PAIF Graduates New Mommies - December 2018

byrneme · December 2018

Holy cow it's December. It's the end of the year. WHERE DOES TIME GO??? We went and saw Santa yesterday - she isn't really a fan LOL. We started a tradition last year of going to see Santa and lunch with our friends (they have a son who is 18 months older than Zoey) and I'm loving it. I also decided last year that we will do family PJs on Christmas Eve so I've had those for a couple of months ready to go. What sort of traditions do you do/want to start with your littles? I found a bunch of fun ones on Pinterest but I think they'll have to wait until she's a little older.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/6z/acjxizd610z8.jpg

mtpbadger · December 2018

That Santa is legit looking! And Zoe looks so pretty in that dress! We saw Santa a few weeks ago and Abigail was her chill self lol. She’s had s tooth come in and came home with a rash on Friday so went to the dr today. She thinks it’s eczema so just keep lubing her up with aquaphore and hydrocortisone to see if that helps.

Christmas we’ll be flying back to MN for 1.5 weeks and I can’t wait. We already have a bunch of Christmas books to give Abigail this month and will bring some with us so my dad can read them to her and my parents can write little notes in them.

hottietoddy · December 2018

Both of those santas are legit! We aren't doing santa until William knows the difference, but I did get him a really awesome and expensive monogramed stocking from pottery Barn kids onsale last week! It has a train and his name and is 50% larger than ours. Also I put my husband's first Christmas ornament on the tree and William's next to it. My mom might be able to find mine as well. ♥️🌲🎅🤶

So this weekend I have been feeling good finally for the first time in like 3 years. My body feels relatively good and I am like really happy! It's an amazing feeling and my husband and I are getting along great.

So TMI below:

My husband and I tried to have sex for the first time in a year on sat. It went ok, but we never got to the sex part. My back hurt so badly from straining trying to have an orgasm that I started crying and we had to stop so I could take Ibuprofen.

So then it really hit me being in pain so much again at the slightest thing and I realized while crying that I DO NOT want to get pregnant ever again. It was too hard and I am DONE. I'm not going to be drastic about it and if I change my mind down the road, so be it. But for now, we have made the decision together that William is going to be a single. I feel a lightness of heart and mind knowing this and happy. I decided as he outgrows things I am going to give them away. This way I won't have a huge stack of baby stuff taking up precious room in our house. I also think if I have a stack of belongings it will be emotionally challenging to discard them and I'll think I should have a child just to reuse it all. I think it will be easier to donate things little at a time and be thankful we are so blessed to have them, but send them to help another child who could be using them. I'm going to enjoy this just like one of the many other perks of having one child! I don't want my house cluttered with crap we don't use, I prefer nice, and put together usable spaces. The fact of the matter is, Tony and I planned carefully to have William when we were a little more mature, comfortable and always wanted a baby boy. We just got exactly what we wanted and ' if it ain't broke, don't fix it' 🤗♥️😆. And secondly 'you gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.'

wildrainbow · December 2018

Those Santa pics are adorable!

I'm sad that Matthew wont be able to see Santa this year, but I just cant risk it. As it is our very limited public exposure alwats leaves him fussy, a little congested, and me a nervous wreck. I freak out every time we go out that he will get sick and get a one way ticket back to NICU. As it is, ds1 has an eval to continue his early intervention and it's held at a preschool. I don't have anyone that can watch Matthew, and I'm legit scared. I wish I had a bubble to put him in because a preschool seems like I'm exposing him to the black plague. I know that is a bit dramatic, but it's about how I see it.

byrneme · December 2018

@hottietoddy first, I'm not sure there is ever TMI in this group lol. Second, kudos to you for being able to come to that realization and be at peace with it. Super proud of you mama!

hottietoddy · December 2018

@byrneme thank you so much, that means so much to me. Thank goodness for this group, I am so thankful to have y'all

Hopeful_mom · December 2018

@hottietoddy glad ur happy and doing well!!! Sorry for the pain that sux!! I have to agree though as my back after pregnancy is the one thing that truly is still killing....O and my TMI my vag still isn’t 100%

have been to every dr along with every test for discomfort and burning yet everything is normal! Of course u want everything to be normal BUT you’d like a reason for the discomfort. I had a twat to look at my bladder which is similar to how a catheter is put in and I really think that probably what caused my issue and it’s just taking forever to heal....drs also say till I stop breastfeeding I want feel right...Add on the god news.
I digress back to the back, do u find that meds help? I am still trying to bf so I don’t really take meds but my back kills from just even doing vacuuming or just picking the baby up too much it’s insane!! I too wonder if I could have another how my back will survive. O and donating your things is amazing. I was very nervous for my miracle and bought nothing before she arrived (it’s also tradition in my religion as well) anyway my gf had so many things to give me as her daughter was turning 2 and she was closing up shop as well. She truly got me off to a great start. I can’t tell u how appreciative I am to her words can’t express it! Just know you’ll be doing that for others down the road!!

Anyone watch the the lights show on abc, one family had 18 kids in 16yrs....gd bless that family!!! Having one was a miracle it’s just amazing to me.

Very cute Santa pics!!! Lucky you guys still have time to re for the holidays!! Chanukah came out of no where this year! Night one Shayla fell asleep during the candle lighting and songs and then woke up crying! Glad we’ve got a few nights to try and get it right

@wildrainbow I hear u on wrapping these kids in bubble wrap!! We had our first cold at 3/4 months and it lasted forever! I’m thankful she didn’t have rsv but the dr was concerned enough we tested for it. The common cold is terrible for infants....my friend child is in the nicu from having rsv right now and it’s heartbreaking! Glad he’s home with u!!

Cant believe my baby is 6 months old, 1/2 a year old, it’s just amazing and it flew by. Probably cause I feel like it’s one long day. I think the pregnancy dragged compared to this.

Hope eberuone one is having a great holiday season!!

hottietoddy · December 2018

@hopefulmom yes Ibuprofen works well, they gave me that after the C-section. I think my pain had to do with using a foam roller on my back, plus crams from straining. I do stretches everyday also. Checkout cafemom on YouTube. She has good postpartum stretched and excersizes for your back that are good. I've found yoga and rolling my upper back on a foam roller helps also. My hips are still killing me! Amen on the 2nd kid....another perk of one, less back pain! Hah 😊♥️

cashewchicken · December 2018

Honestly, where does the time go?!
Can’t believe my son is 8 months old. He is now crawling around, sort of a hybrid of army crawl and crawling, though getting faster at it.

@byrneme and @mtpbadger Loving the Santa pics!!
@hottietoddy I’m sorry that your back is aching. Hope you feel better soon. I don’t have a back pain but I had a carpal tunnel and trigger fingers following the birth of my son and had difficulty using my hands. I feel like my health is declining after pregnancy. Ugh.
@wildrainbow I know what you mean about the preschool. My son is in daycare and I swear he gets sick as soon as he recovers from one. I thought I had a pretty good immune system but boy was I wrong! The cold that took my son 3 days to fight off took me 2 weeks!
@Hopeful_mom 18 kids in 16 years... yikes. I’m barely handling one, can’t imagine 17 more. Although families like that, the older siblings help out quite a lot, I assume. My best friend’s mom is the eldest of 11 and she was responsible for caring her siblings (her mom didn’t do much... she just popped the babies out) and it was so traumatizing for her that she capped at two babies and had a hysterectomy to make sure there wouldn’t be a third one.

My tradition... I’ve never been into holidays much, but I feel like I should try harder as they are a ton of fun for kids. New Year is a huge deal in my culture and it’s the biggest holiday, complete with special food for the Eve and the New Year’s Day. I went home last year to celebrate with my family, and this year I will go home again as this will be my son’s first New Years. I’m going to attempt to make some of the traditional dishes myself... will see how that goes.

mbradfo2 · December 2018

@cashewchicken
Ooo, crawling! We're starting to get there too!! She does a strange leapfrog/army crawl combo where she pulls her feet under her and then pushes off to go forward. Or she'll squiggle on her tummy and pull herself along. Not too fast yet, but getting there.

@hottietoddy
I really feel the same way you do even though it's hard to close a chapter. I just simply don't want to be pregnant again. I was miserable most of the time and my health did not fare very well during pregnancy. I'm happy with just our little Anne and that was always our plan from the beginning -- one kid (preferably girl) and then done. I'm still not fully crossed over yet to the "no more for me" side since I sometimes think about the possibility, but when I'm being rational, I know our decision is for the best.

As for us....WE ARE HOUSE HUNTING.

Omg, I hate this process so much but we really need more space now. Hoping to look at a few homes this weekend. We're not in a rush and my husband has his eye on a new construction home in a development about 2 miles away. Our home has served us well....but I think we need to move on

We have a tradition of reading the Polar Express every Christmas eve and I hope to continue it. I also like to watch the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe on Christmas eve. We're going to start a new tradition of one present to be opened on Christmas eve (to tide kiddos over). It's so much fun thinking about getting her into our family traditions.

wildrainbow · December 2018

Matthew had a follow up from the NICU cardiology appointment today. His PFO is still open, but there is no more stenosis (narrowing of his vessels). We just have to go back in 6 months to recheck. He is finally the size of a full term babe, 7lbs2oz a little over 21 inches. Looks like I have another tall and skinny baby on my hands. He's gained a pound in a month, which I am happy about!

JWatt5 · December 2018

@wildrainbow - That's Awesome!

JWatt5 · December 2018

Just a reminder - a lot of us have migrated over to a closed Facebook group - we've just found it easier to discuss active topics and have MOTN chats there. https://www.facebook.com/groups/563424387441169/ - That's the group link!

mtpbadger · December 2018

@wildrainbow way to go Matthew! Sounds like he's doing pretty good!

stella_700 · December 2018

@wildrainbow That cutie pie looks so alert! I'm so glad that he had such a good appointment. I know how relieved I was to get that first post-NICU appointment out of the way. I felt vindicated that I could do this, that I could keep these precious babies thriving. It was a good feeling. Well done Mom!

2MomsHoping · December 2018

@wildrainbow such a joy to see your little one healthy and thriving.

hottietoddy · December 2018

@wildrainbow so happy that your boy is doing well, it's been such a journey for you and you really stuck it out! Great job Mama!

wildrainbow · December 2018

Thanks ladies. I really appreciate the affirmation. Now I just have to survive the 2 month appt and shots on Monday. Oh, and being basically isolated until spring.

tosh24 · January 2019

Hi! Has the new mommy thread died since ppl moved to FB??? My BMB is great but I still have post-IF and post-loss feelings swirling around that I think other post-IF and loss ladies might understand better.

wildrainbow · January 2019

I'm still here @tosh24. I'm not FB.

mbradfo2 · January 2019

@tosh24
Yeah, our FB group is where most of the action is (I'm starting having trouble keeping up with everyone's questions, comments and cute pics

)

You too can join the madness, but I understand many folks don't like or use FB (DH is one of those).

https://www.facebook.com/groups/563424387441169/

cashewchicken · January 2019

@tosh24 Yeah, the thread is dead, unfortunately. But if you want to chat, I’m around.
@wildrainbow How is your son doing?

Mine is almost 10 months and #2 has been on my mind lately. Time flies!

Hopeful_mom · January 2019

@cashewchicken r u really ready for number 2? I think about it as well....but my girl is getting super fiesta not sure how I would manage...

@wildrainbow how r ur boys doing?

cashewchicken · January 2019

@Hopeful_mom Am I really ready? Hmm, that’s a good question, lol. Sometimes the idea of having #2 seems crazy as I’m so exhausted with just one. But I loved/love having a sibling would want my son to have one too. If I were younger, I’d space them out more, but time isn’t on my side. The plan now is to do FET#2 in the fall, 18 months after the last pregnancy, which was recommended by my RE. But who knows, maybe the transfer won’t be successful and we’ll end up spacing them out more anyway. We have 3 embryos frozen so hopefully one of them will be my #2.

In the meantime, I need to figure out a weaning strategy. He’s becoming more attached to my boobs so it won’t be easy. I still feed him every 3-4 hours at night 😩

wildrainbow · January 2019

@cashewchicken @Hopeful_mom hi, ladies, thanks for asking. He is doing pretty good. He got sick last week and I pretty much panicked because we have been super careful. He ended up with a respiratory virus. It exasperated his obstructive apnea, which caused him to have more episodes than normal. I didn't sleep well for the whole week. He's doing a lot better now, weighs 8lbs6.5oz. I'm pretty happy with his growth. He's three months(2 adjusted) and is becoming more and more social. Ds1 is an awesome big brother, he is constantly talking to him and doing silly things to make him smile. I have 2 redheads as M's hair has turned red like ds1's. Our friends have taken to calling us the Weasleys even tho our kids are the only red heads. At least Halloween costumes are set for the future, haha.

wildrainbow · January 2019

@tosh24 How are you?

persnickity · January 2019

I'm not on Facebook either. I still check in here, but hadn't seen any activity and just assumed everyone else had moved over.

@cashewchicken How old is he again? My daughter is 17 months and I'm still nursing right before bed. Nursing had increased at night around 13-14 months, until it felt like having a newborn again. We started with some gentle sleep training (verbal reassurance, but not touching her), changed from nursing to sleep to nursing before getting ready for bed, and stopped nursing in the middle of the night. It was hard for the first few days, but she quickly stopped asking at night. Let me know if you need any help with strategies.

Hopeful_mom · January 2019

Wow I give u ladies credit for sure! BF is tough my girl will be 8 months soon and I still feel like I’m feeding a new born. I don’t see how I’m going to be able to ween as she very attached especially to sleep. I supplement as well but she still need and wants her mama...which is good but hard. @persnickity @cashewchicken I’m laughing at ur post as we had a play date today and I couldn’t be more exhausted! It’s tougher I see the older they get maybe having them closer is smarter!
@wildrainbow that sounds awful I’m sorry! Hoping he’s feeling better. 3 months already wow that was fast! Glad he’s thriving and I’m sure will continue to do so!

mbradfo2 · January 2019

@cashewchicken
Good luck with your FET! I have mixed feelings about siblings so we're likely to be one and done. I also feel like I got super lucky with my first FET working from the only 2 embies (transferred both) we got from retrieval and my recent bloodwork shows my AMH dropped massively to 0.62 in the past two years so I feel like it would just be a big gamble. (My parents still think we're going to go back to the RE eventually XD I hate to burst their bubble.)

Luckily my nieces live just down the road and are close in age to my little girl so she has some "stand-in" sisters. My youngest niece is just a year older than her actually. We try to do play dates every so often!

They grow up too fast! I was just picking up a bunch of 12 month clothes (pants mainly since her 9 months are quickly becoming way too short and snug). I just realized when I was shopping that she'll be a toddler soon T . T

cashewchicken · January 2019

@wildrainbow Oh no! I’m glad he is better now. It’s always scary when babies get sick. Mine caught bugs one right after another last year after we put him in daycare in October. Luckily he hasn’t gotten sick after the new year but every time we get a note from daycare that strep throat or pink eye is going around, it makes me groan. I’m jealous of your redheads! We are Asian so the hair color variation is pretty much dark brown to black. No surprises when it comes to eye/hair color for us...

@persnickity My son is turning 10 months in 10 days. Our plan now is to wean some of the night feedings, basically stop nursing from midnight to 6 am. Right now I’m kicked out of the bedroom at midnight, sleep in a guest room since my son will demand to be nursed when he sees my face. DH sleeps with him and comforts him. He’ll whine (no tears) for about 30 min and then goes back to sleep. Not sure if this is the right way, but we’ll try this for a few days and see what happens. He’s eating more solids now so I feel more comfortable eliminating some of the feeding. Also our pediatricians told me that he doesn’t need to be nursed at night, he’s doing it more for comfort. Thanks for the offer, will definitely ask you for strategies as we continue to wean as I don’t really have anyone to ask IRL. People have been asking me about when we are having #2 and if we tell them that we are weaning, they will assume that we are trying. With infertility, I just don’t want people asking questions.

cashewchicken · January 2019

@Hopeful_mom Yeah, it’s great but hard when your baby is so attached to you. I think the first four months or so my son didn’t seem to care too much where his milk came from but he’s definitely attached to me now. He won’t drink from a bottle when I’m around and he will even refuse to drink at daycare late in the day. It’s a lot of work but kind of liking the idea of having kids closer in age. My sister and I are four years apart, we are much closer now but growing up not so much. It’s not that we didn’t like each other but we just didn’t have too much in common due to our age difference.

@mbradfo2 thanks! It’s nice to have cousins close in age! I have a cousin who is 5 months younger than me, we went to the same school even and we are close. We were each other’s backup friends when play plans with our friends fell through. lol My son also has cousins close in age so if our attempt to get #2 isn’t successful, at least he has relatives close in age. I totally agree about the babies growing up too fast! My boy is wearing 12- month old clothes and even those are getting snug. Unlike your baby, mine is short so he can still fit the 9-month size pants but not the top. He’s got a big belly and manboobs. Lol

persnickity · January 2019

@cashewchicken we kept our daughter in her crib and had DH go in at first. After a few days, I started going in to comfort and would just tell her we're not nursing if she asked. Our method was to verbally reassure while she stayed in crib for 30 minutes. After that, we picked her up and walked or rocked her to sleep. Since we cold turkey stopped nursing in the middle of the night, we wanted to offer something else for comfort.

Weaning is hard. We started with eliminating the nursing right before dinner. Then eliminated the breakfast nursing. Then the middle of the night ones. I'm down to the one before bed now.

cashewchicken · January 2019

@persnickity How did you decide which feedings to stop? We decided to eliminate the feedings between midnight and 6am because I don’t want to get up in the middle of the night. If he is sick and needs to be comforted or needs taken care of, then sure but not to nurse if he is only doing it out of habit and comfort. Last night I was so tired I just fell asleep in my bed and forgot to sneak out to the guest room. My son woke up at 2, of course demanding to be fed but I told him that I will feed him at 6, that he’s not hungry and he should go back to bed and surprisingly, he listened to me. He was fussy for about 5 minutes with me and then went to my husband for comfort and fell back asleep.

persnickity · January 2019

@cashewchicken we started with the one right before dinner, because we thought that would be the easiest. I would nurse her, then we'd promptly sit and eat dinner. It made sense to just try dinner instead. Since i still nursed before bed a few hours later, she didn't seem to miss it. At that point, she was waking up once maybe twice a night and I didn't mind it. I didn't wean morning until after a year, because she wasn't eating a ton. She ended up self weaning bottles at a year. At that point, I weaned the morning.

Basically, I replaced the nursing with food as she ate better. I still nursed on demand during the weekend day.

mbradfo2 · January 2019

@cashewchicken
While not nursing, we've been offering a night-time bottle if she wakes up in the middle of the night and the pediatrician really wants us to cut that bottle out (not because she's getting too much food, but because night awakenings should not be encouraged or rewarded at this point, I guess). Our major issue is that while she sleeps well, she doesn't nap much during the day unless she's super exhausted so she ends up getting tired for bed early and then waking around 1-3 am, hungry since the last food she had was at 7 pm when she went to sleep.

cashewchicken · January 2019

@persnickity It just occurred to me that we actually weaned the feeding before dinner first, too. My son is fed milk right before we pick him up from daycare so didn’t seem to make much sense to feed him right before dinner. He also wouldn’t eat much dinner when I nurse him before dinner. Initially I wanted to nurse him before dinner when we started experimenting with solids but lately that approach started to prevent him from eating enough solids. Like you, we now feed him after dinner and bath, followed by bedtime reading.

cashewchicken · January 2019

@mbradfo2 Pretty much the same thing we were told by our pediatrician. Cut out the middle of the night feedings because our son doesn’t need it. I suppose some babies sleep 10-12 hours/night and in that case 7pm feeding and nothing until 8am is okay? I don’t know. Currently my boy’s last feed is between 11pm and midnight, and then the next meal between 6 and 7. He is not super fat, he’s stayed right on his growth curve. Would cutting the late night feeding affect his weight? Hoping that’s not the case...

persnickity · January 2019

@cashewchicken @mbradfo2 i opted not to cut the night nursings, but the pediatrician never suggested it either. She just didn't do a very good job of eating enough solids for me to feel comfortable. And with her being in the lower range, I didn't want to risk her losing weight. I know for some babies, it's habit not hunger causing them to wake up.

At about 13-14 months, the night waking and nursing suddenly and drastically increased to 8-10 times in a 10 hour span. Because she was doing better with solids and we were sleep training, I decided to cut the night nursings cold turkey.

hottietoddy · January 2019

Hi guys, I feel bad Everyone switched to Facebook....glad you guys are still connecting here! I am dropping by every once in a while to see what is going on....

stella_700 · January 2019

@wildrainbow I'm so glad that he's doing well. That first cold is scary, and extra nerve racking for our early babies. Thinking of your little guy.

@persnickity @cashewchicken I'm in the waiting to decide on pregnancy #2. I hate to say it but finances play a role for us. The cost of child care for three under three might eat us alive. I'm hoping to wait until this next fall, perhaps stop the bc this summer see what happens (crazier things have happened as we were partial blockage/unexplained) and try for our next FET in the fall. Our babies would be almost 2 at that point. I'm on an academic calendar so a early summer baby would be ideal. Those of you looking at #2 and wanted to try and plan is for a certain time frame when would you make the RE appointments to start up? Two/three months prior?

I still lurk but haven't felt I could offer much advice right now, so haven't posted much. I will add that where the twins (14 months!) are in their growth has a huge say in whether they get up to feed in the middle of the night. In my case that means formula bottles/pouch self feed as I stopped pumping at 9 months. Victoria got up at 4 this morning ravenous and downed a six ounce bottle lickety split. I'm trying to wean from the bottle and the pacifier. They bottle weaning is going pretty well over all, the pacifier, fagettaboutit. We will get there, just not quite yet.

I am celebrating that they are both semi-regularly sleeping through the night at this point, about 4-5 nights a week. I can't believe how much that makes a difference in how I feel. Thinking about adding in a short morning workout now rather than dragging my sorry butt around in the morning.

wabash15 · January 2019

@stella_700 Hi lady!!! I'm so glad the twins are doing well and letting you get some sleep. It really is amazing what a difference it makes.

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