My husbands Grandma passed away on Monday. We went down with our 2 daughters to say our goodbyes Saturday-Sunday. The funeral is not until this coming Sunday and Monday. I will be 37 weeks on Sunday last dr appt I was 1cm dilated and 30% effaced soft cervix. This will be my 3rd child. 1st was a long labor 20 hrs at 38wks 6days. 2nd was a short labor 4 hours at 40 weeks. The funeral/wake will be 2.5 hours from the hospital. I’m VERY uncomfortable with going and most likely will miss it. Monday is also my one daughters first day of school in a new school (we just moved) My husband of course doesn’t understand any of my concern about being 2.5 hrs away. I also tested positive for GBS and will need antibiotics. And I’m high risk pregnancy and one thing I’m high risk for is premature labor although thankfully did not happen in previous pregnancies. I told my husband I do not feel comfortable with being that far away. He’s fine with it. But he still plans on going Sunday and staying over until Monday evening. And also wants to go down this Thursday-Friday to be with his parents. I can’t help but feel a little worried that if I were to go into labor I’d be alone with my daughters. And I’m upset that he doesn’t see ANY of my concern. I understand he does not want to miss his grandmothers funeral. I hate to miss it myself. But is it really necessary to spend time with his parents now as well. That means 4 days 2 separate trips he will not be around. And I can’t help but think what if I go into labor what do I do? Who would be with me in labor? What if my parents or sister don’t answer if it’s in the middle of the night?! I’d have to wake up both girls carry them to car drive them somewhere and myself to hospital?! I mean do I have validity to my feelings or what?!
Re: Travel at 37wks
Just let your parents and sister know that he'll be away and ask them to keep their phones on. Or even better ask them to come spend the night. I'd also have him take the girls with him for the Thursday-Friday trip and then you'd only have to ask your parents or sister to stay over on Sunday-Monday. You know exactly when he'll be gone so you can plan.
It's a sucky situation but you can work around it.
I hope everything works out for you.
i can definitely understand his desire to be there though. I’m missing my grandmother’s funeral this weekend because I’ll be 40 weeks and it would require flying to get there. If there was any way I could safely manage it, I would do my best to go too.
It's a shitty situation. Losing a family member always is, even if you know it's coming. My mom most certainly liked having my siblings and I around when my grandmother passed a couple years ago. It didn't matter that she was sick and her passing wasn't a surprise, she still lost her mom.
I understand why it's an upsetting situation, but 2 1/2 hours away at 37 weeks doesn't seem that bad to me, especially considering you went to almost 39 weeks and 40 weeks with your first 2. I would set the expectation with him that if you start experiencing contractions and you call him, that he needs to head home right away, but in your shoes I would "let" my husband go.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
My first was born at 35 weeks. This time my husband left at 38 weeks for an all day event, where due to driving time/distance, as well as the fact that due to the nature of the event he literally was 2 hours away from the phone and an hour away from the car even if I called, he was honestly like 4-5 hours away from me for 10 hours. When I had already been in and out of labor for more than a week.
And I was home alone with my toddler. I told him to go. But that was our choice. The event was not important like supporting family after a death, or a funeral, etc
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green