@sjnsjnsjn I've heard from friends who have had similar issues getting a tongue tie diagnosed. The hospital I'm delivering at and my OB practice are both very pro-breastfeeding, and have a lactation consultant visit soon after birth to help with the initial breastfeeding. Next appointment with my OB, I'll ask what the process is if I need additional breastfeeding support (should I call OB first for a referral, or will I have direct access to the lactation consultants?).
@sjnsjnsjn that can be true however in my case my pediatrician has special training in breastfeeding (which is one of the reasons I chose him) and also a good relationship with several lactation consultants in the area. So he was actually really helpful with my breastfeeding issues.
Some pediatricians offices have lactation consultants on staff too. It just depends on the doctor. So if that is very important to you then it may be something to consider when choosing. Of course you can always seek outside breastfeeding help too if you need it.
Another thing I just thought of, I feel like pediatricians that have kids of their own are often more empathetic and have ‘tips and tricks’ that are more practical for parents. Not saying that there aren’t good doctors who don’t have kids just that those with kids get what it’s like to be a parent on a personal level too which may be beneficial.
@allthingsgo- That's awesome and a good point. The weirdest thing to me was that these amazing older mom NICU nurses who were up in every mm of my son and I was learning to nurse in there said squat about it too. Clearly I harbor much frustration about it!
@madreofdragons- That's hilarious. I had a similar moment. I'd been in the hospital about 24 hours and was finally about to start pushing and some intern for my OB showed me the forceps like here's what we may need to use, if blah blah blah. I did not even respond in words and then just pumped that kid out in short order. Maybe that's a tactic! If so, it worked.
My doctor asked me (after pushing for a while and throwing up from said pushing) if I wanted her to use the vacuum because DS Head was out but his shoulders were a bitch. I gasped a yes in between puking...just.get.him.out lol
@sjnsjnsjn I can definitely understand your frustration! It is weird how specialized nurses and doctors can still miss things like obvious tongue ties like with your son. Especially when breastfeeding a NICU baby is so important! I’m glad you were finally able to get the help you needed though.
I hadn’t really considered formula since I plan to breastfeed but should I stock some in case it doesn’t work out? How do I even know what to get? That’s part of why I want to BF - less to think about!
@megpants209- My hospital sent us home with some because we were doing both BF and supplementing. Likely they will send you home with some mini bottles, especially if you ask!
@megpants209 so I am one of those that started breastfeeding and quit and switched to formula. My favorite is Enfamil Gentleease. You can go on the Enfamil website and sign up for free samples and coupons. I would sign up now so the samples get to you on time.
I’m coming in late on the birth plan discussion. As a mother myself, I have a general idea of how I would like to birth to go. I also know it will go how it’s going to go and my body is basically in charge of that so I honestly spend very little time imagining my labors.
As a labor/delivery nurse x 8 years, I can tell you that birth plans are great as a general guide but I would not focus too hard on your birth looking like that. I’ve had two babies so far, and neither looked the way I envisioned but I was happy and healthy at the end and so was baby. Every mom is different, every labor is different in its own way. Some babies are positioned in an optimal position for birth, some are not. Some babies are small for gestational age, some are very large. I’ve seen 11-12 lb babies that were not past their due date.
@megpants209 echoing what @disneybaby84 said - you can get samples for free! I'd go that route if you don't expressly want to FF outright. We ended up switching to formula, but used up the samples first to see what worked for DS. We ended up using the Costco gentle formula.
@megpants209 def stock one or two cans (or as many as you can get for free!). I BFed DD exclusively until 6 mos, and continued until she was 2 (not the original plan, but hey! That’s life!). The formula saved me on so many occasions because even when I was struggling to produce, I knew it was always in the cupboard as a backup. We never did use it, but it was nice to know in an emergency situation, someone other than me could’ve fed my baby without needing to figure out a trip to the store, and then car seat issues.
@megpants209 definitely get the free enfamil box. I forgot to drink water and eat for a day and killed my supply. Thankfully we had those samples so DD could eat. Afterwards I became *that* crazy mom that did everything and anything to BF and up my production, but even then still had formula as a backup.
I agree with @catwoman8731 in that it is comforting just to have formula in the pantry as a back up even if you don’t end up using it. It really takes some of the stress of breastfeeding off of you knowing you can always feed your baby.
I signed up for the similac and enfamil box, they give you tons of free stuff. It was nice knowing they were in the cupboard on hand, especially since our grocery store is half an hour away. I was fortunate not to need them but know lots of people who topped up with formula in the early days and went on to have great BF relationships
I'm really struggling with trying to decide if I'm going to give BF'ing a go again this time around. With DD, I had supply issues from the beginning so just ended up using formula pretty much right away and that was great. She's healthy and obviously fed is best. I *think* I'd like to try this time around, but it was so difficult in the beginning I'm almost scared to go through that again and just go the formula route. But I also don't want to just NOT try. Idk, I have a lot of feelings about it. Any TTM's have issues BF'ing one and be able to without issues the next time?
I'm really struggling with trying to decide if I'm going to give BF'ing a go again this time around. With DD, I had supply issues from the beginning so just ended up using formula pretty much right away and that was great. She's healthy and obviously fed is best. I *think* I'd like to try this time around, but it was so difficult in the beginning I'm almost scared to go through that again and just go the formula route. But I also don't want to just NOT try. Idk, I have a lot of feelings about it. Any TTM's have issues BF'ing one and be able to without issues the next time?
My first struggled at the beginning because I have severe oversupply issues. So I had to pump before I could even attempt to feed her. Then I ended up using a nipple shield and she had a very shallow latch. It felt like struggle after struggle. However, my second was the polar opposite from day one. Great latch, little to no nipple discomfort for me, and we nursed until she was 18 months old!
Our RainbowBaby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
Married my Marine 05.23.14
*TW* TWIN LOSS 7.2.15 BFP 9.7.15 CP BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16 BFP 10.14.17 CP BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
@katamca I do not wish to BF my second Lo coming in Feb. DS had zero interest in my nipples and after a very trying few days in the hospital I didn’t have the mental head space to make myself crazy over BFing. This time around I know what works best for me and my family as a working mother with mental health issues and that is to formula feed. People have lots of feelings on the feeding topic...I know I will receive some flak from in laws and a doctor or nurse perhaps but I’ve made up my mind and I’m steadfast in it.
weigh the pros and cons and see what makes sense for you and your family.
@katamca I do not wish to BF my second Lo coming in Feb. DS had zero interest in my nipples and after a very trying few days in the hospital I didn’t have the mental head space to make myself crazy over BFing. This time around I know what works best for me and my family as a working mother with mental health issues and that is to formula feed. People have lots of feelings on the feeding topic...I know I will receive some flak from in laws and a doctor or nurse perhaps but I’ve made up my mind and I’m steadfast in it.
weigh the pros and cons and see what makes sense for you and your family.
Thanks for the input! Yeah the first few days of trying were so, so hard. I will be going back to work after 12 weeks too, and so added into it if I have to go that route I'll have to figure out pumping as well.
@katamca i have thought briefly should I try harder to breastfeed this time. last time i had such anxiety over breastfeeding, over being a first time mom, that having that one complication taken care of, feeding was relaxing for me. If I'm honest with myself, I know formula feeding, I'm comfortable with it and this time I got one extra child in the house that also needs me to be as best functioning as possible.
I’m just going to throw this out there for the moms thinking about whether or not they should give Nursing a go... I’ve mentioned it before but I threw in the towel after 3 weeks with DD because I hated it. Nursing literally made my skin crawl, I hated being chained to the couch, I resented being the only one who could feed her. Switched to formula and my mental health improved immensely and immediately. Making the switch was absolutely the right thing.
Flash forward 3 years and DS arrives. I decide to give Nursing a whirl because I knew that if it didn’t work and I wanted to quit, that formula was an absolutely fine and viable option. Because I knew this, I put SO MUCH LESS pressure on myself. I went on to nurse my son for 15 months and it was the easiest, most enjoyable thing ever - the exact opposite of Nursing my DD.
All that to sat that every Nursing relationship is different. If you want to go straight to formula - do it! Fed is best, 100%. But if you want to try Nursing, go for it and go into it knowing that you can change your mind at any time.
@okayestmom12 That's really good advice. I've already been feeling the pressure from a few friends who exclusively breast feed and are all "breast is best", and while I totally get that breast milk is certainly amazing, I also hate the pressure that it puts on me and how anxious I feel about it. It's like I start to think "Okay, if I can't get this breastfeeding thing down, then I'll have failed as a mom because my child will be doomed forever if he doesn't get breast milk." Which is 100% not true. I'm going to give breastfeeding a try and am willing to put in a lot of effort to get things off to a good start. But it's really nice to hear someone say "You know, if breastfeeding sucks and you decide not to do it, your baby will still turn out just fine." So, thanks for that!
@hannahbananas11- Everything you say is so right. My pp anxiety and stress was massively increased by my BFing struggles and the pressures I put on myself. If it goes as badly as last time, I am not gonna be as nuts about it as last time because I did no one any favors... If it doesn't work, no sweat and your child will be just fine!
Just throwing this out as well. Part of our birth plan was to have a chat with family and let them know that we wanted a few hours with just us and baby. The parents didn't love it but they agreed for both kids. The idea of a bunch of people hanging outside of L&D while we are trying to get our bearings and I look/feel like shit gives me anxiety!
@megpants209 I would not have formula, if you plan on breastfeeding. To stimulate milk production, you need to put the baby to the breast. If the baby seems hungry, and you give a bottle of formula, it will trick your brewers into producing less milk. Instead, I’d find nursing resources, like a breastfeeding support group and lactation consultant.
@katamca I’m one of the “lucky” few who had a long uneventful breastfeeding journey with my first, BUT hell of earth nursing my second. (Tongue ties/aspiration/severe reflux/food allergies) Fortunately, I knew what Nursing was supposed to be like- which helped me persevere-but only because I already had resources in place. My cousin did not nurse her first two, but is currently breastfeeding her third.
@whattalife525415- Great plan! Some of the best advice we got was to make the hospital time special for just us and our newborn (this time it'll be just us with a visit from our toddler), for peace and bonding. We took that advice and had no visitors and it was a very intense and special time. (My mom didn't like it but she has boundaries issues, and I didn't care what she wanted at all, because I have grown immune to her.)
@whattalife525415 Agreed 100%. Last time we were hours away from family (but crazy MIL and her husband came to visit) so we only had to draw the boundary once. This time the hospital where I'll deliver is literally within walking distance of my mom's house. She'll be keeping DS but I can already imagine how anxious she'll be to come visit. I'm notoriously bad at drawing boundaries with my mom, but it'll be easy to say "hey I don't want DS to see me all whacked out/scary looking after the baby is born, so let's wait until I can stand up to hug him/I don't look like a zombie/I've taken a shower and rested for you all to visit"
Can anyone recommend a bassinet? Last time I borrowed one but that's not an option this time. Trying to find one that isn't ridiculously expensive but is still safe and will work for the first month or so.
@whatalife525415 - I agree! For us with our second, we made sure that my DD got to meet her brother and have a few minutes with him before my mom came up (she brought DD to the hospital). We'll make sure the same thing happens w/ DD & DS this time to meet their little brother.
Also... I have scheduled c-sections but after my first, I reacted pretty terrible to the meds and was pretty sick/ pukey for 8 hours post op. Because of this, I knew that I didn't want anyone to be visiting basically the first day so we only had my parents & my inlaws. I will say that I felt better after my 2nd c/s than my first because I knew to ask to have anti nausea meds on board during my c/s and that helped immensely.
Should I add a high chair to the registry? I know I won't need it for a while. Also, what did y'all like in terms of high chairs? I'm interested in the ones that clamp on to the side of the table, since that seems to be smaller and easier to stick in a closet when not in use or when travelling, but I don't know anyone who's ever used one. Thoughts?
@disneybaby84 That's a good idea about Prime Day, since that'll be after we move, most likely (one less thing to pack!). I know nothing about high chairs: what did you get, and do you recommend it? Is there anything in particular that you find really useful about it, or that isn't useful at all?
@hannahbananas11- We did not put a high chair on the registry and then I wondered why, when blink, six months passed, and we were spending $150 on a high chair! So go for it if you know which one you want. Re: those clamping ones, I hope you have better luck than we did. We borrowed one for traveling and literally every single place we stayed, it would not work for some reason, the table was too thick, the table had a lip, etc etc. super annoying because what a great idea right?!
I liked the one you could strap to a regular dining chair. Cheaper than a full size. Although we only have 3 dining chairs now so I’ll have to get either a new chair or a full size high chair.
@hannahbananas11 we did but yeah you don’t use it until about 5 months ish. It’s a big piece of furniture to store...if you can go for it. I didn’t like the one I got I prefer the wooden ones like stokke but I got an amazon version for DS as his big boy chair. I’m looking at the wooden stokke type high chairs for this LO
@hannahbananas11 with Amazon Prime Day you get whichever high chairs they have for sale. Also Amazon Prime Day is a good time to buy the convertible car seat, they’re always several models on sale.
Re: Ask a STM week of October 1
Some pediatricians offices have lactation consultants on staff too. It just depends on the doctor. So if that is very important to you then it may be something to consider when choosing. Of course you can always seek outside breastfeeding help too if you need it.
Another thing I just thought of, I feel like pediatricians that have kids of their own are often more empathetic and have ‘tips and tricks’ that are more practical for parents. Not saying that there aren’t good doctors who don’t have kids just that those with kids get what it’s like to be a parent on a personal level too which may be beneficial.
@allthingsgo That is such a good tip- I should of course prepare for either scenario because you never know what will happen day of. Thanks for that!!
@BourbonBiscuits Great point about the random household stuff- Costco will be our best friend.
As a labor/delivery nurse x 8 years, I can tell you that birth plans are great as a general guide but I would not focus too hard on your birth looking like that. I’ve had two babies so far, and neither looked the way I envisioned but I was happy and healthy at the end and so was baby. Every mom is different, every labor is different in its own way. Some babies are positioned in an optimal position for birth, some are not. Some babies are small for gestational age, some are very large. I’ve seen 11-12 lb babies that were not past their due date.
Afterwards I became *that* crazy mom that did everything and anything to BF and up my production, but even then still had formula as a backup.
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
weigh the pros and cons and see what makes sense for you and your family.
Flash forward 3 years and DS arrives. I decide to give Nursing a whirl because I knew that if it didn’t work and I wanted to quit, that formula was an absolutely fine and viable option. Because I knew this, I put SO MUCH LESS pressure on myself. I went on to nurse my son for 15 months and it was the easiest, most enjoyable thing ever - the exact opposite of Nursing my DD.
All that to sat that every Nursing relationship is different. If you want to go straight to formula - do it! Fed is best, 100%. But if you want to try Nursing, go for it and go into it knowing that you can change your mind at any time.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
Also... I have scheduled c-sections but after my first, I reacted pretty terrible to the meds and was pretty sick/ pukey for 8 hours post op. Because of this, I knew that I didn't want anyone to be visiting basically the first day so we only had my parents & my inlaws. I will say that I felt better after my 2nd c/s than my first because I knew to ask to have anti nausea meds on board during my c/s and that helped immensely.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
Re: those clamping ones, I hope you have better luck than we did. We borrowed one for traveling and literally every single place we stayed, it would not work for some reason, the table was too thick, the table had a lip, etc etc. super annoying because what a great idea right?!