So, I'm definitely going to have to have a cerclage this time around. I just met with MFM on Thursday and the high risk doctor agreed 100%. I'm meeting with my regular OB today to discuss what the MFM recommends and to probably schedule the cerclage. Anyway...my fiance works for a job that is pretty strict about absences due to people abusing it in the past. Instead of saying that he'll work it out, he tells me that I should try to schedule it for as late in the day as possible so he doesn't have to take any time off.
Okay buddy...FIRST of all, I will schedule it whenever they have time. Secondly, this is LITERALLY to save our child's life so I'm sorry if you don't want to miss work for it. And honestly...I'm about to just take a freaking Uber to and from my appointment. I'm so pissed.
@keighty80 My husband works insane hours and travels a lot, often at the last minute, but I'd be upset if he didn't make time for something so important.
I went grocery shopping with my husband yesterday and bought nonsense. I had nothing for breakfast today besides stale bread! I told my husband he needs to help plan groceries because I have been really forgetful and he says, "yeah, I thought you were buying strange stuff yesterday". I said well thanks for the help...
@keighty80 I am so sorry, that is beyond frustrating. I hope he sees how important this is.
I love my OB, but she forgot to order the second part of my blood screen (the 2nd tri one that goes with the NT scan), so today I’ll be waiting on calls to confirm that order, as well as progesterone shots starting next week and my anatomy scan. I also need clarification on how to get the progesterone shot weekly, they were super vague. I hate needing to do follow up like this. I know it’s a little thing, but it feels like my brain can’t keep all this stuff in it sometimes, if that makes any sense.
DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW, because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
My cousin's girlfriend is very immature and clueless but also has a bunch of opinions and judgement on things where she has no information or experience - it can be really frustrating to have conversations with her. I saw her yesterday and our convo was something like this:
her: are you doing the Thanksgiving road race this year? me: no, I'm just going to watch on the sidelines with DD and cheer you guys on. her (super surprised): oh, is it because you're pregnant? me: well yeah... I'm not really a runner so doing a 5k and keeping up with everyone would be a lot of work on my body. It'll be cold and my oxygen will probably be a little shot. It'll probably be really hard for me and I just want to take it easy. her: oh man I can't wait until I'm pregnant I am going to be running outside everyday and working out like crazy in the gym. I won't be able to deal with being fat so I know I'm just going to go nuts with exercise.
me: cool.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@peachy13 😂 oh my goodness. I ran my first pregnancy, but around 20 weeks he started bouncing on my bladder and I would get as far as my street sign before having to run back into the house to pee 😂 but this time it's a good day of I get off the couch.
@keighty80 Okay, I think I'm reading it wrong. Maybe it was the way he said it or something. DH tries to come to every appointment I have but he can't always. I moved my NT ultrasound because he had a meeting at the time it got scheduled but they had time later that day so it wasn't a bit deal. If that didn't work, I was keeping it because I needed an SCH update for my sanity. He has to track his hours (company has to bill to project codes) whereas my work is super flexible and I just have to "get it done." We only make appointments for Mondays and Fridays and try to make them early in the morning or late in the afternoon if possible (which it isn't always) because that's easiest to not conflict with his meetings and to interfere the least with getting his hours in. IMO, pregnancy requires so many appointments, if you don't have the flexibility at work, it can be really hindering. DH wants to come to appointments but he can't always make it (I think he only missed one last pregnancy outside of work travel but he already had to miss one which was an SCH follow up because of meetings he couldn't get out of). If your fiance said "as late *as possible*" I don't really see the problem with it. If noon is as late as possible, then that's fine (at least the way I'm reading it). But maybe I'm relating it to our situation and I'm just projecting. Tell me to go pound sand if that's the case, seriously!
@kvh22 I think it may be slightly different in this case, as cerclage is a medical procedure that usually involves either anesthesia or a spinal and pain meds. I don't think you can drive yourself. It's more of a take the day off/half day kind of an event, rather than just another appointment. Or that's my interpretation anyway.
@keighty80 wishing you all the best on the cerclage! I know it worked great for my former SIL. She lost twins at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix and got the stitch with her second pregnancy and had zero problems!
@keighty80 Okay, I think I'm reading it wrong. Maybe it was the way he said it or something. DH tries to come to every appointment I have but he can't always. I moved my NT ultrasound because he had a meeting at the time it got scheduled but they had time later that day so it wasn't a bit deal. If that didn't work, I was keeping it because I needed an SCH update for my sanity. He has to track his hours (company has to bill to project codes) whereas my work is super flexible and I just have to "get it done." We only make appointments for Mondays and Fridays and try to make them early in the morning or late in the afternoon if possible (which it isn't always) because that's easiest to not conflict with his meetings and to interfere the least with getting his hours in. IMO, pregnancy requires so many appointments, if you don't have the flexibility at work, it can be really hindering. DH wants to come to appointments but he can't always make it (I think he only missed one last pregnancy outside of work travel but he already had to miss one which was an SCH follow up because of meetings he couldn't get out of). If your fiance said "as late *as possible*" I don't really see the problem with it. If noon is as late as possible, then that's fine (at least the way I'm reading it). But maybe I'm relating it to our situation and I'm just projecting. Tell me to go pound sand if that's the case, seriously!
So basically, I don't expect him to come to every appointment but this one is a procedure where I will need a ride home. I'll also be expected to fast so late in the afternoon like he's asking would be difficult since I am diabetic and on insulin. Also, I'm also going to need this procedure before I hit 14 weeks (I'm 13 weeks right now) so whenever they get me in, that'll just have to work. We don't have much choice at this point. I'm not usually demanding or upset if he can't make a normal OB appointment but this one is different.
@kvh22 I think it may be slightly different in this case, as cerclage is a medical procedure that usually involves either anesthesia or a spinal and pain meds. I don't think you can drive yourself. It's more of a take the day off/half day kind of an event, rather than just another appointment. Or that's my interpretation anyway.
@keighty80 wishing you all the best on the cerclage! I know it worked great for my former SIL. She lost twins at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix and got the stitch with her second pregnancy and had zero problems!
Thank you! I had a cerclage with my son and although he was still 5 weeks early, I know it saved his life. I'm really anxious to just get this done!
@keighty80 that all makes so much sense! I figured I was missing something. I didn't realize fasting and anesthesia is involved. My cousin had her son at 25 weeks in early September and they will hopefully be able to take him home by Thanksgiving but she'll need to have that procedure for any future pregnancies due to an incompetent cervix so that is all very good to know. Thank you for explaining. I was just like, well, if DH said that to me and noon was as late as possible, he'd be like "okay, thanks for trying" and would take the time so I was hoping your fiance wasn't being a jerk and trying to look at it from a positive perspective.
@keighty80 that all makes so much sense! I figured I was missing something. I didn't realize fasting and anesthesia is involved. My cousin had her son at 25 weeks in early September and they will hopefully be able to take him home by Thanksgiving but she'll need to have that procedure for any future pregnancies due to an incompetent cervix so that is all very good to know. Thank you for explaining. I was just like, well, if DH said that to me and noon was as late as possible, he'd be like "okay, thanks for trying" and would take the time so I was hoping your fiance wasn't being a jerk and trying to look at it from a positive perspective.
Haha you're fine! It's kind of a weird circumstance. I don't think I would be so bothered if the first thing he had said to me hadn't have been "Well, can you schedule it for a Saturday? I don't want to lose my attendance bonus". Dude. Really?
I think we should change the READ THIS post title to bitch I will snarky gif the fuck out of you if you don't fucking READ THIS FIRST. I'm getting sick of it.
I had a mini “gender reveal” dinner with my parents and my in laws over the weekend. Baby is a boy and my husband and I are thrilled so we wanted to share a fun moment with our parents. My mom was obviously disappointed and instead of congratulating me she made a comment how she didn’t like the baby outfit I bought. Later she cornered my husband to ask if HE was disappointed. I know she has plenty of time to come around and I’m certain she will, but this bothered me. We did IVF so she knows how long we’ve struggled to have a baby and I’m just hurt by her reaction.
@jkduer Sorry to hear your mom had that kind of reaction, it sucks to share exciting news with someone only to have them act disappointed. I have a feeling my mom is going to react the same way when we tell he we are having a boy. Ever since we let her know we were trying to get pregnant she’s been going on and on about how we should have a girl. She even sent me a ton of internet articles on how to make sure you conceive a girl 🙄
@jkduer Wow to your mom. Is this your first? I get gender disappointment to some degree, but not for a first baby at all and certainly not from a grandparent. My first is a boy and we have all boys in the family (there's two grandchildren total so far, ha) and all my mom can talk about is how she hopes this is a girl. I want to smack her because it does not matter -- I'm thrilled with either.
@beccaneu I hope your Mom is able to hide her disappointment better if she has any. In a perfect world she will be thrilled for a healthy baby, I truly hope that’s the reaction you get!
@laeberge3 Yes this is our first. I’m also an only child so my parents first grandchild, and also my in laws first as well.
@sleepy33 Thank you. It’s nice to know it’s not just my hormones being whacky.
@bpietronicco Exactly! Between IVF and the early SCH scares the fact that all our appointments have been great feels like such a success that I couldn’t be disappointed for a second. I feel so lucky we have come this far, there were months/years I thought we never would.
@jkduer Don't let your mom's reaction put a damper on your feelings! You have every right to be thrilled about the pregnancy, about being healthy, and every right to be mad at your mom. Unless they have a mental condition, I do not understand why mothers behave like this! They have been there. They know what it's like!
FFMC I have not told anyone other than you ladies the sex of this baby. I didn't even tell husband yet because he has let things slip to my mom before. My mom is off her bipolar meds and she's been driving me crazy asking if the baby is a boy. She even asked my MIL if she knew the sex! I know my mom is ill but it still hurts my feelings so much that she's so hell bent on a boy, ESPECIALLY since she knows how much im struggling with this pregnancy.
Sorry this post ended up being so long. Im just trying to say, you do you, girl! I banned my mom from coming over on the weekends until she gets back on her meds and is stable again. I will not deal with her added extra stress. If you have to do something similar, then don't be shy. You come first.
I sent a group text to my MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL (SIL's husband) this am with the picture of our ultrasound and the message that our baby was looking perfect today. For about the 7000th time, I got an elated response from EVERYONE except BIL, which just pisses me off. I could write a diatribe about how awful he is and how terribly he treats SIL, but then the family falls all over to accommodate him, his needs, and his schedule. He runs a small business and my ILs are propping him up financially, while my SIL works a 40 hour week at her day job and another 30-40 hours at his shop. But today is his day off, so how dare I text him before 9 am. UGH!
How freaking hard is it, to write a nice message about your future nephew. A simple smiley face emoticon would have done just fine. It makes me angry for so many reasons, but most of all b/c we would have had my SIL be the legal guardian for our LOs if something happened to DH or I, but after they got engaged we decided that we would never let our children be raised by him. So instead, we picked my brother and SIL. I love my brother to death, but he is the ultimate helicopter parent hovering over his 7-year-old son correcting every other thing he does. And my SIL is super shut off and removed from our family. They would be fine to raise our kids, but not ideal. So, as I tell DH all the time, we have to remain healthy!
Re: Monday Bitch Fest 11/12
Okay buddy...FIRST of all, I will schedule it whenever they have time. Secondly, this is LITERALLY to save our child's life so I'm sorry if you don't want to miss work for it. And honestly...I'm about to just take a freaking Uber to and from my appointment. I'm so pissed.
I'm just irritated that it's Monday. It's cold and I want to go back to bed. I also hate having sick kids but having a sick SO is the WORST.
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
I went grocery shopping with my husband yesterday and bought nonsense. I had nothing for breakfast today besides stale bread! I told my husband he needs to help plan groceries because I have been really forgetful and he says, "yeah, I thought you were buying strange stuff yesterday". I said well thanks for the help...
I love my OB, but she forgot to order the second part of my blood screen (the 2nd tri one that goes with the NT scan), so today I’ll be waiting on calls to confirm that order, as well as progesterone shots starting next week and my anatomy scan. I also need clarification on how to get the progesterone shot weekly, they were super vague. I hate needing to do follow up like this. I know it’s a little thing, but it feels like my brain can’t keep all this stuff in it sometimes, if that makes any sense.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
her: are you doing the Thanksgiving road race this year?
me: no, I'm just going to watch on the sidelines with DD and cheer you guys on.
her (super surprised): oh, is it because you're pregnant?
me: well yeah... I'm not really a runner so doing a 5k and keeping up with everyone would be a lot of work on my body. It'll be cold and my oxygen will probably be a little shot. It'll probably be really hard for me and I just want to take it easy.
her: oh man I can't wait until I'm pregnant I am going to be running outside everyday and working out like crazy in the gym. I won't be able to deal with being fat so I know I'm just going to go nuts with exercise.
me: cool.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@keighty80 Okay, I think I'm reading it wrong. Maybe it was the way he said it or something. DH tries to come to every appointment I have but he can't always. I moved my NT ultrasound because he had a meeting at the time it got scheduled but they had time later that day so it wasn't a bit deal. If that didn't work, I was keeping it because I needed an SCH update for my sanity. He has to track his hours (company has to bill to project codes) whereas my work is super flexible and I just have to "get it done." We only make appointments for Mondays and Fridays and try to make them early in the morning or late in the afternoon if possible (which it isn't always) because that's easiest to not conflict with his meetings and to interfere the least with getting his hours in. IMO, pregnancy requires so many appointments, if you don't have the flexibility at work, it can be really hindering. DH wants to come to appointments but he can't always make it (I think he only missed one last pregnancy outside of work travel but he already had to miss one which was an SCH follow up because of meetings he couldn't get out of). If your fiance said "as late *as possible*" I don't really see the problem with it. If noon is as late as possible, then that's fine (at least the way I'm reading it). But maybe I'm relating it to our situation and I'm just projecting. Tell me to go pound sand if that's the case, seriously!
@keighty80 wishing you all the best on the cerclage! I know it worked great for my former SIL. She lost twins at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix and got the stitch with her second pregnancy and had zero problems!
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
@laeberge3 Yes this is our first. I’m also an only child so my parents first grandchild, and also my in laws first as well.
@sleepy33 Thank you. It’s nice to know it’s not just my hormones being whacky.
@bpietronicco Exactly! Between IVF and the early SCH scares the fact that all our appointments have been great feels like such a success that I couldn’t be disappointed for a second. I feel so lucky we have come this far, there were months/years I thought we never would.
@mrsdee15 Thank you.
Unless they have a mental condition, I do not understand why mothers behave like this! They have been there. They know what it's like!
FFMC I have not told anyone other than you ladies the sex of this baby. I didn't even tell husband yet because he has let things slip to my mom before. My mom is off her bipolar meds and she's been driving me crazy asking if the baby is a boy. She even asked my MIL if she knew the sex! I know my mom is ill but it still hurts my feelings so much that she's so hell bent on a boy, ESPECIALLY since she knows how much im struggling with this pregnancy.
Sorry this post ended up being so long. Im just trying to say, you do you, girl!
I banned my mom from coming over on the weekends until she gets back on her meds and is stable again. I will not deal with her added extra stress. If you have to do something similar, then don't be shy. You come first.
I sent a group text to my MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL (SIL's husband) this am with the picture of our ultrasound and the message that our baby was looking perfect today. For about the 7000th time, I got an elated response from EVERYONE except BIL, which just pisses me off. I could write a diatribe about how awful he is and how terribly he treats SIL, but then the family falls all over to accommodate him, his needs, and his schedule. He runs a small business and my ILs are propping him up financially, while my SIL works a 40 hour week at her day job and another 30-40 hours at his shop. But today is his day off, so how dare I text him before 9 am. UGH!
How freaking hard is it, to write a nice message about your future nephew. A simple smiley face emoticon would have done just fine. It makes me angry for so many reasons, but most of all b/c we would have had my SIL be the legal guardian for our LOs if something happened to DH or I, but after they got engaged we decided that we would never let our children be raised by him. So instead, we picked my brother and SIL. I love my brother to death, but he is the ultimate helicopter parent hovering over his 7-year-old son correcting every other thing he does. And my SIL is super shut off and removed from our family. They would be fine to raise our kids, but not ideal. So, as I tell DH all the time, we have to remain healthy!