that we like. We also have to find a boys name we agree on.
I declined to take my husbands last name as part of the conditions of our engagement.... his condition was we have a destination wedding and mine was i keeping my last name... when we made a facebook group to keep things organized for our wedding we combined our last names (schurek and torguson) into schurguson and called it the schurguson wedding. Lol totally ran it past my husband for our kids last name. He didnt bite
Edited to add we decided that he/she would take his last name. No way am i hyphenating that
A coworker that knows I'm expecting recently asked me what names we were considering. I said a few and she stopped me at one (which is Zadie for a girl) and said, "I don't like that. It sounds Jewish and no one is going to get it right." WTF. She asked ME and I definitely didn't ask for her opinion. I decided right then and there that that was the last time I discuss names with anyone I know other than my hubby until the baby is born.
I’ve really been thinking of the last name as middle name and I’m falling in love with the idea! My partner has had 3 last names in his life and all of them would work, Reilly and McWilliams (change to William) are the other two, so I’ve pitched that idea to him. Fingers crossed he gets on board! Fingers crossed we have a boy at some stage so we can use William haha. I think he’s keen. Thanks so much ladies!! ❤️❤️
@sarcat87 Zaide is actually Yiddish for Grandfather. Regardless your friend is rude and that is a really ugly comment. Your spelling appears to be the name of a successful British novelist. I wouldn’t let that person influence you
Had a VIVID dream last night that Baby was a girl, and in her teens, she was being harassed by a player on our rival team, so she beat the holy hell out of him. And in the dream, her name was Liberty. Woke up actually excited to be a mom, but now I wish I could have recorded that dream so I could show DH how BA she was and tell him IT'S ALL BECAUSE SHE HAS A GREAT NAME (and then he would totally get on board with it, right?). In other news, pregnancy is weird.
@ncm1919 I'm not. I was just kind of shocked by the whole interaction And it's been bugging me. The weird part is that she is Jewish and I am not so I'm not sure why she was making it seem like that's negative. Interesting that it's so close to a Yiddish word though! I didn't know that. I got it from a 1800's baby name list. It's a variant of Sadie. https://www.baby2see.com/names/1880s.html
@canuckbaby@luckystar28 my DH has only a middle initial and while he doesn’t mind it, he wishes he had the full middle name it was supposed to represent. He never had much trouble with the initial, except some forms he had to fill out for grad school that required a minimum of 2 letters for a middle name. I’m sure forms have gotten more accommodating in the last few years, but I’d still go with a middle name.
H and I can’t agree on what to do about our boy name. I want Broderick nn Brody because I feel like Broderick is just nicer and gives him more options if he wants to go by something else. DH doesn’t like Broderick, only wants Brody on the birth certificate. Am I overthinking this?
Digging this up even though we don’t know the sex yet...
We decided on Gabriel Paul or Sarah Christine
We have: Sophia Lynn David Arthur Joseph Dean
I am slightly concerned Sophia and Sarah are too close but I do like the closeness in the same sense. All the middle names are family names, the first names are just ones we like.
@carleym93 you’re not over thinking it! Naming a baby is such a big deal! I like the point you make about giving him other options later on in life. Did you and your H talk more about it?
I told my husband that he is in charge of naming this time since I already had to come up with two kids' names. He wants Lovelace to be the middle name. Now to think of something that would sound ok as a first name with that.
@carleym93 I actually have known several women that go in with 2-3 names but one they prefer and count on the H to say “you just did that... you can pick” and it has worked all the times I know about! Haha
@ShadeofGreen816, @canuckbaby thanks for replying! I love the suggestion Madeline, since that is my dd's name. Anyway, I found out after that post that baby is a boy, so problem solved!
Re: Favorite Names
Now the question is, what will the last name be? Mine or his? My partner wants it to have his last name so he can “feel closer to it” because he’s feeling “left out” throughout the pregnancy (he’s literally been to every appointment and scan unless he couldn’t make it due to work, and in those circumstances I’ve sent him as many pictures as I could take during the scan, and he insists I give him a symptom update at least 5 times a day) but then I kind of feel a bit left out not having its last name. We can’t hyphenate because it doesn’t work at all, no matter who’s name comes first. We’ve discussed last names when we eventually get married and I’m kind of set on keeping my last name and my partner is happy to change because he doesn’t feel like it belongs to him (he appears to have a bit of an identity issue).
Are there any unmarried mums or mums who kept their name last name when they got married who can give me an insight on how they went about choosing who’s last name your children get?
Another option to consider if it appeals to you is giving your baby one of your last names as their middle name and the other as their last name. That used to be a pretty common tradition in the not so distant past, especially for the firstborn.
ETA: tagging @wiseh
Daniel is my mom's absolute favorite name and she used it for my brother's middle name (his first name is Joseph), but he goes by Danny. Since she passed last year I think it's a nice way to keep her memory alive with this baby who will never meet her.
Girl I still really like Maeve and my husband is coming around to the idea of it. My mom's middle name is Ellen so I think I would like Maeve Ellen.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
Edited to add we decided that he/she would take his last name. No way am i hyphenating that
If just Kate, I feel like you'd need a multi-syllable middle name...
Elizabeth
Madeline
Olivia
Sophia
Patricia
??
edit: grammar
H and I can’t agree on what to do about our boy name. I want Broderick nn Brody because I feel like Broderick is just nicer and gives him more options if he wants to go by something else. DH doesn’t like Broderick, only wants Brody on the birth certificate. Am I overthinking this?
We decided on Gabriel Paul or Sarah Christine
We have:
Sophia Lynn
David Arthur
Joseph Dean
I am slightly concerned Sophia and Sarah are too close but I do like the closeness in the same sense. All the middle names are family names, the first names are just ones we like.
@messymyranda awe and I'm the opposite DH chose last time so this time I told him he has no say