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July 2019 Moms
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Guilt about sex

brake09brake09 member
in July 2019 Moms
I’m rolling in to week 8 of pregnancy and I’ve been feeling prettg crappy most days. I don’t even have the energy to go to the gym let alone being intimate with my husband. I know he’s not making a big deal about it and doesn’t even pressure me, but I feel slightly bad about it. We worked so hard for this pregnancy (infertility sucks), so I’m slightly afraid to do anything that may jeopardize this pregnancy since we are already high risk. Anyone else feel this way? 
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Re: Guilt about sex

  • mamanbebemamanbebe member
    @brake09 I'm sorry you're feeling like that, but try not to be so hard on yourself. TTC is a lot of work for both partners, and you both may benefit from a break for a few weeks while you get your bearings back. Not to mention that the body is pretty uncomfortable in so many ways at this stage.

    Maybe you should bring it up to your husband and just let him know that you're thinking about it and want to see where his mind is at. Let him know how you're feeling and if reassurance from your OB or midwife would be helpful, maybe that can be something you all can bring up at your next appointment. 
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  • brake09brake09 member
    @mamanbebe you are so right. I always put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that I’m being a good mom and wife. I just need to talk to him about how I’m feeling, but am a little nervous for some reason lol. We go in for our 3rd ultrasound on Tuesday, so I’ll ask my OB her thoughts. Thanks for listening. :) 
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  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited November 2018
    Sex is completely safe as long as long as you've had no restrictions put on you per your OB. Definitely talk to your OB. 

    That being said, I completely understand. H and I both have a very high libido and 1st tri morning sickness and energy zap as well as just coming off a loss and being nervous myself, has made our sex life now practically nonexistent. If I'm having a decent night we have sex but otherwise H has a hand and knows how to use it.

    My sex drive usually returns mid 2nd tri. 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @brake09 With my first it was SO who was nervous about sex. You're H might be totally fine with taking a break from it for a while. For us getting to this point has been so difficult and has taken such a long time that he was freaking out about them doing a transvaginal US because he was worried it would hurt the pregnancy:) Needless to say he's more comfortable putting things on hold until we're more confident that things are ok. Which is fine by me. Talk to your H. I'm sure it will make you feel better about everything!
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  • mrscammackmrscammack member
    My first pregnancy we didn’t have sex at all once I passed the 5th month, I just didn’t feel comfortable with the big belly and had no sex drive. Currently I’m so drained I don’t have the energy and I want to wait until 12 weeks before having sex because I often bleed after intercourse and I know that any bleeding, even if I know it’s just from having sex, will make me a nervous wreck. It’s more psychological than anything but hubby understands. 

    We suffered from secondary infertility and ttc is so draining after such a long time so I’m kind of enjoying the no sex thing for a bit lol I totally understand feeling guilty but your body is going through a lot so be patient with yourself. 
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  • jenniferjoy37jenniferjoy37 member
    I don’t think DH and I have DTD since we got pregnant. Hahaha. First he was deathly sick, then DD, and now I’ve been fighting a cold x3 weeks now. Don’t feel guilty. You’ll get your energy back in the 2nd tri, and you won’t be too big yet either so you will still be able to enjoy it. I’m glad your DH understands. 
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  • brake09brake09 member
    @mrscammack that’s my fear too. Any bleeding would send me into a panic attack. This is our rainbow baby after dealing with secondary infertility, so I’m extra cautious this time. 
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  • thebabynumberonethebabynumberone member
    Just to jump in here,  the worry of seeing blood afterwards is not worth it for myself and DH. If anything, my husband is being stronger than me in this. You don't need to feel guilty because you are not being selfish. If you are worried then your husband should try to be understanding
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  • mrscammackmrscammack member
    @brake09 we also suffered secondary infertility before getting pregnant with this baby! We didn’t have any losses but it was 18 months of trying so I’m extra protective of this little bean since it took so long to get here. 
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  • brake09brake09 member
    @mrscammack so happy for you guys! Here’s to a healthy and hopefully easy 7 more months! 
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