Monday Bitch Fest 10/22

keighty80 · October 2018

Alright, let's hear 'em!

Image: https://31.media.tumblr.com/aec7b1633041072420c159209d3d1794/tumblr_mqqq1cJcvb1qgs9ujo1_500.gif

zuuls_mom · October 2018

I need to bitch about my husband. He is the absolute most frustrating when it comes to naming a child. Shoots down every name I suggest and never suggests one of his own. It was SO hard to name DS and I have no idea how we even figured one out and I am so stressed out thinking about naming another boy! Why does he suck so much?

keighty80 · October 2018

@zuuls_mom uggh I totally get that! My fiance keeps shooting down the names I like (vintage, classic names) and keeps giving me crap like Tanya or Shawn (sorry if those are anyone's name or name choice). Dude is stuck in the 80's/90's with his name choices. I can't handle it.

kvh22 · October 2018

@zuuls_mom OMG DH was so bad at this. We didn't really talk about it until late second trimester with DD and we were team green. We made separate lists and put them both in a google doc to compare. Would that maybe work for you guys? There's also no rush so you could give him a month to come up with some names he likes and then compare? We had no overlap but he had things like Xerxes, Zeus, and other names from mythology as well as Francis (for a boy or girl). Basically no girl names and I literally looked at him and asked if these were a joke and he just doesn't want to pick a name. He said he was serious. I asked him why he wanted our child to get beat up. I'm sorry YH is being so frustrating!

We did eventually get a really good list going and each got to veto as many as we wanted. He was really good about not vetoing all of my names just so we picked his and understood I didn't like his. He has a very "average" name (which I like) and has always hated it.

megsb615 · October 2018

I was talking to my coworker friend today (she knows about baby #2), and she goes, “I wonder when people in the office will start noticing. I would’ve noticed by now had you not told me. I can already see it in your face.” Um, excuse me, what?

megsb615 · October 2018

@zuuls_mom That’s so frustrating. Husband is just no help with helping me come up with anything, but I guess that’s better than coming up with bad suggestions. 🤷🏼‍♀️

zuuls_mom · October 2018

@kvh22 he'd actually have to come up with a single suggestion for that to work! lol He just doesn't even try. I think that's what frustrates me the most. We got in so many arguments last time. I don't want that to happen this time too. I'm hoping if I keep saying how stressful it was last time, he will get his shit together.

zuuls_mom · October 2018

@megsb615 oh helllll no!

parks and recreation donna GIF

eatinwatermelonseeds · October 2018

@megsb615 who says shit like that?

megsb615 · October 2018

@zuuls_mom @eatinwatermelonseeds I know, right? Like, thank you. That’s just the pick me up I needed today. I’m still salty about it. 😂

bluesky24 · October 2018

@megsb615 Ummmm, no. Why do people say shit like that?! Seriously. You should just say "same to you!" next time lol

@zuuls_mom my DH was impossible with names. He has so many arbitrary rules. No androgynous names. No names that start with a vowel (????) We had so much trouble last time, I can only imagine this time around. Luckily you do have plenty of time.

You guys...I had such a stressful, emotional weekend. Without going into too much detail, earlier this year, my DH found his real biological father (he didn't know he didn't already know his biological father...if you know what I mean). And since then we've been trying to figure out where this other family belongs in our lives. Now all they want to do is "make up for lost time." They were here this weekend, and I couldn't stand it. We told them about the baby, and they went and told literally everyone they know. I haven't even let my parents tell their best friends yet. I just felt so violated and vulnerable, that these strangers were coming into our lives and trying to take ownership of us (when we didn't ask for any of it.) Before I got pregnant, I was OK with building a relationship, as long as my husband was. But DNA aside, they are still essentially strangers, they are way too attached to us, and I am having such a visceral reaction to having a relationship with them. This is MY family and MY life, not theirs.

Sorry for the textbook. I've been wanting to vent all weekend (and I did, in tears, last night to DH who is so understanding and wonderful, but this is still hard for him...)

Thank goodness they live far away. They think we are celebrating Xmas with them (we don't even celebrate Xmas!!!) but I am bailing SO FAST.

eatinwatermelonseeds · October 2018

@zuuls_mom we have a hard time too. I literally went through 2000 names and we agree on 1 😂

We have a LOT of rules though. Can't start with a J, can't start with an R, can't start with a C, can't end in -oy, can't be androgenous, can't be super you-nique, can't be spelled wrong to be unique, middle name has to be a family name. Can't remind us of someone we know.

This kid will be nameless.

brie_and_almonds · October 2018

@megsb615 seriously rude.

My BFM complaint is that my "pregnancy glow" is taking its sweet time showing up. My chin is trying to tell me something, and it's trying to communicate in braille 😭

DressageDarling · October 2018

@bluesky24 I kind of understand that feeling. I’m adopted and found my biological mother when I was 19. Her family immediately tried to become way too involved in my life and she would get upset if I couldn’t get together with her. To me, I already had parents and a family, so it was extremely overwhelming. Hugs to you, it’s such a hard thing to navigate.

eatinwatermelonseeds · October 2018

@bluesky24 I'm sorry. I found my father years ago and he wanted nothing to do with me. Only his sister believed I was his, everyone else just believed him when he said I wasn't. I never considered what it'd be like if they all accepted me like that. His sister can be a bit much, so imagine all of them? Oh dear. I'm sorry. Hopefully they ease up a bit.

keighty80 · October 2018

megsb615 said:

I was talking to my coworker friend today (she knows about baby #2), and she goes, “I wonder when people in the office will start noticing. I would’ve noticed by now had you not told me. I can already see it in your face.” Um, excuse me, what?

WTF.

eatinwatermelonseeds · October 2018

@megsb615 I keep reading that back and I think I would've been like "that's funny, I thought I was carrying the baby in my uterus 🤔"

bluesky24 · October 2018

@DressageDarling @eatinwatermelonseeds thank you for your kind words and for sharing your stories. It's comforting to know we are not alone in these messed up family dynamics, though I'm sorry you've had to deal with this kind of thing, too...

With this revelation, it's been a bit of a traumatic year for us. I'm usually far less emotional but obviously -- hello hormones, that's different now. I'm just so entirely overwhelmed by them and not interested in accepting a whole new family (who is SO different than us) into our lives. Navigating our existing families is more than enough. Like, DH's dad's wife is talking about the future when our kids will want to spend summers with them and the thought of that literally makes my skin crawl. I need to get over it - obviously this is light-years away, but this is all feeling very fresh and raw.

Anyway, I'm just glad they are gone. Time to bitch about things that are far less important like the fact that I don't have anything to make for dinner tonight and I hate cooking dinner, can I just say!!!

megsb615 · October 2018

@bluesky24 That sounds so hard. At least they’re gone for now, and hopefully with time, they’ll ease up a little bit. That has to be a lot to take in. Also, for the life of me, I will never understand why someone (especially family, who you would think would understand) feels it is their place to share news that isn’t theirs. That’s so frustrating to me!

@keighty80 I will say we talk about pretty much everything, but that was too far for me haha

@eatinwatermelonseeds I KNOW! I realize I’ve gained a few pounds, but from the looks of my belly, I’m pretty sure they haven’t all gone straight to my face. 😒

psychobutthead · October 2018

megsb615 That is so rude. I'd be so pissed off at that coworker.

bluesky24 Have you talked to your DH about it? Maybe hes feeling the same way?

imrachellea · October 2018

@zuuls_mom When I finally told DH how stressed I was not having a name for DD2 I started crying, so he felt bad. He ended up caving on the name that had been my first choice for DD1 that he'd vetoed the first time around. Now it totally suits her, so his stubbornness ended up working in my favor 😆

RoseShadow873 · October 2018

The company that I rent from likes to ignore me when I ask them for help. The lady that I have to contact has been ignoring me for well over a week about getting pest control to come for mice and about trying to pay our water bill and sewer bill. We haven't been able to pay these utilities since we moved in months ago, because they wouldn't let us put it in our names and expect us to pay through them even though they didn't ever put the bills up for us. I don't know why I have to beg this slacker lady to let us pay our bills.

nonlinear_function · October 2018

Ugh. I had my first OB appointment today, and that are trying to move my date back EIGHT DAYS (from 5/23 to 5/31). Supposedly, the last ultrasound they got from my fertility place was measuring 7 weeks 4 days, and they want to go off of that rather than my last period. But I had IUI, so I know the date of conception, certainly not 8 days later. Now that I am thinking about it, I think they are looking at a previous ultrasound, since I believe I remember the NP saying the baby was measuring exactly 8+5 at my last appointment there, last Tuesday. Ugh, if they are wrong, what do I do about it, if anything? I know due dates aren't written in stone, but I don't want to be a week late for all the testing and anatomy scan.

mrskoz428 · October 2018

@liliumstargazer13 I totally get that! Based on date of conception, I’m due May 5th or May 7th. I know this for a fact because we only did the deed twice in August due to moving and a really long menstraul period early that month. They refuse to listen to me and are going with the first day of my LMP, which puts me at May 10th. It’s not a big difference, but it is frustrating since baby is measure at the May 7th date. I’d say something and make sure they HEAR it. If you know, you know and that’s hard to argue with.

pumpkin_belly · October 2018

@liliumstargazer13 get a copy of your scan from the fertility doctor and then make sure that your OB has the correct scan. Then ask them to update the information and just keep pushing until it gets figured out! And so much good luck to you for getting it sorted out! That sounds really frustrating ☹️.

expandcontract · October 2018

@bluesky24 Wow, that's an intense situation! Im a very private person and that kind of behavior would freak the hell out of me. Im sorry you're experiencing and I'm sorry i don't have any advice for you.

@megsb615 same thing happened to me last Friday. A good friend/coworker knows Im preggo. Friday, she went on and on about how she can totally tell Im pregnant and how everyone else must know because my face is full. I kept trying to explain to her that it's actually "moonface" and it's from steroids. She wouldn't believe me. Kept saying, "no no no, this is all pregnancy" Excuuuuuse me, I love you, but you've actually only known me a year and trust me this is moonface. And another friend of mine keeps insisting Im having twins.
Sometimes, even friends can be so annoying.

megsb615 · October 2018

@expandcontract I absolutely agree. She’s about 10 years older than I am, and we’re pretty different when it comes to certain things, but we’re fairly close for work friends (known her a little over 5 years now). She probably thought nothing of it, but it’s like, did you really think that’s something I’d want to hear? Some people should really think before they talk. Especially when they want to insist on something that you know otherwise on. 🙄

brie_and_almonds · October 2018

@mrskoz428 it's better for them to think your due date is later rather than earlier anyway, so that you have more time to go into labor on your own before being induced. I know my OB will only let you go a week past your due date before induction, but some others will do two weeks.

bluesky24 · October 2018

@psychobutthead @expandcontract thanks for the shout out. I have talked to DH, he feels a lot of the same way I do and he respects my wishes for us to pull back a little. That said, he feels like the DNA he shares with this stranger compels him to have a relationship with him. I get it. It's been a huge shock to him and a lot to come to terms with, and he's trying to make the best of it. We're on the same page which is nice.

I know this is Monday's bitchfest but can I just say - I am beyond tired today despite getting eight hours of sleep?! Anyone else? I feel like a walking zombie.

missy052819 · October 2018

@bluesky24 I was ready to take a nap an hour ago haha

bluesky24 · October 2018

@missy052819 yes!!!!! I feel rested for about 30 minutes in the morning and that's it literally all day. So sad.

mcewen3 · October 2018

@bluesky24 every day for the last week. I was exhausted before, but this past week has been by far the worst. As soon as my 5 year old got on the bus yesterday morning I lay down on the couch and napped while the 3 y/o played and climbed all over me (this was honestly only an hour-ish after I woke up for the day). Lucky for me she is really great at independent play so she made up games while I lay there dozing, but seriously. I'm a terrible parent right now. DH is home today so I'm napping as much as I possibly can and going to bed early because I'm back on full parenting duty tomorrow, plus I have to volunteer at school twice this week so I have to have things kind of together.

bluesky24 · October 2018

@mcewen3 ummm you are not a terrible parent! Let me list the reasons why just from the evidence in your post:
- You successfully got your 5 year old dressed, presumably fed, out of the house and on the bus this morning - win
- You raised a 3 year old to be a good independent player - HUGE win
- You volunteer at school - win
- You are growing a human - MAJOR HUGE WIN

But I understand. I picked up DD after work yesterday, brought her home and let her watch Little Baby Bum on YouTube for an hour. We just gotta do what we gotta do right now...

megsb615 · October 2018

@bluesky24 Little Baby Bum is seriously my saving grace. We watch it way more than I care to admit.

mrskoz428 · October 2018

***CAUTION: I’M GOING TO SWEAR A LOT!***

I realize it’s not Monday anymore but I swear to God, if my mother in law gives me one more Web-MD fucking diagnosis she thinks I have, I’m going to explode! She just suggested that I have a plenty aburption. Uh, nope, I don’t. Never even gave you any indication that that was even possible! Lady, there is a reason I’m not telling you things. You can’t keep your mouth shut! You are quickly getting yourself cut out of this pregnancy altogether. Just enjoy the good shit and let me and DH worry about the other shit. We’ll share if we want to.🤬🤬🤬 End Rant...maybe.

Edited to add strong language warning!

missy052819 · October 2018

@mrskoz428 yikes! Just yikes!

kvh22 · October 2018

@mrskoz428 OMG that would drive me nuts. Can you have YH talk to her? DH has had to step in a few times in the 13 years we've been together.

mrskoz428 · October 2018

@kvh22 DH let it slip that I had a complication (my SCH) and now she’s diagnosing me. I told him after she told her friends about my pregnancy without my permission that she doesn’t get to know about stuff. Well, he felt guilty and let it slip. Ugh! Hopefully this doesn’t happen again.

megsb615 · October 2018

@mrskoz428 That’s so aggravating. My MIL is the same and very much a know it all (at least yours tries to use webmd and not her parenting experience from 30+ years ago 😂). I assume their intention is to be helpful, and they just don’t understand that it’s not usually very helpful. I agree with @kvh22. Maybe see if your husband could bring it up to her. We also hardly tell my MIL anything we wouldn’t want everyone to know, and that’s been working for us the past few years. Good luck!

mrskoz428 · October 2018

@megsb615 😂😂 Actually, one diagnosis she gave me (placenta aburption) was from her first pregnancy 28 years ago. Those don’t typically happen until 3rd trimester.

megsb615 · October 2018

@mrskoz428 That doesn’t surprise me at all! 🤣

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