My husband was similar. When we were TTC DS, we did TI (Clomid) with an RE and that alone stressed DH out so much we were at each other's throats all the time. Luckily, we got pg with DS but DH was pretty adamant that if we ever wanted another, there would be no treatments. Fast forward 4 years and I had a surprise BFP and then a traumatic loss. I convinced DH to go back to an RE to talk about options. He was still against treatments but humoured me by going. The RE immediately said not to waste time with TI and to go straight to IUI with femara. DH was extremely hesitant and didn't want to do it. A couple of months later, he agreed. We rationalized it like this: DH was OK to have a child or not have a child. I, on the other hand, NEEDED to have a child. It was unfair of him to put up barriers to treatment when he was wishy washy about the topic and the only good reason he had was because he "didn't want to" or it made him "uncomfortable". We agreed to 3-6 IUI and if they didn't work, we were done because he was not on board with IVF. Well, after 5 IUIs didn't work, we got selected for a fully funded IVF cycle and I couldn't turn down the opportunity, even though DH, again, was hesitant. We went through with it and we are now pregnant. I know DH is happy and excited and he's thankful that I gave him gentle pushes along the way. Key word = gentle
What are your husband's reasons for not wanting to do IUI? Is it all financial? Is he uncomfortable providing a sample? Does the process feel unnatural to him? Is he worried it will be all-consuming? These are all very valid feelings and hopefully by talking about them you can strike some sort of common ground. I also found it helpful to sit in on a session with an IF therapist. I am on these boards all the time so I am familiar with the process, the lingo, the stress, and have people to relate to, but this was all completely new for DH. The therapist was really good at validating all of this feelings and letting him know they were actually very common and shared by a lot of men in this situation.
I know how stressful and heartbreaking it is when you feel like you can see the finish line, but I hope you are both able to agree on something that works for the both of you and keeps you guys a united front. Good luck!
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Thank you everyone for the overwhelming support! Too many of you to tag haha! As many of you said of course I’m just hoping it’s a moot point and the femara does the trick. After having 24hrs to calm down and think I’m realizing that many of his reasons are exactly all the ones you listed @tosh24 but also I think I’ve been putting too much pressure on this for the past 3 years and I’m actually kind of losing it. I think his main reason is that he’s worried that IUI wouldn’t work either and then I’d really go off the deep end. After talking some more today we’ve decided to keep with the femara as long as doc will allow and hope for the best. If that doesn’t work out we’ll take a year off treatments and go natural and just see what happens. Then re-visit how we each feel if we still don’t have an LC.
Im somewhere between 6 and 10 DPO, if I count my almost positive OPK as positive I’m 9 DPO. DH and I have been on vacation this week. We were supposed to go Charleston and Hilton Head Island, but then there was a hurricane- which caused us to cancel our trip. Instead we are in southwest Michigan where my ILs have a house. Weve done wineries and cideries and at times I’ve thought to myself that I should probably be testing just in case, but I left my OPKs at home. Tomorrow when we get back, I will test.
@justarius I’m happy for you that all it took was a little time for you both to agree on a plan. It’s so hard when we just want something so very badly! I really hope the femara does the trick for you!!
TW tested at 10 DPO (when we got home) and got a BFP. DH and I both looked at each other and shook our heads. I’m sure I’ve mentioned I’m super fertile (meaning my body accepts all embryos-not necessarily a good thing) so not surprised since it was really our first real TRY. I’m going to go hang out in TTCAL grads now, but I may be back.
@chole97 I hope this is a good one and you’re not back here ever again (in the nicest possible way)!
@justarius I’m glad you were able to talk through a plan (though I hope it doesn’t come to that! DH is against IVF for us for similar reasons and I can see his point about my intensity for sure.
Yay @chloe97! I know all too well the wide range of emotions this brings, but I am wishing you the best and hope you don’t have to come back here.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Well, there's that rise, a little off track so not good timing but I'll choose to believe that the swimmers held out long enough to meet their egg!
Edited after reading something I didn't know before. Found an article on slow rise and it said rise does occur 2-3 days after ovulation and minus other symptoms like short luteal phase, is completely normal. Phew. And also, going off of ewcm, we nailed it. ... *no pun intended
So, CD1 turned out to be more spotting. I took decided to test and it was positive. I'm still spotting though and have only spotted with my losses. All of them. So I think it's pretty likely I'll be back. Regardless, I wanted to thank you all for being wonderful. Truly, I credit this board for maintaining my sanity after my last MMC. I wish nothing but the best for all of you. And, if I'm not back soon, I'll be lurking and rooting for you all.
I'm trying to not go crazier. I'm trying to be patient. According to last month, today should be AF. But for the first time ever, I used OPK and didn't ovulate till CD20. So I'm only actually 9dpo today. Gave in and POAS this morning. Of course, not even a squinter. I'm trying to not be super discouraged. I know that "average" implantation would only likely be today, so at least 2 more days before a possible BFP.... But so many people seem to get a faint line at 9dpo so I was really hoping....
This late ovulation is brutal! Makes the wait last so much longer!
@hoping4arainbow3 I feel you on the late ovulation. Since my d&c, I’ve ovulated on cd 24, 21 and 20. It’s terrible! Today I’m 13dpo, which is the day my period is due, and my temps haven’t dropped - they usually drop the day of period. I tested this Am on a frer and BFN. so confused - I have a lot of AF symptoms and did not sign up for this limbo on top of everything else. Question - does anyone get temp drop after AF starts? Mine has usually been day of but maybe this cycle is weird.
BFN this morning. Even though I knew there was basically no chance it’s still a bummer. Only 10 DPO but even with my CPs I had a positive by now so I know I’m out. Now to see if AF actually shows up...
yay @ruby696! FX you don’t have to come back here.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@Mack2342@hoping4arainbow3 it is super frustrating! Good to know that sometimes temp drop is after period starts but I’m still sitting here without one. Pretty positive of my O date, so what the hell body. With my last pregnancy i was testing positive At 10dpo so this is just weird and sucky.
@coco2787 ... that’s what my thought was too. Have tested positive at 10dpo in the past so was sure I was out. But I’m sitting here the day AF is due, no AF, BFN. Just when you think you know your body!!!
Hi, lurker here. Currently in TWW - 7DPO today. Two years ttc with two losses. Really tired of seeing those stark white tests, so am really hoping I can hold out till AF arrives - although I pray that witch better stay away!!
I gave in today and took one of the expensive, legit, early response tests (instead of the cheap ones I got off amazon). BFN. So disappointed. I really had hope for this cycle. I FEEL like it should have been +.
(CD 30. Last month was 28. According to OPK this month will be 34 days...which is a first in my life. But still. A first response should have detected if anything was there..)
So discouraged. I don't know how many more times I can handle this disappointment.
Good luck to everyone else this month! FX for lots of BFP!
I understand how feel - been there one too many times. But then my period shows up, I mop around then, then start counting to O so I can try again. You’re not alone, don’t give up!
@hoping4arainbow3, I'm so, so sorry. How incredibly sad and frustrating. I'm sorry for the bfn, I'm sorry for the wonky cycle and the grief it's causing. Thinking of you! ♡
@hoping4arainbow3 I completely get it. It’s so disheartening. I got my period today, a day late. Randomly had an extra day in my LP (I’m sure of when I ovulated). Yesterday I was so anxious and hopeful when it was late. My DH and I had taken a vacation to replace what would have been our baby moon and I truly thought we had conceived on it. It’s so heartbreakingly frustrating when you feel something so strongly only to be wrong. Hang in there. I know I’m trying to.
@coco2787 I’m the same way timing wise—but I hope it’s different for you this month and you get your BFP!
@hoping4arainbow3 and @obsessedwithoranges That’s super frustrating, I’m so sorry! This whole process is so stupid. I sometimes wonder how this is the best that evolution could come up with.
@Mack2342 I’m so sorry you don’t think you ovulated
@obsessedwithoranges aww I'm so sorry it didn't work that is extra disappointing!
@mwmiller4 right? It's actually amazing that anyone ever actually manages to perpetuate the species! It's like everything has to be exactly right for it to work.... Sometimes I wonder how we survive! I mean really... Breathing and eating in the same place...what a stupid design! Haha
Thank you everyone for all the support and good thoughts! I was pretty crabby all day, feeling dejected and disappointed. It helps to come on here and feel supported and like I'm not alone.
@hoping4arainbow3 I usually don't O until CD 20-22. It is super frustrating! It's like all you do is sit around and wait, and have less chances to become PG than everyone else.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
Jumping over here and considering myself 4DPO. My temps are all over the place, so who knows. I start priming on Wednesday anyway, but can't seem to make myself stop charting!
@mwmiller4@hoping4arainbow3 right?! How does everything manage to go right for a pregnancy... so many freaking variables to meet! It is really helpful to have a place to vent and feel supported. Onwards and upwards I guess. Now back to my 21 day wait until ovulation haha
Spotting this AM, so I'm officially out this month. Even though the POAS yesterday prepared me, I Think I was secretly holding on to hope, so I was still so dejected. Legit crying while trying to get ready for work. Putting on eyeliner is not easy when you have tears pouring down haha. DH was trying to comfort me, but was not sure how he could help.
I don't know how to stop this process from affecting my whole life. But I desperately don't want to be at work today. I have no desire to deal with or be around people. I'm generally a happy person, but I can't even fake a smile today.
*TW and to make it worse, there have been at least 4 labour calls already this morning (not that I've attended, but still. Hearing about them is extra painful today). END TW*
Re: September TWW
TW: LC, fertility treatments, and pregnancy mentioned
@justarius
What are your husband's reasons for not wanting to do IUI? Is it all financial? Is he uncomfortable providing a sample? Does the process feel unnatural to him? Is he worried it will be all-consuming? These are all very valid feelings and hopefully by talking about them you can strike some sort of common ground. I also found it helpful to sit in on a session with an IF therapist. I am on these boards all the time so I am familiar with the process, the lingo, the stress, and have people to relate to, but this was all completely new for DH. The therapist was really good at validating all of this feelings and letting him know they were actually very common and shared by a lot of men in this situation.
I know how stressful and heartbreaking it is when you feel like you can see the finish line, but I hope you are both able to agree on something that works for the both of you and keeps you guys a united front. Good luck!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@justarius I’m sorry that YH refuses to do IUI.
Im somewhere between 6 and 10 DPO, if I count my almost positive OPK as positive I’m 9 DPO. DH and I have been on vacation this week. We were supposed to go Charleston and Hilton Head Island, but then there was a hurricane- which caused us to cancel our trip. Instead we are in southwest Michigan where my ILs have a house. Weve done wineries and cideries and at times I’ve thought to myself that I should probably be testing just in case, but I left my OPKs at home. Tomorrow when we get back, I will test.
@chloe97 GL. Sorry your travel plans didn’t work out but southwest MI is beautiful!!
best wished to all you!
Congrats @chloe97 I hope this is the one for you!
@justarius That's great that you were able to work out a plan. I hope femara does the trick for you
@justarius I’m glad you were able to talk through a plan (though I hope it doesn’t come to that! DH is against IVF for us for similar reasons and I can see his point about my intensity for sure.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Thanks again everyone for the overwhelming support! Really helps!
Afm, about 4 dpo without much of a temp rise but here we go. Hope you all are holding up well!
Edited after reading something I didn't know before. Found an article on slow rise and it said rise does occur 2-3 days after ovulation and minus other symptoms like short luteal phase, is completely normal. Phew. And also, going off of ewcm, we nailed it. ...
@rowedking6 I've noticed I have a slow rise since the first MC. I'll get like a itty bitty bump at 1dpo and then 2dpo, it rockets up.
I'm not even sure if I ovulated this month, but I'm plunking myself here now.
@rowedking6 I have also experienced the slow rise. Fx for you!
I’m 3dpo and hoping that the beginning of school insanity makes this TWW painless.
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
I'm trying to not go crazier. I'm trying to be patient.
According to last month, today should be AF.
But for the first time ever, I used OPK and didn't ovulate till CD20. So I'm only actually 9dpo today. Gave in and POAS this morning. Of course, not even a squinter. I'm trying to not be super discouraged. I know that "average" implantation would only likely be today, so at least 2 more days before a possible BFP.... But so many people seem to get a faint line at 9dpo so I was really hoping....
This late ovulation is brutal! Makes the wait last so much longer!
*Edit cuz apparently I can't type
yay @ruby696! FX you don’t have to come back here.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@coco2787 ... that’s what my thought was too. Have tested positive at 10dpo in the past so was sure I was out. But I’m sitting here the day AF is due, no AF, BFN. Just when you think you know your body!!!
(CD 30. Last month was 28. According to OPK this month will be 34 days...which is a first in my life. But still. A first response should have detected if anything was there..)
So discouraged.
I don't know how many more times I can handle this disappointment.
Good luck to everyone else this month! FX for lots of BFP!
@hoping4arainbow3 and @obsessedwithoranges That’s super frustrating, I’m so sorry! This whole process is so stupid. I sometimes wonder how this is the best that evolution could come up with.
@Mack2342 I’m so sorry you don’t think you ovulated
@mwmiller4 right? It's actually amazing that anyone ever actually manages to perpetuate the species! It's like everything has to be exactly right for it to work.... Sometimes I wonder how we survive! I mean really... Breathing and eating in the same place...what a stupid design! Haha
Thank you everyone for all the support and good thoughts! I was pretty crabby all day, feeling dejected and disappointed. It helps to come on here and feel supported and like I'm not alone.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
I don't know how to stop this process from affecting my whole life. But I desperately don't want to be at work today. I have no desire to deal with or be around people. I'm generally a happy person, but I can't even fake a smile today.
*TW and to make it worse, there have been at least 4 labour calls already this morning (not that I've attended, but still. Hearing about them is extra painful today). END TW*
I wish we had "mental health" days.