@professormama: Well, and I'm all about not going to a Halloween kegger dressed as a cultural stereotype, so hopefully no one will take these comments to imply more than we mean them to. I hope that second paragraph came off as largely tongue-in-cheek, like it was meant.
After all, don't want to tarnish our spotless, drama-free reputation in front of lurkers from other BMBs, now do we?
I took it as tongue in cheek we are remarkably drama free so far...
Also, @professormama, I can't remember if you're having a boy or girl... what style of name are you looking for? Along the lines of Ezra, there are a bunch of cool boys names I've come across in my search like: Aiden, Graham, Liam, Asher....
@mesweettea, as far as gender neutral, my first thoughts are Addison (though I see it more feminine), Logan, Alex, Ash, Casey, Emerson.
@kangstadt having a boy. we are soooooo picky. Those are all good names, which we’ve discussed and nixed! It’s so ridiculous. Aiden = sex and the city. I know a graham so that’s taken. I love Liam but it’s too popular right now. And Asher = Asher Fleming from Gilmore girls. Lol
@professormama, I feel you! I teach, so there are so many names I had to nix right away. And my DH just listens to my list and says "nope," or "that's okay..." without contributing any ideas of his own, haha.
What about Cylas/Silas, Atlas, Felix, Griffin, Sorren, or Kieran?
Besides, these concerns are bottomless. Some day the world is going to get "woke" to how bad the Irish have had it at the hands of "white men" since forever, and then God help anyone who named their kid Patrick, Bridget, or Dean back in younger or more innocent times. Or "woke" to how awful it is to actually GIVE your kid the name of an oppressive white male, like Henry (Tudor) or Andrew (Jackson).
along these same lines, am I the only one who thinks of the awful character from hannibal when I meet a little boy named mason? (if anyone read the book, mason was almost a bigger monster than hannibal)
@Bringmemylongswordho, no worries! It's always difficult to read inflection in text when you don't know someone personally. I wasn't upset, just curious.
@tmblickley, what about Noah Wyatt or Noah Grant? First random ones that came to mind, haha.
@chrissdee That's funny, I am named Madeline and my daughter is Eloise! I loved having a literature themed name growing up and Eloise already has a little Eloise at the Plaza collection started.
I have a Jack & an Eloise. No ideas for babe #3 yet.
Jack and Eloise are some of our top names for this baby.
@mesweettea I don't think of Harmony as a very hippie name, I personally think of it in the same category as Hope and Grace. I think of Harmony as a very 90s name actually.
When I say hippie I'm talking about Stardust, River, Sparrow, Moonbeam, etc. Not that any of these are on our list
@sheepshepherdess my high school’s Latin teacher had the first name Sunshine, which we all found pretty incongruous.
There’s a fairly famous/ well respected political science professor and researcher named Sunshine. She writes about voting behavior and how generally uninformed people are
Ok, I have to get back in on this conversation, although it was hard to catch up! We aren't finding out the gender until the baby is born, and I hadn't thought of how difficult it'd be to pick both a girl's and boy's name! We are set on Charlotte Elizabeth for a girl, but a boy.......SO hard! I like Noah, Wyatt, and Caleb, but none of those have nicknames that I can think of and I really like nicknames. @lyse01 and @sheepshepherdess I know both a Star and Sunshine! I love it lol.
@mesweettea I was reading through the May names thread and was reminded that Morgan is one of my favorite gender neutral names.
also read through one of the March threads (FFFC: name threads are my favorite to lurk on) and feel really strongly that everyone is giving this lady the wrong advice. Her DH wants to throw MIL’s maiden name into the mix as a middle name but she and MIL have a strained relationship. It’s not an objectionable name otherwise (presumably, or she’d have mentioned so). I really truly think that maiden names honor entire branches of the family - the grandparents and aunts and uncles and notable soldier ancestor, not just the last person in the line of descent to bear the name, and I hate that everyone is telling her that she shouldn’t have to think of her MIL every time she says her kid’s name. Clearly I don’t feel strongly enough to post this on another BMB, though, and I’m happy to have the hypothetical discussion here instead
@lyse01 I'd rather use my OWN maiden name as a kids middle name (okay, I never changed my last name, but you get the point). In fact, that's what we are doing with #2 - he will have my last name as his middle name. I also think that one spouse shouldn't be pushing a name that the other one doesn't feel entirely comfortable with. Sure, naming the kid the MILs maiden name would honor that entire branch of the family, but if she's not comfortable with it, then it's not right for the husband to push it.
@professormama and here I wouldn’t give my child (or especially all my children) my maiden name as a middle name because I think it’s too close to a hyphenated name, and if we’re going to do that, we might as well just go that route. Also, I can see it being a security risk for banks and such.
Agreed that both spouses need to be respectful of hard no’s from the other side, but I also think that in the case of family names especially, both need to hear the other person out on why it’s important.
@lyse01 I’m not even using my own middle name for one of my kids because it’s happens to be the same as my MIL. It may honor the whole branch of the family but she’s probably only going to think of her MIL and if she’s got issues with her I completely understand not wanting to use it.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@lyse01 not a security risk as long as you don't use that question as your security question! lol. I'm all for "hearing your spouse out," but I doubt that will change her feelings about the name or her MIL. I suppose I also come from the perspective of having somewhat strained relationships with my in-laws, it's one of the (many) reasons I didn't take my husband's last name. I felt like the 'last name's were a family and a family-culture that I didn't identify with and, to be honest, didn't want to be lumped-in with. We are making our own family, and it's a lot different than both his family and my family - neither one of us want to replicate exactly what we grew up in, even though there are great things about both our families. But I fully understanding not wanting to have that formal tie of a name to someone who you don't feel fully comfortable with or agree with. And I just feel so strongly that a child's name is something that both partners should just be in LOVE with. Of course, this is one reason why we still don't have a name for #2, and we aren't anywhere close to finding one. We are looking till we find something that feels completely right and perfect for our family.
@professormama I was super adamant the we choose a name together when I was pregnant with DD. At one point DH was like I don’t care anymore you pick it. I told him if he didn’t help me pick I would name her Bunny. Which with our last name would be super hilarious and a tiny bit mean. He thought I was joking but I didn’t budge for about a week till he eventually gave in to working on it together. I still think Bunny is adorable as a nickname but I couldn’t find an actual name I liked that it would work for. Lol.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@thatbaintforbetty My mom was in labor with me for 5 days, and the 6th day would have been Easter. She threatened to name me Bunny if I didn't come out before Easter! Luckily I was born a few hours shy of the deadline.
@rennie1108 Yeah, when I asked her how long her labor was she just said "You don't wanna know." They should have induced her or done the C-section earlier, I think they thought it was false labor (but she was already a week late, so they should have known?). The nice thing is with my younger sister her labor was 12 hrs and she had a VBAC (though she only ever got to 7cm, OW).
@professormama good point that the security question options have drastically expanded in the past two decades. And thank goodness, because I can’t decide what my favorite color is, so I’d never remember the answer to most of the favorites.
i guess I’m coming from a perspective of calling my relationship with MIL somewhat strained but would never dismiss her maiden name as an option outright. If I really hated it, I’d have to come up with a plausible story about the flow, or repeated sounds, or weird initials, or just really liking the other option better, or something that wouldn’t make DH feel like it’s an attack on his family. They are, after all, the ones who shaped a lot of his perspectives on things, and I love him, so they can’t be all bad. (Besides, I love a lot of his family.) And he would 100% hold a grudge about it, so it’s a relationship-preserving thing.
i also come from the perspective of having my grandmother’s maiden name as my middle name and never once associating it solely with her. It’s the entire family, the genetic traits of beanpole men and big-boobed women, the values of education, musicality, and volunteer service, the importance of God and family.
Perhaps I’m reacting strongly to what I perceive as a complete dismissal of OP’s DH’s feelings on the matter. You and @thatbaintforbetty are right that it needs to be a mutual decision that both partners like or preferably love, and I can see a middle lane that allows the DH to feel like it was considered but ultimately not the LOVE name. The vibe I got was that she should go straight for the hard no instead.
@sheepshepherdess I was in labor for 4 days. It was contractions regularly (4-8min apart pending day/time) and it felt like no one (aside from the doula and my hubby) really believed me that it was actual labor the whole time.
We got through it and had. Vbirth and she had a bruised and blistered head from being stuck against my pelvis and not my cervix for the first 3 days. Whoops.
@lyse01 I guess I can see that I might feel differently if my DH and his mom had a great relationship or she had more significance to him. And there was a real in depth reason he wanted to use it, I still think I’d say no but would be more diplomatic about it.
My MIL doesn’t even like DH (and hates me) so it’s colors my opinion of the whole thing a bit.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Ooh, thanks for the gender-neutral names everyone! (@kangstadt@tmblickley@blueberrymomma@lyse01) I am TERRIBLE at naming things -- I think I've pretty much had other people name all of my projects, pets, everything. We're not planning to find out the sex, so we're just gonna pick one name that can go both ways. That said, we have a plan for this child right now (definitely wasn't me who came up with it -- see previous comment) but I'd love to have some things to bring to the table if we renegotiate or for the next one. Definitely going to hang on to: Casey, Emerson, Riley, Reagan, Reese, Cameron, Taylor @professormama Maybe Leo instead of Liam? But it looks like that's kinda popular right now, too.
@lyse01 coming from someone with a narcissistic MIL I wouldn’t want to use a name she would associate with herself. This is because she would announce my child to everyone as being named after HER and I wouldn’t want to give her and ammunition to make my pragncies and children about herself. For example whenever I'm pregnant she introduces me as the DIL carrying her grandchild (doesn’t use my name) and asks me “how her baby is doing?” What I’m trying to say it without knowing the OPs relationship with her mil no one really can understand her feelings. As for using maiden names as middles names, if this child is a boy I want to use mine as a middle name. DS already has DHs and FILs middle name as his middle name and SIL stole my other boy middle name. And since my dad only has girls I thought it’d be nice to include my familys name
ok - I'm putting our baby name out there. We'll see if it stays the same on baby's birthday. Since I'm AMA, we found out the baby's gender with the genetic blood test. We're having a boy.
Augustine Aloysius
For a little background we are both Catholic and try to practice. We're both mostly of Irish decent. The first and middle names are both middle names from my husband's great grandfathers. Augustine is also the middle name of my husband's friend who passed away recently. St. Aloysius Gonzaga was my parents' parish when they were first married. Also thanks to Google, I found out Augustine Aloysius are James Joyce's middle names. We're thinking Auggie or Gus as an everyday nickname.
We're worried it's a bit pretentious, but I'm surprised how quickly we came together on this name idea and that it's sticking around.
@jenbarrdoc I prefer Augustus to Augustine but I think that’s because the latter feels more religious and well I’m not at all. Since you are it’s fine, plus it has a meaningful inclusion. I love Auggie or Gus. I have no idea how you pronounce that middle but i feel that’s sort of what the middle name is for, whatever is meaningful or odd or didn’t make the cut for first or whoever you have left you want to honor and couldn’t already or whatever you happen to feel sounds right.
The only issue is that I hope your last name doesn’t also start with A or there might be some insurance jokes.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@jenbarrdoc:. Auggie and Gus are both so cute! Also, as far as I can tell, all old names that once might have sounded fuddy-duddy or pretentious are now cool.
We aren't having a boy, but DH and I LOVE Aloysius. Catholic nerd moment: have you ever read Brideshead Revisited? It's my favorite book (awesome miniseries with Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews, too) and the main character in it (a grown adult) has a teddy bear named Aloysius that he carries everywhere, lol. The bear is named for the author's parish in Oxford, which was also where Tolkien attended mass. End Catholic nerd moment!
@TheSouffleGirl I do love Evelyn Waugh! (Side note: Evelyn is such a popular girls name now.) I remember watching the miniseries on Bravo back when Bravo played miniseries, operas, and ballet, but I haven't seen it in so long. I'll have to hunt it down.
If you name your baby Aloysius, what nickname are you thinking?
@jenbarrdoc: Awesome! I see you are up on all your Aloysiuses.
We're actually having a girl, but if we were having a boy I think we might make it a middle name as DH is stuck on a family name as the first name. But I dunno... Al? Lossie? Issue? Nope. Seems insurmountable.
@jenbarrdoc Evelyn is super popular now! It sounds great with DDs name, Lillian and it’s my Mother’s Middle name and great grandmothers name, but I don’t know if I want another popular name
What do you guys think of the name Van for a boy? First I was thinking Jake but I’m not sure about Jacob. Others on my list are Carter, Ryan, Gabe, Travis. Last name is 3 syllables.
I hope eventually I get to name a girl! I liked Amy, Ellen, Amber, and Paige
@rache1990, I've seen Vann and Vaughn, I like Vaughn personally more but totally personal preference.
I've never heard of Jake as a nickname for John, but then again, Dick is a nickname for Richard, so anything goes! Seems odd to have a four letter nickname for a four letter name but that's just me.
Re: Favorite Names Thread
we are remarkably drama free so far...
Also, @professormama, I can't remember if you're having a boy or girl... what style of name are you looking for? Along the lines of Ezra, there are a bunch of cool boys names I've come across in my search like: Aiden, Graham, Liam, Asher....
@mesweettea, as far as gender neutral, my first thoughts are Addison (though I see it more feminine), Logan, Alex, Ash, Casey, Emerson.
What about Cylas/Silas, Atlas, Felix, Griffin, Sorren, or Kieran?
I think Noah is currently the frontrunner for our son, but I'm struggling with a middle name.
For girls, we are looking at
Alma
Nadine
Vera
boys
Leander
Graham
Elias
@midway_mouse I love Nadine and Leander
@tmblickley, what about Noah Wyatt or Noah Grant? First random ones that came to mind, haha.
When I say hippie I'm talking about Stardust, River, Sparrow, Moonbeam, etc. Not that any of these are on our list
@lyse01 and @sheepshepherdess I know both a Star and Sunshine! I love it lol.
also read through one of the March threads (FFFC: name threads are my favorite to lurk on) and feel really strongly that everyone is giving this lady the wrong advice. Her DH wants to throw MIL’s maiden name into the mix as a middle name but she and MIL have a strained relationship. It’s not an objectionable name otherwise (presumably, or she’d have mentioned so). I really truly think that maiden names honor entire branches of the family - the grandparents and aunts and uncles and notable soldier ancestor, not just the last person in the line of descent to bear the name, and I hate that everyone is telling her that she shouldn’t have to think of her MIL every time she says her kid’s name. Clearly I don’t feel strongly enough to post this on another BMB, though, and I’m happy to have the hypothetical discussion here instead
Agreed that both spouses need to be respectful of hard no’s from the other side, but I also think that in the case of family names especially, both need to hear the other person out on why it’s important.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@professormama good point that the security question options have drastically expanded in the past two decades. And thank goodness, because I can’t decide what my favorite color is, so I’d never remember the answer to most of the favorites.
i guess I’m coming from a perspective of calling my relationship with MIL somewhat strained but would never dismiss her maiden name as an option outright. If I really hated it, I’d have to come up with a plausible story about the flow, or repeated sounds, or weird initials, or just really liking the other option better, or something that wouldn’t make DH feel like it’s an attack on his family. They are, after all, the ones who shaped a lot of his perspectives on things, and I love him, so they can’t be all bad. (Besides, I love a lot of his family.) And he would 100% hold a grudge about it, so it’s a relationship-preserving thing.
i also come from the perspective of having my grandmother’s maiden name as my middle name and never once associating it solely with her. It’s the entire family, the genetic traits of beanpole men and big-boobed women, the values of education, musicality, and volunteer service, the importance of God and family.
Perhaps I’m reacting strongly to what I perceive as a complete dismissal of OP’s DH’s feelings on the matter. You and @thatbaintforbetty are right that it needs to be a mutual decision that both partners like or preferably love, and I can see a middle lane that allows the DH to feel like it was considered but ultimately not the LOVE name. The vibe I got was that she should go straight for the hard no instead.
We got through it and had. Vbirth and she had a bruised and blistered head from being stuck against my pelvis and not my cervix for the first 3 days. Whoops.
My MIL doesn’t even like DH (and hates me) so it’s colors my opinion of the whole thing a bit.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
I am TERRIBLE at naming things -- I think I've pretty much had other people name all of my projects, pets, everything. We're not planning to find out the sex, so we're just gonna pick one name that can go both ways. That said, we have a plan for this child right now (definitely wasn't me who came up with it -- see previous comment) but I'd love to have some things to bring to the table if we renegotiate or for the next one. Definitely going to hang on to: Casey, Emerson, Riley, Reagan, Reese, Cameron, Taylor
@professormama Maybe Leo instead of Liam? But it looks like that's kinda popular right now, too.
pregnant she introduces me as the DIL carrying her grandchild (doesn’t use my name) and asks me “how her baby is doing?” What I’m trying to say it without knowing the OPs relationship with her mil no one really can understand her feelings.
As for using maiden names as middles names, if this child is a boy I want to use mine as a middle name. DS already has DHs and FILs middle name as his middle name and SIL stole my other boy middle name. And since my dad only has girls I thought it’d be nice to include my familys name
Augustine Aloysius
For a little background we are both Catholic and try to practice. We're both mostly of Irish decent. The first and middle names are both middle names from my husband's great grandfathers. Augustine is also the middle name of my husband's friend who passed away recently. St. Aloysius Gonzaga was my parents' parish when they were first married. Also thanks to Google, I found out Augustine Aloysius are James Joyce's middle names. We're thinking Auggie or Gus as an everyday nickname.
We're worried it's a bit pretentious, but I'm surprised how quickly we came together on this name idea and that it's sticking around.
The only issue is that I hope your last name doesn’t also start with A or there might be some insurance jokes.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
We aren't having a boy, but DH and I LOVE Aloysius. Catholic nerd moment: have you ever read Brideshead Revisited? It's my favorite book (awesome miniseries with Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews, too) and the main character in it (a grown adult) has a teddy bear named Aloysius that he carries everywhere, lol. The bear is named for the author's parish in Oxford, which was also where Tolkien attended mass. End Catholic nerd moment!
@TheSouffleGirl I do love Evelyn Waugh! (Side note: Evelyn is such a popular girls name now.) I remember watching the miniseries on Bravo back when Bravo played miniseries, operas, and ballet, but I haven't seen it in so long. I'll have to hunt it down.
If you name your baby Aloysius, what nickname are you thinking?
We're actually having a girl, but if we were having a boy I think we might make it a middle name as DH is stuck on a family name as the first name. But I dunno... Al? Lossie? Issue? Nope. Seems insurmountable.
I hope eventually I get to name a girl! I liked Amy, Ellen, Amber, and Paige
I've never heard of Jake as a nickname for John, but then again, Dick is a nickname for Richard, so anything goes! Seems odd to have a four letter nickname for a four letter name but that's just me.