Hi everyone So I'm back. Been a crazy few weeks. Thank you for all your sweet prayers and words. Sending in my pic and info now, be warned, I'm in my pjs and refused to change lol
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I have truly enjoyed you ladies' encouragement and advice through this journey. I was looking forward to advancing with everyone but it seems I didnt comment enough or post enough. When in fact, I was informed by one of the admins that they do recognize me and have learned alot about me. I cried reading the decision to deny me in the Facebook group and my hubby saw me crying and I had to explain. When I was done we both sat in sadness realizing how when my skin color was unknown I was safe but I quickly became unsafe, not granted entry and all of a sudden "I don't comment enough" when it became apparent that I was black. I told myself I'd move on and not comment but then I realized I needed this practice of standing up for what's right in order to be a better role model for my daughter. Thanks and many blessings to your newborns.
I'm editing my post to simplify and say that I hope after some reflection, you know in your heart that none of this is about ethnicity. I feel offended that you would even think that [I'm 100% Mexican and have never felt alienated on the Bump, and this is my second BMB]. If you were truly engaged and followed threads like HDBD, you'd know that you are not the only black mama, or the only one of color.
I hope you can teach your daughter to not automatically jump to ethnicity when she feels wronged. And I do hope that after reflecting more you decide to stick around here. The obvious solution in this situation, in my opinion, would have been to keep posting here so that those of us who are still active can get to know you.
I also want to add that I am sorry that you feel hurt. I'm sure it's a really crappy feeling. But know that it completely, sincerely, 100% wasn't anyone's intention.
[I'm not one of the moderators but I really felt compelled to reply.]
@blueberrysmommy25 Skin color had ZERO bearing on our decision - I don't know how to make it any more clear than as I wrote in my response to your request. Commenting more is nice, but we really don't know anything about you other than that you're having a babe in December.
I'm still starting community threads for all to participate in - and I welcome you to join. These threads are opportunities for us to get to know you and we would love to learn more about you.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@blueberrysmommy25 I am sincerely sorry that you feel so hurt by the decision that was made not to add you to the facebook group at this time. I think it’s ok that you included echo’s response because in the end, that’s the truth. Going to Facebook is a leap to something much more personal and the mods of the group are doing the difficult task of trying to protect the group by keeping it to people they feel we all truly “know” as much as we can on this open forum. It may seem arbitrary, and maybe it is a little bit. As far as I know there’s no set number of posts you have to reply to or length of time you should have participated for, but more of a “Do we know this person” feeling. I could be wrong about that because I’m not a mod but that’s my assumption. We picked the mods we did because they are the most supportive, active and level-headed participants here that we as a group thought could make these decisions. This group has been so non judgmental and kind to each other as a whole, that I can’t see how even one, let alone all of them, would make a decision like this based on skin color. That simply was not the case, at all, but I’m really sorry that you felt that it was. Not having that experience I can’t imagine how isolating it must feel to think that a decision on your character was based on that and that’s why I wanted to reply. I really don’t want you to think that that had anything to do with this. I hope when you reflect on this you can at least see the truth of that. Even before you posted we were chastising ourselves a little bit because we really dropped off here before we meant to. I’ll be making more of an effort to stick around and I think other people will too. I hope you’ll keep participating so we can get to know you better, but understand if you don’t.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@MDKC14 Check your messages, I included some instructions
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@ebk20 I want to quit FB, but that just isn't easily feasible I mean it's obviously possible and free to delete, but MH and I move often and don't live near family so FB is how we broadly keep up with them. In fact, DH resurrected his profile because it's become a networking essential in his career. It's annoying because we'd rather live offline, but everyone else is so connected it's more beneficial for us to be in the loop than to be outside. *shrugs shoulders*
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@misscheapandchic Got it! I brief instructions are in your inbox too
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Re: To Facebook We Go!
So I'm back. Been a crazy few weeks. Thank you for all your sweet prayers and words. Sending in my pic and info now, be warned, I'm in my pjs and refused to change lol
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I hope you can teach your daughter to not automatically jump to ethnicity when she feels wronged. And I do hope that after reflecting more you decide to stick around here. The obvious solution in this situation, in my opinion, would have been to keep posting here so that those of us who are still active can get to know you.
[I'm not one of the moderators but I really felt compelled to reply.]
I'm still starting community threads for all to participate in - and I welcome you to join. These threads are opportunities for us to get to know you and we would love to learn more about you.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Even before you posted we were chastising ourselves a little bit because we really dropped off here before we meant to. I’ll be making more of an effort to stick around and I think other people will too. I hope you’ll keep participating so we can get to know you better, but understand if you don’t.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
In fact, DH resurrected his profile because it's become a networking essential in his career. It's annoying because we'd rather live offline, but everyone else is so connected it's more beneficial for us to be in the loop than to be outside. *shrugs shoulders*
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018