PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - September 2018

JWatt5 · September 2018

@Hopeful_mom - if you are feeding BM, it can depend on what you've eaten (maybe) with the gas. Or its general air intake which will happen with BF or Bottle. After a month you could try a probiotic to help with their gut, sometimes its that. Sometimes it's just being a baby - Parker would get gassy, tummy and rear end (he's still called Tootie at home). Every morning or after a nap I got his legs are abdomen moving around with a tummy massage and bicycling his legs and for his tummy I found a homeopathic drop Kids 0-9 Colic Drops helped immediately. I never had to try Gripe water or Oval drops but a lot of people swear by them too.

MMD1986 · September 2018

@Hopeful_mom have you tried offering her anything for her gas? We swear by Gripe water in our house. It works so well for Brooks. We also really like the Dr. Brown's bottles to help reduce gas.

Have you talked to her pediatrician about everything? I know what you eat can definitely effect your BM and baby's gassiness. It could also be the formula you are using. The pediatrician may have a good recommendation for you.

mbradfo2 · September 2018

Babies can just be super gassy since their digestive systems are still learning how to work -- we dealt with gassiness for the first few months or so. Mylicon drops in every bottle (or at every feeding) and bicycling the legs helped, along with holding her upright until we got a few good burps out of her. My dad says gripe water also works for some people. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do and babies will generally always have moments when they are fussy due to gas or other upsets. Our doctor says the Mylicon drops also don't work right away, you have to take them for a bit. If you're doing any bottle feeding, a bottle change could help too -- every baby likes a different bottle. We swore by the Philips Avent natural vented bottles for her first few months; now she just uses the anti-colic ones but gas isn't really an issue anymore.

safire3 · September 2018

@sarzee2 congrats on your little man, he is so cute! I think almost everyone struggles with feeding in the beginning in one way or another. Self care is super important. I tried all those milk bars and teas and as @2MomsHoping said the only difference I noted was spending more cash. However I did see an increase in my supply when I had a lot of help and I was ensuring I had 3 good meals and snacks every day. I had pp he,orrhage when he was 1 week old and after that I had a lot of family staying with me to help for a while. I still supplement with formula as needed though to make sure he is getting all that he needs.

@hottietoddy I’m glad you got better news from the cardiologist. I try to remind myself that when it comes to having more the decision doesn’t have to be made this minute. Even if things look bad now there is no telling where we will be in 1 or 2 years from now. DH and I keep saying we will talk about having more when Ozi is a year and we see how the year goes but we still find ourselves talking about it all the time.

@Hopeful_mom I second all the suggestions for gas. We use Mylicon drops sometimes and cycling the legs but sometimes the gas is still so bad that it makes him cranky and wakes him from sleep. Also bottles can make a difference and angling the bottle so that baby is not taking in excess air while feeding. We had actually switched him to a formula for gassiness at one point and his gas got worse. I did notice that formula was more foamy when prepared so maybe drinking the foam was causing the problem. We switched him back to the regular formula and it improved. It’s also believed that foods we eat can cause gassiness when babies are BF but I’m not sure how science based that is.

@MMD1986 thank you so much for the suggestion. I am purchasing a rocker and bouncer from Facebook marketplace for $20! I hope Ozi likes at least one of them but even if he hates them it will be worth it just to try it out for that price.

mbradfo2 · September 2018

@safire3
yeah, the similac pro-sensitive we use gets super foamy when you mix it up! I've always wondered if that contributed to gassiness. We get the ready-to-feed stuff from our rep and when I'm stirring the cereal into the formula it gets so much foam on top! I can't imagine how much foamier it would be if you were mixing from the powder. We are using it for minor reflux issues though and now she's used to the taste so we won't switch back to the regular variety. She's very picky -- she doesn't like formula plain (only with cereal) and it has to be freshly poured; my parents once tried to give her a bottle that they had prepared a few hours before and she rejected it!

Holls214 · September 2018

So sorry about all the feeding problems...

I have no advice as I couldn’t BF. When Bryson had severe gas and fussiness we added liquid Zantac and no problems since.
Big news- Bryson has slept thru the night 2 nights in a row now. I mean what?! Of course we’re still waking up at 3, 4, 5 because we are used to it but hey I hope this sleeping train keeps on going...

cashewchicken · September 2018

Welcome @safire3 and @sarzee2! Congrats on your lovely babies!

Two things that worked for my supply are: pumping frequently and staying hydrated. I don’t really eat anything that supposedly promotes lactation, other than occasional lactation tea from Mrs. Patel’s. That brand has a chai flavored tea that I find delicious. I’m not following their directions on how to brew the tea though, so I’m not sure it does much other than helping me stay hydrated.

Breastfeeding is not easy, even when you have a decent supply. I supplemented with formula the first... 3 weeks I think? My son had a feeding issue so we wanted to make sure that he was fed. After that my supply increased enough to exclusively breastfeed but I struggled with him not latching properly, falling asleep during nursing, and crying hysterically from fast letdown. So I pumped and fed him from the bottle often. I think it took close to 3 months for me (and my son) to master nursing. Now it’s easy, my son can empty my breast in 5-10 min.

So don’t stress if BF is not happening like you expected it to. It takes time. And if it doesn’t happen for you, it’s okay. Fed is best. I’m a formula fed baby myself and I turned out ok, according to my mom anyway

Hopeful_mom · September 2018

Thanks for the advice ladies! I've been using the gas drops and a probiotic. I guess I'm just impatient and want everything to work super fast! It's just so frustrating who wants to see there LO in pain! I'm also trying a new bottle como tomo, anyone try those? I'll keep u posted once I try them.

as for bf I think I'm just disappointed that now it's 3 months and I'm still struggling for this big supply to come in. It's just so disheartening listening to everyone else have this over abundance and I'm pumping for an hour lucky to walk away with an oz at times. I'm starting to just hate it! My boobs will get so hard and sore it's mind boggling that so Lil comes out. I don't mind feeding and pumping at the same time so I don't feel like I'm losing time from her but now that I'm measuring it more I really dislike it!! Listening to many of u ur milk caught up and I feel like I followed suit as all of u and I'm still waiting

Love bf her but hate the pumping as it just doesnt empty me out. Everyone thinks I'm nuts for torturing myself as everyone around is formula fed.

@holls214 what a dream!! Hope it continues!! How's daycare going?

@safire3 awesome find glad u can get them! Hoping ozi will like one of them!!

2MomsHoping · September 2018

@hopefulmom I’ve heard feeding out of the bottle causes more gas. Ours has a terrible time with it. We switch to the dr.browns bottles (which have a million annoying parts) but seem to help and we do a burp break ever 1-1.5oz. She does not like the interruption but in the long run it works better for us. Sometimes we have to do several positionchanges to get the burp out but she usually has one in there.

@mtbadger thank you for the support

....but I’ve decided to quit. The last few days have been ROUGH. We have been trying to nurse again. So I nurse. She cries. I cry. Then I hand her off to DW for her bottle and then I pump (and likely cry some more). Last night my precious unicorn baby was sleeping as usual and I was up pumping which sucks. Then when she got up she absolutely wouldn’t latch and she even eeked out her first tear. Broke my damn heart. I decided to give her her a bottle. She was so upset I didn’t even warm up the pumped milk I had. Just did formula and we cuddled on the couch she wrapped her little hand around my pinkie and happily drank while looking up at me. No more tears, no more stress, just happy baby, happy mama. So I have mad mom guilt totally quitting and especially doing so before my one month goal to “try my best” but I feel like I have such precious little time with this baby of mine and I just want all the happy time I can get. It’s hard to let this go but I’m trying to take my own advice and give myself some compassion. I feel this is what is right for us. I’m going to taper off with pumping the next few days. Not really sure how to quit but today I just pumped when I was uncomfortable. I’m not making much to begin with about 8oz a day. If anyone has tips on how to stop let me know.

2MomsHoping · September 2018

Ahh I totally missed a whole other page of updates!

@hopefulmom I wish I could give you a hug but I’m in creepy internet land so all
i can say about the breastfeeding struggle is boy oh boy do I get it.

@holls214 Hip hip hooray for some sleep!!!

mtpbadger · September 2018

@2momshoping don’t let any of that Mom guilt creep in! You are making the best decision for you and your LO and happy Mom = happy baby in my book! You did your best and figured out what worked well for you. Remember, Fed is best!

If youre not producing much much I would think doing what you are doing should work, you could maybe even just hand express if you feel uncomfortable just to take the edge off so that way your body doesn’t think it’s doing a feed.

Filling out all the daycare forms and it’s making me super sad. I can’t believe I’ll had to leave her in a month. Thinking about it makes me cry so I’ve been pushing it to the back burner but it’s gotta get done.

mbradfo2 · September 2018

@2MomsHoping
Don't feel guilty if you're making the best choice for you and your family! Formula is there to be an option -- and it's a good one. Happy mommy and baby is the most important thing. As I've said, I did formula from day 1 because I knew it was the best choice for me and my family -- in terms of my mental state, recovery from the c-section, etc. I definitely got alot of side-eye in the hospital and sometimes I feel guilty that I didn't try to tough it out like so many moms here, but baby is -happy-, I'm happy and that's the goal, isn't it?

JWatt5 · September 2018

@2MomsHoping - try not to feel bad. It’s the hormones on top of the pressure to breastfeed today. I felt so much relief when DH said enough for me with trying to breastfeed and when I finally stopped pumping as well. It’s liberating to be able to be able to stop after a struggle - pumping literally sucks. I bought myself a formula pro as my own congratulations gift and said enough. Being able to go to bed when I wanted, go out when I wanted, sleep in if Parker did - they will be fine and you’ll feel like a new mom. You did amazing!!!

Holls214 · September 2018

@2MomsHoping don't feel bad for quitting... You are a rockstar for trying! I felt bad for like 1 day then I figured formula was the best thing for him and all I was doing was torturing myself to get 2 oz a day. Honestly, it made me feel so much better not pumping and working so hard for something that just wasn't going to work for us. Bryson never latched on because of my nips, so he doesn't know anything but a bottle anyways. He is so happy and so healthy and that is all that matters right?

And also- DW can help with feedings too. My DH feeds him a lot as well, which is bonding for them as well.

persnickity · September 2018

@2MomsHoping no guilt! You're being an awesome mom by doing what works best for you and your baby. Your daughter would much rather spend time with a happy you and have formula, than an unhappy you and have breastmilk.

@hopefulmom if you're hard after pumping, you might need a different flange or different pump settings. You should feel that your breast is softer afterwards.

safire3 · September 2018

@2MomsHoping don’t be hard on yourself. What’s best is what works best for your family. No use in wasting time getting frustrated when you could use that time to bond with her. Let go of the guilt and enjoy your baby girl!

@Hopeful_mom I’m not expert at pumping. I only do it if I’m engorged for some reason but you shouldn’t feel like your breasts are still full or hard after. Maybe try massaging them or warm compress before pumping and play around with the settings in your pump to see what works best for you.

byrneme · September 2018

@2MomsHoping - it's not quitting. It's not giving up. It's not failing. It's recognizing that you are doing what is best for you and your baby. It's hard to see that, I know, but you are doing what you need to do to help your little one thrive. It's all good. Like others have said, don't let that mom guilt take over. Focus on all the time you'll get to spend with her, you've got this.

Polythene Pam · September 2018

@2MomsHoping no guilt!! It literally took my doctor and our pediatrician telling me IT’S OK! Before I quit at 6 weeks with my daughter. I cried. And then I snuggled her and got some sleep and all was right with the world

I had so little that I did the same, just pumped if there was too much pressure. My friends swear by cabbage leaves on your boobs (?!) that and a sports bra to help if there’s pressure.

@Hopeful_mom don’t compare yourself to others, it’ll drive you batty! I couldn’t breastfeed one baby but could the next. The body is a crazy thing. It’s nothing that you are doing wrong, it just doesn’t always work and that’s ok

MMD1986 · September 2018

@2MomsHoping just echoing what everyone else said. Don't let the guilt get to you. When I quit pumping everyone in my house was happier (we never breastfed). All the stress was gone and we all got to just enjoy more time together.

cashewchicken · September 2018

@2MomsHoping Being happy is the most important thing. Don’t feel guilty. Like others said, happy mama, happy baby!

sarzee2 · September 2018

@2MomsHoping Many many creepy internet hugs. Definitely do not feel guilty, just enjoy your time with her and get all the snuggles!

Weirdly...I kind of like pumping? It's sort of a game or something, like pouring both bottles together when I'm done and seeing what I made lol. But it's definitely hard when Carter is down for the first part of the night and DH is sleeping and it's midnight or 1 AM and I feel like I "have" to pump for 30 minutes and then of course rinse the parts, wash the bottles (waiting for another set of parts and bottles to be delivered as we speak) and then before I know it Carter is up again and I've gotten like 20 minutes of rest.

I realized today how hard it's going to be when DH goes back to work in a week and a half though...he was out of the house for about 3 hours today for a freelance gig and between diapers, Carter being fussy and then needing to feed him a bottle, it took me 90 minutes to do 30 minutes of pumping. I guess I'll have to just pump on one side at a time so I have the other side "free" to hold him, feed him, etc?

mtpbadger · September 2018

@sarzee2 you can also try putting the pump parts in the fridge (don’t wash, just throw them in a baggie) and use them again. It saves a lot of time! You just wash/sanitize at the end of the day then.

JWatt5 · September 2018

@sarzee2 - there were times of the day I didnt mind pumping. I honestly didn't mind my evening pump - I just watched TV. I had a double pump and a hands free bra. The hands free bra is the BEST! Id still need to massage towards the end but still so helpful - but ya when the baby needed picked up it was hard!

persnickity · September 2018

@sarzee2 I can see liking the feel of accomplishment. Some days I'm in awe of what i could pump. But I much prefer nursing and only pumped at work and night (to build my stash). Now I'm wrapping up and can't wait to be able to stop pumping. It's just such an effort to wash and prep everything, plus making the time available at work.

2MomsHoping · September 2018

Everyone I can’t thank you enough for the outpouring of support. I’m really really lucky to have found this community to support me through IF, pregnancy, and now new mommyhood. Honestly I don’t how I would make it sometimes without all of you. you guys are like the best I-got-your-back kinda team anyone could ask for.

Holls214 · September 2018

Anyone else’s hair falling out? I am shedding like crazy! I have a ton of hair so not a huge deal but oh my gosh it’s everywhere and driving me crazy.

mbradfo2 · September 2018

@Holls214
I actually cut all my hair off postpartum because I was getting super uncomfortable with it being so hot down here! But I hear that is perfectly normal, especially if you have thick hair.

I've been thinking randomly, ladies -- especially for those of us with daughters -- if and/or when you intend to discuss their own "origin" so to speak? I'm not sure if it's TMI or if it should just be a normal thing to talk about one day when she's older ("We needed a little help from doctors"). Especially if your daughter runs into the same issues with starting her own family one day...

mtpbadger · September 2018

@holls214 omg yes!! The amount falling out seems crazy but it’s perfectly normal as during pregnancy we don’t lose as much, so it’s all balancing out now. It’s still insane though!

@mbradfo2 I haven’t even thought about that!

JWatt5 · September 2018

@Holls214 - oh the hair loss it was intenses. I thought way too much at some times! Lol. Now it’s growing back in and I have a lions mane of baby hairs - not good for cottage and beach weather lol. And so much grey growing in now

Polythene Pam · September 2018

My hair loss was disgusting! It was way worse this time around, I feel like I vacuumed daily. I stood up in a wedding in July, I have all these short hairs now, it was a mess trying to tuck the hairs into wedding hair. Haha, lots of headbands, it’s finally looking semi normal again.

@mbradfo2 we talked about this recently! My daughter (5) was luck, graham was IVF, and then my 2 sisters were both adopted (I was the “surprise! You CAN get pregnant!” baby). My daughter was asking a lot when I was pregnant with Graham (HOW does he come out?!) and I only answered her in the simplest terms, but my husband and I talked about this if she asked where everyone came from (she never did). But one day I will tell both our kids the full shebang, especially since my sisters being adopted is incredibly obvious. My parents were very open with us, and my mom passed before we had kids, so I really wish I’d known more about what the issue was, they only talked openly about the adoptions, I never thought to ask how they dealt with all the emotions etc. I don’t want graham to feel different or weird about anything so I don’t know how or when we’d tell them, but I do intend on being open. Like you said, especially if they might have any troubles, I want them to know they can talk to us.

Interested to see how others think they’ll handle that too

Holls214 · September 2018

Yeah there’s hair everywhere! Can’t wear black much or blow dry my hair with the shirt I’m going to wear on. So many little broken hairs too on top.
We will be open with Bryson about how he came. I have 2 adopted brothers and 2 full siblings and my parents told them from day 1 about their adoptions and were totally open about things... they were both adopted when they were 2 but are not related, just from the same orphanage in Russia.

2MomsHoping · September 2018

@mbradfo2 we have talked about how talk to our daughter about her origins a lot. We started the conversations with how we want to handle conversations about the donor but also has extended to IF since I had such difficulty getting (and staying pregnant). I have also found out since going through all this that my mom had a very similar story to me she didn’t do treatments but after years of tying I’m an only and she was only 24 when she had me. I don’t know that knowing this would have changed my course any but I might have been a little less surprised. I want to make sure she knows it might be difficult to build a family and that we are here to support her. We also did one of those IVF pictures where she is surrounded by tons of medications to be part of her baby book. I think having stuff like that around makes it easier to start conversations or encourage her to ask questions.

cashewchicken · September 2018

I started losing my hair about 4 months pp and lasted for about 2 weeks. That was scary. I knew that I was only losing hair that I would have shed had I not been pregnant but it was scary losing clumps of hair! Also around that time my boy started to really yank my hair hard and I would find his fist full of my hair. Gah. @Holls214 I’m the opposite. I was only able to wear dark colored clothing.

I’m not sure when we will tell our son how he was conceived. I might wait until he’s old enough to receive sex education so that he would then have a better idea of how he was conceived as opposed to how most people are conceived. Also probably by then he would have more appreciation for science and see how cool it is that a human egg can be fertilized in vitro, then placed into a uterus to create a baby.

stella_700 · September 2018

My mother-in-law gifted me with one of those pregnancy journals/scrapbook thingies. I plan to use it plus the pictures of the babies as embryos and the ultrasounds, plus I've kept my calendar with all my dates, appointments, betas, etc to explain to the twins when they are old enough to begin asking questions. I'll put it together this winter break probably. (I've got zero free time for projects right now)

While I knew no one else IRL that was going through this (my mom is one of those people for whom traditional birth control pills are ineffective, I'm the oldest four) and used this board to connect to people going through the process, I was also very open with my difficulties conceiving with my immediate family. That openness is a reflection of how tightly bound we are after growing up with an active duty parent; having no extended family around us seems to have created that closeness. I know that this isn't the way a lot of people are able to handle it, (family issues are the worst, luckily ours are all with the extended family) but I was blessed this way. Anyway all that stuff simply means when our daughter grows up and wants to start her own family and IF she has issues I hope she'll come to us so we can share the burden and difficulty.

sarzee2 · September 2018

DH and I plan to make a book of the whole process in child-friendly terms with pictures of the needles, my retrieval/transfer days, sonograms, things we did while I was pregnant and up until his first week earthside.

DH has actually been making me these story books that chronicle our previous year together since our first anniversary (so 11 books now!) so we'll just start up the same practice with Carter!

mbradfo2 · September 2018

Ladies, how long did it take for your kiddo to cut their first tooth?

We have a little white ridge peeking up through the gum; might be a little more erupted today, hard to tell since she fusses when I try to check and her tongue is always in the way! I have no idea how long it takes to fully erupt though! And I've read most of the pain is during the initial cutting through the gum rather than throughout the entire tooth eruption?

Her teething mitt will arrive tomorrow so that will hopefully help her out when she gets fussy over it. She's been pretty good today until the past hour or so, but she's probably also getting tired. Getting the hang of her teething toys and chewing them in just the right spot, I think. And fewer teethers thrown on the floor today...

Hopeful_mom · September 2018

Holy hairloss batman @Holls214 it's insane!! I do have hair on the longer side so I always shed but these last few weeks it's been outta control!!! My mom is nervous with all of it she's finding everywhere! Mind u I have it up most of the day as the baby yanks at it otherwise...hoping it will stop as I don't have much to spare anymore!

@sarzee2 omg can I get a clone of your DH! That sounds so awesome! I find through this process that so many men aren't as supportive a single they should be so I love hearing the men that take the extra steps it's so nice!!

@2MomsHoping you've already received great advice here! congrats on making the best choice for u! Sounds like your daughter helped in the process which is awesome!

Thanks ladies for the info! I'm taking all the advice! I've tried everything with my pump so much so that more poor nips are so sore! Baby is just the best at getting the job done when she wants too

GD bless her she still thinks this is a. 24hr buffet. I have been supplementing with formula but she still needs my boob to sleep which makes me feel good that she wants the comfort just sad I can't fully satisfy her!

I will say this week she has been talking up a storm she even has a new high pitched squeal that she likes to try out at 4am...I do love It but I'm not sure the rest of the building does.

persnickity · September 2018

@mbradfo2 The front two top and bottom took a couple days before you could see them clear of the skin. Then took forever to fully come in. Like several weeks, maybe a month or so for the top. The hard and painful last was just a couple days.

mbradfo2 · September 2018

@persnickity
Thanks! She's gotten alot better at using her teethers now and we didn't have to resort to tylenol at all today -- once she started cutting, we had been using it fairly regularly to keep her comfy (doctor said 6 hrs between doses was fine). I have a teething mitt coming in for her tomorrow so that should also help her out a bit, I think. I figure it will be another couple of days until it's fully cut through and then hopefully she'll get a break from the discomfort.

If anyone is in the path of the hurricane, stay safe! It looks like it's weakened but Irma just grazed us with her outer bands last year and we had no power for a week

persnickity · September 2018

@mbradfo2 Hopefully the teething notm helps. Mackenzie refused to chew on anything we got her to try and help with teething. But she also didn't have any issues during the day with being grumpy, just trouble sleeping at night.

PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - September 2018

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