@PolarBear517 I also found the placenta delivery more painful- I always feel like people look at me like I’m crazy when I say that! I’ll add that to my delivery wish list too :-)
@polarbear517 our gap between DS1 and 2&3 was almost exactly 18 months, and all we did in terms of preparing him was let him choose a baby doll to “practice” his big brother skills. It was a good tool for talking about “what are things we can do with the baby” or what ways are okay to hold or touch the baby (mostly practicing being gentle). It was actually really nice once his brothers arrived too because then he could “burp” his baby while I burped mine, or change his baby’s diaper, etc.
I've been doing pretty good! Work has been crazy busy the past month and will continue to be for another 2 months probably. It will slow down in just enough time for me to get things situated before I'm out on ML. Overall, I'm feeling good. I'm sore and tired by the end of the day but that's normal I know. I'm always hungry but according to the OB, I'm gaining weight slowly. None seem concerned anymore but said that I need to up calories if possible.
DD just turned two this past Friday! We went to the beach for her birthday to celebrate and she had a blast. This is such a fun age but also so challenging. She pushes boundaries and looks you in the eyes when you tell her no and does the opposite. I find myself losing patience quickly with her and I feel terribly guilty about it so it's been something I'm working on. But she's just the sweetest girl and I love seeing her continue to learn things!
GTKY: With DD, I am fortunate to have had a pretty textbook labor with an epi. My water broke at home, I was in labor right at 18 hours, get the epi the last 3 hours, and only had to push 10 or so min. This time, I would love to progress on my own and not need pitocin to help me. I also plan to hold off on the epi as long as possible (like last time) but maybe make it the whole time without.
@emmaaa I needed pitocin last time, too, to help progress happen. By the time I got my epi I had only had about 1hr of "painful" contractions (this was my request, I wanted at 1 hour of really big contractions before an epi so I was progressed enough to hopefully not slow anything down) and ended up needing to push 30min later!! The second they laid me back on the bed to wait for the epi to really kick in, I kept feeling an intense pressure with every contraction, although not much pain. I hated the feeling of the uncomfortable pressure almost more than the painful contractions, and 15min later when the nurse returned I said it kept feeling like i needed to poop out a bowling ball. She checked "just to see how far along I was" and I was ready to push!! I had to wait until the room was put together and the doctor came back, but everyone was shocked that I was ready.
THIS TIME I want them to check me BEFORE I get the epi. If it seems like I'm really close, I want to try to do it without the meds.
@sweetyjenj I think I got pitocin around 6:30 am (about 6 hours after my water broke and being at the hospital for 4 hours walking the halls and had not progressed at all, still at 1 cm). The contractions kicked in around 8:30 am but I could move through them. By about 11:00 am I was having back labor and struggling to stand during a contraction but they were still spread out. I ended up asking for the epi around 2ish and didn't get it until about 3. They did check right before they placed the epi and I was only at 4 cm. I remember feeling so defeated because I was progressing so slowly. After getting the epi around 3:00 pm, I laid in the bed for about an hour and the doctor came back to check me and he said, "hmm interesting." I remember thinking "I swear if I'm still at a 4 I will lose my mind." Turns out I had fully dilated. I told them I wasn't feeling pressure or like I needed to push and asked to labor down. I think they let me labor down for almost an hour and a half when I told the nurse I felt a lot of pressure. She checked me and said the baby was right there and to hold on for all the doctors lol. About 30 minutes later DD was here. I had a perfect epi, I barely felt anything other than pressure when I needed to push. If I get another one, I can only hope it's that good
Same - got pitocin w DD. I was so adamant on not getting an epi and laboring while walking around the hospital halls all night. Checked in around 10:30 PM. Walked around from 1-5 AM. Checked at 6 AM and dilated 1 cm. I was shocked! Doc said if I keep waiting, it’ll put DD in danger (got close to 12 hrs since water broke). Kicked in around 9:30 AM and I needed epi baddddd. Pitocin driven contractions are on a whole another level!
Side story: I heard someone say to ask for the bare minimum required for my height and weight bc epi numbed her too much and she couldn’t really push. I asked the anesthesiologist to give me very minimal amt and he was so ticked off. Told me he knows what he is doing. DH spoke up and said something. Anesthesiologist reluctantly came around and said “based on your weight at x and height at y...I’m giving you this much for now.” I think he was offended I was telling him how to do his job which wasn’t my intention at all.
This time, I’m just going to get the epi and not wait until the last min. I’m also hoping I won’t be in labor for 18 hrs again.
Realizing I’m answering things backwards here but I’m doing OK lately too. Once I hit 24 wks last week, I’ve felt some sort of relief. I AM traveling a lot this month (driving all over DC/MD/VA) and meeting all my clients that are far from me in person so Nov and Dec, I am work remotely most of the time. I get so anxious getting on the beltway here.
DD is super sweet lately and we’re having a lot of fun just watching her say new things every day! She turned 2 in July and I realize this Fall, I am loving all the “basic” things we’re doing together as a family. Pumpkin patch is a big hit w her. I see pics of her last Fall and wish she could be that little again but then I also love this stage (despite the terrible two tantrums).
Oh my gosh you guys. The public toddler meltdown of totally epic proportions that ended in my hauling DD the mile home from the park under my arm while she kicked and screamed definitely combined with the hormones to take what had been a great start to the day and blow it all to hell. I cried off and on for like an hour after we got back. Super grateful for my ILs who are "feeling brave" and going to take her post-nap for the rest of the day because man do I just feel exhausted now.
Me: 30 DH: 32 ~~ TTC #1: Sep 2015 ~~ BFP: Mar 2016 ~~ Daughter: Nov 2016 TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
I have the stomach flu so DH stayed home from work today to take care of DD, thank goodness or she would be watching Daniel Tiger all day...anywho it is kind of funny listening in on their day and all the toddler struggles and then not having to handle any of it. I did handle plenty over the weekend when DH was sick. It just took them like 20 min to leave for the park. #toddlerlife
I'm doing good, just resting trying to keep the baby inside. DD is handling the separation pretty well which I'm thankful for. I have to say it's been kind of nice to have my parents better understand a lot of my parenting choices since they have been watching DD. Several times now they've mentioned that they have to do things a certain way because that's what works for DD. Yep, just like I've been telling you when you try to give me advice.
GTKY: Well, I was induced with DD and this time we are trying to keep me out of preterm labor, so I imagine it will be pretty different. I always wanted to go into labor on my own, but not like this. I've been told to expect to have a preemie and NICU time but I'm not really sure what to expect for that. I don't know how labor will be different before full term. I do know if he's premature or having trouble because of the VSD, he'll be taken to the NICU right away.
@pttomato if you have any questions you'd like to ask a former NICU mom, please let me know! I'd be happy to provide details, what to expect, suggestions - whatever it is you might want!
DD (20 months now)is testing my limited patience lately. I'm already exhausted after coming home from work, then she wants snacks while she's in the car (it's a 5 min drive home from daycare!), so I figure she's hungry. I make her dinner and she runs away when I say it's time to eat, she FIGHTS to not have to sit in basically any seat at the table, and won't eat a bite of dinner. Thankfully this isn't a norm, only the last week or so, but omg it's incredibly frustrating. I'm really hoping my hormones are a big part of why I get so frustrated so easily, because I hate feeling mad at her for something she doesn't really know she's doing. DH took over after her dinner tantrum because I just needed a break.
@sweetyjenj just wanted to say - we are going through the same thing here! She no longer sits in her high chair. Not even a booster. She prefers standing up after we finally convince her to eat at the dining table. We need to embrace ourselves — I heard 3s are worse than 2s!! Threenagers. I’m already scared and she doesn’t turn 3 until next Summer.
Maybe we can even start a supportive thread on NICU life later on (or will we have migrated to FB by then?). Either way, I’m more than happy to be of resource.
Currently managing a 3-year-old and two 2-year-olds and I can attest to 3 being worse we are similarly dealing with the meal struggle, and the weird thing I’ve found that works is actually doing their dinner extra early like 4:30 (when they start going crazy asking for snacks and being difficult). I also bought a box of Greek yogurt gogurt tubes and hand one of those out as a bedtime snack if they don’t eat well at dinner just to help get a better sleep and not have cranky bears in the morning.
3 is definitely harder than 2 in my opinion. Threenagers are real and incredibly frustrating. But then you get these moments of amazing and it just reminds you that there are things every age that is going to be hard but every age is also amazing in it's own way.
I am scared of three. DD turned 2 in August and she already argues with me and tells me I'm wrong all the time and she's started to get an attitude when we tell her to do things. So far I would still take 2 over 18 months though.
Oh the threenager stage. Every year I'd have a pep talk with myself "you made it thru 2's, 3's can't be that bad" and then it happened. Someone also told me at 5 it starts to level off.... NOPE, not in this house! 5 has just been a whole new set of trials, attitudes and drama. I can't wait to see what 6 has in store for us LOL
Oh the threenager stage. Every year I'd have a pep talk with myself "you made it thru 2's, 3's can't be that bad" and then it happened. Someone also told me at 5 it starts to level off.... NOPE, not in this house! 5 has just been a whole new set of trials, attitudes and drama. I can't wait to see what 6 has in store for us LOL
I LOVE 5! I will say there is a peak and I feel like 3 is it and then it starts the down slope of drama. I have 5 and 7 right now and I love these ages. DD is 7 and has some drama but overall it's getting easier. I'm waiting to hit 11 or 12 when it gets real again.
I'm not ready for three. DD is two and she has been extra difficult lately. As the others have said, meal time is a struggle just getting her to sit. She is a great eater, thankfully, but does not want to sit still. I am usually on my own in the evenings so it's extra hard.
And she is also wanting to tell you what to do. Like "Mommy sit" "Mommy eat" "Mommy down" "Mommy move" etc. And if I don't do it, she loses it. Or if she wants to do something or asks for something and I tell her no or redirect her, she screams. I'm all about consistency and holding firm but some days are hard.
My DD just turned 3 last week, she's been a challenge since 2 and a half though. Doesn't want to go to bed, doesn't want to stay in bed, doesn't want to sit at the table. She's getting a little better. She is where she doesn't want naps half the time and that's frustrating because mommy wants a nap. I'm just thankful I don't have my sil's problems. Her 2 year old has never slept good, still doesn't. He doesn't want to sleep in his room. Wakes up multiple times during the night and won't go back to sleep so.... I guess I'll deal with my daughters bologna as long as she doesn't start those issues.
3 years old was much rougher for us than 2..... 4 is hit or miss.
something that worked well for 3 & 4 at times when we were struggling are sticker charts! Work like a charm to focus on behavior improvement in certain areas. Giving DD a sense of control really helped.
I'm so glad I'm not alone. If you're all right and 3 is worse than 2, send reinforcements! At least i'll be able to have wine but really..I keep thinking once she can better communicate or understand "first this then that" then that'll solve our problems, but if 3 is worse, then that means true defiance is coming.
I have to say, though, DD's angry face she'll give me if she doesn't like something I say or do is hilarious and so adorable. It's a death glare.
Guys, just the other night, DD gave me a death stare out of the blue and out of the blue, I said, “I’m sorry.”
Wtf! DH started laughing out loud. I was super tired but wtf to me. Why the heck did I apologize to my 2 yr old?! Hahaha
Also, I love that some of us have kids that are similar in age (and now w our littles on the way)!
My current situation: DD fought her naptime again in daycare and she just fell asleep in the car (we went to Trader Joe’s to pick stuff up). Great. Here’s to not going to bed on time, DD...sigh!
@AliKay20 DS goes through random spurts when he won’t nap at daycare. Those evenings are the worst. Though sometimeson those days he’ll fall asleep at 6 and sleep for 12 hours.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
@sparkymcgeee you are totally right that mixed in with the 3yo gremlin moments are these totally amazing moments that almost make you forget the rest. And I think that each kid hits the rough patches differently at different times- my DS1 was a wonderful sweet and easy 2yo but DS3 is screamy and demanding and does the flat-on-the-ground fit thing...maybe some kids get it out of their system before they hit 3 fingers crossed.
Add us to the meal time struggle. My DD2 just turned 2 and she is just isn't eating much dinner. The whole time I was cooking dinner she was walking into the kitchen saying 'mommy I hungee' then she has like 3 bites, wants to try her sisters food, then just makes a mess. It's hit or miss but at least she is sitting. She will sit there and say I'm done until we take her out if her seat though. I think she snacks a lot during the day....
Mealtime has been a big struggle lately. DH the other night let DS who is just over 2 watch a video of nursery rhymes during dinner because he was cranky and now that's all he wants to do. At dinner he will just say "I llnot hungry, I watch school bus " (meaning the wheels on the bus) He had a giant meltdown tonight because I said he needed to eat before he could watch anything. Eventually turned into "if you just eat 3 bites of this lar bar you can watch a song"...I feel like I'm negotiating with a terrorist. But he is techniqually underweight for his height so I feel like I can't just let him skip a meal. Glad to know I'm not alone in the mealtime struggle.
@AliKay20 lol I've said "I'm sorry" to a few of DD's death glares. Although if you think about it, we're teaching good social skills on apologizing when we've hurt someone's feelings? lol sometimes i follow it up with, "I'm sorry that you're mad, but you can't xyz..." but DD is still too young that i don't think she understands anyway.
@drabong88 if it makes you feel better, you could call your negotiating "positive reinforcement" and teaching "if..then.." the video he gets to watch after following your direction is positively reinforcing him following through and eating a few bites! Professionally, I have a lot of parents that come in for parent guidance and feel guilty for "bribing" their kids with things they know their kid likes, and I'm like...."That's essentially positive reinforcement." And one common thing we do is: define the problem behavior (not eating food), find something that's highly motivating (videos), then set a limit so they can have the reward after following through with completing the problem behavior (eat 3 bites, then you can have 1 video). You can do this over and over. "great job, you ate 3 bites! Here's 1 video" Then after video ends, pause it and do it all over. "You can watch another video when you eat 3 more bites." eventually make it harder and harder as he's better able to follow through...so like 5 bites, or once he finishes something, or finishes whole meal, etc. So you're not negotiating
I feel huge and everything hurts, but my older child is well. He’s extra clingy lately.
I’m hoping for no abruption, normal labor, no urgent-to-emergency cesarean, less blood loss, more breastmilk. Hoping to at least make it to 36 weeks or beyond. 👌🏼
I'm so scared for the 3s after reading all this.. Lol, I feel like I'm just waiting for things to "get better" with my DD, but it seems like once we clear one hurdle, there's something else. The biggest thing right now is that she is so high energy and wants me to play with her all. the. time. I try to encourage independent play, but her attention span is also like 15 seconds. Overall, she's a great kid and I feel like a butthead complaining about normal 2 yo behavior, but man are small children hard.
I'm also kind of concerned that she doesn't seem interested in playing with other kids at all. @sweetyjenj, maybe you can give me some insight.. at what age to kids start playing interactively? DD doesn't mind if other kids are around, but basically ignores them at this point.
For those of you in the throws of terrible twos and threenagers, it does get better. DS is 5.5 and he’s been a huge help and super concerned when I say I don’t feel good or I’m in pain. He’s been a saving grace. Hang in there!
Anyone else struggling with their other kiddos not being excited for a new baby? My 5 year old is great and can't wait. my 2 1/2 year old is a different story. She keeps saying "No, don't like baby brother." I am hoping it is a phase but I think its going to be a rude awakening when he comes. I am just going to try to be really patient with her. She is very much a momma's girl and even sits on the exam table with me during appts. The OB told me I'm in trouble.
@Jackiemxoxo I was worried about my 2 year old too. She just ignores the whole topic and gets jealous of her older sister. @sweetyjenj told me that 2 is still a little young for them to fully understand what is happening. It made me feel a whole lot better.
My cousins 6 year old was adamant that she didn't want a sibling , would have nothing to do with the baby, and didn't like the baby the whole time my cousin was pregnant. That changed almost immediately after they brought home her brother.
There's a lot of great social stories out there to prepare young siblings, though if they're too young they might not totally relate the book/story to the real fact that baby is in your belly and on the way. I have this book, I got it on Amazon, and DD loves it. I really don't think she understands yet, but my point with it is so that when baby does come she'll be like "oh yeah, I remember this from my book!" Who knows how much our LO's are soaking up, even if they can't demonstrate comprehension yet. @Jackiemxoxo@molosmiles
Re: October STM check-in
DD just turned two this past Friday! We went to the beach for her birthday to celebrate and she had a blast. This is such a fun age but also so challenging. She pushes boundaries and looks you in the eyes when you tell her no and does the opposite. I find myself losing patience quickly with her and I feel terribly guilty about it so it's been something I'm working on. But she's just the sweetest girl and I love seeing her continue to learn things!
GTKY: With DD, I am fortunate to have had a pretty textbook labor with an epi. My water broke at home, I was in labor right at 18 hours, get the epi the last 3 hours, and only had to push 10 or so min. This time, I would love to progress on my own and not need pitocin to help me. I also plan to hold off on the epi as long as possible (like last time) but maybe make it the whole time without.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Side story: I heard someone say to ask for the bare minimum required for my height and weight bc epi numbed her too much and she couldn’t really push. I asked the anesthesiologist to give me very minimal amt and he was so ticked off. Told me he knows what he is doing. DH spoke up and said something. Anesthesiologist reluctantly came around and said “based on your weight at x and height at y...I’m giving you this much for now.” I think he was offended I was telling him how to do his job which wasn’t my intention at all.
This time, I’m just going to get the epi and not wait until the last min. I’m also hoping I won’t be in labor for 18 hrs again.
Realizing I’m answering things backwards here but I’m doing OK lately too. Once I hit 24 wks last week, I’ve felt some sort of relief. I AM traveling a lot this month (driving all over DC/MD/VA) and meeting all my clients that are far from me in person so Nov and Dec, I am work remotely most of the time. I get so anxious getting on the beltway here.
DD is super sweet lately and we’re having a lot of fun just watching her say new things every day! She turned 2 in July and I realize this Fall, I am loving all the “basic” things we’re doing together as a family. Pumpkin patch is a big hit w her. I see pics of her last Fall and wish she could be that little again but then I also love this stage (despite the terrible two tantrums).
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
GTKY: Well, I was induced with DD and this time we are trying to keep me out of preterm labor, so I imagine it will be pretty different. I always wanted to go into labor on my own, but not like this. I've been told to expect to have a preemie and NICU time but I'm not really sure what to expect for that. I don't know how labor will be different before full term. I do know if he's premature or having trouble because of the VSD, he'll be taken to the NICU right away.
Parenting a toddler while pregnant is hard!
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
@pttomato I agree w @bradleysmommy28 - any questions about NICU life, I am an open book.
Maybe we can even start a supportive thread on NICU life later on (or will we have migrated to FB by then?). Either way, I’m more than happy to be of resource.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
i have had a couple people tell me you either get really bad 2s OR really bad 3s, so I’m just going to cross my fingers and hope that one is true.
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
And she is also wanting to tell you what to do. Like "Mommy sit" "Mommy eat" "Mommy down" "Mommy move" etc. And if I don't do it, she loses it. Or if she wants to do something or asks for something and I tell her no or redirect her, she screams. I'm all about consistency and holding firm but some days are hard.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
something that worked well for 3 & 4 at times when we were struggling are sticker charts! Work like a charm to focus on behavior improvement in certain areas. Giving DD a sense of control really helped.
I have to say, though, DD's angry face she'll give me if she doesn't like something I say or do is hilarious and so adorable. It's a death glare.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Wtf! DH started laughing out loud. I was super tired but wtf to me. Why the heck did I apologize to my 2 yr old?! Hahaha
Also, I love that some of us have kids that are similar in age (and now w our littles on the way)!
My current situation: DD fought her naptime again in daycare and she just fell asleep in the car (we went to Trader Joe’s to pick stuff up). Great. Here’s to not going to bed on time, DD...sigh!
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
I’m hoping for no abruption, normal labor, no urgent-to-emergency cesarean, less blood loss, more breastmilk. Hoping to at least make it to 36 weeks or beyond. 👌🏼
I'm also kind of concerned that she doesn't seem interested in playing with other kids at all. @sweetyjenj, maybe you can give me some insight.. at what age to kids start playing interactively? DD doesn't mind if other kids are around, but basically ignores them at this point.
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
My cousins 6 year old was adamant that she didn't want a sibling , would have nothing to do with the baby, and didn't like the baby the whole time my cousin was pregnant. That changed almost immediately after they brought home her brother.
Who knows how much our LO's are soaking up, even if they can't demonstrate comprehension yet. @Jackiemxoxo @molosmiles
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19