September 2018 Moms

Travel at 37wks

My husbands Grandma passed away on Monday. We went down with our 2 daughters to say our goodbyes Saturday-Sunday. The funeral is not until this coming Sunday and Monday. I will be 37 weeks on Sunday last dr appt I was 1cm dilated and 30% effaced soft cervix. This will be my 3rd child. 1st was a long labor 20 hrs at 38wks 6days. 2nd was a short labor 4 hours at 40 weeks. The funeral/wake will be 2.5 hours from the hospital. I’m VERY uncomfortable with going and most likely will miss it. Monday is also my one daughters first day of school in a new school (we just moved) My husband of course doesn’t understand any of my concern about being 2.5 hrs away. I also tested positive for GBS and will need antibiotics. And I’m high risk pregnancy and one thing I’m high risk for is premature labor although thankfully did not happen in previous pregnancies. I told my husband I do not feel comfortable with being that far away. He’s fine with it. But he still plans on going Sunday and staying over until Monday evening. And also wants to go down this Thursday-Friday to be with his parents. I can’t help but feel a little worried that if I were to go into labor I’d be alone with my daughters. And I’m upset that he doesn’t see ANY of my concern. I understand he does not want to miss his grandmothers funeral. I hate to miss it myself. But is it really necessary to spend time with his parents now as well. That means 4 days 2 separate trips he will not be around. And I can’t help but think what if I go into labor what do I do? Who would be with me in labor? What if my parents or sister don’t answer if it’s in the middle of the night?! I’d have to wake up both girls carry them to car drive them somewhere and myself to hospital?! I mean do I have validity to my feelings or what?! 

Re: Travel at 37wks

  • Agree with @stothi, it is a really sucky situation with terrible timing, but if you have family in town hopefully they are willing to step up and help you out while he’s gone. Is he also willing to keep his phone on and come home as soon as (if) you call?  At 2.5 hours he could probably still make it in time if he left right away.
    i can definitely understand his desire to be there though.  I’m missing my grandmother’s funeral this weekend because I’ll be 40 weeks and it would require flying to get there. If there was any way I could safely manage it, I would do my best to go too. 
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  • I understand him wanting to go to the funeral. I’m completely fine with that. But going down so he can be with his parents who are okay I’m not. This wasn’t a surprise and his mom has already said she doesn’t feel like being taken out to dinner anyway doesn’t make sense to me when I can go into labor and he could possibly miss the birth of his child. Forget the stress it puts on me and everyone else. I’m upset that I’m missing the funeral too but the thought of giving birth at some random hospital with a random doctor who knows nothing about my medical history, high risk pregnancy OR giving birth on the side of the highway somewhere is obviously a little concerning. I go to the doctor tomorrow so I’ll get her opinion on the matter. It’s just a sucky situation and I want my husband with me if by chance I go into labor. Not my mom or sister you know? Missing it for the funeral okay. Missing it because you want to take your mom out to dinner I’m not okay with. I guess that’s just me....
  • No I wanted to hear opinions but I was a little surprised everyone was so okay with possibly having a baby without their husband.  I went to the dr today. I’m 3cm now 50% effaced and -1 so it can literally be any day. And that’s what the doctor said not what I’m saying. So very real chance. 
  • I don’t think anyone is saying it’s be great to have the baby without your husband. Obviously, we all want our husband around when we give birth. But I think most people agree that if he’s only 2.5 hours away, he’ll likely be back in time if he leaves as soon as contractions start and that with a death in the family it’s not unreasonable for him to want to go. 
  • He chose to not go down today to spend time with his family. He’s called his parents every day. They’re okay. It’s in debate of what to for wake and funeral. I’m leaving it up to him. The dr said as soon as I start having contractions that are painful and 10 mins apart to just go to the hospital. My last daughter came in less than 4 hours. Or about 4. Water broke around 5 got to hospital around 6 and she was born at 8:26. So 2.5 hours away and this is not if he hits any horrible NJ traffic. Tough call. But I’m leaving it up to him since responses on here make me feel like I’m just being overly emotional. We shall see! Maybe the baby will come before Sunday and then he can go down w no worry and I’ll just arrange someone to take care of our daughters and bring me and baby home from hospital. 
  • Good luck, I hope it all works out. If your mtgdp two were born between 39 & 40 weeks, while this one COULD be born by 37 weeks, I think we all figure it's not terribly likely. I hope baby arrives right on time, when your husband is home with you.

    My first was born at 35 weeks. This time my husband left at 38 weeks for an all day event, where due to driving time/distance, as well as the fact that due to the nature of the event he literally was 2 hours away from the phone and an hour away from the car even if I called, he was honestly like 4-5 hours away from me for 10 hours. When I had already been in and out of labor for more than a week.

    And I was home alone with my toddler. I told him to go. But that was our choice. The event was not important like supporting family after a death, or a funeral, etc
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

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  • His father told him to only come tomorrow as there is a viewing right before the funeral mass. So that is what he is doing and most likely taking my younger daughter (2.5) with him so I only have my 4.5 year old who has school to tend to. So I’ll be alone all day which is good bc I can then just drive myself to the hospital if my water breaks like it did last time. He will be gone all day still and I’m a nervous wreck about it since Thursday I was 2.5-3cm dilated -1 station. Also lost part of mucous plug. I just hope if anything does happen the labor lasts as long as it takes for him to get back up here. My last went in under 4 hours. 
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