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April 2019 Moms
batmama31
member
the pregnant woman's arsenal
batmama31
member
I think many of us are on the cusp of outing our conditions to our friends/family/co-workers- really, the world. idk about the rest of you, but I'm anticipating a lot of rude comments (mostly from co-workers, not all of them, but I do have couple of sour grapes in this office filled w/ military veterans- most of whom are males who STILL don't know how to be around women, much less pregnant women). I'm trying to think of witty come-backs to rude comments and am struggling. I thought we could start a thread we could all keep in our back pockets for when someone says something stupid. you know, the "are you sure it ain't twins?" or "you look like you're going to burst" type comments. or really, anything else!
like, why are we still having to explain to humans that it's completely unacceptable to comment on another human's body, ever??!
like, why are we still having to explain to humans that it's completely unacceptable to comment on another human's body, ever??!
Re: the pregnant woman's arsenal
You look like you are about to burst! Well I did take a ride into deep space recently so if something comes bursting out of me I wouldn’t be surprised!
Or
I know! Do you really think it will? I’m hoping so, think about how more of a show labor would be if we all had them like that! <again must said genuinely and with excitement.
Im all about the scarcasm and making other people feel uncomfortable about their rude questions.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Before announcing this one, I've had to avoid questions from in-law family all the way to random acquaintances about when we were having a second. Really, why is it anyone's business? I almost wanted to stick with one just because it seems to be the unpopular/unexpected route.
DD born: 3/31/19
@sheknows6, I'm waiting for the chance to use the "I'm pregnant! what's your excuse?" response when someone mentions how big I am. (I was unemployed during my first pregnancy, so I didn't encounter very many comments at all.)
@professormama, my work environment is a bit unorthodox. the entire office is an HR nightmare. nothing said here is meant well.
That being said, I have been giving this some thought because I am expecting some annoying comments about how close in age my babes will be (16 months), particularly from one very close group of friends, but I may just shut up because the best response I came up with is kind of shitty too. None of them have kids yet and none are really in a rush to do so, and I have half a mind to say something like like "go ahead and pick on me now, but let's see who's laughing when I get my life back young enough to enjoy it and you're still changing diapers." We're 30, so definitely not super young, but there's nothing wrong with having kids later and I don't even agree with my comeback, so I don't know, I'll probably just be mousey or keep it simple and tell them to fuck off.
@professormama I received the “you’re too tiny” comments all the time with my first. They generally didn’t bother me except for my MIL because she would imply I wasn’t doing something right and was constantly asking how much weight I gained. (FYI I gained 20lbs and had problems with my amniotic fluid being too low)
unless someone is dealing w/ infertility or something... but I doubt that would be the case if they are rude enough to make any comment at all about family planning.
after struggling to conceive & suffering a mc, I definitely regret every single comment I ever made to anyone about age gaps. I know I am certainly guilty of commenting about the best age gap, etc... I had no idea until now how out of our hands that sort of thing really is.</3
@batmama31 I know what you mean- I remember I used to think there were better times of year to have a baby (oh I’d be huge and sweaty in the summer, etc.), but over two years of trying and two losses sure cured me of that naivete </3. I’ll just be thrilled if I end up with one baby, and overjoyed if we ever manage to have two, whenever they show up.
On the same note (kind of), a friend and I were talking about how ridiculous it is that a woman who isn't drinking alcohol is automatically pregnant and has to make up and excuse or fake their drinks? I hate that people are just lurking, watching and waiting to call you out. Why? So you can be the first to know? Congrats, you've spoiled it.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
and I agree about the boozing comment. my dad & his wife found out about my last pregnancy b/c they connected the dots when I didn't touch the raw oysters that were ordered for dinner, or the wine. like, if you guess it, keep it to yourself? and THEN b/c they figured it out when I had no intention of telling them until after my first appointment, and when my first appointment went sour, my dad actually had the gall to be fucking offended when he had to hear the news from my sister. I'm still angry about that. so now they're being all... weirdly supportive about this one. I fucking hate it. (I also don't have the healthiest relationship w/ him so that might be a factor... but whatever)
I did snap at one person last time about "Yea, you forced it out of me. I wasn't ready to tell anyone but you had to know." It wasn't my finest moment but I'm sure she won't say anything to anyone again. I just wish people just had a clue.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
But again I go heavy scarcasm for responses.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
DD born: 3/31/19
I do try to laugh most of it off, but the rude comments about not being married really make me angry. "Are you ashamed"?
Aren't you? I always want to say that but I never have the gumption
It's 2018 fcol
My son was unplanned and "out of wedlock," also, but thankfully the only people who said anything were my elderly uncle ("Did I miss a wedding?") and a few young kiddos that I teach ("But you have to be married to have a baby!").
The future MIL doesn't comment rudely on personal appearance so much it's generally aimed at what a failure I am and how I'm only here to ruin her sons life. She now refers to the baby as hers and is trying to make all the decisions about the baby with my boyfriend as if they're the family and I'm the unwanted surrogate mom..
I'm sorry people give you shit for not being married. You could always turn it around at them by getting all nosy about their status and then tell them see how rude it is?
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
My boyfriend has my back too.. but she's careful never to let him see that side of her, she's way too smart about it lol.
The thing that gets me is his parents are both divorced and remarried.. which is fine, but as far as old fashioned standards go.. um.. divorce is just as bad as having a baby before you're married by that yardstick lol!
You know what they say, the people with the least put together lives have the loudest voices and opinions!
DD born: 3/31/19
@blueberrymomma dude. It's so insulting to be treated like you don't exist... your response is AWESOME. The audacity of some people! If you got treated that way when you were married there's no prayer for me!
I think that what it all boils down to with mine is she doesn't understand me at all. She's lived a sheltered pampered life and can't even understand why somebody would even want to live the way I have. I voluntarily became homeless and traveled around with a caravan working for people.. it was an experience, and one I wouldn't have traded anything for. So whatever she thinks about me is irrelevant. But I wish she'd hate me in silence lol
Also, we didn't have prices for our work, we just took donations.
So you'd think the MIL would like me more because I got skills haha... nope.
Also Jack Kerouac is way cooler because I didn't learn poetry at all on the road lol
It is none of anybody's business, I just don't get how in this day and age it's still a stigma..