@katy0990 we've talked about it prior to pregnancy, but he's not super into the idea of needing to be married to prove you're committed and all that. Earlier in the relationship he was more open to it, but things change. Honestly, pressure from his family, the baby's name (I told him I would feel really left out and like I wasn't part of the family if baby had his last name and i didn't), and insurance woes seem to be the only things changing his mind. If I weren't pregnant I don't think it would be in the cards for us. But the practical benefits of marriage seem to be swaying him. Financially it makes SOOOO much sense to bite the bullet and get married. I mean, it's been 15 years so there's no reason not to!
@scaredunprepared Wow! I thought you had been together a long time, but 15 years is so long! I completely understand where you are coming from with the name. It would really bother me if I had a different last name from my kiddos. I hope he comes around soon!
@scaredunprepared what's his hang up? Obviously you guys love one another to be together this long, is he just the type that doesn't want the formal title? And of course- don't answer if it's too personal
@Jens_Hoes yes that's pretty much it from what I gather. He's not into the formality (or finality!) of it. He's always been putting it off. First it was after we graduate college, after he finds a job, then after I finish grad school, after I pass my boards, after I get a job, etc. Lately it's been, "we'll talk about it after we settle into the new house". He's running out of excuses at this point!
His brother is the same way though, he was in a 7 year relationship and she ended it because he wouldn't commit and pop the question. So I wonder if there's something else deeper holding them back that I'm missing? SO's never said so when I've asked. Their parents are still together though, and want them both to settle down, and even they don't understand what's holding him back, so I'm at a loss.
@ab_canada I get what you are saying, but in their situation it doesn’t sound like much would change. They already live together and are having a baby! It doesn’t get more drastic than that
@katy0990 and @ab_canada you both have valid points! I think our lives are changing pretty intensely already, may as well just change one last thing while we are at it! They are both resistant to change though, they kind of live by the philosophy "if it ain't broke, why fix it?". Sorry for hijacking this thread!!!
@scaredunprepared He reminds me of Ben Affleck in He's Just Not That Into You. He won't marry Jennifer Aniston, so she leaves him, then ultimately she comes back when he shows how much he cares about it after a big life even. And then he proposes! Maybe your big life event will be the baby!
@scaredunprepared How adorable would it be if he puts baby in a onesie that says "will you marry my daddy?" That's gotta be from a movie or something because there's no way I made that up. lol I think some guys just feel that way though. My brother and his GF have been together for a while and aren't engaged. He keeps telling her he doesn't want to get married, but he has reasons. Our parents got divorced and when my brother married his wife she turned into a completely different person so I guess he's afraid his GF will too.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
@AdorkablePixie and all you other wonderful ladies, I'm resurrecting this thread because...now I have a story! It's not as cute as the "will you marry my daddy?" (which is seriously effing adorable and needs to happen...if not in real life then definitely a movie if it's not already!), but it's pretty great.
So tonight (or technically last night since it's after midnight now), after I got home from work, SO was wearing his "going out" clothes and I got suspicious. I asked a million questions but he wouldn't budge. Finally he said, "on an unrelated note, we're going for a drive".
He drove us back to our college campus where we met and we went for a stroll across campus, a real walk down memory lane. Visited the dorms where we met, the cafeteria, student center, and reminisced together. Then we visited the tavern that was the local hangout, and went to dinner at applebees, because that's where broke college kids go for fancy dinner lol.
After dinner, he drove us back to campus and we took a walk to the track where we had our first "date" before we were actually dating to stargaze, pretty much exactly 15 years ago to the day. We look around back at our old dorms from the track. Then he stops me and says, "this is where it all started 15 years ago, but today is the start of so much more". Then, the whole one knee and ring thing! It was so sweet, romantic, and perfect. He's definitely not usually a planner, or a romantic by any means, so I know this was a lot for him. I couldn't have planned it better myself. He did good!
So I get to be officially "engaged" for 15 hours! Lol
@scaredunprepared I am sure you are over the moon!! This makes me so happy!! What great news to start all of our day!! Happy engagement and Wedding day!!
@scaredunprepared Yaaaaaaayyyyy! I'm happy that he took the time to plan out a great evening for you two. Congratulations Future Mrs. _
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@morgantu@LLynde5@hannelorre@lippy625@hkom@kadeephd@ab_canada@rosebud332@katy0990@Jens_Hoes@clbness@echo-charlietango Thank you all so much! The engagement was incredible, and the wedding was even better. We thoroughly enjoyed our special day, and I got my Bonefish Grill wedding dinner! The first time we ever ate there I announced I wanted to have them cater our wedding. While it wasn't catered, I still got exactly what I wanted The day honestly could not have gone any better. I've now officially hijacked this thread!
I am going to spam some wedding belly pics in HDBD because...I can.
So yeah, I definitely teared up at these stories. Mine is a little weird but I love our story. Met my husband in school, my parents were super strict. Dated my husband without their permission. He was my first everything (except kiss lol) so my parents felt they were losing their little girl when he came along. Poor guy. So while dating my hubby he joined military and had to go away for training, basic and then AiT. Went to visit him for both graduation (my parents were livid! "You're going to visit a boy just to have sex!") *insert eye rolls * at his AIT graduation in Texas, he took me to Tower of the Americas, a nice rotating restaurant where he proposed and asked me to wait for him. He had no access to jewelry or money due to being on military training so he had a string in his pocket and he wrapped it around my finger!! I wore that string like it was diamond. My parents thought I was crazy and my girlfriends laughed at me!! He came home and brought me a gorgeous pink sapphire and diamond ring! We started planning our wedding but reality set in...my parents were refusing to accept or participate in anything for the wedding. Me being a mom and daddy's girl was heart broken. I was still in college, last year so I asked my husband if we could wait. It broke his heart. And the fact my parents refused to accept him didn't make it better. I thought we could survive it but we broke up. I thought I would never hear from him again but we kept in contact, we never hated each other. 2 years later, he was in Kuwait with the military and we both were dating other ppl. He comes back home from Kuwait and with uniform still on he drives to my apartment. He asks me to be his girlfriend. 😂🤣. I said I have a boyfriend! He said he'd wait. A few months later we date, he buys us a house (I'm nervous cuz I'm like we JUSt got back together but he says he knows he wants to be with me). In our new house, I was sick that day, I felt awful, he comes home and says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and never wants to lose me again and he gets down on his knees. He has a brand new engagement ring with pink sapphires (my fave color and an upgrade from the previous one). I said yes and we got married 10 years later from the first engagement. This time I said regardless if my parents show up, but they did show up and paid for alot of the wedding!!! Yes!!!!! Everyone of our friends said "finally" during the wedding toasts lol God's timing is amazing. Now my hubby and my parents are best of friends.
Re: GTKY: Engagement Stories
And of course- don't answer if it's too personal
His brother is the same way though, he was in a 7 year relationship and she ended it because he wouldn't commit and pop the question. So I wonder if there's something else deeper holding them back that I'm missing? SO's never said so when I've asked. Their parents are still together though, and want them both to settle down, and even they don't understand what's holding him back, so I'm at a loss.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Eta: I need to watch that movie again!
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!So tonight (or technically last night since it's after midnight now), after I got home from work, SO was wearing his "going out" clothes and I got suspicious. I asked a million questions but he wouldn't budge. Finally he said, "on an unrelated note, we're going for a drive".
He drove us back to our college campus where we met and we went for a stroll across campus, a real walk down memory lane. Visited the dorms where we met, the cafeteria, student center, and reminisced together. Then we visited the tavern that was the local hangout, and went to dinner at applebees, because that's where broke college kids go for fancy dinner lol.
After dinner, he drove us back to campus and we took a walk to the track where we had our first "date" before we were actually dating to stargaze, pretty much exactly 15 years ago to the day. We look around back at our old dorms from the track. Then he stops me and says, "this is where it all started 15 years ago, but today is the start of so much more". Then, the whole one knee and ring thing! It was so sweet, romantic, and perfect. He's definitely not usually a planner, or a romantic by any means, so I know this was a lot for him. I couldn't have planned it better myself. He did good!
So I get to be officially "engaged" for 15 hours! Lol
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I am going to spam some wedding belly pics in HDBD because...I can.
Met my husband in school, my parents were super strict. Dated my husband without their permission. He was my first everything (except kiss lol) so my parents felt they were losing their little girl when he came along. Poor guy.
So while dating my hubby he joined military and had to go away for training, basic and then AiT. Went to visit him for both graduation (my parents were livid! "You're going to visit a boy just to have sex!") *insert eye rolls * at his AIT graduation in Texas, he took me to Tower of the Americas, a nice rotating restaurant where he proposed and asked me to wait for him. He had no access to jewelry or money due to being on military training so he had a string in his pocket and he wrapped it around my finger!! I wore that string like it was diamond. My parents thought I was crazy and my girlfriends laughed at me!! He came home and brought me a gorgeous pink sapphire and diamond ring! We started planning our wedding but reality set in...my parents were refusing to accept or participate in anything for the wedding. Me being a mom and daddy's girl was heart broken. I was still in college, last year so I asked my husband if we could wait. It broke his heart. And the fact my parents refused to accept him didn't make it better. I thought we could survive it but we broke up. I thought I would never hear from him again but we kept in contact, we never hated each other. 2 years later, he was in Kuwait with the military and we both were dating other ppl. He comes back home from Kuwait and with uniform still on he drives to my apartment. He asks me to be his girlfriend. 😂🤣. I said I have a boyfriend! He said he'd wait. A few months later we date, he buys us a house (I'm nervous cuz I'm like we JUSt got back together but he says he knows he wants to be with me). In our new house, I was sick that day, I felt awful, he comes home and says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and never wants to lose me again and he gets down on his knees. He has a brand new engagement ring with pink sapphires (my fave color and an upgrade from the previous one). I said yes and we got married 10 years later from the first engagement. This time I said regardless if my parents show up, but they did show up and paid for alot of the wedding!!! Yes!!!!! Everyone of our friends said "finally" during the wedding toasts lol God's timing is amazing. Now my hubby and my parents are best of friends.
@blueberrysmommy25 sometimes it takes 10 years (or 15!) for the timing to be right. Your story is a beautiful one!
@scaredunprepared OMG That is so sweet!! I was tearing up. I'm so happy for you!!!
@blueberrysmommy25 That's great you two ended up together in the end.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!