Why my SO is a $*#%@!

kristimh80 · September 2018

@meggyme No, you're totally right. Usually, he's super sweet and has been great besides that 1 remark. He just feels I'm tempting fate. Luckily, I was never a huge coffee drinker...I think now I crave it all due to being tired and being told I shouldn't have it.

mayoduck · September 2018

Saying those things is definitely not ok. At the start, MH would remind me of certain food restrictions I'm supposed to follow and I let him know that it annoyed me and how much he was cherry picking the things he would pester me about and how occasionally breaking the rules is really not a big deal. It was also helpful for him to hear from the doctor and from our parent friends that some of the restrictions, while in place for important reasons, are really over cautious and not worth stressing over. He's been much better. I think it's his way of trying to be helpful, I try to remind myself that since he is not experiencing the pregnancy, he may feel like he has no control over how things are going (not that I feel particularly in control either) and saying these things may be his way of trying to be more proactive and included. I try to let him know how I feel when he's getting on my nerves but also let him know when he does something that is really helpful like getting me a glass of water so I don't have to get up or not complaining about my body pillow that takes up half the bed.

BuckeyeNut05 · October 2018

Mine is mad at me because I won't go upstairs and help him with one of the girls who just started puking with the stomach flu. I am 19 weeks pregnant. I cannot afford to have the stomach flu. Wth.

bdesterhouse · October 2018

@BuckeyeNut05 I’m not gonna lie, I would have risked getting the stomach flu for my little if they were getting sick. It breaks my heart to hear my son sick throwing up. I hope your little gets better quick. Having a sick little is no fun.

maggiemadeit · October 2018

@BuckeyeNut05 I hope your girl feels better soon and you can stay germ-free.

BuckeyeNut05 · October 2018

@bdesterhouse if I had been home alone with her, 100%.

@maggiemadeit thanks, me too. I am home with her today. I am going to take her to the doctor later on because 99% of the time when she pukes, it's because she has strep throat, which is going around the school.

In the meantime, hand washing every time I touch something.

catlady2015 · October 2018

@BuckeyeNut05 - Wow. Yeah, if he was home, he 1000% should have stepped up and handled as much as possible to keep you from getting sick.

Hope it doesn't get you!!

lelkcot · October 2018

@BuckeyeNut05 hope she’s feeling better quickly and you don’t catch whatever she has!

maggiemadeit · October 2018

So I was just posting over in “my SO is an angel”... but I just have to complain. My husband makes eggs in our one good frying pan several times a week. And then leaves the pan for me to wash. Every. Damn. Time.

This is pretty small potatoes but it drives me nuts. I don’t like going to cook dinner and finding that I need to wash the damn thing both before and after dinner. Today I called him out on it and he said “sorry” and didn’t even offer to come wash it! He just sat on the couch! I swear he is so spoiled sometimes.

BuckeyeNut05 · October 2018

@maggiemadeit I empathize as I have the exact same problem. And he also spills salt all over the stove top while he's at it and doesn't evvvver wipe it up. Drives me bananas. I purposely find a way to use another pan. Or if I need it, I ask him to come clean it right then.

kristimh80 · October 2018

@maggiemadeit My husband is the worst about putting dirty dishes in the sink or next to it when the dishwasher is right there! I was just complaining about that last night. My dog had an upset stomach so we rented a carpet cleaner and his crap was in the sink so I had to clean it before could get things ready to clean. He was like "I was going to clean it when I got home".

I keep wondering if there's a training manual for this before baby is here lol

navete · October 2018

UGH same here. How do some guys (and premsumably plenty of gals too) not feel any bit of responsibility to clean up after themselves?? Drives me crazy. I’m not a clean freak by any measurement, but I’m usually aware of my own messes and feel guilty if anyone else has to clean up after me.

applesandbananas23 · October 2018

I try not to complain about my spouse because I love him a lot and it's healthier to talk to him about what's bothering me directly so he can fix it, but I have to join the clean up complaining/venting train....

I currently work part time and ever since I stopped working full time (early July) my DH hardly helps with cleaning around the house. He will occasionally, but mostly is just 'too tired.' When I complain about cleaning (which I HATE doing but I don't like living in a mess and I'm trying to make good habits before baby gets here) he pulls the 'at least you aren't working full time, too.' And I'm like sure, but I am working part time, cleaning our house and growing a human! And then he comes back to working full time to support me growing a human and its getting frustrating because I still work too! But he is an engineer and I am self employed so part of my expenses go back into my business, or my retirement fund since I don't have any matching plans, obviously.

I get it because his hours suck (6 or 630 am - 230 or 3 pm) but it also still feels unfair. In addition to regular house cleaning I've been trying to clean up the 2 spare rooms that have been a dumping ground for 'stuff we don't know what to do with' since we bought our house 4 years ago, to make room for a nursery and a usable home office for both of us. Plus we had a bad habit of only doing a load of laundry or two a week and letting all the rest hang out dirty on the laundry room floor, and I'm working on getting through that (donated 4 bags of clothes we never use last week!) I'm down to the last 2 baskets to clean and put away!

I hate doing this and it's hard and I don't have anywhere to put stuff away in the spare rooms and it's just not bothering him I guess. We have 20 weeks left and I don't want to be stuck doing this when I'm bigger and more uncomfortable! Anyway, sorry for the novel - this has been bugging me for weeks now.

kristimh80 · October 2018

@abbykwail Me too girl!! I'm in the same boat! Been getting rid of all the extra junk and can't stand a messy house. But MH is so bad about leaving a trail of crap everywhere he's been. When he's cooking he fusses at me because I'll go behind him cleaning. But I'm like, freaking pick up you crap them! The maid doesn't live here. It's so frustrating!

applesandbananas23 · October 2018

@kristimh80 yes girl!!!! When I cook I do dishes as I go so that there is nothing you have to scrub after dinner, but he just leaves them out and about, not even in the sink with soapy water! Drives me nuts!! 🙄

kristimh80 · October 2018

Well tonight MH had aggravated me. He texted he'd be late because hanging out with his work friends. That wouldn't irritate me as much if I weren't leaving town tomorrow, then right when I get back he leaves town. Every time his boss is in town, it's like he has to go out with them some, but next Tuesday he'll be with these same people out of town.

I wanna write...hello, your pregnant wife here that you won't really for a week is at home!

navete · October 2018

@kristimh80 That sounds really frustrating. Did you told him how his behavior is affecting you? I’ve read (and am experiencing it myself) that first time dads take longer to really understand and connect with their partner’s pregnancy. Their bodies aren’t going through the changes that we are, and for a long time, our bodies don’t even show the changes happening internally. I’ve had a few blow ups with MH where I expected/wanted him to be more nurturing and present for me, and he was going on with business as usual. It’s just hard for them to understand that we may need them more than usual, that we’re suddenly more vulnerable and little things may mean a lot to us. And it may be also hard for us to accept this change, especially if we’re accustomed to thinking of ourselves as strong and independent. Anyway, I hope you two were able to communicate and he understands how hurtful/frustrating his behavior could be. And hope your trip goes well!

purplepirate09 · October 2018

My husband is officially driving me nuts! He's been ridiculously moody since I've been pregnant. He takes the smallest issues and turns them into huge issues that end up in a fight. He's also being super needy and selfish. When I try to talk to him about issues he makes it about himself or he basically throws a tantrum where he leaves. I have literally cried every day this week because he's been such an a*hole!

keikilove · October 2018

@purplepirate09 I’m sorry your hubby is being so moody. That sounds really hard—those kinds of arguments are the worst. It sounds like he has his own issues going on internally, maybe related to the pregnancy, maybe not. Maybe a mediator can help you both discuss what’s going on in the relationship. Hang in there!

meggyme · October 2018

@navete @kristimh80 FWIW it took my husband until a few months after DD was born to really start enjoying fatherhood before that there wasn’t much for him to do bc I was breastfeeding and she had a strong preference for mom. Only when she started being more responsive with smiles and giggles did he start to enjoy her company. We had to have a real heart to heart when he came home at 3am the night of my due date drunk and would have been useless to me if I’d been in labor.

kristimh80 · October 2018

@navete I never said anything. He ended up coming home earlier and was exhausted. He’s a people pleaser, so believe he only went thinking he had too. But I think the next time I will definitely say something! I’m usually not overly sensitive, so was even weird for me to get to worked up in the first place.

@meggyme Oh my goodness! You poor thing! I can’t imagine that happening on your due date. But you’re right, until baby can do more than just eat and sleep...they prob feel useless. I need to remember this! lol

indigoheightsblog · October 2018

Maybe it's the hormones... or maybe DH is being a total baby tonight. He got the Flu + TDap shots (at the request of my OBGYN) about 6 hours ago. I got the flu shot two weeks ago (can't get TDap until 28 weeks). I had "dead arm" for a day and that was it..... meanwhile he is in bed curled up in a ball, mopey, saying his entire body aches.... come on dude. It's really not that bad. Sure, Maybe it's the TDap which I didn't receive, but I just find it hard to believe that at 5 ft tall I'd handle any vaccine better than a 6'3 nearly 300 pound man........ LOL!!!!

purplepirate09 · October 2018

**Update** Hubby and I had a looonnng conversation and everything seems to be smoothing over. Thank God! I told him he was about to be sleeping on the couch and removed feof my FB profile picture lol #petty

zionsmama85 · October 2018

I think it’s just fan-freakin-tastic that the love of my life likes to say that he doesn’t believe in pregnancy hormones much and that he thinks I’m just using it as an excuse sometimes to I guess be mean to him. Half the pregnancy symptoms he thinks is just make believe or exaggerated. Living the dream over here. Prime example..I had an episode where I almost passed out today and had to come home and lay down and he comes in to so called help me and tries to stuff an egg roll in my mouth. I was sleep and that’s how he wakes me up. He’s really upset about my hormones, but he does the most crap tastic stuff and wonders why I’m so annoyed all the time.

kristimh80 · October 2018

@zionsmama85 Ugh, so sorry girl...I'd be annoyed too! Men are so clueless at times about such things. I probably would have thrown that egg roll at him lol

Why my SO is a $*#%@!

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