@hoping4rainbow3 Sorry you're having an extra hard day. We've all been there and definitely understand. I think mental health days are genuine sick days if you need to take one, but it's for sure hard when you have to justify and absence.
@hoping4arainbow3 Sorry for the bad day(s). This year I've started blowing a day here and there with either sick or personal leave, and used them as mental health days. Been the best thing I've done for myself!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
My OPKs were all over the place and I finally chalked it up to anovulatory cycle. I had 2 days of negative both Sunday and Monday. I didn’t test yesterday. I gave up. Then this morning I got a shift in temp a significant shift like from 97.26 to 98.01 so I decided to take an OPK this morning and it was high so I guess I ovulated yesterday. So I think we have zero chance this month as the last time we did the deed was Thursday. Totally sucks
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
@kath525 I’ve had it happen before it was just worse this time bc it was our last shot before my surgery and I’m not sure how long I will be out following surgery or if we will even continue trying so it just stung a little more than it normally would have
@Mack2342 I'm sorry. We're at the how much longer do we really continue trying stage as well. We originally said til the new year but I'm not sure we'll make it that long. I hope your surgery goes well!
Thanks ladies. @Kath525 it’s so hard to make that decision. After my 3rd loss, I said no more yet two weeks later I said maybe a few more months. Then I said we will finish out our fertility treatments and then done to let’s try on own for few more months. I have now accepted that we will not have another baby so even though we have tried the last couple months on our own a lot of stress has been taken off because I have accepted it. I now will be ecstatic if it happens but know I will be ok if it doesn’t. I couldn’t say that at the early part of the year. I’ve gotten way more lax about trying so I know it’s just going to end soon. I can’t say we won’t try after surgery but just not sure if we will. I wish you the best in your decision It really is a hard one
@kath525 I'm in the same boat. If this round of IVF doesn't work, I just don't know how much more I have left in me for TTC. Of course, I said that during the first round too. It's such a hard decision to make, and one that I change my mind about all the time. The financial aspect, the physical and emotional drain...it's all just exhausting. I think hey, maybe we'll NPNT, but I'm way too type A for that! I hope you're able to come to a decision that you can live with.
ETA: I'm 8DPO (I think), and nothing to even go BSC about because I don't have any symptoms other than a headache and slightly sore boobs, but that's probably the estrogen patches.
Well. I’m spotting and I hate everything. EDD was October 8th so I definitely won’t be pregnant by then. And I know people aren’t getting pregnant AT me but it sure feels like it. Especially when it’s baby 4+ and they giggle about how it just happens.
One more failed cycle until I can get testing and then we’ll see after that. I’m also too type A for NPNT. A friend told me that I needed to relax and it would happen and I wanted to kick her. I’m a miserable jerk to be around right now. Who also just cries randomly. I’m so sorry that you’re in similar boats @kath525 and @bakerstreetboys
Looks like a lot of us are in the same boat right now. I’m pretty sure I’ve given my husband whip lash with how often I change my mind, he just can’t keep up. Luckily he’s incredibly laid back and just goes with the flow since I’m such a mess! After our latest loss I told him I was done and we can’t even NPNT bc I’m pretty convinced I would end up with a third D and C which I just cannot emotionally handle. But of course a few weeks went by and now we’ve started an IVF cycle... I just keep wishing I had all the answers and could see the future but at this point I’m just praying we are doing what’s right for our family. I hope all of you ladies are able to come to a decision that makes you happy or at least one you feel good about. This is just all so hard!
char245 YES! My DH is all like, "So, have we given up on trying and are gonna live happily childless not by choice?" Or "Oh, we're trying this month?" Or "Are you still trying to lose the weight to attempt the Clomid? Or do you even want to? Cause I think you're fine as is." It's definitely whip-lash inducing.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
Couldn’t agree more with all you ladies especially @char245 about giving my husband whiplash with how quickly my emotional roller coaster changes... @mwmiller4 I’m also feeling like everyone’s getting pregnant At me and I’m not pleasant to be around. Icing on the cake my sister in law recently got engaged and has decided that they’re getting married in punta Cana. Hello Zika virus...so we can’t even go to their wedding. I’m not willing to give up 6months of TTC when she knows full well about our loss and our struggles. She’s only inviting 6 family members total to the wedding including us. If she really wanted us there she could change the venue! Hawaii is nice and zika free....ugh! But maybe I’m just petty? I don’t know...ugh!
@justarius I'm definitely ready to say goodbye to 2018. I don't think you're being petty at all; I wouldn't go either. Assuming she's aware of the zika threat to pregnant women / women trying to conceive, she should have picked another location if she expects you to attend!
justarius Are they still benching people for Zika? I thought they'd loosened up on some of those requirements? But I haven't traveled to any place where you'd been benched, so maybe I'm not up on it?
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
@bakerstreetboys I told her all about it within 2 days of the invite.
@dpjennifer yes they’re still benching people. The recommendations are to either not travel to those areas if TTC or if the man does bench for 6months, if the woman does then bench for 8 weeks. And to definitely not travel in those area if pregnant.
I’m sorry we are all in this boat. It’s the worst. Sorry about EDD. I have one coming in November which should be 1st Birthday. Sucks. Hopefully we can all figure out what’s best for us.
Yep. I’m allllllllllll done with 2018. It’s been one thing after another—my loss, a friend on round 6 of IVF going through an identical one, almost losing my FiL to viral cardiomyopathy and cousin diagnosed with a very rare, very aggressive brain tumor. Throw in a broken toe, the same tire getting nails in it twice, and the AC breaking I’m just trying to make it January without 2018 going “you think that’s crazy...hold my beer”
@mwmiller4 I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that! I totally understand how you’re feeling, every time I think things really can’t get worse they do!! I just need to stop thinking like that. Bring on 2019!!
@mwmiller4 it’s so wild how we all post so much about TTC and yet in other ways most (if not all) of our lives are completely crazy at the same time. So sorry you’ve had such an awful time.
We’ve lost a lot of family and friends this year including our own personal loss. People touched by cancer. My parents are barely avoiding bankruptcy as they’ve made the same mistake as so many of their generation waiting on their inheritance for retirement. And worst of all my sister is in a love-less, abusive marriage with two kids and it’s taken So much for her to finally realize she needs to leave with the kids. Then there’s always small things like just yesterday we lost power for 8hrs, had 2 trees fall in our driveway, I have my whole out-of-town in-law family here for monday’s funeral (yet another loss) and we couldn’t figure out how to get our water running when the power came back on! (Finally fixed now) sigh.
Really hope 2018 ends on better notes for all of us or at the very least that 2019 is better to all of us!
@justarius I’m sorry for all the losses you’ve experienced lately! Life is really tough and when you add TTCAL on top of that it’s sometimes so overwhelming. I agree, let’s hope 2018 ends on a better note for all of us!
Wow, every time I'm ready to just leave the board because of the I don't wanna's, I see how many of us are in the same boat. I had an appt yesterday just to ask getting some hormone labs drawn. I hadn't had any done since pre-ivf 5/6 years ago. Dr basically tells me it really won't do any good because our levels change daily. It's been 1 year I had my iud removed and now, 2 losses later I'm feeling Endo symptoms returning. Oh yea, and a bfn at the clinic as well. Because I've been feeling some hormonal changes I bought some Progessence Plus serum to try to regulate if the endo is indeed spreading again (I'm stage IV) but I feel like I can't start because won't that hinder ovulation? I'm tired of playing the to try or be done accordion. I can't even admit that these so called hormone symptoms are probably just depression.
You are all held dear to my heart, in that i want happiness for all. Whatever the future holds for any of us, please remember that none of this infertility and loss garbage defines who you are. #itsoktonotbeok kind of day.
@justarius What a terrible year!!! I really hope you get a break soon.
@rowedking6 that made me cry. You’re right. It’s ok to not be ok and all of us deserve true joy and happiness no matter the outcome. I really hope your endo isn’t coming back and that there’s something they can do
Thanks everyone @rowedking6 more true words were never spoken...I was at chapters today and I had two books in my hand “Conceivability” and “the art of not giving a f*ck” I stood there for a long time debating which book to buy...sigh...in the end I bought conceivability so I guess that means I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet.
Needing some advice from experience if anyone has any to offer. Here’s my current situation: CD 32 currently, spotting yesterday with lots of cramping last night & night prior but still no real AF (usually arrives CD 30) bfn on CD 27 (11 dpo) plan to retest tomorrow if no real AF arrives. If another BFN I don’t know what to do. Wait until CD 35 take progesterone to induce a period? But then why didn’t I get a period on my own? Anovulatory cycle? But I’m taking femara CD3 for 5 days and has always made me ovulate in the past. Should I induce and take femara as usual? Should I induce and take an increased dose of femara? I feel so lost and doc won’t talk on the phone and an appt wouldn’t be for a least a month if I book. Sigh. I hate feeling so alone with these decisions.
@justarius I can’t beliece they won’t advise you over the phone when they have wait times like that! That seems insane! I have no practical advice unfortunately—but inducing a period and taking femara sound reasonable to me. FX your test is positive and you don’t have to worry about it!
I’m kind of in the same boat. My spotting never picked up to anything. You can set your clock by my stupid 10 day LP (with spotting the afternoon/evening before) so I’ll test tomorrow (13 dpo). Maybe it was anovulatory for me, too? Since google says periods can be lighter?
justarius I'm guessing you don't temp? It'll be really hard to know if your cycle is annovulatory or if you O'd late if you didn't temp. Pretty much I think you just have to wait it out. OB-GYN don't usually care to do anything until you hit like 50-some days. I'm sorry your doc won't talk to you on the phone and doesn't have any appointments for a month!?!? That's ridiculous! They don't have a nurses line or something where you can ask questions? Are you going through RE or OB? Sorry. The not knowing and just sitting around waiting really sucks when it comes to long cycles like that. Especially when you're frustrated and all "I just either want to be PG or get AF.... come on body, decide!"
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
The not knowing and just sitting around waiting really sucks when it comes to long cycles like that. Especially when you're frustrated and all "I just either want to be PG or get AF.... come on body, decide!"
Oh my gosh. Alllll of this! I'm on my first cycle postpartum, so of course it's wonky, but I literally tested until I had an LH surge, started the horrible waiting game, and then two weeks later hit another LH surge. So here's to extra waiting. Grrr.
I'm sorry for all the rough times you ladies have been going through lately. 2018 really has been the worst year, in 100% seriousness, and I hope we all catch a well deserved break come 2019.
@dpjennifer no I don’t temp because I work 12hr night/day shifts with a horrible schedule and I find them all wonky because of the different times - my circadian rhythm is all screwed up most of the time. I’m with a registered fertility specialist and he’s the only one in my little city. Usually I do opks but this past month I was just grieving again too much and didn’t even feel like ttc. Like obvsly I want a baby and now I hate myself for ‘taking a month off’ but it was like I couldn’t even dredge myself up off the floor so to speak. Just went through the motions of only what was necessary to get through the month. Anyway it seems I must’ve just had a late O as today AF in full force. Freaked out for no reason. Thanks for all the support and answers anyway ladies, you’re all the best!
@d_marie_23 sorry about your wonky cycle post but we’ve all had that too it will get better! Hoping for you it’s not wonky long!
justarius I understand. I haven't been temping for months, on the advice of my therapist. I am just trying to not freak out and become obsessed again. But it compounds everything when you try to do that and then later have a late AF and are trying to figure out WHY. Ugh! Sorry. But glad AF is here and you're back 'on track' so to speak.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
Re: September TWW
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@kath525 I'm in the same boat. If this round of IVF doesn't work, I just don't know how much more I have left in me for TTC. Of course, I said that during the first round too. It's such a hard decision to make, and one that I change my mind about all the time. The financial aspect, the physical and emotional drain...it's all just exhausting. I think hey, maybe we'll NPNT, but I'm way too type A for that! I hope you're able to come to a decision that you can live with.
ETA: I'm 8DPO (I think), and nothing to even go BSC about because I don't have any symptoms other than a headache and slightly sore boobs, but that's probably the estrogen patches.
One more failed cycle until I can get testing and then we’ll see after that. I’m also too type A for NPNT. A friend told me that I needed to relax and it would happen and I wanted to kick her. I’m a miserable jerk to be around right now. Who also just cries randomly. I’m so sorry that you’re in similar boats @kath525 and @bakerstreetboys
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Icing on the cake my sister in law recently got engaged and has decided that they’re getting married in punta Cana. Hello Zika virus...so we can’t even go to their wedding. I’m not willing to give up 6months of TTC when she knows full well about our loss and our struggles. She’s only inviting 6 family members total to the wedding including us. If she really wanted us there she could change the venue! Hawaii is nice and zika free....ugh! But maybe I’m just petty? I don’t know...ugh!
Anybody else like totally DONE with 2018? Feels like the worst year Ever.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@dpjennifer yes they’re still benching people. The recommendations are to either not travel to those areas if TTC or if the man does bench for 6months, if the woman does then bench for 8 weeks. And to definitely not travel in those area if pregnant.
We’ve lost a lot of family and friends this year including our own personal loss. People touched by cancer. My parents are barely avoiding bankruptcy as they’ve made the same mistake as so many of their generation waiting on their inheritance for retirement. And worst of all my sister is in a love-less, abusive marriage with two kids and it’s taken So much for her to finally realize she needs to leave with the kids.
Then there’s always small things like just yesterday we lost power for 8hrs, had 2 trees fall in our driveway, I have my whole out-of-town in-law family here for monday’s funeral (yet another loss) and we couldn’t figure out how to get our water running when the power came back on! (Finally fixed now) sigh.
Really hope 2018 ends on better notes for all of us or at the very least that 2019 is better to all of us!
Edited cuz words are hard sometimes
You are all held dear to my heart, in that i want happiness for all. Whatever the future holds for any of us, please remember that none of this infertility and loss garbage defines who you are. #itsoktonotbeok kind of day.
Im thinking about you all and everything you’re going through. *hugs*
@rowedking6 that made me cry. You’re right. It’s ok to not be ok and all of us deserve true joy and happiness no matter the outcome. I really hope your endo isn’t coming back and that there’s something they can do
Needing some advice from experience if anyone has any to offer. Here’s my current situation: CD 32 currently, spotting yesterday with lots of cramping last night & night prior but still no real AF (usually arrives CD 30) bfn on CD 27 (11 dpo) plan to retest tomorrow if no real AF arrives. If another BFN I don’t know what to do. Wait until CD 35 take progesterone to induce a period? But then why didn’t I get a period on my own? Anovulatory cycle? But I’m taking femara CD3 for 5 days and has always made me ovulate in the past. Should I induce and take femara as usual? Should I induce and take an increased dose of femara? I feel so lost and doc won’t talk on the phone and an appt wouldn’t be for a least a month if I book. Sigh. I hate feeling so alone with these decisions.
I’m kind of in the same boat. My spotting never picked up to anything. You can set your clock by my stupid 10 day LP (with spotting the afternoon/evening before) so I’ll test tomorrow (13 dpo). Maybe it was anovulatory for me, too? Since google says periods can be lighter?
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
I'm sorry for all the rough times you ladies have been going through lately. 2018 really has been the worst year, in 100% seriousness, and I hope we all catch a well deserved break come 2019.
Anyway it seems I must’ve just had a late O as today AF in full force. Freaked out for no reason. Thanks for all the support and answers anyway ladies, you’re all the best!
@d_marie_23 sorry about your wonky cycle post but we’ve all had that too it will get better! Hoping for you it’s not wonky long!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1