Announcing at Work?

mamanessen · November 2018

I am curious as to what everyone's work situation is like and when you are planning on announcing, specifically to their boss. I am 7w3d & already nervous about eventually having to reveal my pregnancy to my manager. Ideally I would like to wait until I am 6 months pregnant but I am unsure how realistic that is. Finally, I understand that my job will be protected by FMLA but I am still worried about what will happen to my position. Any insight would be appreciated!

Happyin14 · November 2018

Check your state laws and your employee handbook, if you have one. Every state has different laws about how to handle and what you are entitled to. FMLA just protects your job, not your pay, so if you need info about that, you might want to tell sooner. You can always seek out any recent moms or HR for advice as well.

I will share around 12 weeks. I have a job that requires planning during my leave and I need to give everyone (including myself) that time. It will probably also require hiring someone temporarily.

jessg2223 · November 2018

I’m planning on telling my director around 12-14 weeks. That will give him plenty of time to plan if he wants to use a PRN therapist while I’m out. I’ll tell him then I’m taking the full 12 weeks. If I start to feel pretty crappy at work I may have to tell earlier, but hoping since the holiday season is usually slower I’ll be able to get by.

jenniferjoy37 · November 2018

My job is around radiation, so I have to tell HR as soon as I know so I can get a fetal monitor... I think I told my coworkers around 8 weeks with DD only because we were having an after work happy hour and it would’ve been fishy had I not had a beer. This is what I did last time:

Your position is guaranteed to be there for 12 weeks (at least in my state it is) and we get full maternity pay for 6 of those. If you have more vacation/sick time to cover after those 12 weeks, use it! Soak up as much time with that baby as you can!

foodislove · November 2018

I plan on telling around 12-13 weeks here, just as we reach the end of our first tri. My department is just myself and my employee, and baby is due during our busiest time of that year (sorry, not sorry). So we'll need ample time to put expectations and a plan in place for our agency while I am gone.

@mamanessen I think 6mo may be a bit unrealistic in terms of hiding your pregnancy unless you telework. I was definitely rounding pregnant, as a FTM. Pic under the spoiler so you can see. Plus at that point you'll have had a lot more doctor's appointments than usual (unless you happen to get sick a lot) and I think that would also potentially raise suspicion.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/wi/h1p78mx1zng7.png

von1976 · November 2018

I'm a nurse, so they might know sooner than I plan to tell them. Our policy is not to assign pregnant nurses patients with certain infections, like shingles. We rarely get these patients though, so unless we do, I'll probably tell them at 8 weeks. Last time around I worked where we got those patients frequently, and my boss outed me at 5 weeks!

hellmanpartyof5 · November 2018

I normally wait until I’m about 12-14 weeks, but with this pregnancy I told my boss around 6 weeks. I work third shift and it’s only me so I needed to be sure to give my boss enough time to find someone to cover me while I’m gone. I’m not sure how much time I’ll take though this time around because I’m not sure of my works Fula policies. Going to be looking into it a lot in the upcoming weeks.

mamanessen · November 2018

@foodislove Oh wow!! Haha, yeah, I definitely wouldn’t be able to hide a belly. I am in a pretty competitive sales job and while I know my position will be protected for 12 weeks I am just uneasy all around. Sharing the news around 12 weeks sounds like a much smarter idea. ❤️

mamanessen · November 2018

@jessg2223 Good point - FMLA does protect my position but my company does not provide maternity leave. I thankfully have the savings to cover a full leave and plan on utilizing vacation time as well. Sharing the news around 12/14 weeks is probably the smartest idea to make sure that my employer has enough coverage as well. Thank you for sharing!

thebabynumberone · November 2018

Hi all, I'm in canada so things are a bit different here.

Basically I've pretty much secured a new position in my company but will not be able to start until Feb 1st as my current team need me. At that point I will be around 4 months pregnant, and I don't know if I should tell them sooner as courtesy as if I'm gone for 12 months maternity leave in July, I would leave them in a position to have to hire again to cover me.

I also don't want to sabotage myself going into the new position by telling them too early and they decide instead they will take on something else as it hasn't been officially confirmed to me in writing.

I am very conflicted and don't know what to do.

In Ontario we are entitled to 12 months or 18 months maternity leave, with the government paying 55% of my salary up , or 18 months at 33% monthly.

My company will also give me 3 months full pay.

What do I do

NicholeL16 · November 2018

Several people at my job already know. I had my pregnancy test in the top drawer of my desk and my employees left their cash for our thanksgiving meal in there 🤦🏼‍♀️. I was showing by 12 weeks last time so I don’t think it would have been a secret much longer anyway.

wineandcoffee · November 2018

I plan to tell my boss in a couple of weeks. We are a female dominated field and someone is pretty much always pregnant.

hoodevil0611 · November 2018

I told the partner who supervises me on most of my cases almost immediately because I was feeling awful and working closely with him in all-day hearing prep sessions and entertaining clients, and because he depends on me a lot, and I'd have told him early anyway. I've also told a few other coworkers I'm friends with because we drink a lot after work (lawyers). As for everyone else, will likely announce after the 1st of the year when I'll be about 14 weeks. We have weekly Friday happy hours in the office at which my repeated lack of presence and/or drinking would be highly conspicuous, so one of my coworkers who's in on the secret and I have been getting bottles of beer from the happy hour, pouring the contents into a cup for him to drink, and refilling them with La Croix water for me to drink with everyone

.

2amgoodbyes · November 2018

I told my boss at 6 weeks because i was feeling terrible and i wanted him to know what's up. We have a good relationship, so I wasn't uncomfortable about it.

The rest of my coworkers will wait until 14 weeks, I think. My first appointment is at 10wks, so I won't have my out-of-the-first-trimester appointment until 14wks.

I think I'll be showing really early - I already can't fit into my usual pants - so news it'll get out there early anyway.

mamanessen · November 2018

@thebabynumberone Wow... I had no idea that Canada offered such a phenomenal maternity leave. That’s really incredible!

I’m sorry I don’t have any sagely advice for you.. that is definitely a difficult situation. I assuming from your username that this is your first child and as it is mine too I am not certain what the best decision would be. Best of luck to you. ❤️

tova24 · November 2018

@thebabynumberone I wouldn't tell them until you have to/the ink has dried on your new contract. My last pregnancy, I was up for a promotion. I knew I was pregnant but didn't tell my former boss until I got the promotion and signed all the paperwork.

Ashers423 · November 2018

I’m a hairstylist
I always have to tell quite early (almost as soon as I know) the owner so we can properly book me as there are certain services I cannot perform while pregnant

Panaceia · November 2018

I'm also in Canada and will be opting to take the full 18 months. I'm a high school teacher so I will likely submit my letter once we get past the AS...so I guess in February at some point? It doesn't really matter if people know I'm pregnant before I put in for my mat leave as my job isn't impacted in any way by leave and they should be able to find an occasional teacher to replace me fairly easily while I'm gone:)

sandrabrooke · November 2018

I have 13 weeks fully paid. I’ll let my manager know my plan at 13 weeks, with a tentative date of leaving and return. I also showed them I was prepped with daycare and stuff.

they were thrilled for me last time, but I still took it seriously and professionally. It’ll probably go better than you think.

indulgentgypsy · November 2018

I'm a school teacher so leave won't be an issue. My OB said barring complications we will schedule my CS for 7/2. That gives me 6 weeks before school starts. I will officially announce after we come back from Christmas.

kaylers05 · November 2018

What kind of therapist are you? @jessg2223

kaylers05 · November 2018

I'm not sure. At some point. Maybe after Chrismas The two main people I work with are single without kids, but have always wanted some so I don't want to be inconsiderate. Also last time I was pregnant (different team) it got really bad as far as being mean and not helping me transfer patients and tryin to get my hours cut, so I'm kinda hesitant. I know that kind of crap won't happen this time, but it still makes me gun shy.

jessg2223 · November 2018

@kayleydowns I’m a PT, but in the outpatient setting so no transfers for me.

kaylers05 · November 2018

jessg2223 said:

@kayleydowns I’m a PT, but in the outpatient setting so no transfers for me.

Fun! I'm a COTA in a SNF. I was wondering if there would be okay be any other therapist friends here!

indibidule · November 2018

I work pharmacy and there are medications I cannot handle so I already told my boss and have started to bring coworkers into the loop as necessary.

BigBadWolf12 · November 2018

I'm in Scandinavia with great parental leave, so I'm actually just going back to work as a teacher in January after being off with my son born sept 2017. My husband will be off with our son until summer holidays, and pregnancy/children don't threaten your employment here, so I will probably tell once in second tri as long as I don't feel like crap and can't hide it.

foodislove · November 2018

So envious of those of you with even partial paid leave. I work at a university, which is a state gov job, and because I'm in an admin faculty position (not teaching, so very little money for what I do), I don't get any paid leave. The gov announced this year that all classified staff get 100% paid maternity/paternity leave. But not faculty. The university stated they are trying to come up with a 'comparable' benefit for those in faculty positions, but not heard anything in the last six months. Sigh. I'm hoping they announce something in the spring effective July 2019, beginning of our fiscal year, that'd be ideal

bmdcj4 · November 2018

I’m telling my immediate team of about 7 ppl tomorrow, at 5+2. We’re a close bunch. Way I think of it, being the 2nd time around, why suffer in silence with symptoms without any support? Or I will need their support as well if this doesn’t go all the way. Won’t tell the department till 13 weeks.

canuckmomma · November 2018

I am in Canada as well and am very thankful for our paid 12-18 month maternity leave, job security for when I return and my job tops up my pay for the first 4 months. I feel for you American moms, you really deserve better and I am hoping to see change in your legislation around maternity leave. I have told two of my closest coworkers whom I consider friends and regularly work out with on lunch hour. I will tell my boss right before my first appointment (Dec 21- ill be 10 weeks) and then after Christmas/New Years I'll fill in the rest of my office. Unless I start to show really early (this is my second so that's possible) my goal is 12 weeks. Kinda around the same time/just before we make it all around public knowledge.

erynpdx · November 2018

We’re a tiny company, and from a logistical standpoint, I couldn’t have planned much worse than July. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️
My close associate knows and is already stressing, I’ll loop my boss in when she’s back in town at the end of this week. I’ll be almost 8wks.
Not super excited for the conversation, but last time she was more supportive than I’d imagined she would be, so fingers crossed.

littlestbear03 · November 2018

I own my own service business alone so that mean no paid time off and the chance of losing customers during that time off. With my first I only took off 4 weeks, closer to 8 weeks with my second and with this being my last I hope to take atleast 8 off.

I will have to tell the owner of the business that I run mine out of as it does affect them also. We plan on telling family at Christmas and will most likely tell the owner around then too. She knows we’ve been trying but it’s still an awkward conversation and a busy time at work to be off.

cindler · November 2018

@hoodevil0611 I'm a lawyer too! I'm nervous about symptoms with the litigation's unforgiving schedule. I just don't know how marathon depositions are going to fly when I've got gas and have to pee every 10 minutes!

This is my first pregnancy and we haven't told a soul yet (I'm 7+2). We have a fun surprise planned for family at Christmas but we won't tell anyone else until after the first trimester. I'm thinking a Valentine's day announcement. Most people in my office have kids, but they're all old enough their kids are grown. I'm the only female lawyer so it could get interesting. My direct partners are understanding and supporting in everything else, so I'm hoping this is no different! The good news is that I know discrimination if I see it and will be able to do something about it.

@thebabynumberone I'm not licensed in Canada, so this isn't legal advice. My personal approach would be to get more security in your new job before saying anything. If they do go and hire someone else, you'll want something to back you up if action is necessary. I would look for a contract, offer letter with written acceptance, or actually starting the job. It may be worth researching whether your country's job protections apply to job offers as well as positions. Good luck!

rgn12 · November 2018

I’m 8w3d and told the office manager since it was starting to sound fishy when I couldn’t commit to certain things. I plan on telling my supervisor today, since it’s becoming more obvious now (today I am missing my second day of work so far). This MS is kicking my butt.

tsa208 · November 2018

I'm pretty nervous about telling my boss, although I know he'll be nothing but supportive. I'm the legal lead on launching our businesses in 17 new countries in September 2019, so I'll be going on maternity leave just in time not to be present for the launch!

I'm working to come up with a plan so I can go in prepared.

canuckmomma · November 2018

So um my main boss comes up to me IN FRONT OF my peer/co worker and asks me if I’m pregnant. It’s my second and I’ve got bloat like 12 weeks but I’m SO early (6+6). I was rather taken by surprise and turned red. I didn’t know how to react. We have a good relationship but she’s still my superior and I think crossed the line. I told her yes and that I had planned to keep it hush til my doc appointment end of December (at least 10-12 weeks). Now that I’ve thought about it all day I’m so annoyed. I believe it’s not legal (Canada) to ask your staff if they’re pregnant until they’re ready to tell. She’s not even my HR contact. I may give it the weekend and tell her Monday that I woulda appreciated she come to me in private. What would y’all do?

tsa208 · November 2018

Wow! Wow! That is highly inappropriate! Not sure on the legality of it. My boss totally knew I was pregnant before I told her (3 kids, she knew the signs) but respectfully waited for me to bring it up. And she asked you IN FRONT of someone??

I would definitely bring up that it made you uncomfortable. And maybe ask why she decided to ask?

xtinecatherine · November 2018

I’m a teacher so we have a lot of pregnant people on staff. In fact, two others have announced the last few weeks. I will share in January after we tell our kids. However, with this being #5, I always feel like I am showing a bit. But since I am old, people probably think I ate too much pie.

ketomommy · November 2018

In NJ we get 4 weeks before and 12-14 weeks after paid. I will probably tell my boss around the 1st of the year. I will take the full leave. I work in disability advocacy, I am fairly comfortable I won't face discrimination.

Panaceia · December 2018

@canuckmomma I'm in Canada too
I'm a teacher though, but no one is allowed to ask us any health or personal questions unless they call a meeting with union representation, in private, and have performance related complaints that make the question relevant. Even then we don't have to answer them. I'd be super annoyed if I were you. I work with my brother and even he wouldn't dare to ask me that! Especially not at work.

knottie6a7d7695b27d07db · December 2018

I'm a recreation therapist in outpatient

Tippy05 · December 2018

I'm going to wait until at least after my year end review to say anything. I hate my boss, but need to give the rest of my unit time to make arrangements to cover my work while I'm out.

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