@Mother0fDragons i don't know how to help but I also feel nervous about another baby. Not only was my last pregnancy rough, my son still doesn't sleep through the night and sometimes I'm so tired I just sit down and cry. But here I am buying a bigger house so we can comfortably fit another little person....I think that it's normal though. Everyone I've talked to is always nervous or another similar feeling to add another. Some things are just easier once your "in it" I think. At least for myself I tend to want to prepare for everything and I think it gives me anxiety when I over do it.
@riff323 I was lurking and saw her as well. I was scared to even participate in TTGP this time around because 1) I felt selfish going for a third when there are so many that haven’t even had their first yet 2) I got KU on cycle 2 with my DD and felt major guilt over that last time. I’m sorry you’re still here and having to see people move on. I really hope you aren’t here much longer.
@lillywonderland How are you feeling now? Did you ever develop the HFM? Sorry for the benched cycle.
@marebear15 for my 17 month old I redirect and try to minimize reactions as to not draw attention to any negative behaviors. And when she does something I want to encourage (like hug/kiss/be kind to the dog vs hitting) I make a big deal about it and cheer. So I draw major attention to the positive behaviors. I found that has been the most helpful in extinguishing some more negative behaviors.
@montee1917 hope you get that later O date so you have a shot this cycle.
@pugmom that’s awesome your body is jumping back to normal rather quickly.
@icking82 I wish we had been in a postion to start trying when we were a little younger. Makes me jealous of some of the moms in my bmbs.
@daisy0322 Congrats on the house! Also, ignore your mom. It’s your decision alone. And whatever you decide will be the right decision. It will be emotional whichever way you decide to go. Breastfeeding is a journey you’ve been on with your LO and the end will be bittersweet no matter if it’s today or in 5 months.
@Mother0fDragons thank you for the kind words. I feel bad feeling bitter because it's out of everyone's control. As for your feelings about adding a third, I think we all feel that way about adding another one. I know I do! It's normal, just like the anxiety you feel when you finally actually do get pregnant: am I really ready to be a parent?!
@lillywonderland - DH won't let me put up our tree until the 22nd And it's a fake one. I always had one growing up and I like the idea that it lasts longer than a real one.
@MotherofDragons I understand that feeling of wanting more but already overwhelmed with what you're dealing with. I want 4, but I think I'm going to decided that I'm crazy at some point. And thanks for the advice. I'm definitely making a huge deal when she obeys and doesn't touch something or comes when she's called. Sometimes I feel like I'm training a pet
@marebear15 we want 4 too! I think we may spread them out a little further than we planed though for numbers 3 & 4 lol. I saw your chart on TWW!!!! fx to you, how exciting
@marebear15 and @daisy0322 I'm with you on wanting 3-4. The longer I stay here the less likely it seems. I am soooo grateful for my kiddo, but I never wanted to raise an only child. I hope we can still have at least one more.
@Mother0fDragons I know what you mean about feeling bad! Our first happened so fast that I felt a little bad too. Every cycle that goes by now I feel more and more like she was a miracle.
@daisy0322 - Originally I wanted 4 before I turned 30, which is still possible if I get KU right away and then have the next two 20 months apart. Yeah, so probably not going to happen.
@lillywonderland Thanks for asking; still sick. No improvement @Mother0fDragons I'm also debating my choice (to have a second). I can entirely relate to "just getting by" and worry about managing. I read something on Facebook recently, how people were saying to stop trying to find the balance in life, there is no such thing. We are all just fumbling through. Do what you need to to fulfill your heart, the rest will come naturally.
Married 11/21/2018
Me: 33 / DH: 33
TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016
BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014
IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016
@marebear15 haha yeah that was my goal too... I got pregnant with my son first try at 24 years old so I think I was a little over confident. My new goal is 3 or 4 babies by 32 years old.
Oh, just a little random. We are going to see Fred Penner tonight! He is coming to our theater, and tickets were only $12/adult, $8/kid. So, DD and I have a date night. Can hard wait!
Married 11/21/2018
Me: 33 / DH: 33
TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016
BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014
IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016
I would LOVE to have 3, but I’m 36, and rapidly approaching 37. So, wishing/hoping/working for 2, and will be overjoyed at that! I’m an only child, and while I loved my childhood, I want siblings for my kiddos.
I was 31 when I had DS...I honestly couldn’t imagine having at kid at 24. I was too busy backpacking Europe! 😂 When did you guys meet YH’s? HS or College? I didn’t meet mine until I was 25!
@marebear15 I always had real trees growing up and we did the first couple years we lived together but TBH they are a PITA with all their tiny needles falling everywhere! I do miss the smell though. I might get some of those scenty sticks to hang in the tree this year.
@MotherofDragons As others have said before, I think we all have a bit of anxiety or moments of panic when it comes to adding to our family. A new person disrupts the family dynamic, but you’ll roll with it!
@lillywonderland - I met DH in college, I was 20, he was 22. We got married two years later when I graduated college and he grad school. Honestly I had enough of the "single" life during college, and I'm glad that I settled down so quickly. We both have stable jobs, bought a house right before our first kid, and had over 2 years of married life together before our DD joined us. Also, the mess is another reason I never wanted a real Christmas tree. I'll just light a candle when I want to smell pine!
@lillywonderland I also had DD at 31. I would have been an even shittier mom in my 20s than I am now - NO judgement on anyone else, just speaking on who I am. I met DH right before I turned 25, and we got married right before I turned 28.
@lillywonderland i met my husband at 18 when we were in college and we started dating at 20 and we got serious around 22. We were together for 4 years including a 1 year deployment he was on when we got married 24. I really enjoy that we have a very laid back relationship and we respect that we are growing up together. I never enjoyed the single life (i admit I was wayyyy wild and if I continued on like that I'd probably be dead by 30) I always only ever wanted a home and a family and most of my partying was because I wasn't happy with how things were and I was lonely. 24 around here is a normal time to get pregnant with your first anyways so it's not as if anyone in my real life considers us young at all so I've not really thought much of it until you asked. We are buying our first house right now butvthats because I got put in bed rest when I was pregnant so we had to call off moving and then it just got away from us. I work one of the top children's hospitals in the country/world right now and my husband is in construction, which he enjoys. Our realationship has evolved through time but it's always been worth it and I wouldn't want it any other way. Everyone is different and takes a different path it interesting to get to know other types of people
@riff323 I am pretty sure we are the same person! 🤣 I wasn’t irresponsible in my 20s, I just was selfish (for a lack of a better word). Plus, we were DINKS for like 6+ years. We saved a ton of $ and took a lot of trips.
@marebear15 Sometimes I wish I had met MH in college, you’re so lucky! Both of my sisters met their husbands in college. I think it’s so neat that you guys have that shared experience. We went to college on opposite sides of the country.
@lillywonderland YES!!! I was definitely selfish in my 20s, and it was super fun. And it was great being DINKS too! Sometimes I feel a little sad that many of the other moms I know are still in their 20s but it is what it is, and I think I am a better parent for having waited a little bit.
@daisy0322 I do agree that it is quite interesting to hear everyone else's experiences. If you don't mind sharing - whereabouts are you located? I *think* it's more common in the Southern-ish States (and Hispanic Catholic communities) to get married/have kids in your early 20s (according to Say Yes to the Dress and every show on HGTV I watch!). It seems like my circle of friends all got married/had kids around the 28-32 range (grew up in NE, now live in CA).
@lillywonderland: I'm from the south (rural south as hometown), and there's a big difference in when people coupled off and had kids for sure. My highschool classmates probably have an average marriage age of 21 or 22, and there are SEVERAL people who already have high-school aged children (I am a little older, too, but we're talking 36 year-olds with sophomores in high school).
My college friends (also southern) also had a big group of folks get married the first 1-3 years after graduation (so 22-24 year-olds), and lots of them have elementary/middle school kids now.
Now in my (still southern) urban setting, I have a group of friends that have 2-5 year-olds (me included); interestingly, a lot of us are prolonged schooling (or super busy/career oriented) people: attorney, public accountant, PA, NP, MD, etc.
We live in Maryland and I had dd right before turning 24, and I feel like I am older than a lot of the kids in her class’ parents. But, the school is in a poor district. I feel like my friends and family is varied though. My cousin has kids my kids age and he is in his 50s as is dds bff’s mom. With the next one, I am definitely going to be one of the older moms at the school, since best case scenario I will be 32 when it is born.
@lillywonderland we are on that mid western/ southern boarder depends on who you ask! My husband is full southerner though we live in a fairly rural area too. Seems the adverage age to get married around here is 22-26 and people tend to have kids either right away or before they're married. I was actually the first in my giant family to be married before pregnant and I only lasted a couple weeks post wedding.
Re: TFAS w/o 11/5
@lillywonderland How are you feeling now? Did you ever develop the HFM? Sorry for the benched cycle.
@marebear15 for my 17 month old I redirect and try to minimize reactions as to not draw attention to any negative behaviors. And when she does something I want to encourage (like hug/kiss/be kind to the dog vs hitting) I make a big deal about it and cheer. So I draw major attention to the positive behaviors. I found that has been the most helpful in extinguishing some more negative behaviors.
@montee1917 hope you get that later O date so you have a shot this cycle.
@mokay19 I had spotting with my AnO cycle.
@foodislove what a cute theme!
@pugmom that’s awesome your body is jumping back to normal rather quickly.
@icking82 I wish we had been in a postion to start trying when we were a little younger. Makes me jealous of some of the moms in my bmbs.
@daisy0322 Congrats on the house! Also, ignore your mom. It’s your decision alone. And whatever you decide will be the right decision. It will be emotional whichever way you decide to go. Breastfeeding is a journey you’ve been on with your LO and the end will be bittersweet no matter if it’s today or in 5 months.
@MotherofDragons I understand that feeling of wanting more but already overwhelmed with what you're dealing with. I want 4, but I think I'm going to decided that I'm crazy at some point. And thanks for the advice. I'm definitely making a huge deal when she obeys and doesn't touch something or comes when she's called. Sometimes I feel like I'm training a pet
@Mother0fDragons I know what you mean about feeling bad! Our first happened so fast that I felt a little bad too. Every cycle that goes by now I feel more and more like she was a miracle.
@Mother0fDragons I'm also debating my choice (to have a second). I can entirely relate to "just getting by" and worry about managing. I read something on Facebook recently, how people were saying to stop trying to find the balance in life, there is no such thing. We are all just fumbling through. Do what you need to to fulfill your heart, the rest will come naturally.
Married 11/21/2018
Me: 33 / DH: 33
TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016
BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014
IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016
IUD removed 10/3/2018
Ready to TTC for #2
Married 11/21/2018
Me: 33 / DH: 33
TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016
BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014
IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016
IUD removed 10/3/2018
Ready to TTC for #2
@marebear15 I always had real trees growing up and we did the first couple years we lived together but TBH they are a PITA with all their tiny needles falling everywhere! I do miss the smell though. I might get some of those scenty sticks to hang in the tree this year.
@MotherofDragons As others have said before, I think we all have a bit of anxiety or moments of panic when it comes to adding to our family. A new person disrupts the family dynamic, but you’ll roll with it!
@pugmum ☹️ I hope you turn the corner soon!
Also, the mess is another reason I never wanted a real Christmas tree. I'll just light a candle when I want to smell pine!
@marebear15 Sometimes I wish I had met MH in college, you’re so lucky! Both of my sisters met their husbands in college. I think it’s so neat that you guys have that shared experience. We went to college on opposite sides of the country.
My college friends (also southern) also had a big group of folks get married the first 1-3 years after graduation (so 22-24 year-olds), and lots of them have elementary/middle school kids now.
Now in my (still southern) urban setting, I have a group of friends that have 2-5 year-olds (me included); interestingly, a lot of us are prolonged schooling (or super busy/career oriented) people: attorney, public accountant, PA, NP, MD, etc.
With the next one, I am definitely going to be one of the older moms at the school, since best case scenario I will be 32 when it is born.