Most of us are still in our first trimester, but if you're like me, you're already thinking about how you want your birth to go.
Have you thought about what you want in your birth plan yet?
Is there anything that you are particularly worried about?
Any questions?
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019

Re: Hopes and fears for labour and delivery
So, ideally, an uncomplicated birth at home.
I do worry a little bit about what to do with DD1 and DD2 during the birth. DD2 was a pretty quick birth and MIL almost didn't make it in time to pick up DD1 before DD2 was born. I might ask my mom if she wants to come stay this time, but I don't know how she would feel about being there for the birth if it's at home...
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
I don't have much in mind for a birth plan yet. I didnt really have one with DS. I more so just had thoughts in my head that I shared with DH. I do plan on specifically asking to be left alone with DH and baby for the first few hours after the birth provided we are both doing well. I had skin to skin time with DS but as soon as I was moved out of labour and delivery it was a swarm of nurses and doctors with papers, forms and tests that really could have waited to be done/dealt with (vitamin k shot, hearing screens ect) I found it super overwhelming and I was really struggling to get DS to latch and felt very interrupted with all this stuff going on. Plus we hadn't slept in 36 hours.
I do worry about having a fast delivery again and not making it to the hospital on time (and with enough time for an epidural 🤣). I also worry about having a larger baby again as DS was 9 lbs 13 oz. He did come out without any issues but it was a painful recovery for me. I'm hoping my OB will keep a close eye on baby's size near the end.
I had DD about 24 hours after I felt my first contraction. I labored at home for 14 hours (6:30am-10pm). My water broke around 9pm and everything progressed from there. Got to the hospital at 10pm, epidural just before midnight, and slept from 12-3. Woke up while going through transition but didn't know it so got more pain medication in the epidural. I guess after going into labor without someone here to watch DD, my next biggest fear (although maybe just regret I don't want to repeat is more appropriate) is having too much pain medication when it comes time to push. I got to 10cm around 4:30am and they thought she was going to come out really fast but then I got super tired and it took an hour and a half, I think in good part b/c I couldn't feel ANYTHING since we shouldn't have given me more pain medication at 3am.
My OB said my delivery was complicated although I didn't feel like it was. DD did have meconium and the cord wrapped around her neck so maybe it was complicated for the doctor but all I had to do was push while about 12 people watched me in the delivery room.
ETA: Sorry if that first part got kind of birth story-y. Just trying to provide background but the actual birth story would be much longer :P
I assume I’ll have to go in the night before for my induction, but I’m really hoping I’ll dilate some on my own this time rather than starting from the very beginning. I figure my parents will stay at our house with DS that night, and then bring him to the hospital when it gets closer to go time? How has this worked for you all that already had a child? Part of me want him to come visit in the morning, go back home for nap time, and then come back when it’s almost time for the baby, but that’s probably excessive. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m pretty anxious about my induction failing and ending up in a csection. I don’t do very well when plans change. As much as I would rather not be induced, it’s comforting for me to know when to expect the baby. A surprise csection would scare the sh*t out of me. I need time to prepare for something like that.
I’m also worried that this baby will end up in NICU like DS did. I never expected that to happen at 38 weeks. It was such a mentally draining and hard time for us, but we at least were able to stay with him at the hospital until he was discharged. We wouldn’t be able to do that this time around, and so it just makes me nervous.
On a different note, I may cut somebody if they blow my vein out while trying to put my IV in. Go ahead and give me that Ambien, girl. 💁🏼♀️
Im also worrying about what the plan is for DS and our 3 dogs if I go into labor before my CS.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
ETA: my IV site was sooooo painful. I asked them to take it out after delivery and she said she'd give me a saline lock. I literally screamed in pain and cried so she took it out. I hope it's better next time but if it's uncomfortable I will ask them to do it again which I didn't do last time.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I can understand that fear but, FWIW, we heard the woman two rooms down loud and clear when her baby was crowning at the hospital. It didn't annoy us, and I think at a birth centre, noise like that will be expected. Also, you may have more support from the doula to help you shift the screaming to more productive noises.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
Not sure if this is overkill but would it be helpful to have STMs+ post birth stories here or in a separate thread? Not sure if this would help or scare FTMs, but it might give a sense of what to expect, and more importantly - to know that it's okay if not everything goes according to plan. Every woman has a different birth story and I bet most "plans" went astray at some point or another.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
My main concerns with a CS are losing a lot of blood again (or even more and needing a transfusion) and having to try to take care of a toddler and a newborn while recovering from surgery. I was so swollen from the retained fluid that it made walking hard. No clue what we're going to do with DS during this time either since we have no family around to help. We may be able to have my IL's come down and stay, but it takes them 5 hrs to get here so it could be hard getting them here quickly. My parents are only 3 hrs away, but they have a harder time dropping everything to get here due to their jobs. I'm hoping I go into labor or have my CS in the morning on a weekday so DS can at least be at daycare the whole time that first day.
Soooo...all this to say, I have no effing clue what I want/am going to do and will just play it by ear I guess.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
Phew. Can you guys tell from my posts I'm way heavy on the mom guilt? 🙈
Is there anything that you are particularly worried about? VBAC complications, and also just not making it to term again. This time they're discussing both cervical checks and progesterone shots until week 36 to hopefully make it.
Any questions? Not really at the moment, I know some women here have mentioned successful VBAC stories, and it's always great to hear those. Unless any of you have a crystal ball to tell me if it'll be successful, then yes, that would be great.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
Just a bit of info: my SO has epidermolytic hyperkeratosis. His skin is super fragile, he can’t regulate his body temp in the heat and in the cold it cracks open and bleeds and can get infected easily. There is no way to know if baby has this condition without a fetal skin biopsy. The closest facility to us that will perform that procedure is an 8 hour drive, and the procedure is similar to an amniocentesis but much riskier as they actually take skin cells from the baby and not just fluid from around the baby. Having this condition and a vaginal delivery can result in the baby’s skin being ripped off. A section is our best option; we won’t risk losing our baby because it won’t change any of our plans if baby does have it.
I’m not too worried about baby #2 having EHK. My fiancé has it and it sucks, but he’s alive and he manages it so I know we can handle our baby having it. Rhett doesn’t have it but that doesn’t mean baby #2 won’t. We would’ve loved to have vaginal deliveries for all our kiddos but that’s not our lot in life (at least with the current medical technology) and I’m at peace with that. A healthy baby and a healthy mama is always the goal regardless of how birth happens.
Also, don’t be afraid to speak up during delivery. If something is bothering you or doesn’t feel right tell someone. I had an IV done very quickly in L&D bc my LO’s heart dropped during a contraction. Once we got upstairs I requested it be removed and redone. It was horribly uncomfortable!!
TLDR: it's okay, and probably good, to poop during pushing
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
He numbed me more and then it was fine, but hoo boy it was scary
Everything was so calm and quiet, it was just my husband and I, and the nurses were fabulous at keeping my family at bay while we had time to bond as a new family of 3. I guess my biggest fear is having an experience drastically different from the first.
So many hugs and applause for all of you who have had natural births. I’m impressed by your strength. Maybe I’ll join your ranks someday, maybe I won’t. Either way, I’m excited we will have little nuggets to squish here in a few months!
I’d love a VBAC, preferably unmedicated, but I just don’t see that in the cards for me both because of my body and my anxiety. Still, a girl can dream. I loved the excitement of spontaneous labor with DS too. On the other hand, a rcs would be helpful because my mom could come up the night before for DS.
@eatinwatermelonseeds there are tons of reasons unmedicated births are great, sorry your H doesn’t get it. I think it’s hard for men to understand because they’re such wusses about pain 😂 I am supportive of however any woman wants to give birth but I researched those in particular a lot and liked the (typically) faster recovery stuff. Also, have you looked into doulas in training? They have to fulfill a certain number of hours before they can be certified and they do it for free! I think a doula would be great for someone like you. Also, no one at my hospital was rude to me about wanting an unmedicated birth the first time around. I specifically wrote in my birth plan that I was attempting it and for no one to offer, but to please honor should I ask for meds. It worked out really well.
@RoseShadow873 the epidural shakes are the WORST! I was soooo sore after and wanted a massage so bad. I don’t know if you saw, but @bluesky24’s H is an anesthesiologist and he said research has shown epidurals do not slow down labor. That personally made me feel better just to know in general. I love studies 😆
I don’t like the bad rap birth plans get. Mine was a very simple one pager that explained briefly what I wanted. It had things like “don’t call me mom, I want an unmedicated birth, I prefer no males, please keep me covered at all times if possible, and I prefer no interventions”. At the top i wrote “MY MAIN GOAL IS SAFE BABY AND SAFE ME SO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO, below are my preferences if possible”. If you keep it short and simple, it’s nothing to eye roll. Everyone expects both plans to be like “I need ten lit candles and someone feeding me grapes” or some nonsense.