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TTC After a Loss
bakerstreetboys
member
September WTO
bakerstreetboys
member
I cannot believe that it’s September!
CD 3. Waiting to start our next round of IVF later this month.
CD 3. Waiting to start our next round of IVF later this month.
Re: September WTO
May we all have an egg this month!
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
I’m CD5 so still 10ish days out. I’m not feeling very optimistic—this is cycle 5 that we’ve tried on and I’m beginning to worry that I have scarring from my latest D&C. And I’m not sure how I feel about going through testing/treatment and then possibly having ANOTHER MMC which will lead to another D&C and the cycle repeating
@mwmiller4 I had 2 D&Cs back to back, along with a CVS. I was deathly scared about scarring, but my OB swore it was very unlikely. I did have scarring in my cervix, but TW managed to conceive DD. Now I worry about the scarring from my c-section. Are they going to do the test (I forget the name) to check?
AFM cd 18- and I’m staying at my parents house one more night while DH is back home. I have an almost positive OPK and now I’m freakunh out that I missed the LH surge yesterday. Tomorrow, I will race back home and jump DH. Hopefully, we can hit -1, because we will be -1 and -4 Best case scenario. Trying to keep faith, but I have a feeling I’m going this cycle will be a bust.
TW held my best friends baby girl today and I melted. She also had a few losses and went through IVF, so I’m in no way bitter, but it just made me remember how much I want this.
@mwmiller4 I never really gave any thought to scarring before coming back to TB. It's a worrying thought-- but what I understand it is somewhat rare? I had a D & C in 2012 because of uterine polyps a year before conceiving and having my LC. And I had a D & E in Feb after my MC. I am right there with you as I am now in my fifth cycle of trying post-MC but I am perservering.
@chloe97 I have a friend with a newborn and she often asks me to hold the baby when she's not nursing. My heart bursts holding a little baby. I don't feel bitter either. In fact, it motivates me to keep trying.It's the same when I see a little toddlers running around at the playground, especially when I see siblings playing together.
fx for all of us.
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
@g3mommy I’m so sorry for your loss and for the waiting/uncertainty. It’s so hard sometimes
@chloe97 I hope your timing is better than you think it is! It’s so hard to hit those deadlines we set for ourselves.
@rds51510 I hear you on holding babies and seeing siblings play. Every single one of my mom group friends is pregnant or newly postpartum. Out of the 6 of us, I’m like a sad little island. And I love their kids and seeing their families grow (especially my friend who is 7 weeks pregnant with IVF cycle 8 baby) but I’m still so sad for us and I feel so alone.
So, from what I’ve been able to figure out, my odds are at least 30% that I’ve had scarring https://www.ashermans.org/home/ This was D&C #3 but I had a rather forceful placenta removal with DD and with the latest D&C my doc said that if she didn’t do the ultrasound I requested after the procedure, there would have been retained products. Which makes me nervous that something is off to begin with. I know that there’s a 70% chance that things are ok, but MMCs odds are like 10% and placenta accreta is 0.1% so I’m used to being on the crappy end of reproductive statistics, I guess. I think the next step is a Hysteroscopy if we haven’t conceived after 6 cycles/months.
@mwmiller4 I hear you about being on the wrong side of statistics. I went down some really dark paths after my 2nd MMC. I convinced myself I was 1000 different bad things because I was had 2 MMC back to back. It’s so hard not to go there. How many months have you been trying? How long until you could get the hystercopy? My BFF had scarring from a botched polyp removal and had to have 2 surgeries correct, but TW I held her rainbow baby yesterday. So even if it’s scarring, it doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant again!
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
It's been quite a while since I've had any of those labs but where would I even start? I read a very interesting article yesterday and last night, hopefully I can find a little direction in there. I know I've done a tsh and ft4 ft3 but never a reverse t3.
Supposed to O in the next few days, so we'll see if any of these latest symptoms affect that or not.
Thanks for letting me vent.
@rowedking6 Sorry you're feeling so crappy. Good luck with getting more information about testing. At 40, I know how you feel!
@Mack2342 Sorry you're here, but I'm glad you get another month to try before your surgery.
@chloe97 this is cycle 5–so I have this ovulation and then the next month before I make appointments to make more appointments.
@rowedking6 I’m so sorry about your husband’s reaction (or lack thereof). FX it’s not peri menopause—for what it’s worth, it took me several months to feel hormonally normal after my last MC (and after my first, as well).
@rds51510 I’m really ok overall. *TW* I’m so happy to have DD overall and I know we’re beyond lucky to have her. It’s just so hard when it feels like it’s not wholly our choice (and other people are all “it was an accident hehehehe”)
*TW*
I have a LC and actually this journey we're on really makes me appreciate her existence and health. We are so lucky to have had the opportunity to create such a fantastic human. Whenever I see siblings together, I feel worried LO will be lonely as a single child. DH tells me that she's not alone and that she has lots of people in her life that love her. And, I have siblings and I'm not super close with them as adults anyway... so there's that. I just feel incomplete and unfinished.
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
I'm jumping back in her after being gone for a few weeks. I was feeling pretty down since it took so long for AF to return (exactly 8 weeks from my D&C). Plus we were on vacation and then **TW - LC ** it was back to school time for my DS (1st Grade) & DD (Pre-K), so I've been swamped with paperwork and events and meeting teachers and just life.
@bakerstreetboys Good Luck with IVF!
@Mack2342 FX that you have success before your surgery
@chloe97 Hope you were able to jump DH in time!
@g3mommy I'm sorry for your loss. I'm also close to 40, so I understand the ticking clock. Good Luck!
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
@kjr9519 I’m in the same boat as you. I think we tend to hold out hope for a miracle. I’m glad you’re looking forward to trying again.
Im finally on CD 1! It’s my first AF since my MC in July and D&C in August. I had driven myself crazy reading stories of Asherman’s so I am so grateful. I feel more generous towards my body. I think I was mad at my body for failing. Now that my cycle is getting back to normal I almost feel a little bit more healed.
@denma2015 did you get to canning today!? Every year I say I’m going to can and then I don’t, lol. One of these years I will! This year we just did freezer jam and I froze a lot of the fruit we picked.
@McKBaby Yay for AF's return. I remember waiting anxiously for mine to come back after my D&C.
@Mack2342 Woohoo for flashing smiley! Hopefully this is your lucky month and your hip will have to wait
CD14 and still no positive OPK for me. Getting tired of peeing into little cups in the work bathroom!
It's extra annoying because I have to wait for the positive to start this next IVF cycle.
@denma2015 I'm so jealous of your tomatoes! Mine barely start to turn before something eats them. I'm pretty bitter about it and questioning whether I should even bother next year.
@McKBaby Happy to hear AF finally showed. Good luck this cycle!
@bakerstreetboys I'm impressed you commit to the cup at work. I can't figure out how to manage it without people wondering what I'm doing, so I've tried to use OPK's without a cup. I don't recommend that...
@ruby696 sorry you are here. It’s frustrating when our bodies don’t cooperate
@Mack2342 Thanks and good luck this month. Also, I'm really excited for you to have your hip replacement. It's been life changing for a couple of my friends.
@prpl11butterfly, lurk away. ..hopefully your routine works for you!
@ruby696, doesn't that just make you wonder in the world your body is up to? I was always irregular, so no surprise but crazy enough I've gotten more regular in my old age lol
Idk whether or not to move to tww @Mack2342, you? ?
Ugh. I just realized I'm out of town CD 13-15! So frustrating!
Well @Mack2342, see you on the other side then! Fx for you!
Off to tww ladies, fx for all of you
@Mack2342 I'm in exactly the same boat as you; temps are all over the place, got a super positive OPK yesterday afternoon, and don't feel like I usually do when I O. So frustrating...I hope it becomes clear for you. I also started looking into hip issues and alternatives to a replacement. Definitely wishing I were younger these days!
@kath525 how frustrating, especially now that you have O worked out!
@ruby696 Hopefully you catch the surge! I caught mine at work yesterday
@prpl11butterfly Are you trying to change anything major? Am I imagining it, or have you mentioned maybe trying baby asprin? Whatever it is, I hope it works for you.
@Mack2342 Same here. I was in the best shape ever four years ago, and now at 40, there are days when I can hardly walk after I get out of bed. I hate to think how bad it will be at 80! I have started to have days too where I think "and I desperately want to add a newborn and lack of sleep to this"?!
I hope your body smartens the F up and gives you clearer signals. I don't even know what mine is doing, but I'm going to switch to relying on the + OPK and not temp, and head over to the TWW even though I'm not even sure if I O'd this month. See ya over there!
@rowedking6 nope. DH won't be with. I'm only going 2 hours away though. I told him he should meet me halfway saturday for a little car quicky. How romantic haha. Not sure if that will actually happen.