STM+ Check In Week Of 11/13

kvh22 · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages?

How are your other kids doing this week?

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids?

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? One son, 5.

How are your other kids doing this week? He's sick today but has otherwise been okay. His OT said she's seeing regression from him and honestly I think I am too. But only in some behaviors. We took him to see the Grinch last night and he loved it.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? He keeps asking when his baby will get here. Told me the other day it's a sister. No concerns or questions right now.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids?
I just love all things Christmas now that he's older. Our toilet is broken and he told my husband that he should write a letter so Santa will bring us a new one 😂 kind of making me want to wait til Christmas to fix it so he thinks Santa did it lol.

DuchessOfCambridge · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 1 yo (!!!!!!) DS

How are your other kids doing this week? Great. A bit crabby today because poor kid got four shots and a blood draw.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids? We started a new tradition at home this year for one of our major holidays and I love it so far and think it will be so fun as our family grows and kids get older

Sarahbtek · November 2018

How many kids you already have, 2 boys -- 8 and 4.

How are the other kids this week? Alright, beginning of the week is always hard getting back into homework 😫 and getting out of the house in the morning, but we are managing.

Rants/raves/concerns/questions

Ranting about my nanny kid. I love her, but shes such a diva! Shes an only child and her parents (rightfully) dote on her. But, that can't fly in my house. I cant drop everything for her dolls shoe falling off...and that leads to a MAJOR meltdown. Just need to teach her that sometimes she is second (or further) in line.

Raving that I finally got to see and hear baby 3 this week 😍

Gtky: we love to give the boys a present from the elves on Christmas eve morning. As long as they have been good, the elves bring them special Christmas pjs to wear to bed for Christmas morning. Also, since we moved away from family, my husbands boss has taken us into his family for xmas eve. They do the whole 7 fish dinner and we now go every year, even when their extended family isn't invited 😂

babygator15 · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 7 year old son

How are your other kids doing this week? We told him about the baby on Sunday and he’s so excited to be a big brother. He is constantly talking to my belly.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? This is our miracle baby as I went through chemo for breast cancer 5 years ago. I’m trying to relax and not worry that something is wrong with the baby or that my cancer will come back but I get so triggered by any doctor appt or ultrasounds now.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids? We do a cookie decorating party for his friends. Last year we got fake snow (live in Florida!) and the kids went nuts!!! So much joy!

expandcontract · November 2018

I always forget to participate in the check-ins.

@babygator15 you can always vent to us about any feelings!

How many kids do you already have? 1 daughter 19 months

How are your other kids doing this week?
She's just the sweetest little thing. This week, she learned that if she stands on her tippy toes, she can reach the light switches. Anytime I go in the kitchen, she runs over and shuts the light off to get a reaction out of me. And when she does, she has the most adorable laugh!

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?
I think and hope she's going to be the greatest big sister.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids?
She's still really young so i haven't developed a favorite tradition, yet.

Jess4us · November 2018

I have one, a 5 year old boy

How is he doing? He saw the baby on the ultrasound today and his face lit up, that made my day (helped with the hints of jealousy I would sense when I talked about the baby)

Rants, raves, concerns: hubby was way more helpful during my 1st pregnancy I feel.... now I think he sees me do more so figures I need a bit less help. *whiiiiiiiine*

Our traditon over christmas is having my mom brother and sister over, eating and opening gifts for my little guy (my siblings dont have kids) so Christmas activities sorta revolve around my son. Last year he started making gifts for them so I look forward to helping him do that again! Oh and christmas dinner will be way more delish now that I have a pressure cooker!

Sketner610 · November 2018

I have two kids, DS 3 and DD 10 months

Both kids are doing great this week. Son is always so happy and silly. Daughter is close to walking and exploring everything.

I guess my my biggest concern is that I’m not feeling super connected to this baby. Probably because it still doesn’t feel like it’s real. This baby was unexpected and I’m not showing as much at this time as I did the first two times. Plus I’m so busy with my two kids I sometimes forget I’m pregnant. Anyone else feel this way? Like it hasn’t kicked in yet and doesn’t seem real??

We have ave so many traditions for the holidays but I think my favorite would be the kids open two presents on Christmas Eve. One is a Christmas book that we read as a family that night, and the other is matching family pajamas

kvh22 · November 2018

@Sketner610 yes, I was so over the moon with DD's pregnancy and I'm excited but I keep having to remind myself to say the things I used to. I would tell DH that "we" love him and stuff like that and I'm just so caught up in the fact that we're already a family of 3 that it's totally different this time. I'm also thinking when I start showing it will seem more "real" but we'll see.

robyn2201 · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? Two girls, 8 and almost 6

How are your other kids doing this week? Well I’m a little pissed. DD1(who is 8) just told me this evening about how her school friend was talking today at recess about a show she watched on her iPad. My daughter then proceeds to describe a man giving a women oral. Why does an EIGHT year old have unlimited access to an IPad and why is her friend watching a show that’s basically porn?!?! My daughter was like why would a man do that to lady? We have talked a little bit about puberty and getting her period, but not an in-depth talk about it, let alone talking about sex. I’m not happy at all. My kids do not have their own IPads and the one IPad we have as a family is password protected and the only things that they can do on it are play some educational apps and watch PBS kids. Most of you guys don’t have kids this age so you are far from dealing with this but when your kids do get older, please, please be responsible parents and make sure your kids don’t have a free reign of their IPads and phones. Kids should be kids, and not discussing oral on the playground!!

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? See my rant above

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids? We always watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I also try and make one batch of shortbread cookies with them and do the whole cutting them out in different shapes and decorating them. We just do simple things like that each year.

expandcontract · November 2018

@robyn2201 OMG! How horrifying! I am not at all looking forward to this stage!

mcewen3 · November 2018

@robyn2201 OMG! My kids are a little younger so we aren't quite at that stage, but I do have an 11yo niece and 9 yo nephew. They do have their own iPads (thanks grandma) but my SIL monitors them pretty closely and has restricted the content they can access. Honestly, its not hard to a) change the settings on an iPad to limit content, even if you still allow access to Safari, etc. and b) its even easier to password protect those settings. Add in the fact that Apple now offers screen time monitoring and the parent can set time limits and restrictions for the children directly from their phone, no excuse for unlimited, unmonitored internet access. My nephew was SO PISSED the first time the screen time limit popped up on his iPad (accidentally my fault, I was there and told SIL about DH and I's challenge with each other to have the least screen time each day. She did the update and figured out she could restrict the kids too) but its good for them. And it makes it way easier for parents to be aware of it. No one wants to set a screen time timer for a pre-teen and then have to get on them about it once the time is up. This way, they're just cut off, lol.

mcewen3 · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 2 girls, 5 & 3

How are your other kids doing this week? Pretty good. Things have been fairly uneventful, just our normal routine but now that we finally have an answer about DH's job the girls are super excited to start painting and decorating their rooms here. We're picking colours this week and painting next weekend.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? I have to find a bunch of documents to finalize our mortgage on this house, but it has been almost a year since we packed up our old place and I really truly have no clue where that filing cabinet might have been put. Our plans changed during the last week of packing and instead putting everything into a truck and moving it here we filled 2 storage units and then squeezed all the extra stuff into my parents' two houses that were nearby. I'm hoping I put the filing cabinet at my mom's, but she's in AZ right now so I'm driving 6.5 hrs (each way) this weekend to go up there and find it. Fingers crossed. Luckily we are buying the house from DH's parents and they totally understand the situation we've been in the past many months, so I know they'll be understanding if it takes me a bit longer to get everything together.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids? I have always loved Christmas Eve, and now with my own kids its even better. On the years where we don't have family Christmas with DH's extended family (every second year, and will continue until his grandma passes) we go to the early mass, then we do fondue or raclette and afterwards cozy up in the living room with the fire blazing, cups of hot cocoa and snacks. Everyone opens one gift that night, always a pair of pyjamas and a book. When the kids get a little older we will make an evening out of the fondue or raclette and then play board games and blast Christmas music until Midnight Mass. Then we'll have snacks and cocoa when we get home from Mass while we open our pjs and books. We did this as kids, and it was my favourite thing, but currently my kids have no clue how to sleep in and there is NO WAY they could handle midnight mass let alone staying up for another hour or so afterwards without major meltdowns.

mrsdee15 · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? DD is 13 months.

How are your other kids doing this week? She's good! She's really sweet, and has been walking holding one hand now instead of two, so that's progress.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? Not at the moment.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids? We haven't established any yet, she was so young last year and this year I don't know if she will quite get what's going on, but eventually I want to do this:

My parents and I always opened presents on Christmas Eve, but DH's family is big on Christmas Day, so we're trying to balance the two this year.

mcewen3 · November 2018

@mrsdee15 my mom's family always did all of their presents when they got home from midnight mass, and then my dad's family did Christmas morning. My parents moved across the country well before my brother and I were born so we never really spent our Christmases with the extended family to experience this, but my dad said that when he and my mom were dating and first married Christmas was beyond exhausting because they would attend mass, spend hours eating and opening presents at my Oma and Opa's, and then wouldn't even bother going to sleep because there was no way they'd be able to wake up in time for the early Christmas morning at my grandparents a few hours later. Also, my mom says that Santa always came while they were at Mass, and to this day she still can't figure out how her parents pulled it off.

mrsdee15 · November 2018

@mcewen3 Wow, that sounds so exhausting! When I was really young we would go to both grandparents' in one day and that alone was tiring. We've kind of settled on the idea of doing Christmas Eve with my parents over and opening my parents' gifts, and then doing Christmas morning with my ILs with a fun breakfast. Whether that will work out, TBD.

megsb615 · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages?

DS is 2.

How are your other kids doing this week?

He’s doing good, but he has been so whiny lately. I was starting to wonder if he still had his ear infection, but he had a doctor appt yesterday to make sure it had cleared up, and it has, so he’s just being whiny. I hope this is a short phase because it’s quite annoying.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?

So SOS.. someone please please help. I’m desperate, and if anyone would know, if would be one of y’all.

DS has gotten use to sleeping with us from
when he had his ear infection about a month ago, and now we can’t get him out of our bed. We hold him to fall asleep and as soon as we get up to put him in his crib, he immediately wakes up and starts crying and saying no. I feel bad because I know he just wants to be with us, but he’s a terrible cosleeper, and our bed is only a queen. We haven’t done CIO with him, so I don’t feel like that’d be fair to do to him now even though that’s what Husband thinks we’re going to have to do if we want him out of our bed. Any advice? 😬🙏🏻

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids?

We haven’t really developed any traditions yet, but I would like to this year now that he’s 2 and would be more excited. I want to bake cookies for Santa, throw our “reindeer food”, and maybe have a present with pjs and a Christmas book (movie once he’ll sit still long enough to watch one) to open on Christmas Eve. 🎄

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

@megsb615 I wish I had an answer, my 5 year old still sleeps with us 😂 but I would start bedtime in his room. I wouldn't do cry it out, I would just change his night routine to be in his room. Whenever we've actually gotten him to sleep in his room, it's been that way. And dinosaur sheets, but that one didn't last long.

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

Oh but I do have to say and this might make me sound crazy, I think there's a ghost in his room and I'm not entirely thrilled about making him sleep in there knowing that's a possibility lmao

Stormiewinter · November 2018

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 2 boys 6 and 2

How are your other kids doing this week? Good, we had ds1’s parent teacher conference. I was nervous because I planned to talk to the teacher about him needing enrichment (I didn’t want to come off as the parent of a “snowflake”), but fortunately she opened up with him being well above grade level and her wanting to push him because she doesn’t believe he is showing her all he can do. I am so relieved. He is considered small stature (less than 1st percentile, 40 inches and 37 lbs at 6) and people tend to underestimate him, which he is happy to coast along with. So glad his teacher is open to challenging him. Ds2 is happily enjoying all the new toys ds1 got for his birthday. He is at a hard age where he just wants to play with the big kid stuff but usually just ends up destroying things (like LEGO’s).

Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? Rant this week: one of the parents at the party brought their kid even though they clearly had croup. Only had to hear her cough once to know that’s what it was. Ds2 has asthma and I am now bracing myself since last year croup required oral steroids on top of his nebulizer. Seriously I love parties too but when my kids are sick I kept them home!

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition now that you have kids? We live in a rural area and every year we go to the local tree farm, take a tractor ride out to the trees and cut down our own. Then we come home eat cookies and decorate. It is just such a magical day.

mcewen3 · November 2018

@megsb615 when we were transitioning from rocking to sleep to falling asleep in bed, I sometimes had to sit next to the crib and rub their hand through the rail or their back or tummy (which sucks because you have to stand over the crib). Sometimes they would cry, but I would just gently talk to them, tell them it was ok, that I was there and I would stay while they fell asleep. If they woke up through the night, I repeated the same process. Each night gets easier. Eventually I got to a point where I was able to leave the room with them still awake, but after we moved that ended and I'm back to rubbing a hand or back until they fall asleep. But at least they are in their own bed.

megsb615 · November 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds We probably should start trying to do a bedtime routine in his room. He just hates being put in his crib for some reason. I mean... I’m starting to wonder if his room is haunted with being so adamant about not going in there at night. I’ve almost thought about changing to a big boy bed because I could at least lay down with him and sneak away, but him being able to get out of bed and roam around makes me super nervous. 😬

@mcewen3 We’ve actually tried that when he’s woken up in the middle of the night, but he immediately stands up and starts crying and grabbing onto us and won’t lie down. I could imagine trying to put him to bed would go about the same way. I think he really just doesn’t like feeling separated from us. When I went to try to put him down last night, he started crying saying “noo.. I hold ya”. Ugh I just can’t do it, and he ends up in the bed with us again. 🤦🏼‍♀️

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

@megsb615 the other night I decided to sleep in DS's room because I was SO uncomfortable in our bed. The dog, who isn't much of a barker, came with me. Just as I was falling asleep, I woke up to the dog doing this weird low bark at the corner of the room... Where there was nothing. DS has ALWAYS seemed sensitive to things, he's randomly walked by closets (before he was talking much) and just said "hi ghost!" So I have no doubt in my mind there has to be something in there, he used to complain he was hearing thumping noises as he was going to sleep.. I'm really really hoping there's nothing in this next house, but I'm definitely nervous.

Getting a twin bed helped for a short time but it was tedious as he would never fall asleep alone. Would take us anywhere from 10m to an hour to get him to fall asleep. It was just a pain in the ass.

DuchessOfCambridge · November 2018

@megsb615 could you possibly set up a pack n play in your room so it's an easier transition? He won't be in your bed but he'll still be close, and maybe you'll all sleep better. And perhaps set an expectation every day being like okay so today we are going to be in the pack n play next to mom and dad's bed! And today we are going to be in the pnp in mom and dad's room but not next to the bed. Tonight we're going to try you in your room!

I'm not super helpful because I don't know what to do but this is one of the biggest reasons I'm scared to ever let DS in our bed. Right now it's a nonissue because he's too young to be scared or anything and he's so used to it but I'm dreading him learning fear of the dark or whatever. Currently he thinks of our bed as a play area and NEEDS his own space to sleep but who knows what will happen as he gets older

mcewen3 · November 2018

@megsb615 do you think he would be ready for a big boy bed if he’s already sleeping in your bed most of the time anyways? You could try laying his crib mattress on the floor and lying with him to fall asleep, if that would maybe work better? Totally just throwing ideas out, but you never know what might work.

megsb615 · November 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds Oh gosh, that creeps me out! I don’t blame him for not wanting to sleep in there either. Fingers crossed for no ghosts in the new house!

@DuchessOfCambridge Such a good idea, but he won’t sleep in a pack and play anymore unfortunately. 😩 We’ve always said the same (especially my husband bc he swears he’ll be in our bed now til he’s 10), but when he/she wakes up in the middle of the night and is sick and crying, and you’re tired, it’s just easier to put him in bed with you and go back to sleep. We have a comfy recliner in his room, but it’s just not as comfortable. I’m too much of a softie, especially if he’s sick. Don’t cave, and you might can avoid the sleep conundrum! 😂

kvh22 · November 2018

@megsb615 DD is almost 15 months and when she wakes up in the MOTN, DH goes in to calm her down and has ended up sleeping in the guest bed (in her room) with her. I'm hoping she'll just start STTN and it will be a non-issue. It started with us because of a separation anxiety issue that goes along with the leap she is finishing up...although I just looked it up and she should be done that leap sometime between last Sunday and this Sunday so we may have just created a bad habit. No real advice, but in a similar boat.

DuchessOfCambridge · November 2018

@megsb615 I hope we can avoid it. I bet we'll cave but I hope we don't

megsb615 · November 2018

@DuchessOfCambridge It’s so hard because you know, “they’re only little once”, and “it won’t be like this for long”. So cliche, but it really is so true too.

@mcewen3 I’ve thought about trying a big boy bed, but I’m terrified of him getting out of bed and roaming around the house. Like, how do you keep them to stay in their beds/room?

@kvh22 Good luck! Hopefully she will go back to STTN soon. DS always bounced right back after he felt better. I’m not sure what happened this time. I guess it’s a fine line. 😬

Maybe if we got him a little Christmas tree for his room, he would like being in there (and his crib) more. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Kidding, kind of. I guess it’s not that big of a deal for now. I’d probably kind of miss cuddling with him anyway.

aels12 · November 2018

Ds is 22 months and has never slept in our bed, but there have definitely been a somd times that we tried, in hopes of us all getting some sleep. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he is so excited to be in our bed he can’t settle down to save his life. The only place he can sleep is his crib. Or the car seat in the car! Haha

brie_and_almonds · November 2018

@megsb615 DD1 never slept right in her own crib/toddler bed. I would rock her for ages and then lay on the floor holding her hand through the slats of her crib... uncomfortable. It was only after we transitioned her to a big-girl bed (queen, formerly our guest bed) when she was three, that she actually was able to sleep on her own. She's still not great at falling asleep tbh.

mcewen3 · November 2018

@megsb615 both of my girls had climbed out of the crib by age 2 so we transitioned around that time with both of them (22 months for DD1 when I was 8 months pregnant and right after her 2nd bday for DD2). I made sure there wasn't anything unsafe in their rooms, furniture was secure, no lamp cords that could be pulled, plugs all covered, etc and then I totally locked them in there with a childproof doorknob cover. Just for the first little bit while everyone got used to it. After that I started leaving their door open but always closed the gate at the top of the stairs and door to the bathroom so the only place they could wander to was our bedroom if they needed us. Surprisingly, neither one wandered at that age. If they woke up they weren't fully awake yet before they would call out for one of us. So we just went in and settled them back to sleep. Its way easier to snuggle them back to sleep in a real bed then sneak out again then it is to stand over or sit beside a crib.

megsb615 · November 2018

@aels12 I would say that’s probably a good thing! Haha

@brie_and_almonds I have a feeling DS will be the same way with not being great at falling asleep on his own. We still hold him until he falls asleep every night. He’d lose his mind if I tried to put him in his crib awake and get him to lie down. We have an extra full size bed that I’ve really been thinking about trying out. The transition just makes me nervous. 😬

@mcewen3 That’s a good idea about putting a childproof door knob on! It does sound so much easier to try to get him to bed and comfort him if he wakes up at night. I’m kind of tempted to try it. You said you transitioned DD1 while you were pregnant. Did she have a hard time adjusting to the new bed and new baby? I want to say I’ve read some people say it didn’t work out well for them, similar with potty training before a new baby. That’s been another hesitation of mine, but I guess May is still quite a ways away.

mcewen3 · November 2018

@megsb615 I was a little worried about that, but honestly, I found that if I followed my kids' lead they didn't really regress. DD1 decided she was ready to potty train when I was a week overdue. I certainly didn't want to discourage it but I was sure it would go nowhere too since the new baby would arrive any day. She certainly had some accidents, but not an actual regression. The crib wasn't an issue at all. The crib we had was convertible but I hadn't thought to purchase the matching toddler rail ahead of time. So the day she climbed out of the crib I just went to Walmart and bought a pressure-mount bed rail, popped the front panel off the crib and otherwise kept it as is. Because she slept in her crib all the time I think it felt like the same space more or less and made the transition easier. I put the baby in a bassinet and a few months later we made a big deal about finding an actual big girl bed (a twin) and she could choose which bed to sleep in (I left the crib up but put her new bed up as well). Once she was happy in her new bed she gifted the crib to her sister.

Since your DS isn't really sleeping in the crib anyways, I would totally just try his crib mattress on the floor so its easier for you to lay with him at bedtime. See how it goes and if after a week or so you've seen no improvement you can always stick the mattress back in the crib and try again another time.

megsb615 · November 2018

@mcewen3 Great idea! Thank you!! I was wondering the best way to get around moving his crib out of his room and putting a full size bed in there to try, but trying his crib mattress first would be perfect. Hopefully we’ll have a similar experience as you did with DD1 because he also shows 0 interest in the potty at home, and I don’t push it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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