UO Thursday 11/8

peachy13 · November 2018

UO: sloths are weird and not cute

sleepy33 · November 2018

@peachy13 I started a tumblr once about how Burt Reynolds looked like a sloth

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/as/4o6wy9f4dzzu.jpg

chloe97 · November 2018

I really don't care about following a lot AAP guidelines for a lot of things that affect development but am a nazi about the safety recommendations. For instance, my daughter never goes to anyone's house without me asking if they have a gun or a pool (FIL was pissed when I grilled him before he took DD to a family reunion without us), I will keep her rear-facing in her car seat until she's 40 lbs (max rear-facing for her car seat, I just bought a lockbox for all of our meds, lock all our poisons up etc. But DD watches a shit ton of TV at 16 months, subsists basically only on Mac and Cheese and eats no vegetables, and I did not breastfeed with her and I am very much leaning towards not breastfeeding this one.

In my mind, I just figure that making myself crazier is worse overall for the baby and that because of our education and socioeconomic status (ie we don't live in a dangerous neighborhood and don't worry about where our next meal comes from), I know she has a lot of protections. But safety wise, no amount of privileged upbringing can protect you in a car crash or if your kids ingest something they should not. So I will continue to be on nazi on that one.

kvh22 · November 2018

I think people are scared of High Deductible Plans for health insurance with an HSA but they make so much sense, even when pregnant. It pisses me off that these people cannot do the math to figure out that it's such a great option (depending on your benefits, but my company makes it a $0 premium with great employer contribution to the HSA).

missy052819 · November 2018

@peachy13 haha I just bought a pair of pajama pants with sloths all over them & I have a painted picture of a sloth hanging up at home

mariposa_767s · November 2018

@sleepy33 I never understood why people thought Burt Reynolds was cute.
@kvh22 I have that kind of plan. Every doctor visit costs me $200 and my prescriptions can be over $100. It sucks because I still pay for insurance each month plus there's no employer contribution to my HSA. I hate going to the doctor as a result. We even have to pay for vaccinations (dTap is $100). I can do the math and it sucks lol

My UO: Some gender reveals are far too obnoxious. Some can be tasteful but it's not necessary to make a box of powder explode from 100 yards away with a sniper rifle.

expandcontract · November 2018

I can't stand Adam Levine's voice and it's usually always stuck in my head!

SpaceBurger · November 2018

@expandcontract I can't either!! It's ALWAYS on the radio for the past 10 years and sheesh, I can't get away from the guy.

brie_and_almonds · November 2018

I find 99% of pregnancy announcements obnoxious and cheesy and not cute.

k2k2tog · November 2018

I hate Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes and everything Samaritan's Purse does. Except they're everywhere and we can't seem to escape them.

sleepy33 · November 2018

k2k2tog said:

I hate Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes and everything Samaritan's Purse does. Except they're everywhere and we can't seem to escape them.

IDK what this is

peachy13 · November 2018

@bri_and_almonds this is probably weird to most but in my social media circle it is actually in to not post a pregnancy announcement, and to just tell people offline but then casually let a photo of yourself looking pregnant appear online. It's really weird but it's totally what we all do lol. For what it's worth I didn't post an announcement with DD and won't with this one either. Everyone I care about knows so who am I really trying to tell? Random HS or college people I don't talk to anymore? The truth will come out eventually.

lovelybabybumpz · November 2018

@peachy13 @brie_and_almonds
haha. This should be my FFFC, but the only reason I posted a pregnancy announcement on social media this time was to antagonize my non-voting SIL in a passive aggressive way. I was planning on just letting the social media aspect slide, because most people that I cared to tell already knew IRL. Plus it's kid #2, so we're like totally chill, right? haha.

chloe97 · November 2018

@peachy13 Honestly, I think that is what most the AMA moms do. I posted a picture of myself at 37 weeks pregnant with a #dueJuly1 just so the baby picture wasn't a complete surprise to the people who I never ever talk to and the new would not trickle to organically.

Pregnancy announcements were in before we got high risk and started realizing that a LOT of our friends were struggling with losses or IF and that our announcements were INCREDIBLY triggering for some people who we were very close to and would never want to hurt. Believe me, after my 2 losses, I blocked a ton of people on FB who posted announcements. So my 2nd UO for the day is that pregnancy announcements are insensitive. Even if you don't realize, they are extremely painful to some people you care for. T

ETA Even after you find out about their struggles, they will almost for likely never tell you about how your cutesy picture caused them to spend the day in bed curled up, sobbing so hard that they could not catch their breath. But make no mistake, it was very likely that they did.

kvh22 · November 2018

@peachy13 what you said is exactly what I did but not the norm in my circle. I think we have 3 total friends or coworkers who are a bit older than us, who did the same. To @chloe97's point, I'm not AMA but have friends of varying ages and friends my age struggling with IF (one is due in Feb now after trying and treatment for a couple years each although she cut all ties with me when I emailed her that I was pregnant with DD).

chloe97 · November 2018

@kvh22 I had an extremely close friend who went throuh 2 losses at the same time as me, cut me out of her life after I hit 12 weeks with DD and she found out she would have to proceed to IVF. She's now 3.5 years in and moved on to donor eggs. I can't talk to her bc it's virtually impossible to hide that I have a child and she doesn't want to hear about it. She literally walks away if we are in the same circle at a party and DD's name is raised. I also have friends who started a bit later in life (38 versus 35) and made their peace that kids were not in the future- who came to visit 2 weeks after DD was born and brought gifts. It's a mixed bag how people are going to react to your news. Either way, people gotta do what people gotta do to get through their lives. And I get it and I am not offended. I just hope and pray that she will get her baby and we can be friends again. Not having her in my life sucks.

anonellis · November 2018

@peachy13 same here. None of my friends post announcements. I didn’t last time either although I posted a picture I was in with a significant third trimester bump at some point without mentioning it (and I’m sure other friends posted pictures i was in before that just because I didn’t specifically ask anyone not to). I do think it’s more sensitive to people struggling but I also think it’s a little bit about being older and concerned about jinxing things (I know jinx isn’t an actual thing). I’m showing so I’ll tell people as I see them or mention it when I happen to talk to out of town friends. The only people we are going out of our way to tell this time are our immediate families and we aren’t doing anything cutesy.

i did, however, post an announcement when my kids were born. Not sure why that’s not as insensitive to people struggling in my mind, but somehow it seems different?

beccaneu · November 2018

@mariposa_767s I’m with you on the obnoxious gender reveals. I don’t have a problem with people being excited to share the sex of their baby with everyone, and the simple reveals don’t bother me that much. Having it be it’s own separate party with an expectation or gifts in addition to a pregnancy announcement party and a baby shower seems a bit excessive to me and some of the cutesy sayings like “touchdowns or tutus” or “cupcake or stud muffin” really rub me the wrong way.

k2k2tog · November 2018

@sleepy33 they're shoeboxes that privileged people in North America pack with North American toys, hygiene products, and school supplies and ship to children in countries viewed as less privileged. Which sounds great, and people feel really good about making them, but the program is all sort s of problematic. But every single program DD1 is involved in seems to be putting them together this year.

kvh22 · November 2018

@chloe97 yea I completely understand. I knew when I told her that was probably what was going to happen. We're both transplants out here but only knew each other for a year and a half before that happened...basically hung out every single weekend with our husbands (she and DH worked together). She said congratulations and that she was really happy for us via her email response but we only saw her twice after at a work happy hour and her going away party, which it would have been awkward if we weren't invited to, but she barely said a word to us. I had hoped we'd reconnect when she got pregnant but she hasn't reached out (it's now been almost 2 years). DH does not understand, though, so idk if he'd be open to us all hanging out - he was pretty upset by the whole thing and didn't see it coming.

@mariposa_767s yea, that definitely makes a difference. It does cost us $200 to go to the doctor if it isn't preventative. We're maxing out our contributions so the tax benefits still make sense for DH (who rarely has to go to the doctor) plus he's over the $1,000 threshold for it to become an investment account that earns money. For me, my company makes it more than worthwhile.

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