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FFFC 10/26

keighty80keighty80 member
in May 2019 Moms
*not always flame free* 
Fire away, ladies! 


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Re: FFFC 10/26

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  • sleepy33sleepy33 member
    I am living for everyone's confessions this week
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @sleepy33 I think that's legit. And does that mean he's dragging his feet or are you picking it out?

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  • sleepy33sleepy33 member
    @kvh22 well it's complicated. He's cash-poor at the moment as he just had to drop almost $4k on car repairs, so his rainy day stash is gone. We're trying to get his house on the market ASAP, so he's focused on that. He'll have plenty of cash for a ring once he sells his house, but he doesn't want to list his house without letting his folks know what's going on. It's a Catch 22. He doesn't really intrinsically see the ring as urgent, since in his mind, it's just a symbolic thing, but he knows it's important to me. He's just having a hard time letting go of what he always envisioned, which is surprising me with a ring and a romantic proposal. 
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    My brother was a complete jacka$$ when I tried to tell him I was pregnant with DD after the NT scan at 12-13 weeks. He was "giving me the silent treatment" which I didn't even realize because we aren't that close and don't talk super frequently. It was literally the stupidest thing he's every done and over a very stupid reason. It eventually blew over when I called him out for being a jerk and he apologized for being immature 4 months later. He told us SIL was pregnant at 8 weeks a few months after DD was born but I don't think I can try to tell him I'm pregnant again so kind of want this to prove a point. The thought of telling him literally freaks me out so I'm not trying to be vindictive, but I would find it very karma-y if he didn't find out we were having this baby until after it was born, or at least way later than you'd normally tell family. Apparently my mom mentioned to him we might not be going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas which would be a first (we're across the country from all family but both our sets of parents live in the same area) and he was immediately like "wait is everything okay?" He texted me yesterday and we're catching up over the weekend and I'm 100% not telling him.

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  • missy052819missy052819 member
    @keighty80 ahhhhh I love it! 




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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @sleepy33 ahh that makes sense! Definitely a Catch 22 then. If he wants the romantic proposal, maybe you can get something simple for your other hand in the meantime? DH got interest free financing for 6 months for my engagement ring. Not super romantic to talk about stuff like that I suppose but it was nice for him to be able to spread out the payments over 6 months instead of all at once.

    @megsb615 lol even when DD was dressed in pink, people assumed she was a boy. I used bows sometimes but I get more concerned with too much pink (as gifts). I love a good tutu, though, lol. I'm much more concerned about her seeing DH and I as a team than what we dress her in. We fall into semi-traditional gender roles with chores (I cook and grocery shop, he takes out the trash) but he also does the dishes and we split the laundry.

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  • sleepy33sleepy33 member
    @kvh22 he is super-anti debt, lol, he has no credit cards at all (which he recently discovered has hurt his credit score despite his perfect bill-paying record, so maybe I should convince him to get one and put the ring on it to help his credit?!?  :D )
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  • megsb615megsb615 member
    @DuchessOfCambridge Yes, yes, yes! I bought a lot of neutral stuff too, but I also sometimes feel boy/girl specific items can be cheesy. Like, why does someone want a pepto pink high chair with butterflies and rainbows all over it? No thank you. I’ll go with grey regardless of having a boy or girl. Haha As for clothes, I’ve told Husband so many times that I’m going to enjoy dressing DS cute and babyish for now. He wants to get him jeans and boots, and I just can’t do it. Pretty soon he’ll only want to wear athletic shorts and T-shirt’s, and it’ll break my mama heart a little bit.  When they’re babies, it’s more for my enjoyment of putting them in cute baby clothes than anything. 😂 They’ll figure it out eventually, and be their own little person. 

    @kvh22 Funny you said that people still thought she was a boy even in pink because husband and I were just talking about this baby’s hair the other night! DS has a ton of thick beautiful hair like my husband does, and I told him it’s going to be unfortunate if we have a girl and she takes after me and has my baby fine/thin hair. Let’s hope thick hair is the dominant gene. 😂 But I agree with you feeling more concerned about our roles as chores. Husband grew up with the mentality that men do the outside work, and women do everything inside. Needless to say, he’s learned that’s not how things go in our house and pulls his weight inside the house too.  He can do laundry, but he doesn’t. And I hate the way he folds clothes and towels, so I just do it because I end up redoing it when he does. I figure I’ll teach him and DS how to do laundry at the same time. 😏
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @megsb615 OMG but baby boots on boys are sooo cute. Boy moms usually complain that girls get all the cute clothes but I think there's such cute options for boys, too. A plaid flannel, jeans, and boots on a 9 month old baby boy <3 DD had a thick head of red hair at birth...it didn't help people not saying "he". I think people just say "he" when they're not sure. There were definitely times where I was like "yea I dressed her gender neutral so it's kind of my fault" but it would still happen when she was dressed girly when she was an infant. I definitely don't buy the pink version of things for DD. That's moreso b/c we were planning more children so why get the pink truck/walker/high chair? Being team green helped cut down. I was really worried if we found out and were having a girl that people would get such girly things for big items we'd use for all the kids we end up having.

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  • mrsdee15mrsdee15 member
    @kvh22 DD still gets called "he," she doesn't have much hair and a lot of her stuff is gender-neutral, but even when she's in dresses she still gets it.  I guess it's the default like you said.  Also, on the little flannel shirts... I definitely put a little flannel onesie with suspenders and a bowtie on our baby list from Amazon as the coming home outfit for DS.  Little boys have adorable stuff!  
    DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, 
    then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.

    Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
    because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
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  • eatinwatermelonseedseatinwatermelonseeds member
    @mrsdee15 it's really funny because I once had to carry my son in a bright pink infant car seat, but he was wearing gender neutral clothes, lots of hair. People referred to him as "he" no problem. Put the kid in Orange as everyone and their mother calls him a girl. 
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  • lappymom2019lappymom2019 member
    @kvh22 I completely that all of the big items should definitely be gender neutral! However, I am looking forward to dressing my baby in gender specific clothing too and I have no shame about that.

    My crazy confession is that I can't wait to wear maternity clothes. I am so uncomfortable trying to smush into my existing clothes and I have read so many posts where people never buy maternity clothes and I just want to know hoooow? Maybe because I am average weight and my clothes aren't stretchy?? I don't get it. I am sitting at work with my pants unbuttoned today. Silly me. I thought I didn't need the belly band today.
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  • DuchessOfCambridgeDuchessOfCambridge member
    @megsb615 I dress DS like a tiny old man :lol: He wears a lot of soft jean-type pants (not actual jeans but they look like them and are made of soft stretchy fabric) and old man-type sweaters. He just looks so cute <3<3<3 I've only started doing that recently, before that he was in very babyish clothes and I loved it.

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  • DuchessOfCambridgeDuchessOfCambridge member
    DS is spilling Cheerios on the ground from that snack cup that's supposed to be no spill and eating them. I'm not stopping him.

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  • sleepy33sleepy33 member
    DuchessOfCambridge said:
    @megsb615 I dress DS like a tiny old man :lol: He wears a lot of soft jean-type pants (not actual jeans but they look like them and are made of soft stretchy fabric) and old man-type sweaters. He just looks so cute <3<3<3 I've only started doing that recently, before that he was in very babyish clothes and I loved it.
    Little old man baby is my favorite look
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  • bluesky24bluesky24 member
    DuchessOfCambridge said:
    DS is spilling Cheerios on the ground from that snack cup that's supposed to be no spill and eating them. I'm not stopping him.
    this is what dogs are for.
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @lappymom2019 OMG I love maternity clothes (although wish styles weren't so limited) and my prepregnancy wardrobe absolutely did not translate to maternity clothes. I did not have a lot of stretchy clothes beforehand. I wouldn't call myself curvy but I definitely have boobs and hips with a thinner waist so loose fitting clothes while not pregnant make me look 20-30lbs heavier than I am. My old tank tops at 11 weeks with the blump I have going on would make me look like homer simpson (slight exaggeration depending on the length of the shirt). I bought a lot of clothes knowing I was planning on at least 3 kids but I did try to make some of my stuff work and it was pretty much all a no-go. Since DD is only 14 months now, most of my clothes since then have been nursing or pregnancy-friendly (although not all maternity. Found this on pinterest but I've bought a few shirts to do stuff like this this time around:
     

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  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    Bust them out @lappymom2019!!  I have maternity jeans on today and it’s glorious.
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  • imrachelleaimrachellea member
    @megsb615 I was a nanny for triplets, two girls and a boy. They were two when I started. The girls had baby fine hair and barely any at all, where the boy had a thick head of hair and had to have regular hair trims. Funny how that works sometimes.....
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  • mrsdee15mrsdee15 member
    @eatinwatermelonseeds +1 vote for this little old man baby named Artie - so cute!
    DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, 
    then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.

    Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
    because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
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  • megsb615megsb615 member
    @DuchessOfCambridge Little old man baby is definitely cute. And I’m ok with soft jeans, but I feel like they’re hard to find. We actually had some from Walmart last fall that we’re so soft and had the elastic waist band, but I haven’t seen them this year. I’m prob in the minority and love applique and smocked clothes. I also fully intend on matching DS with his sibling once he/she arrives, and I’m so excited about it! Haha 

    @imrachellea Don’t tell me that!! I feel like that’s for sure how this is going to go for baby #2, especially since I haven’t been refluxy so far.  I was from day 1 with DS. 

    Here’s another FFFC (no one flame me for being shallow), but has anyone wondered, what if this baby isn’t as cute as the one(s) you already have? I’m terrible for even saying that. 🤭 Between my thin hair, and disliking my ears, I really hope this poor child doesn’t get those traits! 
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @megsb615 Haha I had not thought of that but now I am! I've been worried that a non-red headed girl wouldn't get as much attention as DD. We seriously walk down the street and I'd say 1 in 3 groups of people we pass will comment on how cute she is. I've always attributed this to her hair but I think she's insanely adorable (completely biased, though). I'm not as worried about a son since my concern is less about how cute they are as babies and more about how they'll compare themselves later on. People never compared me and my brother. My sister and I both have red hair so I have no experience with one having it and one not.

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  • megsb615megsb615 member
    @kvh22 Redheads are extremely adorable! I’m also super biased about DS, but he’s pretty adorable, so I’d feel bad if his sibling just wasn’t a cute baby/kid. That’s silly. I know. 😂
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  • sleepy33sleepy33 member
    @megsb615 I worry in general about comparisons between them in a lot of ways
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  • brie_and_almondsbrie_and_almonds member
    @kvh22 My DD2 definitely gets less attention from strangers than DD1 did based purely on her hair. DD1 had beautiful ringlet curls until her first haircut at 3.5, and practically every time we were out strangers would stop and comment on it, asking us if we curled her hair, etc (lol, yeah right, who has time to curl a three year old's hair for a trip to the grocery store?). Now they both have mostly straight hair and strangers leave us alone.
    kids with flags
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  • fatmonicafatmonica member
    I was just catching up on the uo thread and realized my FFFC is that I still have easter egg lights up on top of my kitchen cupboards. 
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @brie_and_almonds aww I love ringlets. That's so sweet <3 I can imagine she got more attention for it. Is it common for them to go away when they get a haircut?

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  • DuchessOfCambridgeDuchessOfCambridge member
    @megsb615 we get them at Carter’s! But they only go up to 24 months. 

    https://www.carters.com/carters-baby-boy-pants/V_118I508.html?cgid=carters-baby-boy-pants&dwvar_V__118I508_size=12M&dwvar_V__118I508_color=Color#navID=header&page=1&start=1&cgid=carters-baby-boy-pants

    Also I love the smocked look but we’re not in the south so people up here would be like 🤨 And honestly I expect this next baby to be an exact copy of DS but I know that’s not how siblings work 😂

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  • missmcgonnagalmissmcgonnagal member
    My Confession: I'm actually super cool with sharing all the private bodily information regarding my pregnancy (or just my life in general) with my MIL. I know it's because I have a very unique situation in that I'm a nursing student and my MIL is a doctor, and that she and I are actually friends. MIL and I go do things together just the two of us about as often as I do with my other friends. Despite all this, I still get a lot of weird looks from people when I admit that I've discussed birth control with my husband's mother.

    Deeper Confession: Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better to have my MIL in the delivery room with me rather than my DH. I'm worried I'll be too focused on how DH is doing to focus on myself, wheras with MIL there's something powerful in the feeling that birthing is a unique experience that many women share through the ages. Naturally DH wants to be there so he will be there, and having MIL (and by extension, FIL) there in the immediate aftermath would probably be too much for all of us to handle. But I think about it, sometimes. 


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