Ask A STM week of Oct 29

disneybaby84 · October 2018

FTMs asking STMs questions!

hnbergeron · October 2018

If baby is measuring normally but acting like a much older baby(he is behaving almost 2wks ahead. Measuring the 24 we are but behaving 26) does this mean he will probably come early? I will most likely have to be induced at 39weeks anyway. Also, are there any tips for dealing with a full time job and HG without dying? I work as a manager in a restaurant

P.s this app sucks and keeps deleting words...

disneybaby84 · October 2018

@hnbergeron it might mean baby comes early or it might just mean a big baby like a 9 or 10 pound baby.

okayestmom12 · October 2018

A baby measuring ahead doesn't necessarily mean that they will be born early, @hnbergeron. My kids always measured pretty far ahead (u/s measurements) and both were just about 10 lbs at birth.

No real advice re: HG. I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy!

hnbergeron · October 2018

What is confusing me is that size wise he is measuing in the 45th percentile and normal for 24 weeks. But each nurse and ultrasound tech says he is wriggling, moving and punching/kicking with the strength of a 26 week or older. Maybe they are just being nice? And the doc said he will probably be smaller since I have the 2 vessel cord issue. Just lots of conflicting info and getting confused if it really means anything

etnyah · October 2018

@hnbergeron sounds to me like they’re trying to reassure you that he’s strong and healthy, especially if they picked up on you worrying about his size due to the cord issue. 45th percentile is perfectly normal!

My boy was in the 43rd percentile during my AS, and I have no cord issue. He’s strong and active too. We’ll have healthy little boys who can pack a punch!

kayjay44 · October 2018

@hnbergeron - As for the HG, lots of medication and small meals. I also have Ziplock bags with me everywhere - the car, my backpack, my purse, my desk, just in case I need to puke. Luckily, I've been able to make it to the bathroom at work and on the train. I also have a puke bucket at home in my bedroom.

I wouldn't read into anything they tell you about baby size - they can be REALLY wrong. As for the strong kicking/punching, all of mine have been this way - DD broke a rib and this one has already sprained a ligament. Mine have both come early (37 and 38 weeks), but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Since both my kids were almost exactly the same size (.5 oz difference), I'm convinced my body evicts them when they hit 7 lbs 5 oz/19.25 inches.

danixbanani24 · October 2018

So this LO measures ahead a lot too and like two weeks ago at my OB appt was already 2lbs which I was surprised about. I just have a weird "momtuition" that this LO is coming early. I don't know why but I can't shake it. Nevermind that I went to OB thinking I was 6 weeks preg, found out I was 9 weeks preg, and then they bumped my EDD up another week at 12 week scan to 1/29. (I know I'm an interloper but I started with you guys and I like you better LOL) Who knows I could be totally wrong but usually my intuition is right...at least in terms of pregnancy.

disneybaby84 · October 2018

@danixbanani24 I too have had a feeling this baby isn’t going 40 weeks

lzzfrancisco · October 2018

I have a feeling this baby is going to try and push me to 41+ weeks. Idk why.. my DD was 40+3

allthingsgo · October 2018

I’m really hoping this baby comes early. My OB doesn’t want me going past 40 weeks since I’m trying for a vbac so if she doesn’t come early it means RCS which I really don’t want.

okayestmom12 · October 2018

Team RCS at 39w on the dot. Holler.

That being said, I had an RCS scheduled with my son and my water broke 6 hours before I was supposed to report to the hospital. Water never broke with my first so that was an interesting experience

ohsunnydays · October 2018

Has anyone taken Mama Natural birth course online?? Is it good?
I have a stack of books to read to help me prep, but thought to do 1 online course (better for our schedules). Also, my DH is not a reader (and I love to read), and I want him to be aware of what's going on because who knows what state I'll be in with this whole delivery thing!
I would like to try for natural birth, but who knows how it will go! I can't say! But, I do know I'm the type of person who wants to be prepared for everything in case the epidural doesn't work. I've had some friends say that their epidurals failed and they were miserable because they weren't ready.
All thoughts on this course are appreciated

or other online courses!!

bellebaby221 · October 2018

RCS here to. Planning to schedule for 39w3d if she cooperates. I just want to avoid January 16 since that's my youngest DS birthday. I never went into labor with any of my others.

disneybaby84 · October 2018

@ohsunnydays I never took an online course. I only read two books. Then just went with the flow when labor happened. I succeeded in natural birth.

hannahbananas11 · October 2018

@ohsunnydays I'm assuming that by "natural birth" you mean unmedicated? Or are you delivering at home with no intervention whatsoever? As far as I'm aware, birth in general is a natural process, with or without those things. Anyway, if it's the former, my doula recommended books and an in-person class to me and H, since a lot of birth partners learn best by doing, rather than reading or seeing. If it's the latter, I have no knowledge to share.

thechickendance · October 2018

@hannahbananas11 (and anyone else!) What books were recommended to you, or what did you read pre-baby for child birth prep?

BourbonBiscuits · October 2018

@ohsunnydays my epidural failed and I WISHHHH I’d had a damn clue what to do. I mean he came out so it was fine I guess lol. Definitely going to be reading more on pain management techniques this time around.

hnbergeron · October 2018

thechickendance said:

@hannahbananas11 (and anyone else!) What books were recommended to you, or what did you read pre-baby for child birth prep?

Second this question! I am really starting to look into these but don't want things that will freak me out, lol.

@kayjay44 thanks for the advice. I try small meals but when at work it is impossible. Like I go sometimes my entire 9hr shift realizing I never ate or drank. Oops...then I feel all pukey and don't want to eat. Love this viscous cycle.

I am sure the doctors were "reassuring" me but to be honest I like straight forward info versus the let me ease your worry info.

ohsunnydays · October 2018

Awesome @disneybaby84 !! @hannahbananas11 ah, sorry I wasn't clear!! Can't people read my mind

would like to try unmedicated hospital birth. What class did your doula recommend?
@BourbonBiscuits yikesss!!! In the end healthy baby is all that matters but that totally sucks....

disneybaby84 · October 2018

@ohsunnydays I had an unmedicated hospital birth. What helped me was my mentality during the process. Reading Ina May’s Guide to childbirth definitely helped, but at the same time, i didn’t know my experience until I was having my own experience. if that makes sense. Preparing is good, but your experience will be unique to you. It may or may not match what you read or study. Preparing your state of mind I feel is most effective.

lzzfrancisco · October 2018

disneybaby84 said:

@ohsunnydays I had an unmedicated hospital birth. What helped me was my mentality during the process. Reading Ina May’s Guide to childbirth definitely helped, but at the same time, i didn’t know my experience until I was having my own experience. if that makes sense. Preparing is good, but your experience will be unique to you. It may or may not match what you read or study. Preparing your state of mind I feel is most effective.

Everything she said, and adding preparing DH's state of mind, and giving him an arsenal of techniques to help comfort and relax you.

ohsunnydays · October 2018

Thanks @disneybaby84 and @lzzfrancisco! I’m glad to hear I’m on the right track. That book is on my list, along with Hypnobirthing and Natual Hospital Birth. Just need to get my mind in control. The mind is so powerful!

kayjay44 · October 2018

The epidural has never worked for me - I have bad scoliosis and they haven’t been able to get it in.

Honestly, I think most classes are a waste of money - they give you a sense of control now but that shit pretty much goes out the window when shit gets real. I handle pain pretty well luckily (thanks, severe migraines!) and while it sucks, knowing that it won’t go on forever is the only thing that kept me going. Even DH thought they were pretty useless.

wifemomme · October 2018

I personally think that fear is your biggest hurdle going into labor. If you go into it afraid of the pain and the process it will be harder to cope. I liked the birth class they gave at the hospital. I didn't really learn many pain management techniques, but I did learn how my hospital did things, and that was very helpful.

etnyah · October 2018

Since we're going to the same place @kayjay44, were there any specific classes you took that you didn't find helpful? I plan on doing Childbirth Preparation, Newborn Preparation (includes NB care & breastfeeding), Infant Safety & CPR and I want to send H to Conscious Fathering. Dunno if you've taken all or any of those, but is that maybe overkill?

hannahbananas11 · October 2018

@ohsunnydays I've started reading Natural Hospital Birth and have enjoyed it so far. It's very informative without fear-mongering. I personally hated Ina May's book, but I think I'm in the minority on that (maybe that should be my UO next week! Lol). The class is taught by my doula, which is why I'm excited for it. It'll be specific to our hospital and my pregnancy.
I like to know as much as possible going in to things, because I hate surprises. I usually do best when I feel prepared. So I'll also be going on a tour of the hospital's l&d wing, just so I'm familiar with the place beforehand.

eggsandwich2019 · October 2018

@ohsunnydays I am very intrigued by hypnobirthing since it seems like it might provide some techniques for trying to remain chill in stressful situations- but also it might be that all the calming techniques fly out the window in the moment! It can’t hurt though, right? I’m also interested in an unmedicated/low-intervention hospital birth

sjnsjnsjn · October 2018

@grebretso- I can't speak to the actual courses where you plan to go but my SO and I took courses covering all those things (except the fathering one) at Northwestern hospital here in Chicago and found each worthwhile.

dcaron10 · October 2018

@allthingsgo I am also trying for a vbac and really hope I don’t go past 40 weeks. My OB said they will schedule a RCS for 41 weeks

BourbonBiscuits · October 2018

We also didn't take any classes, but we absolutely did take a hospital tour. It was so helpful to know where we would go, how everything would progress, what their policies are. It was fantastic. Especially re: visitors/security.

okayestmom12 · October 2018

No classes. No tour. We totally winged it with our first - ha!

I will say that I wish I had taken a breastfeeding class... I didn’t last very long BF and always wonder if I had an Arsenal of knowledge, of wed have been more successful (FWIW, I nursed my 2nd for 15 mo this sand class BUT did have a big network of friends who had BF a successful by then that I leaned upon).

hnbergeron · October 2018

@kayjay44 that is my mindset right now. It is 1 or 2 days of crap but with everything we have delt with so far, I think I am ok with it. Plus I also get severe migraines. And going to do everything I can to opt out of an epidural.

When did everyone do the hospital tour? Also is there any tips for actually sleeping starting around this time. I may or may not murder DH ama dog. They both snore and DH is a whiney butt about the nasal strips that help. Dog is special needs so has to be nearby or will spend the entire night scratching doors or barking (we have tried in the past).

AshleySparkle720 · October 2018

I didn't take classes, but I had been in the room for 2 very different births by the time my first was born. After seeing one friend spontaneously have a baby at 24 weeks and another friend have hers excruciatingly slowly at 41.5 weeks I felt prepared for anything. I don't think a class would've prepared me in the same ways so I stayed away. Trust your provider(s) they'll walk you through the process while it happens.

AshleySparkle720 · October 2018

I definitely did tour the place before I had my first. Specifically because I was on my own and I did not want to get lost in a hospital while I was in labor. I couldn't have cared less about the rules I just wanted to know where to go. Haha

danixbanani24 · October 2018

I did the tour for L&D at the hospital for DS - it was informative I guess to tell us where to go but most of the session was about BFing including watching a video about BFing (which it wasn't a BF class so...?) It was just a little confusing because I would rather that have been a separate class and more information on the hospital, L&D, etc.

This time around my aunt works at the hospital I am delivering at so I may just ask her to show me around. The only class I'm interested in at this point is infant/child CPR.

allthingsgo · October 2018

@dcaron10 that’s great they are letting you go to 41 weeks. How big was your baby with your c section? Mine was almost 10lbs which is why my OB won’t let me go to 41 weeks.

dcaron10 · October 2018

@allthingsgo he was 8lbs so not too big. I was in labor for 27 hours and just never dialated to a 10 so that’s why they did the CS

thechickendance · October 2018

We were told to schedule the hospital tour during the 7th month, so we are doing that and 3 different classes in November. I want to be prepared, even if they aren't as useful as I'm hoping.

disneybaby84 · October 2018

@thechickendance to be fair, from what I have heard as far as usefulness with classes goes, it depends on who is delivering the classes. I have heard stories from a large variety of experiences. In regards to the hospital tour, I feel it is useful to know where to go and the polices in place. Also if DH is with you, some hospitals will offer food for you and DH and some hospitals will offer just you food. Good policy to know.

kayjay44 · October 2018

@grebretso - With our first, we did the multiweek class that covered everything. I had a ton of baby experience from growing up, so I could have done without everything (although a CPR refresher for infants would have been good). Mostly, I did it for DH who was never around babies and had no experience - he thought some of it was helpful for sure and it made him feel more prepared. The BF prep is useless - you'll get more info from the nurses and lactation consultants.

I would definitely take a tour of the hospital too - we did it last time since we hadn't been to that hospital for a birth before. At Swedish Ballard, they just give patients food, not spouses - I really didn't eat much hospital food since there is so much good stuff close by.

As for getting a "low-intervention" birth, I've had two-ish (I had a partial epidural the first time which was shit). For me, lots of distractions helped - I brought my iPad and watched stuff until shit started getting real (like transition). I had intermittent monitoring (largely, just checking FHR with a doppler) and a hep lock (which I advise everyone get in case of emergency) because I was group B strep positive both times - I was allowed to move around with the IV as much as I wanted. I ended up taking like 6 showers the second time because it really helped with my labor pain.

For not killing sleeping husbands, I advise they sleep elsewhere on request - If DH is keeping me up, he moves to the guest room (and visa versa)

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