When I think about how I spent all this time on the weekends when I was pregnant with DS, reading books like The Birth Partner, it seems like a freaking alternate reality, and in my memory, just so decadent!
I really liked the Happiest Baby on the Block. It is an easy read and after reading a library copy the first time around I bought it and referred to it with the second. I would definitely not purchase any books, but just make time to go to the library and browse. There are tons, and not all of them will feel like they fit the kind of parent you feel like you are/want to be.
Books, for us, were a waste of money. Everything I found helpful, I found through Google and Pinterest. Lol Wonder Weeks app also helped a lot. Really, my mom friends were the best thing that ever happened to me. They were my biggest resource.
My feet did not grow but they swelled at the end of my last pregnancy. I already had wide feet, but I also have a high instep and apparently that didn't flatten. Wouldn't have minded if they did- then I could fit clogs and stuff better.
Wonder weeks app was very helpful! Here's what I just told my sister (new ftm) about it:
"You've probably already heard, but babies go through phases of being fussy, for seemingly no reason (some more than others!) DD did not have colic, but she definitely had periods where she was fussy even though we tried everything and couldn't figure out why. I think the first period started was when she was about a month old, that's around when they are JUST getting out of the newborn phase of sleeping constantly. It's definitely frustrating, and was a little heartbreaking for me at first, that I was her own mother and I didn't know why she was upset or how to make her feel better. Poor DH lost a LOT of sleep the first half of that first year, since it was only him with DD 5 nights a week (while I was at work). He near lost his mind a couple times during those fussy periods. I felt really bad. But anyways, I just want you to know that's normal, and happens to everyone, and it sucks but it always passes at some point. I remember at one month old was a really bad period, and then around 3-4 months, and then again around 5-6 months old, with smaller episodes in between. There is an app called the Wonder Weeks that helped me, though I didn't find out about it until most of the way through the rough part lol. Basically, the theory is that babies go through a series of "leaps" when they suddenly breakthrough with new skills. But before each leap is a "stormy" period, when they are working on developing those skills, which can cause irritability/fussiness and regression. The Wonder Weeks app outlines when you are supposed to expect a "stormy" period, and which skills baby is developing at which times. Obviously, every baby is different and things are probably not always going to line up exactly, but I found as a general guideline it was fairly accurate. It could be a complete load of crap but if anything it was peace of mind to look at and say "oh, it's a stormy period, that's why she's fussy." Lol It was also fun to see which particular skills she was expected to be developing next, and which new ones I was just seeing in her at the time. It's not for everyone, but I've gotten almost entirely positive feedback about it (some absolutely LOVE it). And it was definitely more helpful to me than not. So, that's the Wonder Weeks app.
Also, babies can start teething as early as 3 months (maybe earlier??), even if their first tooth doesn't break through until months later. I swear DD was teething around 3-4 months, and I think her first tooth erupted at 6 months. Just throwing that out there."
DD also had some reflux. We thought it was gas at first, because that is a common culprit when they are fussy particularly after feeding like DD was, but none of the gas remedies helped at all, and when the pediatrician finally put her on zantac, it didn't magically make the fussiness disappear but it was a noticeable improvement. Then she grew out of it before her first birthday.
Does the Wonder Weeks app cost money? I just searched it in the app App Store and the only one I could find was $2.99. Wasn’t sure if there is a free version that I missed.
Does the Wonder Weeks app cost money? I just searched it in the app App Store and the only one I could find was $2.99. Wasn’t sure if there is a free version that I missed.
Yep. I remember it being $2.99. I don’t get a lot out of the app, but most everyone else I’ve talked to really likes it, so don’t go by my opinion.
@riatortillaxo I think there’s a free version too (unless I was so foggy during the first leap that I paid for it lol) - I’m not typically one to pay for apps but I got it. It’s more than worth $3 though
Piggy backing off of this: are there any other apps that you S+TMs love? What about one for breastfeeding, to track when you fed/pumped, which side, etc?
@hannahbananas11- We used an app called Baby Tracker just in the very beginning and it had all of that functionality. I don’t think we needed it but it felt like it at the time, maybe because it was grounding and reassuring and helpful for our exhausted sieve brains in those first weeks. We did not use it for long though, once it all became familiar, and once I was not so dazed!
I tracked with my first for awhile (feedings, sleep, diapers, etc). I never did with my second. I wouldn’t do it again unless I needed to for medical reasons.
I will say once the baby showed up, I didn’t have the energy to read the ten baby books people gave me. I used my bump girls, pediatrician or the internet. But to read chapters just to get one answer was not something I could muster the energy to do. Plus your baby might not fit the “average” baby
When I think about how I spent all this time on the weekends when I was pregnant with DS, reading books like The Birth Partner, it seems like a freaking alternate reality, and in my memory, just so decadent!
1) If you don’t live near family, what is your plan for your older child when you go into labor? Our options are having my mom come stay for that whole period, but I’m not loving the idea of her waiting/watching for me to go into labor... which will likely be late. OR having our nanny on “call” but may take her an hour to get here depending on timing/traffic and reaching her. My last labor was pretty fast from the time we were sure it was active labor.
2) and totally separate question... for those who suffered de cuervains/mommy’s wrist- was it worse the second time around? I had periods of this REALLY sucking during early months. I did a prenatal yoga class last weekend and it flared all week. I also realize typing on my phone (like I’m doing now) makes it worse but I just can’t give up my phone usage during maternity leave. Dreading the repeat wrist pain
We used an app called BabyConnect! Your husband can also get and use when your not around- although mine didn’t. It has the ability to track weight and height measurements, feedings, diapers, sleep. It can also track medicine times which I really love especially when DD has a fever and I can’t remember what time I have what last !
@ssag- on #1, this has been a big concern of mine but I think we have it sorted. I will have a hard induction date at 39 weeks, so my SO’s parents, who live a 5-6 hour drive are going to come and stay with DS then for sure. Backup plan: A very close friend who had no kids has offered/been commissioned to be the on call backup in case I go into labor sooner than that, and she comes over in the meantime, while we call the SO’s parents to head to us stat.
#2- I had that wrist thing pretty bad during Mat leave, I think from my nursing hold. I am not experiencing it now and did not prenatallythe first time either I think. I actually forgot about that. It was awful. Ugh.
We used an app called BabyConnect! Your husband can also get and use when your not around- although mine didn’t. It has the ability to track weight and height measurements, feedings, diapers, sleep. It can also track medicine times which I really love especially when DD has a fever and I can’t remember what time I have what last !
This app looks amazing!!! Thanks for recommending it. I think this would be perfect for us!
@ssag I have arranged for one of my parents to come when I’m 38 w 4d, hoping that I stay pregnant until then. That parent’s one job is to be in the house with the toddler for when I go into labor.
@ssag - my parents live two hours away. Last time, we dropped DD off at a friend’s house and my parents picked her up. This time we probably will just take them to the hospital and hope and pray my parents show up on time.
@ssag - DQ Wrist is BRUTAL. I had it postpartum w/ my first and required cortisone shots for relief. Knock on wood I didn’t have it with my second so I’m hoping to skip it with this guy too.
@ssag our parents all live 4 hours away. Our current plan is for friends to stay until our parents get here. I’m hoping like hell I go into labor early morning or start MOTN and we can just drop DS off at daycare and our parents can pick him up from there. That would be ideal.
Re: Ask a STM week of Nov. 12
I would definitely not purchase any books, but just make time to go to the library and browse. There are tons, and not all of them will feel like they fit the kind of parent you feel like you are/want to be.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Even now, my DH will say “is he/ she going through a leap?!” 😜
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
Wonder weeks app was very helpful! Here's what I just told my sister (new ftm) about it:
DD also had some reflux. We thought it was gas at first, because that is a common culprit when they are fussy particularly after feeding like DD was, but none of the gas remedies helped at all, and when the pediatrician finally put her on zantac, it didn't magically make the fussiness disappear but it was a noticeable improvement. Then she grew out of it before her first birthday.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
1) If you don’t live near family, what is your plan for your older child when you go into labor? Our options are having my mom come stay for that whole period, but I’m not loving the idea of her waiting/watching for me to go into labor... which will likely be late. OR having our nanny on “call” but may take her an hour to get here depending on timing/traffic and reaching her. My last labor was pretty fast from the time we were sure it was active labor.
2) and totally separate question... for those who suffered de cuervains/mommy’s wrist- was it worse the second time around? I had periods of this REALLY sucking during early months. I did a prenatal yoga class last weekend and it flared all week. I also realize typing on my phone (like I’m doing now) makes it worse but I just can’t give up my phone usage during maternity leave. Dreading the repeat wrist pain
#2- I had that wrist thing pretty bad during Mat leave, I think from my nursing hold. I am not experiencing it now and did not prenatallythe first time either I think. I actually forgot about that. It was awful. Ugh.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19