@KLS123 I’m thinking the same thing! No traditional holiday card and instead do a “new year, new baby” type announcement. Saves lots of time and money for sure!
Thanks tosh24 and @DLpanda08 . Yea I was actually thinking about you @tosh24 as I know you have major family challenges too and have managed to be an adult about recognizing their limitations.
It def complicates my relationship with my parents. I tend to rely on them less because I know she needs them more. My mom asked what big thing they could buy us for baby recently and I realized we'd already bought everything ourselves except the crib which 2 of our couple friends split and bought. She is throwing me the shower in NYC which is expensive so I thought of that as my gift. But they do make a ton more money than us and offered so then I said some storage stuff from Ikea. Now it becomes an Ikea trip they have to do for/with us that is stressing everyone out.
@greenhillgirl IKEA does deliver! We ordered a dresser online and paid $39 for delivery. It worked great! We even were able to select a Saturday time. 100% worth the delivery charge. Plus ordering online so you don’t have to deal with the madness of ikea is so great.
Anyone have their shower or sprinkle this past weekend? Mine is still 4 weeks away but i'm shocked at how most of our big needed items are already purchased! How amazing and generous. Im soooo relieved not to have to worry about it.
We had a small one this weekend with friends out of state -- it was super sweet and so fun! My first baby shower for me -- a lot more enjoyable than a wedding shower, IMO
Mine was Saturday! It was adorable and a ton of fun. However, unlike @ersh1010, we didn’t get any of the big stuff we need. I don’t mean to be ungrateful because I’m thankful for what we did get and it was very thoughtful, but we have a ton of shopping to do! Thank goodness for completion discounts! We now have three hand knit blankets and two hand quilted blankets, most likely maybe one of which will actually get used.
My favorite part was the craft they did- my mom and sister hired an artist to come in and help everyone make pieces to hang on a mobile for the baby. There are still a bunch of pieces that I can hang on it at home that didn’t make it on during the shower, so I’ll take some time to put that together at home soon. Pics in the spoiler from before all the guests showed up!
@mrsmang what an awesome idea re the mobile! I've never heard of anything like that. I get what you mean about the big stuff, it's a bit anxiety provoking for people who like to plan (me!) to have to wait until the shower and then still have stuff to do!
As STM I wasn't expecting a shower. But this weekend a bunch of the ladies from church told me they are going to throw me a shower. We've already set the date for Nov. 11. Crazy to think my shower is in 3 weeks. Now I've got to find a dress!
What time are you all (or did you, if it already happened) arriving at your shower? Ours is a 3hour brunch at a restaurant starting at 12pm, and its not a surprise -- obviously. Wife thinks we get there around 11:45am. Are we, as the guests of honor, supposed to arrive after the bulk of the guests arrive? I didn't have a bridal shower so I'm not sure, and I haven't been to a baby shower in about a million years.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone) IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear! IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
ersh1010 that's so great! My shower was on Saturday and my mom came up to throw it from out of state. We had it at a restaurant that had an unlimited drinks brunch and when we walked in at first we both almost died. It was wall to wall people, an insanely crowded bar, and they didn't have our table for 14 ready so we had to stand and wait with the guests who arrived early, plus the music was so loud. It was just like a club. Dinner there before had NOT been like that.I took one look at my friend's mom in her 60's standing in the middle waiting to sit and wanted to disappear.
But we finally got seated and once everyone (but me) got some drinks in them people were happy. At one point they finally turned the music down. The drinks and food were great and towards the end of dad and husband dropped by with the cake. I loved having my family meet my friends. It was a success!
We didn't put many big items on our registry but I've been shocked how many people got multiple gifts and am just generally extremely excited about all the packages arriving. Someone bought our $60 crib mattress from Amazon and another person bought our boppy lounger. We got all of our bath stuff. People were very generous- and very last minute. I keep yelling it's like Christmas for Ada but she's not even born yet! when I open them joyfully.
One interesting thing- no one got any breast related stuff- my breast friend pillow, different types of bottles, milk freezer bags, manual pump, etc. I figured one of my friends would be into the boobs theme but not takers. Still, glad for the completion discount.
@greenhillgirl I am sorry you are dealing with that situation with your sister.
I have a situation that reminds me of it, not with a sister with MH issues, but with a friend (who might as well be my sister) who for various reasons has pretty much completely ignored this pregnancy for me. I'm not even clear on as to why. I know the background is different than yours is but its leaving me feeling alone and completely frustrated. I am choosing to put it aside, knowing I can't control how she acts and reacts to things, and focusing on the people who ARE there for me in this exciting time. It's incredibly difficult because I feel like my heart is breaking for this situation that I have no control over, but letting go of the idea that I could change the outcome on my own is helpful. I keep telling myself that, and that it's better for the lil baby in my belly for me to focus on the good instead of the less good.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone) IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear! IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
My shower was Saturday and it was absolutely perfect. My mom and sisters-in-law hosted and did a storybook theme where all the food and games related to my favorite children’s books. My best friend even flew in from North Carolina to attend! Philomena is so loved already and I seriously can’t wait until she gets here!
We got a good mix of things. Lots of clothes, but also a great infant first aid kit and breast milk storage system with extra bottles. We also got some beautiful handmade items and enough cash to get our travel system. It’s really just diapers, sheets, and bath towels that we need now.
married 7.11.09
Me: 31 DH: 36
DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016 BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
Not to rain on the good vibes parade here, just a quick baby shower vent. I ended up cutting my own guest list basically in half after my mom walked back on the number of people she wanted me to invite to make room for her own friends/my H's entire extended family (all of whom declined as predicted but that's a vent for another day...). One of my old coworkers that was thrown on the "cut" list is a super talented cookie decorator and runs a side business. I've had her make cookies for all of my sister's showers and they're always beautiful. Yesterday my mom called to ask for her contact info to ask her to make cookies for my shower. Ummmmm I'm not gonna be like "hey girl you're not actually invited to this party but can you drop off cookies? kthnx". Find your own darn cookie lady! lol
We are due January 10th and our shower is November 18th! We are doing a BABY it's cold outside theme and I am so excited! I love planning big parties so I'm helping my mom throw this for us! Hopefully it stays coldish!!!
@rooonilwaazlib I will probably arrive a little later than when it starts. I'm in the camp of guests of honor arrive after most people? But also totally on a whim here, no etiquette that I'm following.
I cannot find something to wear for the life of me! I want to pair baby shower dress with maternity photoshoot dress (because who wants to pay $100+ for something they will wear ONE time?), but they're either too formal or not formal enough, too expensive or too cheap. Why am I so difficult? Does anyone have any reliable online maternity boutiques? We're having the shower 11/24, so I have time to order online & return if needed. Just want at least some semi-guaranteed quality, and online boutiques are so hit or miss these days.
@rooonilwaazlib I personally like to arrive early so I make sure I am there to greet every guest as they arrive. Makes it a lot less stressful to try and circulate around the room and make sure you hit up everyone throughout the event when you know you have at least put in the individual face time at the very beginning as they walked in the door. That is also very common and expected where I am from (maybe it's a southern thing?) so I don't think I have ever been to a shower where the guest(s) of honor aren't already there greeting by the time I got there.
@kaf1788 that is RIDICULOUS! My MIL wanted to cap the # for the party but also wanted to add no less than 10 of her own friends whom I have literally not ever met or met once. I said as kindly as possible that I refuse to sacrifice celebrating this baby with people who are actually in my life just because she and her friends all go to each other's family showers, etc. The # for the invite list was 75 but we're going to have 16 present. Guess who doesn't care, because guess whose party would've been the preferred # of guests if MIL didn't have all these random ppl coming!?
@kianarain that was the situation I was in too. I wanted something that could do double duty but couldn't find anything I loved. I got two nice sweater dresses from Pink Blush Maternity and I'll wear one of them.
Also, re: arriving at showers a bit late is what I thought might be the norm, because I often see pictures of the guest of honor walking in and who would've taken those pics if not for the guests standing around. I'm on the fence and I think I'll give myself a window of 11:45-12:15 and see how it goes the day of. But also I like @KLS123 's logic of making sure you can greet all the people in an orderly fashion. It reminds me of my wedding where we said hello to all the family and adult/parent-friend tables as people ate salads so we could party on with our friends the rest of the night.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone) IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear! IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
@kianarain I got one of the maxi dresses from pinkblush and I love it! It's the perfect level of fancy for my needs for both my baby shower and newborn photos (because let's be honest I'm still gonna be wearing maternity clothes at that point...)
I wanted to post an update on my shower dresses because I feel like I have tried on every possible style of maternity dress and I am finally happy with my choices. I'm 5'6" and 135 pre-pregnancy, about 150 now at 30 weeks. My chest is on the small size (still 34A) but I have a big booty / hips, and I have found wrap style dresses to be the most flattering. I was not super comfortable wearing bodycon maternity dresses but I also do not want to feel like I'm wearing a tent. These are my final decisions:
This is from Amazon (I was a bit worried about the quality of the fabric) but it is really nice and flows nicely. It could be an inch longer but I think it looks fine with flats. There is nothing 'maternity' about this and should be able to be worn post-baby. I got a size small. https://a.co/d/03SsH9S
On a side note in my extensive internet searching I found a lot of the Pink Blush dresses on Amazon for quite a bit less. I'm pretty sure that they carry the maxi dress I posted but it was much less on Amazon and still offered free returns.
So my coworkers are trying to convince me to wear a dress to my shower. I was planning on just wearing a pretty sweater.
I got this dress today. *gulp* Tell me honestly guys, does it looks ridiculous?
I have NEVER worn such a fitted dress because I am usually trying to hide my belly. However, I figured how often would I have a chance to flaunt my belly instead? (Also please excuse the messy closet)
@Rachel2066 add me to team looks great! But I'm also totally biased in favor of a dress lol.
I ordered two, because my body is a foreign object & I have no idea what will fit/look flattering. The red one isn't exactly daytime/shower-y, but it's my party and I'll wear what I want lolol.
Struggling with shoes... I sure AF will not be wearing heels, my feet swell up to sausage size in regular shoes these days. I might do a pair of fuzzy slides
Re: All things Baby Shower!
It def complicates my relationship with my parents. I tend to rely on them less because I know she needs them more. My mom asked what big thing they could buy us for baby recently and I realized we'd already bought everything ourselves except the crib which 2 of our couple friends split and bought. She is throwing me the shower in NYC which is expensive so I thought of that as my gift. But they do make a ton more money than us and offered so then I said some storage stuff from Ikea. Now it becomes an Ikea trip they have to do for/with us that is stressing everyone out.
Tl;dr Ikea should deliver. Families are tough!
Andrea -- FTM at 39!
My favorite part was the craft they did- my mom and sister hired an artist to come in and help everyone make pieces to hang on a mobile for the baby. There are still a bunch of pieces that I can hang on it at home that didn’t make it on during the shower, so I’ll take some time to put that together at home soon. Pics in the spoiler from before all the guests showed up!
I get what you mean about the big stuff, it's a bit anxiety provoking for people who like to plan (me!) to have to wait until the shower and then still have stuff to do!
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
But we finally got seated and once everyone (but me) got some drinks in them people were happy. At one point they finally turned the music down. The drinks and food were great and towards the end of dad and husband dropped by with the cake. I loved having my family meet my friends. It was a success!
We didn't put many big items on our registry but I've been shocked how many people got multiple gifts and am just generally extremely excited about all the packages arriving. Someone bought our $60 crib mattress from Amazon and another person bought our boppy lounger. We got all of our bath stuff. People were very generous- and very last minute. I keep yelling it's like Christmas for Ada but she's not even born yet! when I open them joyfully.
One interesting thing- no one got any breast related stuff- my breast friend pillow, different types of bottles, milk freezer bags, manual pump, etc. I figured one of my friends would be into the boobs theme but not takers. Still, glad for the completion discount.
I have a situation that reminds me of it, not with a sister with MH issues, but with a friend (who might as well be my sister) who for various reasons has pretty much completely ignored this pregnancy for me. I'm not even clear on as to why. I know the background is different than yours is but its leaving me feeling alone and completely frustrated. I am choosing to put it aside, knowing I can't control how she acts and reacts to things, and focusing on the people who ARE there for me in this exciting time. It's incredibly difficult because I feel like my heart is breaking for this situation that I have no control over, but letting go of the idea that I could change the outcome on my own is helpful. I keep telling myself that, and that it's better for the lil baby in my belly for me to focus on the good instead of the less good.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
We got a good mix of things. Lots of clothes, but also a great infant first aid kit and breast milk storage system with extra bottles. We also got some beautiful handmade items and enough cash to get our travel system. It’s really just diapers, sheets, and bath towels that we need now.
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
One of my old coworkers that was thrown on the "cut" list is a super talented cookie decorator and runs a side business. I've had her make cookies for all of my sister's showers and they're always beautiful. Yesterday my mom called to ask for her contact info to ask her to make cookies for my shower. Ummmmm I'm not gonna be like "hey girl you're not actually invited to this party but can you drop off cookies? kthnx". Find your own darn cookie lady! lol
I cannot find something to wear for the life of me! I want to pair baby shower dress with maternity photoshoot dress (because who wants to pay $100+ for something they will wear ONE time?), but they're either too formal or not formal enough, too expensive or too cheap. Why am I so difficult? Does anyone have any reliable online maternity boutiques? We're having the shower 11/24, so I have time to order online & return if needed. Just want at least some semi-guaranteed quality, and online boutiques are so hit or miss these days.
That is also very common and expected where I am from (maybe it's a southern thing?) so I don't think I have ever been to a shower where the guest(s) of honor aren't already there greeting by the time I got there.
@kianarain that was the situation I was in too. I wanted something that could do double duty but couldn't find anything I loved. I got two nice sweater dresses from Pink Blush Maternity and I'll wear one of them.
Also, re: arriving at showers a bit late is what I thought might be the norm, because I often see pictures of the guest of honor walking in and who would've taken those pics if not for the guests standing around. I'm on the fence and I think I'll give myself a window of 11:45-12:15 and see how it goes the day of. But also I like @KLS123 's logic of making sure you can greet all the people in an orderly fashion. It reminds me of my wedding where we said hello to all the family and adult/parent-friend tables as people ate salads so we could party on with our friends the rest of the night.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
This is from Amazon (I was a bit worried about the quality of the fabric) but it is really nice and flows nicely. It could be an inch longer but I think it looks fine with flats. There is nothing 'maternity' about this and should be able to be worn post-baby. I got a size small. https://a.co/d/03SsH9S
This is from Motherhood maternity, it comes in a lot of colors / prints. I'm wearing the navy print to one of my showers but I got the solid black for some other events as well. Its the most flattering maternity dress I've found! I got a size small. https://www.motherhood.com/waist-tie-surplice-maternity-dress/006-96527-003-001.html
On a side note in my extensive internet searching I found a lot of the Pink Blush dresses on Amazon for quite a bit less. I'm pretty sure that they carry the maxi dress I posted but it was much less on Amazon and still offered free returns.
Good luck to everyone shopping!
EDD for #2 1/28/2021
I got this dress today. *gulp* Tell me honestly guys, does it looks ridiculous?
I have NEVER worn such a fitted dress because I am usually trying to hide my belly. However, I figured how often would I have a chance to flaunt my belly instead? (Also please excuse the messy closet)
I ordered two, because my body is a foreign object & I have no idea what will fit/look flattering. The red one isn't exactly daytime/shower-y, but it's my party and I'll wear what I want lolol.
Struggling with shoes... I sure AF will not be wearing heels, my feet swell up to sausage size in regular shoes these days. I might do a pair of fuzzy slides
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019