PGAL checkin 11/28

annewheeler2 · November 2018

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL). If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation.

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you!

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition?

BigBadWolf12 · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 4+4

2. Previous loss(es)? My first pregnancy ended in a spontaneous loss at 6+2. This is my third pregnancy.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Good. Trying not to think too much about first tri and how long there is still to go. Trying to focus on the holidays, having family come visit etc.

4. Any appointment updates? I have a registration appointment set up for Dec 12 where it's just intro to the midwife and going over questionnaires etc. They don't do any scans here other than the AS at 18-20 weeks. They don't check heart beat until after the AS, so basically the one or two appointments I have before the AS will have no confirmation that baby is growing. My last pregnancy I was so anxious that they did give me an extra u/s at around 8 weeks, but I'm going to try to follow the "normal" schedule this time

ETA: I've also had to cut back on the pregnancy tests :P I was doing one literally every time I went pee for the first 4 days of knowing. Now I am only doing it once a week (or twice if I cave....). I ordered 100 online because of how long it took to conceive my son, but since we conceived quickly this time I have a lot burning a hole in my bathroom cabinet

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? nope

6. Any milestones coming up? loss milestone in a week and a half ish.

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? having Asian food on Christmas eve night. (usually wonton soup, spring rolls, occasionally sushi)

Panaceia · November 2018

Sorry. Need to vent and then I'll come back later for the actual check in.

I woke up this morning...I'm 9+0 today...and my boobs don't hurt at all. They have been untouchable this entire pregnancy and suddenly overnight they're fine. So obviously I'm totally freaking out. We are getting close to the time when we found out about our losses so that is also weighing heavily on me.

I have my 2nd ultrasound today at 11am so at least I'll know soon one way or the other but I'm on the verge of tears. I'm so so worried.

nopegoat · November 2018

Huge hugs @Panaceia! I know it's hard but try to remember but it's completely normal for symptoms to come and go. I'm praying your ultrasound shows everything is perfect! ❤️ ❤️

nopegoat · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8wk1d

2. Previous loss(es)? Early loss in October

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally better but still cautious. Physically I feel like poo. So nauseous and tired!

4. Any appointment updates? First appt was yesterday. Everything looked perfect. Next appt is Dec 12.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Now that it's starting to really sink in that this might actually be happening, I'm getting a bit nervous about who will be watching our boys when I deliver. With no family or close friends nearby it's always stressful.

6. Any milestones coming up? Nope.

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? Finding and cutting down our tree!

Panaceia · November 2018

Thanks @nopegoat . I thought seeing the heartbeat at 7+0 would help but nope:/ I know rationally symptoms come and go...especially around 9-12 weeks...but I'm having a hard time believing everything is ok.

So glad your appointment went well and that everything is looking good!

coco2787 · November 2018

I’m sorry you’re feeling so anxious @Panaceia. It’s so hard not to analyze every symptom or lack of symptom. I’m keeping everything crossed that baby looks perfect today

annewheeler2 · November 2018

@Panaceia hugs❤️ Praying everything looks good today.

1. How many weeks are you?
7

2. Previous loss(es)?
Cp in October

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
Physically drained, feeling better with anxiety after our ultrasound

4. Any appointment updates?
i go back on the 7th for my 8 week checkup

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
I wasn’t craving jalepenos yesterday and I’m paying for it today. I want everything spicy but it messes up my stomach so bad

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? This year we are starting a tradition back up that we did as kids. We’re going toy
parents on Christmas Eve to do gifts and church and that way no one has to leave their house on Christmas morning

indulgentgypsy · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8W3D

2. Previous loss(es)? 5

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically somewhat better this morning, emotionally I'm a fucking wreck. Pardon my language.

4. Any appointment updates? No appointments until Dec 27.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rant I guess - so I had a dream last night that I lost the baby again but didn't. It was weird and really messed me up. I dreamed they told me I had lost the baby even though I didn't have any MMC symptoms yet (no bleeding or anything) and gave me a pill to take and then told me that I was pregnant again with a new baby or I hadn't really lost the baby - weird dream confusion. But it has me all in my head this morning and now my boobs don't really hurt anymore and I'm hungry and not nauseous this morning. I'm even less dizzy today. I think I'm going to try and call my doctor and see if I can get in for just like a heartbeat check or something. I'm just a mess...

6. Any milestones coming up? already past my earliest loss. The next 3 week are all milestones as I had a loss start at 9, 10, and 11 weeks. My first loss was at 13 weeks.

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas morning, opening stockings, then eating breakfast, then opening presents one at a time, youngest to oldest. It just makes me happy to stretch out Christmas morning as long as possible.

nopegoat · November 2018

Huge hugs @indulgentgypsy. I had a couple of those dreams and they really eff with your head! I hope they can get you in a bit early for peace of mind. ❤️

Panaceia · November 2018

Thanks everyone:) Everything went perfectly. Bean is measuring exactly 9+0 with HR 178:)

Weeks: 9+0

Previous losses: 2 MMCs 13 and 10 weeks.

How are you feeling? Physically nauseous. Breasts stopped hurting which freaked me right out. Emotionally...I thought I was doing better but nope. I'm a big puddle of tears.

Appointment updates: I posted above. US went great but it started with the tech not being able to find anything and then preparing me for the worst. I have a retroverted uterus so baby popped up immediately when she went to internal. I think she was more surprised than I was. She apologized for adding to the stress and sent me home with 5 pictures.

Rants/Raves/Questions: I'm glad my RE is fitting me in for one more US before sending me off to the OB to help me manage my PGAL stress.

Milestones: Today was huge:) We are developmentally past our losses...but not in terms of time. 14 weeks will do it.

GTKY: We always have a huge family party on Christmas eve. I love it. That and watching DD open gifts on Christmas morning.

indulgentgypsy · November 2018

Hugs @Panaceia I'm glad you had a good appointment today.

Panaceia · November 2018

@indulgentgypsy My boobs stopped hurting over night. There was no pain at all when I woke up this morning. Totally messed with my head. But today's US showed everything is perfect. I think it's just the hormones settling down.

eleven_ · November 2018

*Lurking*
Yay @Panaceia

So happy to read your US went well today. When is your next appointment?

Panaceia · November 2018

Thanks @eleven_

I was so stressed this morning and crying in the shower:/ I have a prenatal appointment tomorrow afternoon and another ultrasound on the 10th. How about you? I need to know all the things!

coco2787 · November 2018

I'm so happy to hear you got good news today @Panaceia! We are in a similar boat with our milestones. With our last MMC baby measured 9w4d at my 13.5 week ultrasound so I feel like I still need to get to the 14 week mark to be able to feel like I can relax a little.

cindler · November 2018

**lurking**

@indulgentgypsy thank you for swearing! I have a potty mouth (never directed at someone, just sprinkled in for excitement) and the lack of curse words in this place is a little unnerving. I dont know you at all, but like you because you said fuck!

To all PGAL moms, my heart is with you as you fight to overcome your fears. I hope to see a whole slew of rainbow babies in July!

indulgentgypsy · November 2018

@cindler 😂 thank you! I have actually cleaned up my Language a lot for this board. I have to be careful at school so the rest of the time I could give a sailor a run for their money!

Panaceia · November 2018

@coco2787 We can sit around stressing about everything together for the next few weeks:) I love that everything is looking so good for both of us so far!

scp2585 · December 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 7w3d

2. Previous loss(es)? MC in August

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? The nausea has hit me hard this week, puking in the morning, dry heaving all day at work, it's pretty foul. This is my busiest week at work every year so I can't tell what the exhaustion is from, but that's still a thing too.

4. Any appointment updates? I had another dating/checking US at my GYN on 11/27 and got to see the heartbeat and take home a picture. She didn't even have to do the transvaginal wand so I was pretty excited. It was reassuring to see everything, but I'm anxious for my first actual OB appointment on 12/11. Because of my crazy work schedule and it being a new doctor, it was the earliest appointment I could get!

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Realizing that the nausea subsides best when I eat a well-rounded meal. Snacking/grazing isn't cutting it anymore. I can get a good few hours in if I actually EAT.

6. Any milestones coming up? We're past my previous loss but I'm still nervous and worried all the time. That probably won't go away any time soon.

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? Coming home after a loud, crazy day with our families, and having a quiet Christmas evening with my husband.

Tippy05 · December 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 9w2d

2. Previous loss(es)? Loss in late 2015

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically a little better, which makes me nervous. Emotionally, I'm still so so nervous. We had a mmc before, found out at 12 weeks we lost the baby somewhere around 8-9 weeks so these past couple of weeks have been rough.

4. Any appointment updates? Appt next week and I'm hoping I can get an ultrasound, just for peace of mind. I'm probably too fat to hear the heartbeat on a doppler.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope.

6. Any milestones coming up? We told my family at Thanksgiving, which makes this more real but also a little scarier. I don't want to have to "untell" them again.

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? We always go to la parents house up north for Christmas Eve. I have a big family and we all get together and I just love it.

Panaceia · December 2018

@Tippy05 I completely understand. We found out about both our losses at 10 weeks. My next ultrasound is at 10+4 so I'm already trying to emotionally prepare for that. And I hate when they try using the doppler early. With DD they couldn't find her heartbeat until around 14 or 16 weeks because I had an anterior placenta.

snootles · December 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6+2

2. Previous loss(es)? 4 ( 9 weeks before my successful pregnancy, 3x chemical pregnancies since)

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally ok, always scared of MMC, physically so so fatigued

4. Any appointment updates? Midwife appointment in 2.5 weeks

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up? Not really, just the long wait until US at 12 weeks

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? Reading Christmas books with my son

JNR6510 · December 2018

1. How many weeks are you?

4+4

2. Previous loss(es)?

9 previous losses ranging from 5 weeks to 15 weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

Physically super nauseous and tired, but otherwise good. Emotionally is definitely not a good place. I just don't have much hope that things will actually turn out ok. The slightest cramp triggers all sorts of anxiety. It's hard to be happy or positive about the BFP because it doesn't feel real yet. I really don't think I have the wherewithal to handle another loss.

4. Any appointment updates?

First appointment is on December 13th. It feels like an eternity away.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

The dr has me on progesterone suppositories 2x a day due to the recurrent MCs. They have been making me extra crampy, which of course triggers all the PGAL anxiety. I just want to know that this LO is alive and growing.

ETA: Thank you @coco2787 that fixed the problem!

6. Any milestones coming up?

Wednesday will mark passing the milestone of the earliest MC. Although I really don't think my nerves will calm down until I can hold my LO in my arms.

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition?

Each year we get a new Christmas ornament for the tree to commemorate the year. I love finding the perfect ornament each year. Plus reminiscing why each ornament was chosen makes for fun stories when family or friends are over for the holidays.

coco2787 · December 2018

Welcome @JNR6510 I'm so sorry to hear about all of your losses, I so hope this one sticks for you. Have you had betas done? I'm on progesterone too because of all my losses and the cramping definitely causes a lot of anxiety (plus seeing pink when you wipe because of them doesn't help much either). As far as your profile pic- maybe try deleting and reinstalling the app? I've never had issues changing my picture on the app, but I know if you do it on a computer you have to log out and log back in to get it to change.

strickland8052 · December 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6 w + 5 days

2. Previous loss(es)? Two 5 w CPs. One before my daughter. One before this pregnancy.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
I was freaking out emotionally because I didn't have any symptoms then BAM! Now my left boob is killing me, I am struggling to stay awake, nausea that comes and goes, and constantly craving spicy! Feeling better emotionally with all these new symptoms.

4. Any appointment updates? First one will be on 12/19. I'll be 9 weeks.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I'm already leaking colostrum. This happened right before my last CP, so of course I think it is a bad thing. But it probably actually a good thing, right? I did just finish breastfeeding my daughter about 6 months ago, so... maybe that makes a difference?

6. Any milestones coming up? Just anxiously awaiting my first ultrasound!

7. GTKY: what is your favorite holiday tradition? I just love cooking for people! Not sure how much of that I'll be doing this year though, being in my first tri during the holidays!

Panaceia · December 2018

So I bought new maternity shirts with my first loss 2 summers ago. I was wearing one of these shirts when I found out about my first loss. I happened to be wearing that same shirt when I found out about my second loss as well. Now I have this irrational belief that the shirts are bad luck and if I wear them I'll end up in the same position as the last 2 times. I love the shirts and they were not cheap...but I cannot even fathom wearing them for fear of something bad happening. So they're sitting in the back of my closet and I think that is where they will stay. Which sucks because they're the nicest mat shirts I own:/

indulgentgypsy · December 2018

@Panaceia I totally get that. I have a few friends I did not tell because they have always been among the first to know and... I actually almost did not join the Bump again this time because it vaguely feels jinxed.

With my first recent loss (one in between my boys that was never explained, not that the more recent ones have been really either) I was in the middle of loom knitting a pair of baby booties, I threw away the loom, destroyed the yarn, never looked at it again. I have also downgraded a name I loved because the name sort of felt cursed at that point.

Panaceia · December 2018

@indulgentgypsy I'm glad I'm not alone:/ I also have names I've nixed now because of it. And I've become oddly superstitious about things.

snootles · December 2018

Have been having tan mucus on and off last couple of days. Feeling very anxious.

Want a personalized experience?

PGAL checkin 11/28

Re: PGAL checkin 11/28

Choose Another Board

Search Boards